Who is more sympathetic to crossdressers?

[emmicd]

Who do you think is more sympathetic to crossdressers?

guys or girls?

When in guy mode have you ever seen a tg/cd in a social setting?

If you have what is your first thought or impression since you can relate being a cd/tg as well.

When in guy mode do you feel empathy towards the tg/cd?

Emmi

[StephanieCD]

I used to live with (and partied with) a pre-op TS. No one knew I was a CD at the time so I got to see her in social settings and how she was received and stuff...

Ya know - if you got the attitude and you own it like you've grown it - nobody f***s with you. Everyone accepted her - she was what she was from the second you first saw her (sorry but it was obvious) to the minute she left screaming in the parking lot. Everyone would just say "gotta love W..."

I admired her.

[jo_ann]

actually I hate to admit it, but as far as perfect strangers go... girls are more mean. when I was in chicago with other CD'rs, the girls were all hootering and hollering, basically thinking we were either silly, or with an attitude "you think you look like a woman? please, your ugly".. while eating, a couple guys came up to say hi, were really nice.. I think MOST guys don't even want to be confrontational with this subject.. Now if it's with friends, girls are really nice, and guy friends think your either gay or retarded.

[StephanieCD]

actually I hate to admit it, but as far as perfect strangers go... girls are more mean. when I was in chicago with other CD'rs, the girls were all hootering and hollering, basically thinking we were either silly, or with an attitude "you think you look like a woman? please, your ugly".. while eating, a couple guys came up to say hi, were really nice.. I think MOST guys don't even want to be confrontational with this subject.. Now if it's with friends, girls are really nice, and guy friends think your either gay or retarded.


Wow, interesting. I wouldn'y have guessed that.

[ChristineRenee]

I have never met another CD or TG in a social setting. When I was working in sales selling men's suits for a large department store chain, I've seen some CD's shopping in the women's department and thought to myself that I hoped they were treated well and with respect by my fellow sales associates. Obviously because of who I am...I am very empathetic to how CD's and TG's are treated in public. Closest actual experience I have had in sales was with a lesbian couple who came in my department one day looking for men's sport coats in their size. I was very friendly and helpful to them...spent a lot of time helping them find their size, etc. I ended up selling them each a sports jacket and it was a very enjoyable experience for all of us. I know that they appreciated the level of service and the friendliness and I got a lot of satisfaction knowing not only that I made a sale, but that I made these girls feel very comfortable with the experience. It's not only good business...but good human relations as well....something all of us I think would appreciate more of in our shopping experiences.;)

To actually answer the thread's question...from my own experience...I would have to say women are generally more sympathetic.

[Sharon]

I have found women to be much more understanding.

[Stormgirl]

girls are evil :mad:

[Tristen Cox]

Who do you think is more sympathetic to crossdressers?
guys or girls?

I would say from what I have heard and my experience in RL, gay men

When in guy mode have you ever seen a tg/cd in a social setting?
No

When in guy mode do you feel empathy towards the tg/cd?
Empathy? I feel more comfortable knowing they are like us here if that makes any sense.

[staceycase]

i would think that men who are interested in crossdresser's would be the most intererested and sympathetic to the feelings and desires of crossdresser's.
but you would think that women would be more interested in what, at least i personally view as expressing more of my personality. their personality. given that we are trying to adapt to their lifestyle.
in guy mode i remember seing seeing a tg early in my life. when i was 15 or so.
i was with the son of a pentecost minister, and i am sure that fact could make a fine top 40 hit or maybe at least a sermon someday.
but i do remember being shocked, that is shocked and jarred out of what should be normal thoughts for boys our age: i guess intolerance followed by quick judgment. when we saw an obvious man dresed in all women's clothes getting out of a car in front of my friends's father's church. we thought: this is not a girl. at least as we have been prepard to expect a girl.
we had just saw this, apparent, man get out of her car and ask us questions. in drag. which we replied with teenage ignorance bordering on this reply: stop asking us questions and get the hell out of here so we can talk about you already
i can only asume that this girl was looking for a religious answer to her questions of sexuality.
anyway this is the first time i had to lie about my sexuality. had to pretend in front of my friend that i had viewed this as strangely as he had, and not admit that i did not see this badly made up man uncomfortably getting away from his taurus and thought of myself.
so i told my friend that that was strange, what we had seen, although what was clear in my memory was my trips to my mother's closet.
and my trying on everything soft and everything silky in her collection.
i really tried everything in my mother's wardrobe. when my parents were away it was my mother's silky sexy drawer that i put on and tried to understand what was a women's place in the world.
it was hard to pretend to my friend that i didn't understand this strange visitor trying to be a woman. but i remember standing there at fifteen understanding that this strange visitor was trying to be a woman.
and now that i am 33 i certainly understand why i stood in front of the mirror in my mother's panties and bra at 13. i did because it felt pleasant at that time to enjoy the home alone in my more natural personality. fully expressed. now of course i like to stand in front of my own mirror in my own panties and my own bra.
because it feels pleasant. expressing my full personality.
especially knowing that i stood in line and paid for these panties like any other woman.

