Femme vs. Guy mode attraction: what turns it on or off?

[ReineD]

In the "GG at work wearing item that made you want to dress (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111273)" thread, I asked a few questions in response to one of the posts. My questions got buried in the thread so I thought I would reword them and begin a new topic.

One CD in the thread said that he was attracted to a GG while he was in guy mode, then he noticed something about her (in this case her shoes) that set off his desire to dress, and this blew out of his mind all his sexual guy thoughts about her.

I have several questions :)

1. How many of you feel the way the CDer I've described above felt? Is it a question of either feeing an attraction to the woman (in guy mode), OR an attraction to the clothes (which would put you in girl mode)? And if this happens, then is there any more sexual attraction or a different kind of attraction?

2. Can both attractions happen at once? If so, do you wish to stay in guy mode or switch to gal mode? Which side overpowers you?

3. Does a sexual attraction to a woman's beauty itself trigger you to dress and be beautiful even if the woman is not wearing anything that triggers you?

4. Is it possible for you to be sexually attracted to a woman and NOT be triggered to dress and if so, what is the difference between her and someone who does make you want to dress? I mean ... how would you ever feel attraction to a woman long enough to begin to feel romantically about her?

5. Once you are already dressed and you see a beautiful woman who is beautifully dressed (or not), would she still set off a trigger? Can you be sexually attracted the same way as in guy mode to a beautiful woman you see walking by if you are dressed? Or do you just want to be her gal pal?

6. When your desire to dress is triggered by a woman you think is sexy, is your desire still sexual but instead the object is yourself dressed rather than the woman who triggered you?

I don't know if I've asked all the right questions to stop being so confused about this!! lol Please feel free to answer any way that feels comfortable to you rather than adhering to my questions.

Thank you!

:love:

[GaleWarning]

Reine, perhaps I am the wrong person to start answering this thread, but hey ... I do have a point of view.
I dress for my own gratification. The "thing" that sets it off is somewhere inside and does not depend on external stimuli.

What attracts me to a woman? Having done a lot of dating in 2008, I can honestly say that I have approached each first meeting with an open mind and no set notions of what to look for, other than that I knew I did not have to impress them; they had to impress me, if I was to pursue any further contact.

I met 11 women, Four of them impressed me; two of these were impressed by me, and we met again.

The first was a very attractive woman. Without getting too explicit, I was fascinated to discover that she always wears matching underwear! We had a lot in common and things might have gone a lot further ... but ... she had baggage! An ex who filled her every waking thought. Regretfully, we called it a day.

S is not what most people would call attractive. I do not mean this unkindly, for S has a wonderful sense of humour, which is what got me. An early exchange went something like this:
C: I want to get into your knickers.
S: You can't, cos I never wear any.

I know that sounds gross, but we had met a number of years earlier in very different circumstances.

So, I have learned that a woman's personality is more important than her physical features or the clothes she wears. Hopefully, my personality is likewise more important than what I am wearing.

Regards, C

[trisha59]

1. When I see an attractive woman I see an attractive women
2. Seeing the clothes does not make me want to dress. As Clay said its something inside
3. No
4. Yes
5. If this were to happen I would respond to her as a male.
6. A visual image does nothing in my desire to dress. Time and opportunity has more to do with it.

Probably didn't help much. I do know this, Taking in to account that beauty is in the eye of the beholder If I saw a really pretty woman in casual dress and a less attracted women in a dress I would be more attracted to the latter.:idontknow:

[sherib]

Femme vs. Guy mode attraction: Nothing turns it "off " or "on". I love to dress 24/7. Although I don't have the time. I'm still a husband, dad, grandfather and uncle. I still make repairs on the house and do other things for the family in guy mode. When I have the time for myself, I'm Sherib. But when I'm out in guy mode, I'm very critical of how GG'd dress. Sometimes I'm jealous of some of the clothes women wear that I know I can't get in my size.
does this make since?

[Lorileah]

I have several questions :)

1. How many of you feel the way the CDer I've described above felt? Is it a question of either feeing an attraction to the woman (in guy mode), OR an attraction to the clothes (which would put you in girl mode)? And if this happens, then is there any more sexual attraction or a different kind of attraction?

