Living Part-Time

[Alexandra the Great]

Hi everyone. I'm still semi-new here, and fully in love with this place, so please forgive me if I'm posting a little too much, or in the wrong sections.

(I know I should have lurked first, but everyone seemed so friendly, I thought I'd jump right in.)

The main reason I started posting here was because I've been confused for several years, and have recently come to the (seemingly) final conclusion that I'm bigendered....as opposed to full-on trans or just a crossdresser.

My problem is, I don't know how to express myself. As I've said in my other threads, I'm not content with just crossdressing in private, but feel (at least for right now) that MtF transition would be overkill.

For a while I thought my best option was to be androgynous, but it seems like that's just not an option. I'm slightly feminine, but not nearly enough that people would see me and actually question whether I'm male or female (which was my ultimate goal in this whole thing).

So it leaves one option (unless anyone can think of something else...I'm open to suggestions!!!): to live part-time as a girl. The idea of being a guy most of the time, but dressing and living as a girl occasionally. In my mind, it seems like it works much better in concept than in execution. It freaks me out a little bit. In all honesty, it just doesn't seem like 'me'.

My question is for those of you who live part-time as women.
What ultimately made you decide that was the right answer for you, and how does it work out for you?
What are the advantages and disadvantages?
And in what circumstances do you dress?
Any other comments or thoughts on the subject would be helpful too. I don't have high expectations, so just answer what you can.

Thanks again! You all rock!

[MonikaW]

I think bi-gendered may be a good description for me too. I’m very comfortable as a woman and basically do live part-time as a woman. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been mostly male, and that is because of various obligations where I really need to present as a male. Prior to this period, I spent most of the last couple of months presenting as a woman. My neighbors are used to seeing me as both as are many shopkeepers in local stores.

As I indicated above, I am very comfortable being a woman. I’ve pretty much have done everything one can think of as a woman, or at least those things I would want to do including flying on commercial airliners and going to the beach. Basically, I just go about my day-to-day business.

Deciding what is right for me has certainly taken a long time. I’m 43, and still learning about myself. Really what it came down to was the fact that I didn’t mind being a guy after being a girl for a couple of weeks. When I was younger, I often thought that I may be transsexual. One of the reasons I do not believe I am is because I don’t hate my male body parts. While the thought of having breasts is appealing, truthfully, I don’t have any body issues.

The advantage I suppose to being part-time is the flexibility to be who I want on any given day. The disadvantage is that I sometimes have to be conscious of my presentation so I don’t slip in to female mannerisms when I’m a guy. I also have long hair these days which many do not consider to be fashionable on a middle-aged guy. I like to tell folks that in my 20s I had very long hair due to my misspent youth. I went corporate in my 30s. Now that I’m in my 40s, long hair is a mid-life crisis.

Also, while most friends in my life know about Monika, not everyone does. So there is some keeping of secrets. If I were full-time, then it would certainly be out there for everyone.

I work from home the vast majority of the time. As I hardly ever go to the office or meet with colleagues in person, I really had the freedom to dress when ever the mood strikes. I am also single and live alone. There really aren’t any set circumstances in which I dress. I can go weeks without dressing and hardly think of it. Then alternatively, I may spend weeks continually as a woman. To be honest, there is no rhyme or reason to it.

In the end, I think you need to do what feels right for you. No one can tell you or should tell you how to live your life. I’ve spent the last 30+ years exploring these issues in my life. While I’m comfortable with myself, I hardly have all the answers to this day.

Good luck on your journey, and be true to yourself.

[Jessinthesprings]

work. I was told that money isn't everything, but sadly shelter, and food are a requirement,. Thus keeping said job is paramount.

[Trudyann]

Yes, I'm part time also. Thanks to my wife. I'm retired, and I don't have problems with employment. Because of my marraige living as a female is nearly impossible, but I do get occaisions to play the female role. It seems so strange, my wife totally apposses my cross dressing, but has been OK for me to take hormones, and go to Transgender meetings. All my female attire is at a friends house.
Part time is better than no time. Trudyann

[Nicole Erin]

As far as how we express gender and how much time, we all fall under different degrees, so living part time is common.

[Alexandra the Great]

Thanks for the responses, ladies.

I appreciate your help, and I'll take it to heart.

[noeleena]

Hi...
Being a andro . was really a long time coming . 50 years as male & now 11 as a woman . i did not know what andro ment . yet knew i was different . both male & female . so work wise 45 as a builder . even now as a woman .. just the same people dont care . so its not a problem . how i live . or did . the first 6 odd years was working part time . as iv been retired for many years any way .. 61 well 62 in aug . i dressed in overalls much of the time so was not a work detail.
in the evenings i was dressed as a woman . after a while my breast.s started growing . h r t .. that was 5 years ago . people saw the changes . then two years ago it was pubic all out s r s . . now i dont have any male clothes . its all out woman .. so the change took place over 5 years . from the point of view of body changes . & yes i did go fully dressed to the town.s & malls & meeting.s . not just the trans community . buying clothes as male . what i had was people who i have known over 15 years over many years even when working . so when i said next time you see me it.ll be a woman . i did not have any problems . so. being known helped me in so many ways . the acceptance was way past what i thought would happen .
You must tell people & let them be a part of who you are . not just turn up . & say here i am . all dressed up . have those people you know be with you . talk with them . i.ll tell you what . that was the best way . i have so many friends . never ever had that before . not like now ... i.m not saying every one should do it this way . just how it worked for this kid ....
...noeleena...

[Sophie_Serendipity]

I kind of have to accept that I'll have to be part-time. I am considering if hormones will work for me...I have some other health concerns that I'm not sure about whether or not will interfere. Of course, like probably most of you, I'd rather just wake up as a genetic girl...(I used to pray every night as a kid that I would). Perhaps in time things will change, but at least for now I have to remind myself that where I am now is a whole heap better than where I was before. I do know though that whatever I look like on the outside, transition for me has really been what has happened on the inside...I know that I AM a woman, and it's just that my stupid chromosomes didn't read the memo.

The biggest problem for me right now is how to give up my addiction to ice-cream...while it is actually helping me 'develop' breasts, it's not exactly helping my silhouette.

[Sally24]

Doing the part time girl thing can be good but you have to work at it. I am married so there is alot of bargaining on when and where. I spend some weekends dressed and some vacations are "girl" vacations. I've gotten to the point that I can dress in the early morning, spend some time out and then change back and spend the remainder of the day with my wife. It's not ideal, but makes me feel tremenously better than just trying to ignore my feelings.

I also go out with my T-girl groups 2-4 times a month. Those are mostly clubs and hotel excursions where we can dance and socialize. Those have become very important to me but in reality I prefer going out in the daytime and doing just day to day stuff as a woman.

Good luck finding some balance in your life!