Old folks home

[Missy]

Has any one ever thought about what if they ended up in a nursing or old folks home and had truoble with dressing would the aids or help help dress a old man in bra and panties and dress if he did that before he got put in the home or would they make him wear mens under shorts

[Kristen-Gaye]

One thing at a time Missy! :sigh:

[Kathi Lake]

Wow! Ummmmmm, . . .

I'm not exactly what you would call a planner. Heck, I'm not sure what I'm going to fix for dinner tonight - much less where I'll be a long, long time from now! I tend to not worry about a lot of stuff. It drives my wife nuts! :)

When it becomes necessary for me to be a resident of God's Waiting Room, I hope that I'll still be able to take care of that issue using the old Smith & wesson route. :)

Kathi

[5150 Girl]

My SO was a nurse in a nursing home for quite some time, and she said the likely would but ony if he had all his mental faculties.

[trannie T]

Do we get tapioca today?

[dawnmarrie1961]

Missy, that's a good question.I'm glad you asked it.
I tried Google but wasn't able to find much information.

I worked as a nursing assistant, at various adult homes, for almost 15 years so I can understand the complexity of the issue. One interesting fact is that in all those years I never had the pleasure of taking care of anyone who cross dressed or had the desire to. Perhaps they were afraid to ask given that the word "home" doesn't often imply the atmosphere of an institution feels that way. Privacy is often a commodity that unfortunately patients don't have much access to even in the best facilities.

I can't really answer your question now. But what I will do is email a few nursing home administrators to find out what their policy is.

That might take a few days.
I will post the results.
Thanks for asking the question. It deserves an informed response.

[sissystephanie]

If I am not mistaken, you bring your own clothes when you move into one of those places. I know my mother-in-law did when we had to place her in one. So if all you had was panties and bras, I would think that is what you would wear! Maybe not a bra, unless you had something natural to fill it!!:D I do have natural 40 B's now, but years from now..........????

Anyway, I don't want to go there! Just make it quick and painless!!Shot by a jealous husband when I am 90+!!:daydreaming:

[Lorileah]

Anyway, I don't want to go there! Just make it quick and painless!!Shot by a jealous husband when I am 90+!!:daydreaming:

As Jan Murray used to say I wanna go out the way I came in Broke naked and with a nice lady.

They do make male and female "Depends" so I guess you could request female. Time to stock up on Granny Panties?

[dawnmarrie1961]

I sent in inquiry in at placeformom.com
I gave them background info that I need to find a facility that has a history of being CD friendly. I know there is a place to find info on homes that are Gay/lesbian friendly but since a vast majority of CDs don't fall into the category I don't feel that it is prudent to proceed in that direction.

I'm going to concentrate my search on the south Texas region. Since that's where I am . If anyone wants to search other parts of the country please feel free to do so.

Thank you.

[Mya Summers]

well they do have to honor who a person is, they CAN Not talk about it on the outside of the nursing home or care facility to any one it's called Resident Confindetiality<"forgot how to spell it" if you are in right mind they can not tell you what to do because it is your home when your there. but they do make private room care facilities as well. As for me that is the last place I want to be and if my kids put me in one I am going to haunt them in the after life..lol And that is not something I want to think about at this moment, I have way to many years left till that fine day when I depart this earth.

[Samantha B L]

I'm a very lucky person in that I have a variety of health problems and my sister acts as my custodian She says that I'll never ever have to go into an old folks home.

[BarbiB]

I want to be dressed up as Donald Duck every morning... . Of course they will have to help me slip the yellow leggings with webbed feet attachments on after I get that light bulb shaped genuine white feather duck suit on. I should be able to manage the beak prosthesis and sailor hat myself for the most part until I am 90 or so.... The wings won't matter, because they have people to spoon feed you on staff already.

[Angie G]

God I hope so.:hugs:
Angie

[BLUE ORCHID]

Depends Support hose and Orthopedic shoes??????
.................................................. .............thanks.......ORCHID

[Fondew2004]

I have been a planner all my life; am told that I'm a "type A" personality...but that is even too far in the future for me!

