Questions

[Teri Jean]

This morning as I was visiting this portion of the forum I had a series of questions that popped into my head. Partly do to a conversation with a gg co-worker the other day and mainly because I have been struggling with many for so long.

!) How many have semi-transitioned (meaning HRT and implants)?
2) Did your Dr. help in the process of referrals and understanding?
3) How did your family take the news?
4) Are you satisfied with that or do you feel the need to progress?

I have always had the feeling I would have been happier being a girl and have dealt with CDing on and off but the need to wake up as a girl has consummed my life for the past two years. I go to work as a male and when I get home the female side of me takes over to the point where I cannot stop this desires. I have a wonderful GG co-worker that I care for and told her about my desires to which she was supportive. She asked the same questions I have been asking myself for months. Sexual drive, work place tolerence, tolerence with in the social circles I'm in, and of course how far am I going to take this?
A nephew of mine said it the best, I have been a great father, giving everything to see that my daughters have everything they needed within financially possible. Support to my kids has been so paramount that things many have or want were put aside. When my wife passed in an auto accident the need to move forward with first the CDing took center stage but as of late there seems to be more that I want and cannot seem to get it out of my mind.
I know I'm rambling here but I seem so lost as to where to turn from this point on. Couple this with the fact I'm 60 it seems I shoul put this behind me and be happy with CDing from this point on but there is a hollow feeliung I'm cheating myself.

Thank you for listening, Teri :hugs::love:

[Veronica_Jean]

Teri,

I can identify with a lot of what you have written. I lost my wife in 2005 to health issues and I was unable to and unwilling to not move forward. That is not to say that it has been quick or without a lot of questioning, self doubt, fear, and all those other issues we face.

I have only begun down the road of transition so I cannot address some of your questions. Yet we have a lot in common with your explanation.

I am currently not living full time, but I have begun living as a female on weekends and I am in therapy. I have come out to my family, children, and have approval to start HRT (which I hope to get going next weekend).

I am 54 soon, and often wonder if I should just not do this at all. However, I know in my heart, I am a woman and that is the direction I need to follow, even if I passed away tomorrow. I waited because my wife knew and was willing to try and live with me as a woman, but she was not a lesbian and I honestly do not know if it would have worked.

I suppose you could say I went through the CD stage, but I was always wondering if it was just a phase or how would it feel to live that way forever. I eventually decided to see how it would feel to simply live that way and tried to understand the difference. I would dress casual, dressy, sexy, etc. to express my feelings, rather than to try and emulate what I thought was feminine as I tended to when I would dress in the past. I found that I was comfortable with using clothes to express my emotions, and I would see other women in jeans, slacks, cute tops, tees, and such and decided that real women are not dressed for a formal ball most of the time, so why should I?

After that, family, wife's health, etc. took over my life for about a decade. I don't regret that time for a moment. But now it is my time and I am going to follow where I need to go. I see boobs and a vagina in my future, unless the doctors or finances say otherwise. In any case it does not change that I am a woman and will live the rest of my days as one to the best of my ability.

To address your questions:

I sought out a therapist on my own that is a gender specialist.

My family doctor knows and is also treating a couple of other trans patients. She has no issues with me, and already had a mammogram for me to establish a baseline and make sure my growth was not tumorous.

I intend to "grow my own" but would not hesitate to use the doctors for a bit more if I need it and can afford it.

I have three daughters 30, 24, and 16. They are extremely supportive (I got two tops and a skirt for Father's Day). As for the rest, either they are also passed on, or I don't care what they think or if they know.

I have not found my level of satisfaction. Then again, I still live my work life as a man so I man not yet there.

As I know others will echo, we all have to find our own level of comfort and only you know what that means.

hugs,

Veronica

[Teri Jean]

Veronica, thank you for responding to my post. I feel there is so much more before me but I'm looking at doing this with the Dr.s and if I cannot for good reasons I will accept it and continue to CD. I too have two children, 32 and 35 yrs with one grandson 5 yrs.

