Is this normal ?

[latitude45]

Hello again!

Some of you may remember that I recently told my wife about my crossdressing. This happened 10 days ago, and while she was freaked out at first, she has been very supportive.

Last night, out of the blue, she painted my toenails! She just left the room, and came back with the bottle of polish and said "I hope you like this colour, I think you will", then sat on the floor in front of me and began to paint away.

We laughed and hugged and had a beautiful evening.

I'm blessed if she is accepting all of this so wonderfully. Should I be concerned that something bad is around the corner? Am I just paranoid?

[Lora Olivia]

LOL I think maybe you are looking in the wrong place for asking a question of what may be normal, but I would say you have some good signs. Just let her take this at her pace and see how it goes.

Just because you may be paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you

[simoneisatg]

Hi Jerri,

There could be some bumps ahead, but it sounds like a good start. Go slow, be honest. I've found out the hard way that withholding how I feel has made things much much harder. What hurt her the most was that she lost trust in our relationship, that she was not part of the whole. I've tried hard to be inclusive, without shoving it down her throat, and she feels much better.

Good luck

[lovinmypanties]

She might be getting used to the idea of you crossdressing in her own terms, and the toenails is a great start to working her way to more things you two can do together as a couple. Good for you and enjoy your new freedom!!:)

[Christina Horton]

ok hears how I have seen it.

1. She is 100 % ok with and you live happliy ever after.

I hope you have the first one Hun. But.......

2. She was shocked , but is ok with it but her exceptence of it will not go beond the privite home.

that seems to be very common with most of the girls here.

3. She seem to except it , but down the road she begins to hates It and you cuz of the lie , or the fact that it does freak her out after she realy thinks about it.

I have hear this one all to much.

4. She hates it 100% after awhile and you break up.

Ok ok I know it's not what you want to hear about all the ways you life can get messed up. Just stay + not - , and allways by 100% truefull with her and if she does not like it, do you really want to be with her????

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

The good news is YES - it is very normal! :) If you're wife is accepting of your crossdressing AND very supportive of you as a whole, why wouldn't she offer something like this?

The bad news is that you are in fact being paranoid.

This needs to be said so that it stands out and gets properly embedded into your brain so...

STOP BEING PARANOID NOW BEFORE YOU SCREW UP A GOOD THING!

Seriously - if you go analyzing and picking apart every little thing, it is likely that you will start doing little things on a subconscious level that might begin to cause damage to the beautiful thing you've got going.

You wife loves you. She accepts you. She's showing her willingness to participate and be a part of your life - in guy-more or en femme. You had better relax and enjoy it. If you do not, your posts may soon begin to sound like those of other people who do NOT have supportive SO's. You wanna go there?

Chill, femme out, enjoy, and please give my love to your wife! I LOVE hearing about accepting wives who also choose to participate and be helpful! :)

[Angie G]

I'd say things are looking good for you girl. Just keep it SLOW.:hugs:
Angie

[TxKimberly]

I wonder if she has any idea what a deeply sweet and kind thing that was for you? Congrats. ;-)

[Danielle Gee]

STOP BEING PARANOID NOW BEFORE YOU SCREW UP A GOOD THING!

Well said Gabrielle!!! Thats exactly how my wife and I experienced it.....I confessed to my needs.....She was shocked at first, but soon mulled it over and decided that I was worthy enough to put up with this one little issue. As time passed she slowly embraced my "Danielle" persona and fineally accepted her completely.

Me on the other hand, went on a one way trip to LaLa Land!!!. I was unable to accept that she accepted me so completely. Every minor spat became a reason for me to tell her that I didn't believe that she "REALLY" accepted Danielle. We went thru several years of pure Hell 10 or 15 years ago sorting this issue out.

The breaking point occured when, during an argument; I accused her of not loving my female side. To which she retorted "Right now I love Danielle a lot more than your male side.....Maybe he could take a few lessons from her"

We both laughed,then both cried.....And things began getting better after that.

So, take Gabrielle's advice and quit acting like a guy!!!

Good Luck :Danielle:love:

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Well said Gabrielle!!! Thats exactly how my wife and I experienced it....

...The breaking point occured when, during an argument; I accused her of not loving my female side. To which she retorted "Right now I love Danielle a lot more than your male side.....Maybe he could take a few lessons from her"...

...So, take Gabrielle's advice and quit acting like a guy!!

Thanks, Danielle. :)

See? Gabrielle knows what she's talking about. :) But don't take my word for it. Danielle Gee's exact account of what I was warning is a perfect example. Listen to the wisdom gained by Danielle's experience, and by all means, enjoy what you've got! :)

[karynspanties]

Who care if it's "normal"? Your lucky to have a wife that is so accepting so soon after you told her. Just embrace it and don't push things too fast. Let her adjust.....go at her pace.

[Samantha43]

Your wife is awesome!

My advice is to take it slow so she has a chance to get used to the idea. Always be the man she married. Talk with her and find out where her boundries are, and don't step over them. The boundries may change over time, but don't force the issue. It's a big thing to accept, and it sounds like she is on her way to accepting it.

You are very lucky to have a wife like her. Make sure she knows how you feel!