[emmicd]

Stacey,

That was quite an interesting story you shared about your experience of seeing a transgendered individual and confronting your own personal feelings and your desires for crossdressing. I can relate to you in how you feel in dressing in your own bra and panties. It is a great feeling and I also started our trying on my mother's bras and panties too. I started crossdressing when I was 5 trying on my sisters clothes.

I feel that all people can grow to learn to understand us crossdressers and transgendered if they can get past the ignorance and just realize that we all are people and we all are unique.

Personally I feel that tolerance and understanding are essential in all walks of life and hope someday that we don't have to live in a closed off and styfling manner just because we are a little different than the norm.

Even knowing we are slightly different we still pretend and are fearful to admit to ourselves that we are crossdressers. We are taught to respect others but get mixed messages based on societal pressures.

Therefore we sometimes struggle to achieve true peace and happiness because we are forced to live in the shadows and forced to repress our desires when we really should embrace our true feelings and accept ourselves.

One thing my parents taught me growing up is that before we can accept someone else we must first accept ourself.

To answer my own question I feel very sympathetic to cd/tg/ts and can draw from my own crossdressing experiences. I also feel that to most people crossdressing is something that's not considered a normal thing and is something that should be dicouraged. However to me and many other girls here who are indeed "real" crossdressers I feel it is a distinct part of their makeup as a person. It is not something one chooses to do on their own on a whim. It is something that comes from within. The person described in Stacey's essay was a transgendered person seeking help yet struggled for both acceptance and self actualization.

They have courage though to try their best to live and find their own peace in the world.

Emmi

[Julie]

Who do you think is more sympathetic to crossdressers?

To be honest I think there's intolerance in both sexes and I feel things would be more equal than one thinks

guys or girls?

See above

When in guy mode have you ever seen a tg/cd in a social setting?

Yes

If you have what is your first thought or impression since you can relate being a cd/tg as well.

Went over to them and complimented them leaving the company I was with to get on with things themselves.

When in guy mode do you feel empathy towards the tg/cd?

See answer to last question where I was in drabs

Julie

[stephanie_cd]

Dear emmi its me again hi
i don't really understand how to switch to boy mode . for me being in boy mode is only the appearance on the outside since the mind is female i can't switch to a boy mode and its the mind that counts (hence my logo a Genuine GG). As with regard to seing other transgenders i always admire them for the courage and steps they took for being what they wanted to be. Of course all CDs are not the same (which i just learned from this site) if you just enjoy and only enjoy wearing female clothing of course you can switch minds . i am sure most GGs agree with me on this.
on the question of who is sympathetic to our cause for me its both sexes its not really depends whether you are a man or a woman but it depends whether you are openminded and educated to understand its the will of GOD and if you don't beleive in one, its NATURE, Mother Nature
luv stephaniex.
ps keep in touch emmi

[Wendy me]

i would rather deal with women then guys....that whole way of guy thinking if i don't get or if i feel thretened way of thinking matcho thingy i can pass on...women while some can be just a bit out there ...are for the most part better at looking at the big pitchure....

[Melissa A.]

While I think women on the whole are more accepting and sympathetic of crossdressers than men, that is a generalization. It's probably statistically true, but why? Well, for one thing, women (as a whole, again) are more empathetic, nurturing and open minded, mostly because their heads are not polluted with the need to hide behind a macho veneer. And some women(but certainly not the majority) may feel a kinship with men who have feminine tendencies. Men, on the other hand, have the macho crutch most are socialized to carry around, and also, if they are not a cd, gay, or otherwise effeminate, there is nothing about a MtoF crossdresser that they can relate to.

There are other dynamics here, as well. Many women who have no problems with men who crossdress in general, and consider themselves open minded on such matters, may feel much differently when crossdressing hits close to home, in the form of a close friend or signifigant other. I would say the same is true of many parents, moms and Dads both, who may feel uncomfortable with the issue when it is their own kid, or worry about their child's happiness or safety.

My first wife is a pretty tolerant, intelligent woman. She never asked me ignorant questions, like, "are you gay?". But she made it clear that she did not want a practicing crossdresser for a husband. But, she does't think cds are freaks or perverts. So within the umbrella of "sympathetic", I think there are alot of degrees of feeling.

