For the semi-femme dressers, what are your worry points?

[Nicole Erin]

Some of us who dress partially femme on a regular basis... This is about our confidence strong and weak points when wearing femme stuff.

Daily appearance -
Me, I always have a feminine looking tee [no straight man would touch my shirts], shorts shorter than any male ones, sometimes wear tan hose [yeah yeah faux-pas whatever.], purple earring studs, thin eyebrows, shave legs, woman watch, clean shave all the time Kind of girly looking socks, andro tennies. Hair is kind of femme.

So all of those things - none of it bothers me. There are things however, I would feel nervous doing in public in "male mode" [like I have much of one left] Just cause I would be too sefl-aware.

- having painted toenails showing.
- having painted fingernails
- wearing high heel sandals
- wearing a skirt

Kind of weird maybe, I have no problems with feminine top and shorts, purple studs, but if my nails are painted or other "nervous " stuff, I think too much on it.

whast are yours?

[Kimmy55]

Skirt and high heeled sandals I guess would scrae me a little.Painted toe nails and fingernails,no problem

[Deedee Dupree]

Hi Nicole, Worry points depend on which part of the US in am in. Where I am now I won't "bend" at all and would carry a pistol in my purse if I went out. In the Big Apple during summertime, I sometimes go as far as you have mentioned except for a skirt & HH sandals. I will wear clear or light polish on my nails w/flat or low wedge heel sandals... Interestingly in NY the odd one out is a guy who does not shave his legs...at least partially. Hairy gorilla legs draws attention.

[Lainie]

femme top but not a skirt sounds like you're ok with being thought gay, but afraid of being laughed at or abused as a CD. That seems consistent with standard modern social views, at least in urban America.
For me, the defining article is a purse. If I can use a backpack, then I can pass for a guy even in unisex women's clothes. But a purse is over the line.
Of course when I intend to go out as a (part-time) girl, I really must wear a skirt or dress with the purse just to make an exclamation point.

[Persephone]

I wander around all the time in femme t-shirts and tops, and women's pants and shorts. I almost always carry a purse, I have long hair, shaped eyebrows, and long acrylic nails.

I'm called "Ma'm" more often than I'm called "Sir," and, interestingly enough, that's pretty true even if I'm wearing a male polo shirt and not carrying a purse.

My "line crossers" are open-toed shoes that show off my painted toenails, an obvious bustline (bra with forms), a skirt, and stilettos. Unless I'm planning to "pass" en femme, those particular items would make me very uncomfortable.

Kinda weird and quirky I guess, but that's my list.

[Brina Halloween]

Interesting question. I wear ladies jeans much more than ordinary drab ones. If going shopping by myself, I am as likely to wear 3" open toed wedges as anything else with jeans.

Purse, make-up and polish would be crossing the line for me. Dangling earrings too but, think about doing that anyway :daydreaming:.

I definitely want to attend a cosplay convention to see what the limits iof that environment are but, going to be on vacation when one happens near me.

Brina

[nancyish]

Dear Nicole,I'm always wearing ladies clothes but i don't care to pass as a women.I find enough satisfaction wearing plain women's clothing.Yes i do get looks sometimes but often times people can't tell.Nancy

[jeanine38]

This is an interesting thread.

I think it's intruguing as to why a design changes the perceived "acceptable gender" of a piece of clothing. This is frustrating on so many levels.

For example-
- High heels on cowboy boots is "male" but on any other shoe "female"
- Move sleeve two inches up on your arm, and it's a "woman's" shirt
- A large bag is a messenger bag, but shrink it slightly and it's a purse


As an engineer, I think about these things. As a CD, it irritates me!!!

[Phyliss]

Let's see:
1. carry a purse, ... I do that
2. wear makeup, ... I do that
3. small forms , ... I do that sometimes, usually just a bra
4. shorts, yep , ... just not too short
5. I don't think I own anymore boy clothes.
6. sandals that show off my painted toes, ... I do that
7. acrylic finger nails done in "Fair Dinkum Pink" by OPI do that always
8. wear a skirt, sometimes, just for fun, not always



The "deal breaker" would be wearing my wig without decent makeup. That and wearing heels and not a skirt

[Frédérique]

Kind of weird maybe, I have no problems with feminine top and shorts, purple studs, but if my nails are painted or other "nervous " stuff, I think too much on it.