I appreciate how an item of clothing looks but it never stopped me from drooling over a woman.



2. Can both attractions happen at once? If so, do you wish to stay in guy mode or switch to gal mode? Which side overpowers you?


Used to be sex. Now just a lust for when I was younger



3. Does a sexual attraction to a woman's beauty itself trigger you to dress and be beautiful even if the woman is not wearing anything that triggers you?

Nope, dressing is separate and never was sexual. Ok I know I'm weird



4. Is it possible for you to be sexually attracted to a woman and NOT be triggered to dress and if so, what is the difference between her and someone who does make you want to dress? I mean ... how would you ever feel attraction to a woman long enough to begin to feel romantically about her?

Um yeah...all the time but now I have to remind myself I ain't 25 anymore and those women don't want an old man.



5. Once you are already dressed and you see a beautiful woman who is beautifully dressed (or not), would she still set off a trigger? Can you be sexually attracted the same way as in guy mode to a beautiful woman you see walking by if you are dressed? Or do you just want to be her gal pal?

I am sexually attracted no matter how I am dressed and I am NOT a "lesbian trapped in a man's body" I am a person attracted to another person



6. When your desire to dress is triggered by a woman you think is sexy, is your desire still sexual but instead the object is yourself dressed rather than the woman who triggered you?

I don't turn myself on anymore

I don't know if I answered what you were asking

[deja true]

For some reason, Reine, I'm feeling really dumb right now... 'cos as many times as I've read over your questions and tried to find any answers even to one of them, I just can't seem to formulate a reply in my head that makes any sense. So, it occurs to me that, for the way I think, the questions are just too analytical.

Love is love and attraction is attraction and I've never questioned it or ever wanted to. I don't think about what attracts me to any particular person, I'm just attracted. Maybe it's spirit. Maybe it's pheromones. Maybe it's something else entirely.

I've been attracted to women (and others...ahem...)because of their clothes. I've been attracted to women (and others ... ) in spite of their clothes! Been attracted by makeup, by a laugh, by a smell, by a witty comment. Never made a connection like you're askin' about here. Don't wanna!

:strugglin:

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Reine,

I didn't respond in the other thread because this sort of thing doesn't happen to me very often but nevertheless, I will try to answer your questions as honestly as I can.



1. How many of you feel the way the CDer I've described above felt? Is it a question of either feeing an attraction to the woman (in guy mode), OR an attraction to the clothes (which would put you in girl mode)? And if this happens, then is there any more sexual attraction or a different kind of attraction?
Yes it has happened to me before but mostly when I was younger and more sexually charged about the "fetishistic side" of cross dressing. Today, I can see a women wearing something I think is really cute and pretty, but it only marginally makes me want to go home and dress than I would do had I have not seen her. My "urge" if I can use that term is not that pronounced anymore as I tend to dress in women's clothes (to a greater or lesser extent) pretty much all the time so I've become somewhat desensitized to the clothes themselves per se but if I was honest, they sometimes (depending on what type of mood I'm in) can influence the level of my interest toward her.



2. Can both attractions happen at once? If so, do you wish to stay in guy mode or switch to gal mode? Which side overpowers you?It can happen at the same time, I can see a cute looking woman and think she is attractive, but if she is wearing something that I like she becomes "more attractive" to me. Neither one over powers one or the other one, you just go with how your feeling at the time.



3. Does a sexual attraction to a woman's beauty itself trigger you to dress and be beautiful even if the woman is not wearing anything that triggers you?
Yes if it's my wife, not really if it's someone else. I can't honestly say that how a stranger looks would make me want to go home and dress even if she was as beautiful as I think my wife is.



4. Is it possible for you to be sexually attracted to a woman and NOT be triggered to dress and if so, what is the difference between her and someone who does make you want to dress? I mean ... how would you ever feel attraction to a woman long enough to begin to feel romantically about her? Yes. But as I said, there aren't that many women who when I see them, I want to dress more. When you're attracted to a woman - I mean like I was when I first started dating my wife, you're attracted to her herself, the dressing is not my main focus, it can be part of it and maybe enhance it, but the woman herself is often all you need.



