Followup on Bev06 GG thread on confidance

[Jonianne]

"Bev06 GG" started a wonderful thread about how being secure and confidant about who we are, makes us more attractive to others.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=112430

I was very intriged by one of her comments in a post and wanted to start a thread about it. She said "........Maybe thats another school of thought when someone asks you why you CD. Tell them all the positive and exciting things that you get to do over and above a regular guy. Make it sound as exciting as it can be if you let go of your inhibitions. I started my talk with the Words "I am so proud of what I do and who I work for" and I said it with conviction. Maybe instead of running for cover when someone talks about your CDing its time to say much the same and make it sound like an attractive alternative lifestyle. Dont immediately assume that theyre going to be condeming of your chosen lifestyle, they may well be, but imagine if they were actually interested and you made it sound so wonderful that they wondered what they were missing out on. Enthusiasm is very catching and there is something very attractive about someone who has a very positive attitude to life........"

What positive and exciting things can we say that we can do over and above regular guys?

I think when we let go of our inhibitions we can show others that it's OK to be yourself even if it cuts across what society thinks is norm. The neatest comments I have received was someone saying, "Wow, you sure have a lot of courage to do that!"

That may inspire them to be able to try something they may feel inhibited in doing.

What other things can you think of?

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I don't do any positive and exciting stuff. I present as female because a certain little bit of my brain expects to see a female looking back when I look in the mirror and gives an instruction to my stomach to churn when it sees an male staring back.

[Nicole Erin]

Have fun shopping! :D
is there anything else?

[TGMarla]

What other things can you think of?
Well, I get to wear dresses, hosiery, high heels, pretty jewelry, long pretty hair, makeup, nice nails..... That's all pretty exciting to me, and I don't get to do that in guy mode. It's an experience I just can't get when presenting as a male. Now granted, most regular guys aren't going to relate to that. They'll tell you that they don't want to do such things. I'm of the opinion that they say such things mostly due to social conditioning. But as a human being, I'm not good with simple things like that being denied to me in any way. Why do you think women enjoy wearing pretty dresses? It's because it's a treat to do so. But it's a girls only thing.

[Satrana]

its time to say much the same and make it sound like an attractive alternative lifestyle.

When I started surfing CD sites in the 1990s the idea that CDs should sell the advantages of our behavior was all the rage. Apparently if only we could advertise our product the right way, we would win over unsupportive spouses etc. Well it did not work.

Trying to sell the advantages sounds desperate to me. I just want to be accepted without judgement, I should never have to consider packaging myself in order to gain acceptance. I am not a car salesman, it is not my job to whet the appetite of others so they are sold on the idea.

If you have accepted yourself, you do not need to advertise the benefits because you do not need validation from others. Bev's post was about self acceptance which allows confidence to shine through which in turn attracts others to you. Just being yourself is all that you need to do. Stop thinking of yourself as being different and needing special attention, start thinking of yourself as being worthy of befriending the best people around you.

[Jonianne]

I wasn't making a point, I just quoted Bev and was following her advice of coming up with positive and attractive thoughts about our femme side.

Another is the ability (however limited) to view and feel the wonderful aspect of the females we love from their point of view.

Another is letting others see that each of us is different in our own way, but we are still very much the same. I didn't understand others, who I thought were different, until I met them and got to know them and found out that their differences were not so relavent in being a friend, coworker, etc..