Maybe an "assisted living" arrangement would be better than a true "old folks home"??

[Nikki A.]

I would guess that they would have to honor your wishes as long as you have your faculties.

[Rachel Morley]

This is an interesting thread to me because my wife and I had a similar conversation about his sort of thing a few weeks ago. She said how horrible it must be if a CDer who dresses often were to go into an old folks home and have to follow some sort of strict bi-gendered dress code. She said that she would love to be the nice GG who helps sweet old men who used to be t-girls dress up and feel pretty again. However she doubted that the staff would allow her to makeover a resident even if she had their permission and she did it for free :sad:

My wife is slightly unusual as she looked to date a CDer before she met me and she also likes seeing the transformation of someone who looks cute dressed. I just hope that I go before she does so that I'll never have to go through what I can only assume would be a miserable existence not being allowed to dress :sad:

[Mary Morgan]

My sense of it is that the nursing homes like our money as much as anyones. As long as the bill gets paid, I think they will accommodate us. I'll let you all know when I get there.

[sterling12]

By and large, medical people are pretty liberal. It would be unusual, but if you were compis-mentis, and that's what you requested, that's probably what you would get. It would be a subject of gossip for a while, then it would just be an everyday thing.

But, I think you would have a bigger problem. I've been DON in a couple of homes during my career. We seemed to often have a problem with thievery. Lots of clothing, lots of just about anything that wasn't screwed down to the floor. A lot of people who work in these places believe themselves to be low-paid and abused, or they are just plain thieves . Yes, to steal from the old and infirm is really a low thing to do, but it happens.

I used to advise family, "take their jewelry home, don't tempt someone to steal from them." I would imagine that if some very nice underthings were available, they would probably go "out the door" too.

So you could probably dress femme, even if someone else had to do the dressing. However, just to keep your stuff, your daily wear would probably be "utility-type" undies and outer clothing.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[dawnmarrie1961]

Hello everybody. I just received a phone call from a local nursing home in regards to my inquiry on homeformom.com. I had a nice conversation with a social worker about my "father's" special needs. I told her that my father cross dresses as a way of feeling close to my mother who passed away several years ago. I asked her if they had any experience with that type of behavior. I relayed my concern about him being treated with dignity and respect. She assured me that that is their policy. She invited me to take a tour of the facility next week. I declined telling her that I am just at the inquiry stage right now.

I also checked my email:

Dear Donald,

Thank you for contacting A Place for Mom. Having worked with hundreds of families, I know that selecting a new home or services for a loved one can be difficult and stressful. Yet many people try to make this important decision without the advice of a trained professional. As your FREE personal Eldercare Advisor, I am here to answer questions and provide you with referrals and details on senior care options in your area.

The first step in making a good decision is to visit a few communities or care providers. I have taken some time and selected several care providers that should meet your needs. I can help you set up a schedule to tour, and please feel free to contact our partners listed below to learn more and arrange tours. The selected care providers may also call you to schedule a visit. After you tour, give me a call or I will contact you and we can discuss if they met your needs. If not, I can offer more options for you.

When you talk to or tour any of the care providers listed below, be sure to tell them Deb Larsen at A Place for Mom referred you! Your personal referral will ensure our service remains freely available to families. Please call or e-mail me anytime! I am always interested in knowing how your search is going and am ready to assist you in any way I can.

Blue Haven Family Care Home
21165 Farm-To-Market Road 507
Harlingen, TX 78550
Contact: Ernst Etienne
Phone: 956-428-3499
Click here for directions to this community.

Villa Residential Care of Harlingen
105 Al Coneway Loop 499
Harlingen, TX 78550
Contact: Jesse Ayala
Phone: 956-425-7035
Click here for directions to this community.

Canterbury Court
900 Camelot Dr
Harlingen, TX 78550-8416
Contact: Patricia Trevino
Phone: (956) 412-7000
Click here for directions to this community.