I would like to "grow" my own breasts but that may have to be augmented. There are so many questions and issues to deal with but like you it's my time to be more fulfilled and whole. I love being a dad for 35yrs but the desire to live as a woman has been surpressed for a long time.

Thank you again and I wish you success in your journey. Huggs

Teri

[kellycan27]

I am actually quite happy with my results to date. I have been living as a woman 24/7 for about 4 years,on HRT for close to 2 years, and have had my implants for 2 years. My parents hated it! My GP referred me to a therapist, and was quite supportive. I found my own doctor for hrt and had my implants done in thailand.
Kel

My implants were 34B, and I said I have been on hormones for 2 years. I am now 34C cup, a full C. Feel free to PM me if you want to know anything else.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Im happy with my transition so far and I'm on hormones and it has been great so far.

[MJ]

!) How many have semi-transitioned (meaning HRT and implants)?

well i went throught the hrt route

2) Did your Dr. help in the process of referrals and understanding?

my doctor is amazing and very understanding

3) How did your family take the news?

My Family are not happy i have been disowned

4) Are you satisfied with that or do you feel the need to progress?

i would like to have some ffs and i would love to get implants. my srs surgery is in 4 weeks if i could afford it all i would have it all

[Eileen]

Teri we all are filled with questions. Some much easier to answer than others. You age, if you are in good health, should not be an issue. Two years ago I was planning to live the rest of my live as a woman without surgery or hrt. Earlier this year I had breats implants at 68. I thought implants and perhaps an orchidectomy would be all that I would need. After the implants, I knew I needed to complete the process and in April I had my vaginalplasty. Both were done after therapy and letters to Dr. Meltzer recomending the surgery. I have been very lucky and most have been very understanding and supportive of my decision. All the best as you explore the new pathes ahead of you. You seem to be going through much the same emotions I found myself facing after Edwina passed almost three years ago.

Eileen

[Kaitlyn Michele]

It's your life....you have to decide....your idea's are completely and totally reasonable...because they are yours!!

All those obstacles you have are real. So is your likely transsexual nature....Juggernaut, meet brick wall....and the older and more entrenched as a male you are, the bigger and stronger the brick wall is (sorry, i love analogies)...

For most folks that I know that have gone through this...most have transitioned but some have not....many will tell you that the hardest part was "deciding" and "being sure"....

I am a big fan of just starting the process of transition with therapy and HRT, delaying hair removal is one of the biggest mistakes that TS folks make....

you don't have to tell anyone or make any commitment, and you can judge for yourself how you feel and you can decide if you want to smash that wall...

btw....my tipping point was realizing that i was going to grow into a bitter old man if i didnt do something about my condition....it crystallized all my suffering into action

All the best, everybody here cares and wants to listen to you so keep talking!!

Michele

[BreenaDion]

Gee wiz seams im different. Im trasitioning after the anti-depressent left my head. Im acting , thinking, processing more like a female all the time an no hormones yet. so I guess im the odd ball LOL . soon to see an endcrologist an get me on hormoes. got team members in place an behind me. From total male cd to transgender in a few months. .... like go figure but im elated about it.
Have fun an enjoy ur day Love Bree :love:

[noeleena]

