DO your purchases reflect what you want your SO to wear?

[Daphne7]

Sometimes the idea of my hubby's CDing confuses me.

And I wonder how he can possibly be attracted to me since I am more tomboy than girly-girl. The stuff he buys to wear is girly-girl.

Is tomboyish-ness less threatening to a CD'er?

Are CDer's clothing choices unrelated to what the CDer would like their SO's style to be?

[Joanne f]

I think that it will be a mixture of reasons why a Cder picks the type of clothes that they do . some will wear what they fantasize the ideal woman would be wearing yet would hate for their wife's to go out wearing it, some will wear what they would like to see their wife's wearing, and some will wear the type of clothes that they think suit them and feel happy in .

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I'm very happily un-married. I buy clothes which I like and which I hope suit me. I'm often complimented about my dress sense.

[Melissa Rose]

I wear what I think is age appropriate and looks good on me. Unless it is subconscious, I'm not projecting or wishing my style onto someone else including a SO.

[Frédérique]

Sometimes the idea of my hubby's CDing confuses me.

And I wonder how he can possibly be attracted to me since I am more tomboy than girly-girl. The stuff he buys to wear is girly-girl.

Is tomboyish-ness less threatening to a CD'er?

Are CDer's clothing choices unrelated to what the CDer would like their SO's style to be?

I like tomboyish-ness! I don’t think it’s threatening at all*. In my case, clothing choices are related to what I would like to see women wear, but I would not project that image onto my SO. If I loved someone, I wouldn’t care what they wore…

*Check out “Jack” in the film “Pitch Black.”

[Shikyo]

What I buy, is what I want to wear. Sometimes my taste and my SO taste meet, but it's not always the case. Neither one of us accepts whatever the other wants to wear. So far there hasn't been a time where we just couldn't stand the cloths the other one was wearing and I don't think its going to happen, as we still have rather close taste in cloths.

[BarbaraAnn]

My wife has a compete opposite taste in clothing and shoes then I do. Her wardrobe consists of t-shirts and jeans. She wears the same pair of shoes for days on end and wears no make-up. I guess I do enough for the both of us. As far as the way we dress I am the wife and she is the husband. If only we could get along that way.:brolleyes:

[Stitch]

My partner has a certain style, she presents as a very elegant Gothic lady with long skirts and parasols. Now I know that she finds Gothic ladies attractive, and I also find the style very pretty, but we both know that that style totally isn't me. She also like Polka Dots patterns and I HATE Polka dots. :heehee:

For me my dressing style is an extension of my personality. I'm very optimistic and bright person. I'm also of the Tom Boy variety like yourself. I however like wearing dresses, but they never go past my knees. I find long skirts too constricting since I like to jump around a lot and short skirts to hard to move in elegantly. I wear a lot of bright and happy colours, I also make a lot of accessories which I wear. So the Gothic style is not me by a long shot.

It worried me for awhile that perhaps I didn't dress they way that she likes best. I did try for awhile to goth myself up a little... It didn't work well. I wilt if I wear lots of dark colours though, it makes me feel gloomy. Gloomy me, isn't a sexy me. Being attractive is all about confidence. It was silly of myself to try and change who I was to please my partner. I feel far more confident in my choice of clothing and that's what matters to my partner. I realised at the end of the day it didn't matter if I wore my style, as she still rushes me off the the bedroom at any given opportunity. I'm obviously on the right track. :battingeyelashes:

That being said, I do dress in one style that my partner likes and has asked me too. Silky night dresses. :daydreaming:

[SherriePall]

I am happily married and I buy clothes that suit my personality and body. Nothing too flashy or short -- although I do try to accentuate my posititives! As my wife regains her youthful figure, she is free to borrow and, in fact, a couple of months ago wore my skirt suit. I know some of my dresses are too slinky and she won't be borrowing them because she told me so a long time ago.

[Brina Halloween]

I know I am guilty. I also know that she thinks I have no taste in choosing clothing. Since it is long distance dating, I am not sure what wuill happen in the long term....probably always be in the dog-house if I shop. :D

There is nothing better than a tom-boy lady deciding to dress-up :battingeyelashes: The true girly-girl would drive me nuts eventually.

Brina

[Angelofsomekind]

That sounded exactly like my wife! She hates shopping, doesn't wear heels, not into makeup, very rarly wears skirts or dresses. Me? The exact opposite! I like shopping, love my heels, Love my makeup and would be in skirts and corsets every day if I could!

For me, I don't care if my wife wants to dress like me, I wouldn't complain if she did, but this is my style. I remember when she first found out she asked me if I had ever taken any of her clothes, I told her, "No, I have my own clothes." This is just my style and what I like. We have totally different styles and very very rarely share clothes.