Oh, I like it when my painted fingernails or toenails are showing – it’s just a little “marker” that lets people know where they stand. “I am a tranny, thank you – may I have my receipt, please?”

I was at the local City Hall one day, not too long ago, to pay my utilities bill. Another person was in front of me doing the same. This person was wearing a very androgynous outfit, kind of a white gauze top with matching cropped pants and a floppy hat (also white gauze). I really couldn’t tell if this person was a man or a woman, which, to me, was extremely interesting! Anyway, when this fascinating human was done and left the building, the woman behind the counter looked at me with a horrified expression that seemed to say “Get a stick and kill it!” Shortly afterwards, she saw my painted fingernails…


Worry points depend on which part of the US in am in.

I was on the road in Western Indiana a couple of years ago, and I stopped at a convenience store along I-70 for some coffee. I could tell by the plethora of pickups, semis, feed caps and “Welcome Hunters” signs that I should change my clothes before I entered the store. Call it a spot decision. I changed and went inside, and soon everyone in the store was giving me funny looks. When I got back to my Jeep I realized I hadn’t removed my beret, which was pinned to my hair at a feminine angle…

[Rachel Morley]

I like threads like this. Interesting question. :thinking: I too also like to present as a feminine male and wonder if (un-educated) people think I'm gay. What is too femme for me in my "girly-boy mode"?

Well, I can't get the courage up to wear a skirt yet, nor heels. I also chicken out of carrying a purse (although I'm mentally working on that one). I'm ok with both painted fingernails and toenails showing, although my fingernails are usually a light color or French. I wear obvious eye makeup, so I guess it's a skirt, heels, and a purse that are my Achilles heels. :)

[CharleneT]

Hmm... well I think "worry points" would be the 4 dead give aways: skirts, dresses, high heeled shoes and obvious makeup (lipstick for example). I wear women's clothing pretty much 24/7, the above four less often during the day is all. But then again most GG's here don't wear them during the day either.

If I am wearing anything but those items I "pass" as a guy easily :)

[msjessgill]

My worry points would be and I dont know why but high heel sandals would be a problem.

[Alice B]

While I do not have a problem with it, my wife gets a little upset if I'm wearing sandals that show my painted toe nails or wear ear rings that are a bit too large. mY legs are always shaved and I wear panties 7/24 and no problems with this.

[shannonsilk]

fingernail polish-yes
toenail polish- yes
girl length shorts-yes, but not short shorts
small forms-yes, but not with tight tops
skirt and camisole-yes. this weekend I went into a gas station wearing a short skirt and
camisole and used the men's room. Noone else was in there.
purse-no
high heeled sandals-no

[JakobeMeredith]

I've been wearing heels, and women's tailored shirts to work the last couple days. If people have noticed they haven't said anything yet.

[softer side]

Nobody seems to care around here!
I don't venture out too often during the day and never anything too risque near home but often wear lipstick, occasionally subtle painted nails, shorts/hose with femme loafers etc. I often wear ladies boots with pants.
I'm big and bald and present as a male. I wear hoops in both ears daily, shaved legs and shorts all summer and underdress almost daily in cooler weather.

I think worry points vary by location. I wouldn't think of skirt/heels near home but I have done it a couple times out of town with no issues. It's not so much "what will they think?" but more afraid of running into someone I know. "What will they think" is slowly taking a back seat to "I don't give a crap".

***Long boring reinactment below. Don't say I didn't warn you.***

Lately I've been pushing the blend a little...
Tonight was brown plaid male shorts, shimmery crew neck tee, taupe hose, womens taupe loafers, Rimmel Powerhouse (copper/brown) polish, brown tones eyeshadow, liner, mascara and chestnut lipstick. I parked the car and walked several blocks to my favourite souvlaki stand. Ordering at the time was a couple of guys... forgive me for stereotyping but... one looked a little gayish and the other was extremely andro and would have made the perfect CD! I wondered if my appearance would have lead to any conversation (bonding? lol) while we were eating at adjascent outdoor tables but it did not. Later, went to a coffee shop... nothing.