Hi....As a andro . it was never a mater of changing from male over to female ... as many here & else where are . like you say yes i did work like many .. in the building trade . then home shower then in to female clothes . i only started that 11 years ago . i.m allmost 62 . i did not see my self as a male or just a female . its allways been both or nether .. i told Jos after being maried 26 years . i was / am a woman ... we are still together in a sense of just two women . marrige anuuld .. h r t ..s r s .. & b a .. i am much better as a woman oh thats my thinking .... he he giggle ....
I am a all out woman .. i had help from our endo . for h r t .. then 3 years later . a letter for s r s & & one from our psych no probs what ever . no talking about .. am i sure i.m a trans . just your are on your way . they accepted what i told them . no if.s or but.s ... get going . so . then they helped .
i am highly delited with all that was done for me .... oh yes . you will never know how much ..i AM FREE. ..... to be who i should be ....... i had a lot of help from people i did not know .... i mean lots ..
Family . Jos ... has accepted i am a woman . damm hard . i can tell you . our 3 kids . 30 to 35 . we have 6 grand kids as well with one on the way .
our daughter found it hard . & over time accepts this is who i am . she has two kids . one i have with us a lot . our oldest .son with 4 kids .still hard yet is getting there .
our middle son . very very hard . & i may lose him .. as i may never see thier grand child . due in march coming . i am accepted in the main as a woman .. 11 years getting there . in a nut shell 50 years trying to be a male . who was / is a woman ... now i am. i just have it all to gether now ... no trying no pretence no. not knowing .
really just that other woman who is. OUT. .. & never ..going back ..........
...noeleena...

[Lisa Golightly]

1. HRT for two years... Not at all interested in implants.
2. All very British stiff upper lip and nicely mechanical.
3. My family reacted as if I was a mass murderer... They still give me grief on a cyclical tag team basis.
4. The only thing that really really pisses me off is people who judge my life and have no comprehension about what I've gone through... If anything they need a slap up the side of the head and maybe then I'd feel I'd progressed way beyond where I am.

[pamela_a]

Teri, my story is also very similar to yours.

!) How many have semi-transitioned (meaning HRT and implants)?
I'm not sure I would use the term semi-transitoned, unless you are describing fully transitioned as only those who have undergone SRS. I've just started HRT and I've always had breasts (currently C to D cup before estrogen) so no implants for this girl. I've been presenting androgyneous to female full time for several years now and I'm in the process of coming out as Pam at work.

2) Did your Dr. help in the process of referrals and understanding?
I don't think I would be anywhere near this far without my doctors, especially my therapist.

3) How did your family take the news?
Despite dressing full time it was still quite a shock. My wife is dealing with it as well as she can considering. I recently sent my daughter (32) a letter attempting to explain what was happening. She called me the next day and told me that I could never get rid of her that easy, she's alway be my little girl. My 17 year old son on the other hand is having a much more difficult time. I've tried to talk with him several times but he won't even talk about it.

4) Are you satisfied with that or do you feel the need to progress?
I recently started the process of transitioning at work. Unless the funds become available I won't be having FFS or SRS but I would if it were possible.

The road is not an easy on Teri and for all of the pain and trouble that may be ahead I have to continue to forge on because I need to do it for me. Where how far you go is entirely in your hands. I hope you find your place of peace soon.

-Pam-

[sheridan]

A lot of really great info here. As far as I am concerned I made the decision to transition just a fe months ago and although I am not yet on HRT I do hope to get started fairly soon. I know that I have spent some time working on changing my body type in the mean time, losing muscle mass mainly. Personally I dont plan on going to a psychologist as I dont believe I need someone to evaluate how I feel (especially at $100 an hour every week for a year) I know a endocrenologist in L.A. that does HRT with out a reccomendation letter (yes hes safe,certified,respected...) As far as my family, I told my mom and best friend. My best friend and his wife were very supportive, my mon just wanted to be sure that I was sure and she supports me, as a matter of fact I moved in with her just recently because she knew I would need support. She told my sister and brother (which she admits was a mistake) as my brother just thinkssomething is wrong with me and likes to crack jokes which I just ignore, my sister told her husband and he dosent want me to be anywhere near his kids they both think I am a freak. But to be honest I dont care what they think because I didnt tell them so their thoughts/feelings dont matter to me any more than the thoughts of a stranger would. It hurts that they sort of punish my mom for her involvement in supporting me. Personally I most likely wont undergo any SRS but I do plan on getting implants if needed. One cool thing is that my mom is a RN and does cosmetic surgery, hair removal and other things so maybe I can get a discount when the time comes.