[Rachel Morley]

Last night, out of the blue, she painted my toenails! ..... We laughed and hugged and had a beautiful evening.
How can laughing, hugging and having a beautiful evening not be anything but normal? When my wife first started doing femme things to me I couldn't quite believe it, I didn't think it would last, yet I've gotten even more feminine and my wife says that it's brought us closer together as doing fun things together with makeup and nail polish (like what happened with your wife) is a loving bonding thing to do together ... kinda like having a foot massage, it's intimate, having your wife apply makeup to your face is also intimate IMHO.


STOP BEING PARANOID NOW BEFORE YOU SCREW UP A GOOD THING!
Gabrielle is right, don't screw this up, just go with it and enjoy the attention and also give your wife the same level of attention back. Offer to do her toenails or give her a foot massage or whatever. Use this to get closer to your wife and above all look into her eyes and tell her how special she is and how much this means to you to be able to share this kind of thing with her. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

If you don't want to be thrown overboard.

Don't rock the boat!!!

[Sandra]

She's starting small lol, seriously it's most likely her way of starting to help you and it's probably helping her more as well. The good thing is that you both had fun. Don't analyze everything she does, just keep going at her pace.

[Nikki A.]

Listen, she loves you, but it is a big shock to the status quo. take it slow, let things proceed at a pace that she is comfortable. The biggest fear most wives or SOs have is losing the man that they know and all of a sudden having someone that they don't know taking their place.
So take it easy, talk and show her that you are still you.
Best of luck and be patient

[Andy66]

Aw, that was sweet. Some of us react badly to new things at first, but gradually get curious and even get to like the idea once we've had a good long while to learn and think. If the Missus was upset about your crossdressing at first, it doesn't mean she will always feel that way.

[Gerard]

I wonder if she has any idea what a deeply sweet and kind thing that was for you? Congrats. ;-)

I'm guessing she did.

I think the OP has a very nice and loving wife. I hope you can both enjoy your relationship, it sounds like you do.

Don't be paranoid, just let her determine the pace.

I love the idea of offering to do her toe nails next, make sure it's not a one way street.

[Jaclyn NM]

None of us ever know what's going to happen down the road, so if I were you, I would enjoy the moment, and not worry about what comes next.

[Valerie]

Yes, you are being paranoid... but I do understand. One is expecting rejection and finds a welcoming and loving partner. What Danielle wrote reminded me of how I was taken aback when my SO told me she much prefered Valerie to my male pretended self, which she found dominant, arrogant, and cold. Well... I was jealous of Valerie, until I remembered I was her!

Love, love, love, and trust.

Valerie

[madison lee]

People say i'm paranoid but the voices told me that I AM NOT paranoid!

[LindaMarie]

It sounds like your wife is trying to be supportive. That's a wonderful gift. Please show her that you appreciate her being understanding.

I'd like to echo the advice from several other posters: take things slowly. When I first told my wife about my crossdressing, she tried to be understanding. I think because I was so relieved that she was understanding and I was finally able to share this hidden part of myself, I went kind of overboard. I took every opportunity I could to dress. As you might expect, my behavior really made my wife nervous. It totally turned her off to my crossdressing. I wish I could have that time back again. I would have taken things more slowly and let her set the pace.

Best of luck to both of you. It sounds like you're off to a very good start.

[Mya Summers]

well that sounds great and congrats. I think it might just be that you are paranoid, which is normal in my book. It sounds like she has accepted it better than some SO's have taken. Just make sure that you show her a lot of attention as well, like one evening pamper her and paint her toenails and fingernails, she will be thrilled to death :D

[dawnmarrie1961]

Jerri, I'm not going to make reference to my own experience because every relationship is different in its complexity.
Open lines of communication are important .

Keep yourself tuned to her frequency and be a good listener.

Know when to to say "enough" this is as far as I'm willing to take it.

Never assume anything.

Take Nothing for granted.

And, by all means, show her how much you love her every moment of every day!

[lovelysu]

Here is a lady who loves you so much, that she has thought about it and has attempted to whole heartedly accept you. Among all the other sweet nothings, she feels she can add doing things to your feminine side as well.. Such women are hard to find.. god bless both of you :) all the best :)

N oh, stop fearing.. there is nothing to be paranoid about :) the more mature (no pun intended) ladies have given you just the right advice !!

[Melissa Rose]

Enjoy it and love her for it. Take it as a sweet gesture and act of love, and not some setup. Return the favor and paint her toenails. Having a lover paint my toenails would be so sexy and hot. Whew.

[Satrana]

It is early days so don't get too excited about it. This is a deliberate attempt on her part to show that she is supportive after probably saying some not so nice things to you earlier. This is about her exploring her feelings about accepting your femininity. She is gauging her feelings seeing you with painted nails. Don't go girly over it, she still needs to be reassured that you are still exactly the same person whether your nails are painted or not.

[erickka]

Jerri, I think you are off to a good start, but by all means, keep the lines of communication OPEN and HONEST. If you let her lead, it will me more on her terms, and she'll most assuredly tell you when enough is enough. Hopefully the latter will never be. Good luck! Erickka