What Jo_ann experienced, while unfortunate, may be the result of group or mob mentality. People in groups, especially young people, may feel pressure to react as they feel their peers expect them to, like jerks, basically. I would daresay that many of us, even, have given in to that pressure in our younger years.

If I were accepted as Melissa by everyone with open arms, I feel I could interact that way with either gender, but would probably feel most comfortable around women, especially when it comes to people I already know. With strangers, I don't think it really matters. The one time I have been out to a bar dressed, I had just as much fun talking to men as women. This was a gay establishment, so not representative of the rest of the population.

The only times I have seen transgendered people in public, I have been with groups who have not known about me. One of those times, I did speak to the person for a while(at a hotel bar) and told her that I admired her courage. The people I was with were surprisigly(to me, at the time) tolerant. At least that time. Even when younger, I would never have openly ridiculed a tg person, though I may have, long ago, laughed at a joke or two. I would never do that today. I feel nothing but empathy and admiration towards those who have the courage to be who they are.

None of my observations are backed up by scientific evidence or statistics. Just my opinions, for what they're worth.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Melissa A.]

Empathy- An understanding so intimate that the feelings, thoughts and motives of one are readily comprehended by another.

That is the official definition. I see it as the ability to really feel what another is feeling. To be able to say, "I understand", and really mean it. It is actually pretty rare, and depends on the situation. Also, some people are naturally better at feeling empathy than others.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Kimberly]

Who do you think is more sympathetic to crossdressers?

guys or girls?

girls.... in my experience. Hypathetically, if I told most of my male friends none of them would completely freak, but they wouldn't really like me any MORE than they do now. With the girls I've told, most of them want to help me and get involved.

When in guy mode have you ever seen a tg/cd in a social setting?

No... I thought I saw on old person who was balding but had breasts. Couldn't really tell what gender they were, coz of their clothes. So I left it at that...

When in guy mode do you feel empathy towards the tg/cd?

Definatly!! But I know how I would feel going out in their position: I'd just want people to treat me normal, so I wouldn't go up to them and make a fuss that we're both CDers... I'd just be nice if the situation arose where I would talk to them.

[okanaganheather GG]

I have found women to be more snap to judge and to be threatened by the existence of the Cd world. Not sure about the male persective, in that I have really known precious few males that were willing to have a discussion about this except in an intellectual capacity.

Like, somehow you lovely creatures could remove our GG beauty.
Insecurity is a very, very strange creature!

Injustice/judgment like this is ignorance in its purest form; and that type of fear is to be pitied.


Hugs to each of you brave ladies!!! :thumbsup:

[kathy gg]

HI Emmi,

Good question and very interesting posts to answer so far. Wow there are more sympathetic men out there than I knew. But I will agree with the one gal who said since men are horny they are going wht they need to do to get what they want. But I wonder how many would be willing to take a tg home to meet their family and introduce their girl to their freinds? Brave and truly sympathetic then is that man.

So... to answer these questions....


Who do you think is more sympathetic to crossdressers?

guys or girls?


Well I personally find women mostly to be sypathetic. Again, this asnwer will vary if this hits home (ie, it is ones husband or child). Then the issue is more difficult to understand. Only religious right thinking women or women who also have problems with gays I think would not be open to freindships or compassion with tged men.

Guys, again, unless they are admirers are usually threatened by anything that challenges notions of masculinity. Also sympathy is not a feeling many non-cding men tend to dole out to people generally. ALso if a man is too kind to a cd that fear of being assoicated with one might rub off on him. And then what would his freinds think, or co-workers, or you get the point. Many men freak out if they think anyone thinks of them in any other light... they dont want to tarnish that mr. macho tough guy thing.

When in guy mode have you ever seen a tg/cd in a social setting?

I think a better way to ask this quesiton is..in a non -crossdressing social situation have you encountered tg's?

So to that I will say yes I have seen planty of tged people out in regular settings. I always dont' give a second look, but I do find strangers will take many looks or point or stare or just overall giggle. Even if the person seems what many might call passable.

If you have what is your first thought or impression since you can relate being a cd/tg as well.

My first thought becuase I am married to a cd...is "you go girl!". Espically if they are in a mall in the light of day or heading into the ladies change room. It is not easy for even the most passable of cd's to come here to the surburbs and try to pull it off. That is not something even my hubby would care to do. I have seen cd's at the bank doing their checking, at the mall shopping, and walking down the main street of our surburban downtown area. And heaven help that poor gal I saw downtown on several occasions as her poor wig looked like a birds nest.

When in guy mode do you feel empathy towards the tg/cd?

For me....as a gg...do I feel empathy. Absolutely.

Well that is my .02
hugs
kathy in canada
Emmi

[heathr1]

understanding.

I never, ever buy my femme things from men.

Not because of a bad experience. I'd just prefer to buy from women.