ranting to anyone who will listen

[StaceyJane]

I just feel like saying that I wish I were a woman and I really should start seeing a gender therapist to discuss transitioning.
I have a ton of excuses but it what I've wanted my whole life.

But...

There is so much risk....
Sometimes I'm so afraid of the risk that I feel I just have to make do aas a male.

I've talked to a therapist about this and I eventually stopped therapy because I felt I had gone as far as i can with out coming out.

Today I almost ordered hormones for myself online. I was all ready to do so when i decided the risks were too great.

But.......
I love feeling female. I shave my arms and legs and I so love the look and feel.
I just wish my whole body was the same.

[SirTrey]

Yep, that's transgender gridlock, alright....That's always what it comes down to...the benefits versus the risk....and, ultimately, either way can cost you plenty....Only you (and each of us who is transgendered) can decide which is worse, the loss that comes with transitioning, or the loss OF transitioning and never being able to live in the right life with the right body....and no one is right or wrong, whatever they decide....It's all a matter of what is right for YOU...I wish I could tell you that the decision gets easier, but it doesn't....Sometimes it takes a long time to figure it all out and sometimes it's pretty clear-cut....A lot of that depends on your personal circumstances and exactly what and who it might cost you if you decide to go forward with it....Some families and friends stick by you, some do not...and you can't always tell until you do it who is who....there are also the social consequences, the discrimination (job and otherwise) that a transitioning person faces...but....all that said...what price for being who you are? Never an easy decision....and I wish you well making yours...many of us have been there...Lean on us if we can help....:hugs: **Trey**

[Kelly DeWinter]

We are listening hon. It's Ok to rant. I would also start a journal, it helps to get the feeling out, so you can make clear decisions.

Huggs Kelly

[Diane24]

than bottling it all inside! Than can lead to trouble. As was suggested, keep a journal. It helps to write your thoughts about your transitioning and have a record that you can look back on. If you write enough you may even have the makings of a story for Big Closet or Fictionmania! The Journal is for you and should be a place to write your deepest thoughts, fears and hopes. It will help, believe me!
Love,
Diane

[Saika]

The risks vs the benefits, that is driving me nuts *sigh. Its healthy to have a good rant, lets it out of your system rather than it being all caged.