[deja true]

Actually my gf (and her grown daughters) has had a great influence on what I like to wear. I like how they all dress and their casual, but sexy, boho style has rubbed off on me. The girls are somewhat tomboy-ish, but they sure don't dress like guys ... ever! :)

[Kathi Lake]

Daphne,

My wife's style is very professional. Her tastes run towards full-coverage clothing, longer skirts etc. Also, since she has had three children, her body-image has taken a bit of a hit. When a woman goes from a size 8 to a size 10, and sees her husband in a size 0, tempers flare a bit. :)

Also my tastes are a bit different than hers. I like classy, but with a little hint of sexy. I guess the best way to show it is through pictures. The outfit on the left is one of hers. The outfit on the right is one of mine. See the difference? I can and do feel comfortable in both outfits, but feel that my body type lends itself more to the shorter skirts, etc. Could my wife wear the outfit on the right? Absolutely! She wouldn't feel as comfortable though - most likely due to a life of being told that she can't possible measure up to "those girls," so why try.

Kathi


http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=83775&d=1236666229 http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=87634&d=1241217275

[Tasha McIntyre]

Oh yeah, guilty as charged :doh:.

[Dragster]

I used to enjoy wearing many of my wife's clothes (those I could get into), from way before I told her about me. In 40 years, she's put on a little weight (so have I, but not as much) and paradoxically, now that more of her clothes fit me, they have become a little too conservative for my tastes. I might wear a few of her outfits if I was out in public (I'm not, because she's anti-CD), but I still prefer to dress younger and sexier, and if I'm honest, I wish she would too. In my closet, however, I want way-out sexy, bordering on bondage too!

Tony

[Wen4cd]

I don't think it's necessarily what you want your SO to wear, as much as it is what the female archetype part of the personality wears.

Of course, what the dresser personally finds most attractive is what she's gonna wear to feel attractive.

[LACD]

My taste and my Dear Wife's taste are quite alike in most clothing choices. I do like dresses more than she does, but I find that like others I try to dress age appropiate. I hope one day to venture out and I do try to dress like the lady I wish to be. I do know that Dear Wife has "accidentally" put some of my tops in the drier and guess what? She wears them now. Guess I'll have to buy more.

[Davinnia]

I've always liked the style of clothes my wife wears. She tends to wear more pants than skirts nowadays so I now own more skirts. Luckily we're the same size except shoes, my heels are higher than hers.
I've often bought her clothes,nightgowns & jewelery, which she's always liked. I've actually just bought what I'd wear myself, so we're very much in tune.
The only thing I love which she doesn't are satin shirts. I'd love her to borrow my clothes,it would be a thrill to see out wearing MY things.

[RachelF]

Given there are many reasons why we crossdress, there is not a single answer for your question. You already received answers were girls just have their own style without any relation with SOs styles.

In my case, crossdressing is a fetish kind of thing (at least at this point). Therefore I use more sexy clothing. For me these are clothes I would love my SO using. It does not mean I love her less because she doesn't but I would really like to see her in more sexy clothes, high heels, etc.

My 2 cents.

[luvSophia]

There was never a lot of overlap between the style of clothes I wear and what my wife would have picked out. She was much more into the casual, practical style and everything I put together seemed to end up looking more business casual. She was always pushing me to be more flirty and diva-like. Every once in a while though one of us would find something we really liked, only to discover that it didn't fit and we'd ask the other to try it and see if they liked it and if it fit them.

[Deborah Jane]

We both have our own clothing tastes, although we do wear matching lingerie occasionally :battingeyelashes:

[allisonrn06]

My purchases don't reflect what I would want my wife to wear, but that is more of a sizing problem than anything - I see stuff all the time in her favorite stores that I would like to wear, but their sizes stop well short of what I would need. Most of the clothes stop at about size 12, shoes at size 10 and it's very frustrating. I'd lke to get some mini skirts, but the only ones I find are in the junior's section. Circumstances will permit me to shop online soon, and have purchases shipped to my home, so that should be changing!!

[loardata]

Heck yes I do. I get so sick and tired seeing her is those darn cotton pj's. The only time i see her in anything frilly fem is on vacation maybe once a year, and when she does wear something sexy it is with such a pained look on her face it is not worth it to me. it just plain sucks. Sorry for the rant but that's the way i feel.--michille

[TSchapes]

I dress for myself, not how I want my wife to dress. I do wish she would dress a little nicer. I'm a big fan of "What not to Wear" and my wife wears clothes that don't fit well. I've gone with her to the store to help her pick out clothes and she says she loves what I pick out for her, then she doesn't wear them.

I also love a lot of costumes and like to dress in different looks. Some I would not go out in public with. So, definitely I wouldn't want her to wear those!

-Tracy

[BLUE ORCHID]

I tend to dress more sexy and my wife more conservitivly our
styles are 180 degrees apart .
But then again it's a don't ask don't tell thinggie so I don't push things.
Oh how I wish she would share my things.
O-well I don't rock the boat because I may be thrown overboard!!!
.
.................................................. ........thanks............ORCHID

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Daphne,
Well call me a control freek but I choose most of Jays clothes. Well, not strictly true, its usually a joing decision but heavily weighted in my favour. I like a certain look and I know what suits him.
I also figured quite early on in the relationship that if I was going to go out with him dressed then I wanted him looking like somebody I would be proud to be with.
He has a great pair of legs and a really nice bottom so I go for the fitted tailored look. I do try not to take over, but often I impulse buy when I'm at work in my dinner break that I see and bring home for him. Not just clothes either, I like him to have matching accessories and can't resist a new handbag. There is a method in my madness cause if its something I like I also get to wear it.
Take care
Bev

[stephaniesacd]

When i'm in male mode, my style and my wife's are similar. We train horses for a living and both wear wrangler jeans and boots. I like my t shirts and she likes halter tops. (i love halter tops too!). When I'm able to get girly, I totally love dresses and blouses and skirts and heels. I try to dress my age and mostly conservative with a hint of sexiness with it. My wife rarely wears her skirts. We both accept one anothers style which makes me adore her all the more.

