Independence finally

[Sarah09]

Hello everyone, this will be my first post in this section. Lately I have been looking for more ways to explore my cross dressing, and since I will be moving into my own place soon and for the first time in my life have any real privacy, I think the opportunity is finally here. I am 20 years old and do not live near any larger cities but would still like to explore my female side more. Right now the only real cross dressing I have done is with things borrowed from mom and sister that don’t really fit, and the few items I’ve managed to grab at a local box store really are not very helpful. I’m wondering what was the next step in exploring your cross dressing/female side once you gained some independence and privacy?

[Phyliss]

The first step, before getting any sort of clothing is having a decent paying job. This is gonna get costly.

Check out the local shopping areas. See what sort of clothing is offered, and if it seems like something you'd wear. Check out the various "on line" stores that are around.

[kym]

welcome to the board sarah, next step is to get your own items as you are comfortable getting them. and believe me once you get the first few items it gets easier to go shopping. let us know if you need any advice or suggestions.:love:

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Sarah,

You need to start experimenting with your own clothing to find out what you like and what works for you. If your budget is limited, this might mean going into shops and trying on a few things, not easy in a small town. Only buy a few pieces that you particularly like, and working up from there.

I can't help much with make up though as I am a genuine gumby, and rely on others to choose for me. Once you get a small kit together, practise and practise. It's fun.

Good luck

Tash :)

[PretzelGirl]

Since Karren has been quiet of late, let me use her line.

Get a credit card and have a high limit!

[TSchapes]

You can get a whole wardrobe for less than $50! The outfit in my Avatar I paid may $15 for!

Get yourself some makeup and start playing! That's a lot of fun.

That's just it, have fun. You are now free to do what you want, enjoy!

Love, Tracy :love:

[AlannahNorth]

Probably one of the first things you'll want to do is get set up for taking pics of yourself with a digital camera, this way you can work on your look and take it a step beyond the mirror image. Put the camera on a tripod (trust me on this - even a cheap one is way ahead of nothing) and hopefully you can fire it with a remote. The self timer function will do if you can't. This helped me quite a bit, and I'm looking forward to getting back into it in a few months from now.

What surprised me was how easy it was to buy women's clothing - even lingerie - in a store. It can give you quite a lift (and it's not even illegal!!...). I write out a brief list and put in a couple of question marks, then pull the list and start looking around. If I feel self-conscious, I head for a sales woman and ask for help. (This really does help get you going, I use it often). I briefly refer to a 'she' that I'm shopping for, and it generally never gets into any more info required than that. If she asks 'what does she like' - I tell her what I have in mind and say "she" prefers this or that. I've learned a lot about fit and style this way, and they generally are there to help you. Many sales women will respect you for even stepping into a lingerie section on your own, and will go out of their way to assist you. This all works best in a store like Sears or the Bay where each department has it's own cash area, although I have had excellent help in a Zeller's store and in Walmart.

Thrift stores often have books that can be useful in picking out styles that suit you, although it may take awhile for them to turn up. I've also found some decent web sites that offer the same type of advice.

Go for what interests you, take your time, and enjoy!

[Nicole Erin]

ahh but to be 20 and independent, single, no kids, THAT is the definition of owning your life.

I tell ya what NOT to do - don't get anyone pregnant and it is best to stay away from relationships. Many TG find someone to marry, purge their whole TG life, and later the woman within comes back to haunt them. "I wish I had started when I was younger, my wife found out and this and that..."


IN keeping with the clothing theme -
Learn your sizes. your woman shoe size will probably be 1.5 to 2 sizes bigger than your male shoe. Mine - 9.5 man, 11 woman.
If you have a 38 inch waist, your jean or skirt size will probably be a 16. For tops? 2 sizes bigger than the bottom. We do not have the lower body of women so that is why our top is 2 sizes bigger. My tops - 18/20. Bottom - 16. [I don't know why they don't just call it an 18 instead of 18/20]
Clothing sizes can vary a bit between comanies, but not too much. Always best to try on garments.
Here is a rough estimation of male VS female sizes -
TOPS - Male medium probably a 12 or 14 woman, male Large would be about a 16 woman, XL man is an 18/20 woman, XXL man = 22/24 woman..
My 38 inch waist fits comfy into a woman 16 jeans

OK so for the dressing itself - At first it doesn't have to be expensive. Look for sales, hit thrift stores. Buy the cheap makeup at places like walmart. Cover Girl or N.Y.C. are both inexpensive. You are going to make a lot of makeup and fashion mistakes at first. This process is called "finding your look". Even experienced shoppers like myself sometimes buy things and then like a day later think "why did I buy this ugly POS?"