5. Once you are already dressed and you see a beautiful woman who is beautifully dressed (or not), would she still set off a trigger? Can you be sexually attracted the same way as in guy mode to a beautiful woman you see walking by if you are dressed? Or do you just want to be her gal pal?
Yes. I can still find a woman attractive when I'm dressed. Some (but not the majority) of my most intimate moments with my wife have happened when I've been dressed.



6. When your desire to dress is triggered by a woman you think is sexy, is your desire still sexual but instead the object is yourself dressed rather than the woman who triggered you?No, not for me. I think this is autogynephilia isn't it? I think I can look quite cute when dressed (sometimes) but I'm not attracted to myself in a sexual way at all.

I'm sorry that some of my answers were "wife focused" but I'm not particularly sexually attracted to women I'm not in love with or at least have some sort of meaningful personal relationship with.

Hugs
Rachel

[StephanieC]

For me, there's not much sexual attraction going on. If I see a girl with a really cute outfit, I almost always wonder how that outfit would look on me. Obviously, there are tons of outfits that would not work, either due to style or age-appropriateness and in those instances, I just relish that they are able to bring off their look.

But it's not limited to clothes...it could be makeup, a curve of an arm, or the color of a tan...it's appreciation of the form (as art?), not the sexual object. (Does that make sense?)

[Cheshire Gummi]

I'mma answer these questions. You don't have to read my answers.

1. How many of you feel the way the CDer I've described above felt? Is it a question of either feeing an attraction to the woman (in guy mode), OR an attraction to the clothes (which would put you in girl mode)? And if this happens, then is there any more sexual attraction or a different kind of attraction?

-I am evenly bisexual and I've even been attracted to TGs and CDs before. There is a schism between my male and female personae, but there's no difference in my attraction to others; just in how I approach them.

2. Can both attractions happen at once? If so, do you wish to stay in guy mode or switch to gal mode? Which side overpowers you?

-This depends on my desires. If I'm aggressive and frenetic, I feel more masculine, but if I'm more lovey and sensual then that's definitely my feminine side. When all is said and done, though, I usually collapse in a cuddly pile of contentedness.

3. Does a sexual attraction to a woman's beauty itself trigger you to dress and be beautiful even if the woman is not wearing anything that triggers you?

-I like looking cute rather than beautiful, but I'm not inspired by looking at other women. I want to look like the most beautiful girl I can look like, not emulate someone else. So, long and short of it is, if I see a woman that catches my eye, she catches my eye because I want her, not because I want to be her.

4. Is it possible for you to be sexually attracted to a woman and NOT be triggered to dress and if so, what is the difference between her and someone who does make you want to dress? I mean ... how would you ever feel attraction to a woman long enough to begin to feel romantically about her?

-The best way to answer this question is to say that my girlfriend and I are very much in love. I fell in love with her before I really accepted who I am, back in the fantasy days, if you can dig it, but I don't think that if we had met at a different time it would have changed why we love each other.

5. Once you are already dressed and you see a beautiful woman who is beautifully dressed (or not), would she still set off a trigger? Can you be sexually attracted the same way as in guy mode to a beautiful woman you see walking by if you are dressed? Or do you just want to be her gal pal?

-I would want her in a romantic sense, but we would need to be friendly with one another before we got romantic. I can't be romantic with someone I don't feel anything for emotionally. I think that answer just kind of muddles the question up a bit, though so I'll just be sort: I'd be sexually attracted.

6. When your desire to dress is triggered by a woman you think is sexy, is your desire still sexual but instead the object is yourself dressed rather than the woman who triggered you?

-Being dressed and acting sexual as a woman is more gratifying to me, but that's a personal thing. It has almost nothing to do with the other person. When you're feeling good about yourself, everything seems a bit better.

Maybe the clothes and mannerisms are just a form of rose-tinted shades, but who cares? At least I'm not out in the street robbing people or getting into shootouts with drug-lords in suburban neighborhoods.

:sb: