Its a girl thing

[Stephanie Mancini]

So there i was standing in front of the full length mirror trying my very best to look as feminine as my imagination would allow me to be all these years ago dressed in my very first ever 'outfit' which consisted of matching bra and panties, black seamed stockings and a pair of black stilletos which incidentally hurt like hell as i recall and thinking i was the hottest chick ever to walk the walk, girls was i wrong, no skirt, no wig ,makeup and absolutely no idea how to be a girl whatsoever, what i lacked totally was girl knowhow and then some! oh for sure we girls can all stut our stuff and practice being catwalk models with the best of them in front of the mirrror, indeed Steph has learned some of her best moves here and could in all honesty have probably auditioned for Follies Bergere, mistakes? i've made hundreds of them be it fashion disasters, make up problems etc you name it Steph has worn the t-shirt, the thing is its a learning process which even real girls go through in their teens so we at least have something in common with our counterparts, each of us travels at our own pace, some quicker than others but we all eventually meet on the crossroads, for Steph it was fun then and its still fun now,


Steph

[Natalie x]

" ... even real girls go through in their teens ... "

I was just thinking, real girls get an apprenticeship - they start young, get trained by professionals (their mums) and have a peer group for support and fashion ideas.

Crossdressers have to hide from the world, we have to learn by secret observation and our own mistakes, and the clay we are working with is, for most of us, of inferior quality. :eek:

At least we now have a peer group in these forums, where we can share fashion and makeup tips and get advice and support. I only started crossdressing this year, and this place has been my second home right from the start; I do not believe that I could have survived without it. Most of you sisters had no such support as you went through the trauma of discovering that you were different, of facing the world every day on your own. My love and admiration and respect for you is boundless.

[Rachel_740]

I was just thinking, real girls get an apprenticeship - they start young, get trained by professionals (their mums) and have a peer group for support and fashion ideas.

You're right here Natalie. I am sooooooooooooo lucky though cos my Mum has offered bits and peices of advice to me, and on other things I have asked her advice, so although I'm running 30/35 years late I am starting to get that education from Mum :) .

Anne

[Julie]

Instead of having gone through the standard female apprenticeship with journeywomen (older sisters and/or mom) I went through the standard CD apprenticeship which is self teaching. We study GGs, we look at magazines, we study makeup and clothing. We become students of the feminine world but we have no teacher(s).

Along the way, I found the mirror can lie. When I first started getting serious about looking like a woman I would rely on the mirror. I had a 35mm camera back then but didn't want to take pictures and have them developed by a complete stranger then pick them up at the store never having any idea who saw them. In other words, I was afraid to be outed. So I relied on the mirror.

I went to a Tri-Ess event and one of my friends there took my picture. At the next meeting she gave me the picture. I was horrified! I looked terrible! It was one of the most pathetic attempts to look femme I had ever seen! (I'm always hypercritical about myself.) At that moment I was thinking to just 'stop the nonsense'. Soon after, I did, for ten years! It wasn't just that picture, there were other factors, but that picture sure made it easier.

A couple of years ago I bought a digital camera for taking pics on a sports related website I owned. Donations from the website paid for it and the visitors were richly rewarded as I became better and better with action shots.

When the dam started cracking in April of 2004 and I started dressing at home again (with the measley few things I had left and a 20 year old wig!) I started taking pictures. Since I could view them instantly I could make adjustments. Did my beard show? Was the wig properly set and styled? Did the clothes compliment my body shape? Did I really look feminine? All of these things I could adjust right now as I was still wearing what I saw in the picture. That was, without a doubt, the best teacher I have had so far. Even when I am critiqued by a GG or a fellow TG I still go to the pictures to confirm what they said. The pictures are, to me, the final decision maker, since we all have different tastes.

I'd say a digital camera is worth it's weight in gold when you want to improve your looks. :thumbsup:

[Natalie x]

"I'd say a digital camera is worth it's weight in gold when you want to improve your looks"

That is so true, Julie.

