items ditched

[Kathy4ever]

Two months ago I came home and noticed that some items were gone. They were some woman winter boots,exercise suit,ny tank tops, and most important my boy shorts,lipstick,epilator. My wife has not said a word, but a moth ago she kept teasing me to her sister about singing like a canary. I got a little mad so I sent her an e-mail with a singing canary.Still have not talked about it.I get a little mad that she threw my stuff away.I don't touch her stuff so why does she think it is okay to throw my:Angry3 stuff away.

[Jeanna]

It seems that she knows now. Ask for where she put your things. I'm sure that an interesting discussion will follow.
Jeanna

[CharlotteW]

Agreed. The situation of not talking about it does not mean that it hasn't happened and this 'cloud' will not clear until the discussion has taken place. I think I'd be saying "I noticed some of my possessions have disappeared, any reason why?" If the reply is "what possessions?", just be forthright and list them as if they were household products.

Good luck with this one.

[Di]

Try talking it beats second guessing and wondering.

[mklinden2010]

Pardner, looks like she's calling you out.

Really, no kidding - she's onto you and it's time to "man up" and ask her about rustling your goods.

(It ain't funny when it's your boots.)

You just remind her how much man it takes to wear a dress and expect some fancy word play...

Varmits!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Take some of her favorite things and put them away and when she
askes about them you can say thats strange some of my things
are missing too.
.................................................. ....thanks.............ORCHID

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Perhaps my take on it is a little different than some of the responses you've gotten. To me, the key to any relationship is being able to talk about things, no matter how difficult or painful they may be. What your wife did was immature and uncalled for, but for you to respond in kind would be to just keep the game going.

Here's the big question, though. Are you ready to come out to her and to the rest of your family and perhaps your friends as well? It sounds like she's already outed you to some degree. The fact that she took your belongings alone shows a lack of concern for your feelings as well as her apparently having told your sister-in-law about it. Unless you're willing to be totally honest about being TG and ready to face some tough questions and perhaps, who knows, the end of your relationship, then maybe it would be better just to let things alone and endure the occasional teasing.

It's a tough situation with no right answer, only you can decide what do knowing your wife and your circumstances. I wish you and her the very best, as I'm sure does everyone else here.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[gretchen2]

That sucks, she is just throughing away both of your hard earned money, and telling you how she does not approve of your dressing.

[TGMarla]

Well, you were doing something that you were hiding from her. Now, apparently she has done something that she is hiding from you. You don't like it; she likely didn't either. Tit for tat. But what she did involves a bit of a violation - discarding things that were not hers. Your digression involved a behavior that you kept from her. I will not make a judgement call on which is worse, but both were regrettable. Since you know that she knows, and it's bothering you (which she hoped it would), you might as well come clean and talk about it. But don't fight. Neither one of you is in the right here.

[Alice B]

Very simple. You have to sit down and talk about it. Otherwise strong feeling will be stuffed away and lead to big problems.

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with Alice. I strongly recommend you talk with your wife (in a relaxed non-confrontational way) before this confusion escalates into something much worse. There's an obvious disconnect that needs to be resolved here.

[Jenny Beth]

Don't sweep this under the rug like it didn't happen. The fact that it hasn't exploded in your face doesn't mean it won't someday. On the upside the fact it hasn't could be a good thing, maybe it's something she's not opposed to but you won't find that out unless you talk. The ball is obviously in your court....your serve!

[carnut62]

My wife doesn't like my hobby and hasn't talked about it in 7 years. I have some things around, flat iron, camisole, tights, workout pants, etc. and at least twice she has gone bonkers and thrown them around the closet and hiding half of them. I have eventually found them all. Much better than the first time she found my stuff and cut it to little pieces and threw it up in the air.

Is it possible she thinks they are from old girlfriends?

Hugs,
Tabitha.

[kalina]

Two months ago I came home and noticed that some items were gone. They were some woman winter boots,exercise suit,ny tank tops, and most important my boy shorts,lipstick,epilator. My wife has not said a word, but a moth ago she kept teasing me to her sister about singing like a canary. I got a little mad so I sent her an e-mail with a singing canary.Still have not talked about it.I get a little mad that she threw my stuff away.I don't touch her stuff so why does she think it is okay to throw my:Angry3 stuff away.

As I said in a previous post, most GGs aren't too keen on their husbands crossdressing. They may have acted on their own behalf or with the help of peer pressure (their friends and family). Find an outside place where you can rent and store your stuff and access it all from there.

[TxKimberly]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.
We have our head trips, and our wives have theirs.
I think we should all be prepared to forgive our wives cracking every once in a while just as we have asked them to forgive and accept our little oddities.
Your wife had a moment, she chucked your things. It was wrong, no question about it, but remember that she has a load to bear just as you and I do, and maybe it just got to be a bit much for her for a moment.

Oh, just read Marla's post - she's got some good points there! :)

[Ras]

it was not fair of her to toss out your things, how would she like it if you tossed out some of her things without speaking with you first.

You need to call her on the carpet with this one

[Presh GG]

I think she is trying to get you to talk to her. She just doesn't know how to approach the subject.
I doubt sincerely that your things are really gone, hidden maybe but not thrown out.

Maybe this is the best thing that could ever happen for your future in her road to acceptance and understanding.

Do you think ?

springtime gg

[Kathy4ever]

She might want me to start, but I don't know how to start either. Luv her and I don't want to hurt her either. I've read up on telling but have not found the nerve yet. She is so good at starting things that I guess I just hoped she would do what she does best

[MissConstrued]

I say, hide her lucky bra and her vibrator, then play innocent.

It's always hard to know what's going through a person's head, especially when it's second-hand and only in words on a screen... but it almost sounds like she's playfully messing with you, aiming for a session where you bare all, and then the both of you bare all together. No biggie, really.

Start singing, birdie. Own it! "Bitch, next time I lose a garter belt, I'm gonna smack a ho!"

Now, if a woman had disappeared my power tools, that would be grounds for immediate divorce. IF! -- I was in a really good mood that day.

[urmilaaa2008]

kathy dear,
I think u should discuss with her and know what is on her mind. if u love each other, it will be easy to understand and accomodate each other

[michelle_tx]

Tough situation. But waiting for her to say something is probably not the right move. If she was going to say something, she would have instead of hiding your stuff. The fact that she did probably means she isn't going to be the first to talk. You're going to have to be the one to bring up the subject. And it is something you need to talk about. It may not be easy. Things might even get ugly. But if you keep dressing and try to hide it things will only fester and boil till they get worse. Sit her down and have an honest talk with her about it. Make sure you find out how she feels about it. If you're lucky, she'll be cool about it. If not, you may have to choose between her or dressing. But if you do nothing now, things will only get worse, and you'll still probably end up having the conversation sometime anyway. Best not to have the appearance of keeping a secret from her too.

[Hali]

Take some of her favorite things and put them away and when she
askes about them you can say thats strange some of my things
are missing too.
.................................................. ....thanks.............ORCHID

Aw my gawd! this reply is awesome am so pissed with SOs taking control of our lives. Most SOs believe so much about what the society expect from them and end up displeasing themselves and their loved ones just to fit in. Its about time CDs "fight back".....lol!