The following options are also available in the areas you are looking in Texas:

Angel Care Haven
Elegante Assisted Living
Wood Living Center of Harlingen 6


Please take look at our short informational video about the residential care home option. It is a great tool to help you learn if a residential care home is the right option for your loved one. Click here to check out the video.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgmbuCgJxjw

Another great resource to check out is A Place for Mom's Family, the first online community website http://elder-care-community.aplaceformom.com/ set up specifically for the families of aging loved ones to talk about eldercare. Find or share tips on moving mom or dad, legal matters, financial aid for Veterans, Alzheimer's care, dementia and so much more. Join today!

My ofcourse response to the email:

Deb Larsen, Thank you very much for you informative and timely response to my inquiry. It is nice to know the there is a service like yours available. I worked as a nursing assistant for many years at adult homes in Central New York and had many opportunities to talk to loved ones about how they arrived at the difficult decision of placement. They all agreed that it was the hardest thing they ever had to do.

I am going to be totally honest and straight forward in regards to the true nature of my inquiry. The question of elder care for people with a desire to cross dress came up on an internet forum for cross dressers to which I frequent. I assure you it is a very respectable site. It was a legitimate question which I felt required a legitimate answer. Many members, like myself, are getting up there in years and there is the real fear of encountering discrimination and ridicule in our golden years should the need to for placement in an assisted living facility arise.

We just want to be treated with dignity and respect and like "normal" people, which we are.

I apologize for being dishonest with you.
I would greatly appreciate any suggestions and response that you can give me.
Thank you for your time

Sincerely,

Donald Andrus

Well that's where I'm at so far in my search for an answer to the question at hand.

[Deidra Cowen]

Well...I don't want to end up in a retirement (nursing) home. But I have kinda from time to time thought it would be a hoot to live in one of those retirement communities where ya have your own condo/apt/house and be a CD most da time.

Things are changing a lot might be able to pull it off by the time I get that old and retire. I already have ideas and plans on the type looks, hairdos and outfits I would go with as a 'mature' chick.

My avatar which was just me messing around one night before going clubbing might be along those lines. Thats not my current normal look these days. I luv elegant southern ladies would be fun to be one! Trick would be to save up enough money to both be able to afford a good retirement and to have some bucks for plastic surgery. You can look great as you get older with a bit of help. My mom did it! LOL

[Deidra Cowen]

You gotta be kidding, this is rediculous

Why would you say that? I think its an interesting thread and topic. Hey getting old beats the alternative! Not going to quit CDing personally and heck once my job and family responsiblities are over ya better bet I am going to dress a bunch if not all the time!

[Sally24]

My wife has worked in Nursing Homes off and on for the last 30 years. If you still have your mental faculties than you still have all of your rights! That includes being able to drink alcohol, have sex with a consenting partner, and making your own personal choices. As long as the crossdressing was not a sexual thing then I see no barrier to your continuing it while in the home. If it is sexual I would think they would want it confined to your room or suite.

I've thought that if they managed to sneak up on me and disarm me (the only way they'll get me in a home) that I would prefer to hang out with the women. I can't imagine sitting with a bunch of old men and talk sports and cars all day long!! I would much rather hang out with the women and talk about our kids, clothing, movies, and other women.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Well, I really would expect by the time I get there (hopefully 40+ years),
that it is more commonplace for it to take place.

I hope to be 24/7 femme by then anyway and hopefully passable so I will look like every other granny thats there with my blue-rinse hair and pantsuits. :eek:

Of course, I plan on having the best lingerie drawer of any resident there :love:

[dawnmarrie1961]

Virginia-Mae, we will reserve a room for you at the lunar moon base/ nursing home 40 years in the future. You will not have "live" attendants like we those we shall enjoy. Robots will assist you in your activities of daily living. Everything will be controlled by a windows based central computer named "SOL"( Sh#t-outa -luck ).I hope you don't need to use that bathroom because, like on board the space shuttle ( I heard somebody finally fixed it.), they are currently experiencing technical difficulties and are currently out of order. Sorry about that!:devil:

There. Now we have gotten silly here.