[LilSissyStevie]

My wife told me, "if one of us has to dress like a tramp, it ain't gonna be me!" So I made the sacrifice. :D

[5150 Girl]

I pick stuff to best hide my less feminine features

[Satrana]

Are CDer's clothing choices unrelated to what the CDer would like their SO's style to be? Basically yes. His femininity is his own and quite distinct from your femininity. This is a matter of self expression and definitively not a message to tell you how you should present yourself.

I am sure many CDs would like to see their SOs copy some of their favorite styles but only if that is what you feel you want inside and the style looks good on you. Otherwise stick to what you want to wear.

Think of it the other way around, since you are a tomboy do you ever think that your choice in pants should be copied by your husband? If your clothing choice is not meant to signal to your husband what he should wear as a male then why would you think differently of his feminine clothes?

[amandag]

I buy clothes that appeal to me and current trends. I have a vast assortment of styles from very dressy, some sexy, some conservative.

My wife's taste in clothing is opposite of mine, more on the below the knee dresses and skirt, very conservative and so she would never wear my selection of outfits, even if she knew of my wardrobe.

Amanda

[lee in a skirt]

If i pick the clothes there because i think theyll look good on me. More often than not though my partner picks them for me which is normally because she thinks ill look cute in them or because she likes them but would never wear them.

[Piora]

I have been divorced for 6 years, but have been Dressing for about 20. At the time, I wanted my wife to wear the kind of lingerie that I myself, have a passion for wearing....but she wouldn't, it wasn't something that she would ever wear, and she told me. I never borrowed any of her lingerie or underwear either, since it was always practical and uninspiring, instead of frilly and sexy. So, I bought my own. My adult daughter lives with me, and I know she has tons of lacy and sexy panties and stockings etc. But there is just something really wrong to me, anyway, about the idea of wearing her things. So I never have and never will. I prefer to buy my own.

[tricia_uktv]

I think the answer is likely no, but it depends so much on circumstances. I now have a certain style that I look for, but that is different from my ex or any other girl I meet. Its part of what makes me me.

[Veronica Nowakowski]

I, for one, definitely wear what i find attractive. But then I've been very much attracted to girls who dress nothing like it. He might get a kick out of something in general, but if love does anything, it makes girls that are only moderately attractive into supermodels, so don't worry about the meanings of how he dresses himself, just be yourself as you're allowing him to be himself.

[PattiL]

My wife tends to be more of a tom-boy. So yes, my purchases reflect what I would want her to wear. It makes me crazy because she can wear all the nice things I want to wear and can't however she chooses to wear what I can. Rather ironic.

[Rachel05]

No my pusrchases are absolutely what I want to wear, there is no way on earth that she would wear some of my lingerie and I am happy to keep it that way

[ronnie1951]

I tend to wear what I like and find attractive. However my wife, and lots of women I see around town dont seem to want to be all that "feminine". Not many women wear pantyhose, matter of fact not sure when the last time I saw a woman wear pantyhose. Look at Macys they dont even have a very big selection anymore. Some gorcery stores dont even carry Leggs at all.

Ok, so pantyhose may be uncomfortable, at least that is what I have heard. But I think legs look great in them. Some fetish in there I guess. But lots of women prefer no makeup, nothing feminine at all. Like they are making a statement that if you dont like them the way they are then too bad.

My wife is on the tall side and self conscious about it, so instead of capitalizing on pumps and nice long legs, everything she wears is kind of boring, no bling or statement.

So I would say I am guilty too, of wearing more feminine things that I wish my wife would wear, but doesnt have the same desire to.

[leggylisa]

I pick things that i think make me look sexy and feminine. My wifes taste isn't my taste though she does generally think the things i pick are nice.

[DisKreeT]

For sure! You have no idea how much I fantasize about having an SO that likes what I do. I wait patiently for that day.

[Veronica Lacey]

My purchases are tailored to what I truly like to wear which is silk and satin, conservative for sleeve and skirt lengths (partially because I would not pass even with decent legs), any colours and always in garter and heels. My wife wears natural tones and mostly cotton. She looks great but not my style. I can wear such things from my male wardrobe and that's not much fun.

Now, would I like it if my wife wore what I do? You bet. She would look wonderful. Perhaps there is some influence but nothing that makes the decision for me.

My own interpretation of your question might include "Would I dress as much if my wife wore what I like to wear?" Different question for a different thread but I sometimes ponder that in conjuntion with your own question.

Good one, Daphne!