My heart vs my head

[StaceyJane]

In two months I will be taking a rather long train trip. I had planned to be watch my money and travel coach the whole way there and back. But now a thought has come into my mind. I could travel in a private roomette. It's a small room on trains and has a fold down bed. I would be a private place to travel. The thought is I could reserve the room and take a good bit of the trip as Stacey in a private room. How wonderful that would be travelling through the countryside wearing my favorite outfit. Now I would have to change for meals (which are free if you have a room) but I could spend hours dressed up on the train. The problem is this would more than double the cost and would mean I would have to use my credit and not my debit card to pay for it. Big difference.
So now I'm struggling. Suck it up in coach as a guy or pay the big bucks and travel as Stacey. Now I could save some money and only do the return trip in the roomette. Not as great but it would still give me lots of time.
Somehow I can imagine everyone here saying "Go For It" but I do have to watch my expenses.
But....... This trip would be only 4 days after my birthday so maybe it's a birthday present to myself.....

I want to so much but should I watch my expenses........

My heart and head are torn.......

[Sandra]

......or you could throw caution to the wind and travel as Stacey instead of having to change at times, and not hide and still save on expenses.

[rickie121x]

Stacy: If I have picked up the message correctly, you only get to do this life one time, and opportunities missed are generally exactly that... missed. I, at age 74, often think of the things I shoulda, woulda, coulda, and for one reason or another cannot or may not - ever do again.

Rickie :daydreaming:

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Stacey-

I'm with Sandra, just go as Stacey. Of course, there are some things to consider, I guess. If someone, friends, family, whoever is seeing you off at the station, then maybe you won't want to do that. But if not, then go for it. No one on the train will give a rat's tushy, there is, I suppose, the remote possibility that someone you know may be getting on the train the same time you are. Remote, but possible.

If you don't want to travel enfemme in coach, then go for the roomette. It's only money and maybe the only chance you'll get to do it. Either way, I say go with your heart. C'mon, ya know ya want to.

BTW, is that Harker Heights, TX? I used to live in Killeen.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Bluesman]

Go for it Stacey, and enjoy, even if only part of the trip if you really need to save money. And you can always find something else to cut back on to make up the expense. My guess is that, like me, you are a private or semi-private CDer, so going en femme in coach is probably not an option.

[DianneW]

What a great idea! I never thought of going somewhere on a train. I LOVE TRAINS & that would be a hell of a lotta fun. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Ralph]

"Birthday present to myself"... isn't that how Gollum got into so much trouble? No matter how you justify it to yourself - birthday present, once in a lifetime opportunity, whatever - you still have to pay the bills in the end. I have had to set aside more "once in a lifetime opportunities" than I can count because paying for them would have meant not being able to pay rent. Credit card? Sure, "just this once" - and then you can't get a house or car loan because you have $40,000 in credit card debt.

It's easy for these other guys to spend your money with a jubilant "Go for it!" because they don't have to pay your bills.

How about use your heart AND your head? If it's something you really want to do, plan ahead and see how long it will take to pay it off, what you'll have to give up (how about no new clothes or eating out for a year?) , and see if you can afford it without doing damage to your disposable income or credit rating.

[GaleWarning]

Go in guy mode and enjoy THE TRAIN TRIP.
You can always enjoy BEING STACEY when you get back home.

You will probably appreciate that, if you get into debt, it will spoil your enjoyment of THE TRAIN TRIP and that would be a shame.

Especially in these troubled financial times ...

Go with your head, Stacey, and stay out of financial trouble.

[Sara Jean]

well i understand having to live tight budget. personally if i knew i could do it without hurting myself money wise I would do it but that's me. i already assume from your post you want to do it but are trying to get others to help you make the choice. if you really want to do and can do it but if you going to be hurting (money wise) maybe you shouldn't but in the end you have to decide

[Stacye Rose]

Stacey,

I have never traveled "en-femme" but I have taken extended trips by rail. If you travel coach you will spend seemingly endless hours in one seat very much like riding an over the road bus. you may find yourself subjected to crying babies, obnoxious drunks or any manor of unpleasant fellow travelers sharing the seats around you both while your awake and also if you choose to try to sleep. The only saving throw on that one is that to a certain extent you can get up and walk through the train. Not a big luxury, but it will keep the leg cramps away and help keep your behind from going numb.

On the other hand a roomette is a rather small compartment, but it is private, quiet, and safe. You can read, nap, watch the scenery or dress-in private in you own little space. Yes, it is much more expensive, but it is well worth the extra money. Also go ahead and dress for dinner, unless you choose to dress really outragiously no one on the train staff will care.:)

[Misty G]

I think I would save the expense and just travel enfemme and go coach

[Satrana]

Yes go in coach en femme. You are traveling with strangers, what are you afraid of? The private room is a bad idea - how is that any different from dressing up privately at home? Does not this secrecy betray that you still feel ashamed?

Take a deep breath and go coach. Remember nobody else knows your background. They will automatically assume that you routinely crossdress in public all the time, maybe even consider you to be transsexual. So hold your head up high and act normally and chat to people. The more friendly and confident you are, the more positive feedback you will get from others. Do not be timid, you have a right to present yourself in the manner of your choosing.

[Hope]

I dated a girl once who lived on an excruciatingly tight budget. She had a rule for when she was willing to pay for something frivolous, without suffering buyers remorse. If she saw something in a store that she wanted, she would leave it there and if she found herself thinking about it for days afterword, she would go back and pick it up. If not, she left it. It is a habit I have tried to pick up, though it is difficult sometimes I have found it does work.

On the other hand, I would caution you away from giving up on life's experiences. You can always make more money, you can never make more time. The things we left undone, we can never go back and re-do. There are plenty of things I can think of I wish I had been more willing to pay the extra to go and do... Honestly, I doubt I would miss the few extra hundred dollars if they were gone from my savings account today...

What I don't get is why you would have to change for meals?

[StaceyJane]

Thanks for all the advice. I've been all over the place with this.

I wish I could just ride coach as Stacey but I'm just not there yet. I do love travelling as Stacey. She's had some nice long drives. I know she would love to get out on a train trip.

I have lot's of thing s to decide first. We'll soon see what happens.

[Annie D]

You know that after the first 5 minutes traveling as Stacey, reading a book and watching the countryside pass by will make it a trip of a lifetime and one certainly to remember. Pack a gym bag with some casual male clothing so that you can make a quick trip to the restroom and take off your make up and change your clothes. If you don't when the trip is over you will feel an emptiness of an opportunity lost and you will wish you had taken advantage of this chance. If you can dream it, you can do it. Think of yourself as the "Little Engine That Could"......I think I can! I think I can!

[TrekGirl1701]

I don't know what exactly your financial situation is, but I myself have learned a lot of lessons about wasting money. It always seems exciting to spend a little extra and treat yourself better. If it was me I wouldn't do it. The thought of spending that extra money when I couldn't afford it would just be nagging at me the entire trip and I wouldn't enjoy it at all.

But if you can afford it, then I would say go for it. Seems like it would be worth it. :)

[Jeanna]

Go in coach as Stacy? If and when you get asked for ID,it'll certainly be a rush. Wish I was going too. I'd do it with ya!:hugs:
Jeanna