Anne, thank you. You got me thinking about my lovely mum, who passed away three years ago. I am absolutely certain she would have been like yours and would have enjoyed helping me to discover the daughter she never had, if only I had found this gift twenty years (or more) ago. I wonder sometimes if she can see me now; I see her every time I get fully dressed. :love:

[Ava Mouse]

Ah, Julie, the secret is NOT to use the flash. The flash seems to go right through the foundation and reveal our beard AND every single wrinkle and facial crinkle we have. Best to use ambient lighting, which is what we normally see in windows and mirror reflections...





I went to a Tri-Ess event and one of my friends there took my picture. At the next meeting she gave me the picture. I was horrified! I looked terrible! It was one of the most pathetic attempts to look femme I had ever seen! (I'm always hypercritical about myself.) At that moment I was thinking to just 'stop the nonsense'. Soon after, I did, for ten years! It wasn't just that picture, there were other factors, but that picture sure made it easier.
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[DanaJ]

I agree - I have always said that every CD should own and use a camera, it is one of the best tools that a CD can use to improve her looks!

And Ava, I find a flash essential, there is nothing like a well-lit, in focus, clear photo. If you are getting a dark murky photo, then that will not help you in your quest to use a camera to better your look. I find that ambiant light (for close-ups), at least with my digi camera, always comes out a bit sallow and slightly fuzzy.

...not that you need any help Ava, you never take a bad pic! :)

DanaJ

[Sophia Rearen]

I'm with Ava. I used to take my photos in the bedroom with the flash. The biggest problem was the beard. I've since moved to the hallway next to a glass door. Much better photos. My profile pic is a good example.

[kathy gg]

Hmm, have to disagree. Not every gg was blessed with a mom who was skilled at feminine deportmen, make up and clothing skills.

I know I was not. My mom never wore make up, had the shortest hair style, and was not into dressing sexy. But we were poor and I just had to wing it. I also was terrified of make up becuase I can remember hearing boys making fun of the girls who wore too much and looked like fools. I also had naturally curly hair and my mom was of no help in helping me figure out a style that worked best. Hers was striaght and all she had to do was run a brush through it. of course when I did that it made my hair look like a diana ross wig reject. As for peers, most of my girl friends in high school wore far too much make up than I even had the money to buy. I went through high school on lipgloss and pressed powder. I did finally figure out about sexy clothing my junior year, but really a girl who dresses that way go tagged a ****. So here I was still a virgin dressing like I was not one and completely scaring away any possible boyfreinds.

I wish the net had been around for me to then....

kathy in canada

I was just thinking, real girls get an apprenticeship - they start young, get trained by professionals (their mums) and have a peer group for support and fashion ideas.
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[Alison Anderson]

:lol: It`s so funny cause it`s true!
I used to use a film camera with a flash and out of about 20 shots maybe 2 would look OK, the rest I would feel ashamed that someone else would have actually seen them. At the start and end of the roll I would take a couple of unrelated pics as nearly always they would take out the photos and show you to make sure you were happy with them! "Yes, yes, thats fine thanks!" Pay quick and get away quicker!

Actually, when I was a sixteen year old girl (sob, sob, where`s my time machine?) We did have a clunky old video camera that I used to parade in front of when my parents went away. I wore my sisters clothes and poster paint for makeup; I looked like a drag queens nightmare but could practice dancing and walking and dubed music over it. I would give anything to have those tapes still :(
I did have my sister and her friends to study for inspiration but,, eeek!, it was the eighties!

Next I would pose for the mirror and think I looked hot, then try and repeat that for a newer, VHS camera, playback and Aaagh! Something horrible went wrong in between!

Nowdays I use a digital video cam, tape myself then plug into the puter and frame by frame can pic out the best poses, curve of a smile and tilt of the head. Many still look hideous, you should see some (No Way) but the beauty is there`s no limit to how many you take and its so quick to do.