You will learn your own sizes but style? Style is something one has to develop on their own. But here are a few guidelines -
Jeans, nice ones that are dark color [not the faded looking ones] can be dressed up or down. A nice pair of jeans can go with a fancy blouse or with a plain tee.
Black is always flattering. Black slacks work with most nicer tops or any style of black top goes great with those jeans.
One should dress for their figure and age. At 20, you can get away with the really cute stuff, but you don't HAVE to look like Britney Spears. However if you are small framed enough you could get away with it. Do not dress too old for your age. Leave the lime green or loud orange outfits to the old ladies. If your grandmother would wear it, stay away from it. If you are overweight,. don't wear a mid-riff shirt. If your shoulders are muscular, don't wear a speghetti strap shirt.

Three inch heels are the best compromise between sexy and comfort. Any less is not sexy and any more is just dangerous. I know some people post on CD forums that they walked around the mall or danced for 8 hours straight in 15 inch stilettos or some other fetish shoe... For a "cute" and practical look, 2 inch heels are fine. Do not worry about the CD competition of trying to wear the highest heels.
You don't see women wearing these stupidly high heels, why should a TG?

Makeup - Blue eyeshadow applied too heavy or bright red lipstick is the textbook example of what a beginner uses. Avoid them so you don't look like you are just starting. Go light on the blush too. No need to look like the "Bad girl" from an 80's rock video.

Hair - if you can grow your own and adopt a feminine hairstyle, that is perfect. If you opt for a wig, invest in a quality one that is not too gawdy. When buying, don't get something just cause it was at the thrift store or otherwise on sale. It should compliment your looks well. It should not look like you have a wig. Sometimes you see older CD's wearing a wig that looks like Goldilocks hair, Well you can see what I mean about the wig should compliment your looks.

Undergarments - Oh boy the fun part! Pantyhose or stockings have size charts on them so they are easy to size. Actual fit and quality vary widely brand to brand. No nonsense is probably the best product for the money.
Panty - Once again, they have a size chart on the package. Know the circumference of yoiur hips before buying
Bra - the number is the circumference of the chest right under the breasts. the letter, for each letter up, it is one inch bigger that the boobs are at the largest point. A cup -1 inch between largest point of breasts and the under-boob circumference. D cup - 4 inch difference.
Girdles and all that are not truely necessary.

Your ultimate style will depend on if you are wanting to go out and blend in while dressed or if you are dressing merely for yourself at home. I tried to write some things based on if yoiu were planning on goihng on successful outings.

[Sarah09]

Thanks for the advice everyone, I think the next step will be to finally purchase some actual female clothing and become more comfortable with it all. I'll let the forum know when I finally do take that next big step. :)

[Nicole Erin]

Thanks for the advice everyone, I think the next step will be to finally purchase some actual female clothing and become more comfortable with it all. I'll let the forum know when I finally do take that next big step. :)

I added a bunch of junk about dressing, I was trying to edit that post I made but something messed up, so there it is again

[GaleWarning]

Get yourself measured up.
You don't want to waste a lot of money on clothing, shoes etc that are either too big or too small.

[Philipa Jane]

Nicole Erin is right on the money absolutely top post.
Sensible informative information.
Thanks to all but especially Nicole.
Philipa Jane

[Stormgirl]

No advice but welcome to the board, I live very close to NAS Whidbey, it's always nice to see another fellow Washiongtonian here.

[altoid71]

This is gonna be way super exciting for you. Look online for stuff. fredericks is having a sale right now. check it out. you'll be dressing 3-4 nights a week. Get some good breast forms. i got mine from magic curves website.
most realistic ive found. love em. try different things as you have time now. U'll love the privacy youu have now to wear what you want.
i have a roomate temporarily and i hate it, so enjoy it while it lasts!!!!

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Sarah-

Good for you, girl. I can't really add much to what the other girls have already said, but I do want to warn you away from online stores that say they cater to crossdressers and tgirls. Generally speaking they are way overpriced. I mean, that's fine if it's the only way you feel comfortable in building a wardrobe, but places like JC Penneys and so on are much more reasonable (though girl clothes in general cost more than men's clothes).