Last night I left the house to go out of town wearing the same shorts but brought a skirt as well. I also wore a tan button down short sleeve male shirt, shimmery tan camisol exposed,taupe hose, taupe loafers, copper/brown polish and mauve tones eyeshadow, black liner, mascara and crushed plum lipstick. (skirt, heels and purse in my bag)

I went out of town and planned to do a little shopping before reaching my destination, a gay club. My intended store was about to close so I went to Walmart. Browsed the ladies section and found a sweet pair of brown capris.
I changed into the capris in the car and slid my feet into my new favourite heels. Taupe pump with oxford stiching, 2' block heel and a cute little tied bow. (I have the same pair in black too!).

I went to a coffee shop, nothing said.

Then I went to a lingerie store. I debated putting on the skirt but there a couple cars in the parking lot; I did however swap my wallet for the little brown purse. Once inside the was a couple guys shopping porn and a hot little SA. I scoured the clothes and shoes then made my way to the clearance section. Always great bargains here! I selected two corsets and two gowns and asked the SA if I could try them on. She very dryly said "sure, how many items do you have?". The last time I was here, I had a very helpful SA assist me in trying on the corset but it was not to be this time. The gowns looked tacky and one corset was too big, the other too small. I did however find a tiny little skirt that would match a corset my wife and I bought there on a previous occasion.
I left from the store and went around the corner to change into my skirt; khaki/green, above the knee. I'm new to the skirting thing in public and the last time I was at this club I wore a black pantsuit until I worked up the courage the change in the car into a black knee length skirt. I don't know if anyone thought 'hey wasn't he wearing pants earlier?' but I suspect nobody noticed. I did however get a "cute shoes" from a little cutie herself. They were my black pumps with the oxford stiching and bow. Getting off track here but, that was a missed opportunity to spark up a conversation about dressing. I just replied "thanks" but it really did make my night! Back to the story... changed into the skirt and walked to the club... full view, main street. Nothing. I went into the club and had a drink. Fairly busy but not as busy as last time. No drag queens in sight this trip, bummer. It's not for me but I can appreciate the effort involved for that over-the-top look! Last time there I commented to one "you look great! it takes me an hour to look like crap, how do you find the time?" She laughed and said she changed at the club in about 20 minutes. Oh my god. Anyway.... I enjoy people watching and club music but I was really getting bored so I left. Back down "main street" in full view!

I drove around for a little bit trying to work up the nerve to go into a coffee shop wearing my skirt. It didn't happen, I changed into the capris but I left the heels on. I went inside and waited at the counter, a lady walked out from the back and I startled her. My inclination was that it was my appearance that startled her and I laughingly said "I just want a hot chocolate". She replied "I was just out here two seconds ago, I didn't expect anyone to be standing here when I came back out". I was a little relieved but at the same time, this not getting noticed is getting really boring! Not that I'm looking for confrontation but even if someone acknowleged that I was a little out of the ordinary, it would provide some stimulation! I ordered a hot chocolate and cookie and sat in the store for about 20 minutes. Nothing.

I stopped a couple more times on the way home. After changing back into the skirt, I went through a drive through for a coffee and parked near the river. It was a beautiful night with the moon glistening off the water. I drank my coffee and had a couple smokes in full view of the busy road. Three young girls got my attention when passing cars honked at them as they walked across the bridge towards me. I was a bit anxious but they walked right past as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Last stop on the way home was for gas. A station I go to frequently. I opted for the capri's and heels and paid at the pump. Last trip I got gas at another location wearing a black skirt, hose, heels etc. I paid at the pump but I had enough nerve to go into the store to use the restroom. Just my luck, the door is locked and I had to communicate through a little window with a young female attendant while she was carrying on a conversation on her cell phone. She looked a little puzzled but nothing said and provided me with a key to the restroom.

I could go on about "nothing" but I'm even starting to bore myself.