I see you're from WA state, as am I, if you can afford a trip to a reasonable sized city, then shopping in person and being able to try things on is the way to go. You'll get to find out what sizes you wear (though sizing in women's clothes vary wildly from one maker to another) so you can order or purchase things in the future. Yes, buying clothes in person is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome, but you know what, the sales people don't care at all who the clothes are for and the vast majority are friendly, courteous and helpful.

Go for it, girl. You have your whole future ahead of you to learn about your girlside, don't let anything hold you back. Well, other than common sense and paying the rent.<lol>

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Granny Gray]

Oh, says the almost 80 year old, to be 20 and just learning of my girly self... Dream switch OFF. Reality switch ON: Thrift/resale stores particularly near the more upscale ares of a town can be a gold mine. I've got a fairly large wardrobe collected over time many items new but all bought in thrift/resale stores. For years living in a chilly climate, I wore a NEW "London Fog" top coat I'd bought at a GoodWill store for $10 and took the new manufacturer's tags off it when I took it home. The key is to be choosy, pick only high quality durable things in enduring styles... dob't get silly and try to keep up with the ever changing styles such as you see on "What Not To Wear" on cable... GoodWill, Salvation Army, Lutheran Ladies, Episcopal churches, and others have resale stores where if you shop regularly, like I make a regular tour once a week... most times I come out empty handed.... the other day I made a tour of 5 stores all within 5 mi of home and came home with 4 lovely tops and 4 skirts and a bit of change for a $10.00 bill. Hit the "yellow pages" and look for "resale"... never know what you'll find. Being a girl, even an old relic like I am, is fun.

[Charla]

You're starting young, which is good. Learn to stay out of the sun or use sunblock and moisturizer - this is good advice for looking good in guy mode too. Start shaping your eyebrows so people get used to them being thinner. And stay in shape - it will be much easier for you to fit into clothes and look good.

If you job allows, start growing your hair out. And talk to a beautician and ask for help in getting a hair style that can go between guy and girl mode.

If I were out on my own, I would also start a regime of facial hair removal. It will make your makeup routine much easier.

On the topic of makeup - when you ge enough money, invest in a professional makeover.

[paulaN]

Try good will or other second hand places too. Very cheep so you are not out much if it isn't right. It really helps you get the feel of clothing so when you do shop for first hand stuff you are much better prepared. The very best thing to do is to try it on though. I highly recommend breast forms and a camera. There is nothing like the feel of forms and the camera will help with makeup and style. Good luck. Never let cross dressing stop being fun.

[Nicole Erin]

One other thing - don't get in a rush with things, instead, take it one step at a time and enjoy this new journey :D

[mklinden2010]

>>I’m wondering what was the next step in exploring your cross dressing/female side once you gained some independence and privacy?


Probably finding out the depth and breadth of my interest in doing this sort of thing - and what to do with that interest.

Since you're posting here, it seems you are making an effort to explore who you are and where you are going with your current interests. As most here can tell you, it's not just what you think, this may, in fact, be who and what you are.

So, embrace that idea and resolve to make that part of your entire "real" life. Don't back off from it, don't start buying and purging, don't "settle" for some half-way relationship just to have someone in your life.

I'd suggest you get the hell out of any small town/relatives two streets over/no place to go around here/I could get "caught" situation right now. No time like the present to start shaping your future and pursuing happiness. It's unlikely that any of us can make our own lives if we stay in exactly the same spot in life we started.

Get out and live a little. Come back if and when you can be happier there than anywhere else. Be careful and learn as you go. New experiences and new information are probably not all where you grew up... Again, you probably need to "get out there" and see some more of life before you settle down anywhere.

You're young, you get to make "dumb" mistakes. People will get used to what you do and who you are if you start now. Wait until you're forty and you'll find that most people will be upset because they don't "know" you. And, they won't - you will have done too good a job of being someone you're not. And, in the process, you'll do a good job of fooling yourself.

But, don't take my word for it. Check with a doctor or thearpist just to check off that box in life. You don't have to agree with them or do what they say, but you should at least hear someone else's point of view besides yours and mine.

In the end, trust your feelings and your acquired knowledge - you have both for a reason. Seek "good" feelings and useful information and encourage change when it makes sense.

Have a great life.

[Robertacd]

Thrift stores are your friends. I buy everything except for panties at thrift stores like Goodwill and Salvation Army. Also consignment stores have great deals.