night mares have come true

[Milla]

Well recently I kept having night mares of a friends orfamily member finding my stash . Well my sister sends her Nany/house keeper by once every 2 weeks or so to help me with cleaning. Well , one particular time , I told the nany not to bother to clean my room , i wasnt sure how secure it was. Well she did , prob instructed by my sister. Im sure it was this ocasian , but a womens shirt and stocking was found . Anyhoo my sis asked today about it to day. I told her it belong to some girl . I felt like puking , Im feeling better now , not 100 percent though. Im not sure it my sis baught it. Damn I really wonder if this is worth the mental stress of being caught or fear of being caught . I dont know if i could deal with the shame.

How do you others deal with being caught or knowing your suspected :(

[Julie York]

It's all part of the fun.


Deception is a full time job.

[yamicd]

Well be honest about it, perhaps your sis will understand. Crossdressing isnt something you do, its someting you are. I hate my own on and off lifestyle but enjoy the time I do get to dress.

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Milla

How do I deal with the prospect of being caught? Well, I keep in mind that there's no reason for me to feel guilt or shame. I like the phrase "crossdressing isn't something you do; it's something you are". I think that's very true. If someone has a problem with me I'll know that this is every bit as stoopid as having a problem with someone because they have hair of a certain color. I'll know that the problem lies with them, not with me. Besides, in most situations, as long as I'm not rude or offensive, most people will at least live and let live.

If I do get caught, it may well be a difficult experience for me, but they'll never convince me that I'm not a great person. :) I hope you won't let anyone convince you of that either. ;)

Hugs,
Lisa

[Milla]

thanks friends

well tomorrow i pick up my corset . Hopefuely that will put thing into perspective. I still feel a little off , but I use i`ll be better.

I think its the shame that has kept me from experiancing this side of my personality for 25 plus years.

[Deborah]

I wouldn't worry about it to much. How is she ever going to know for sure?
Besides i clean my own house i don't have to worry about it. :cool:

[DonnaT]

The question is, Milla, why do you feel ashamed?

Crossdressing is not wrong. Being transgendered is something you were born with. There is no cure. So why feel ashamed of something you did not choose to be.

It's time to take your life back, all of it, including the crossdressing side, by accepting this as being an integral part of who you are, what makes you you.

Accepting yourself can be very liberating indeed.

[Mandy Salamander]

Agreeing with Donna,,,110%,,,,if you can't be who you are, certainly no one else will do it for you,,,,that's ME,I'm Mandy,and damned proud of it,,,just my 2 cents,xcusee`moi'

[Julie]

I dont know if i could deal with the shame.

The first thing you need to do is stop being ashamed. Did you CHOOSE to be a crossdresser? No! So why feel shame for something you had no say so in?

What is so bad about crossdressing anyway? It's just clothes! So what? Are you going to let a misinformed public cause you to crawl into a hole and hide? I hope not!

As long as you are ashamed of yourself you can expect others to pick up on that and help add to that feeling. You need to accept this is you and that's it. No apologies, no shame, no beating yourself up. Once you accept yourself for who you are, others will begin to accept you too.

[Milla]

Ya your all correct . I slept on it n feel better now , with the acepion of my hang over. Eep. Im still pretty new to this gender bending thing so I gues I have to learn to ride waves.

[Melissa Ryan]

I had a hang over once.......must have another drink and see if I can find it again!
Back to reality, let me know how you go with your corset, please????
Melissa

[norbie]

Dear Milla, would you mind to tell us about your corset? Over or under bust, how you feel, how fare can you close and so on. I am terrible interesred in corsets. Of course only if it is not against your privacy and only if you feel like talking about.
Big bear hugs from Norbie

[Melissa Ryan]

I beat ya! same thought though!!!!

....Melissa......

[paulaN]

just think how you would feel if you did not have this place to come too. And you were the only person in the world that felt the need to wear womans clothes. well you're not alone. And thanks to the internet you know you're not alone. So don't be asamed of wearing womans clothes. Or any other feelings for that matter. 25 no 35 years ago I wish I had someone to talk to about my crossdressing. Thank god for the WWW. keep on dressing. were all in this together, and were all pullen for ya.

[Wendy me]

tell your sister that you don't need the house keepr who is reporting back to your sister and just enjoy what you do in your own home with out any eyes looking in on you.........

[Milla]

Sure thing NOrbie

Actually if you remember it was you whom schooled in corsets. i go pick it up after my coffee actually . :D It was 340 bucks and of course custom made.

http://www.northbound.com/Northbound_X.taf?_UserReference=D7A21685C288F6BF42 D91277&LANG=E&CMD=ProductView&SKU=COR4&S=W3&V=

[Milla]

dang it its not in , monday (grumble)

[alise]

Milla

How to deal with that ? Is their a solution ? I dont' know. The only thing i can tell you, is that, in my case, i'll get into nightmares as well. Cant explain why. Probably the feeling of being guilty. Why is crossdressing such a shame ? Cant we live the way we want, without anyone to juge you ?

Good luck, and if you find an answer, let me know

Love, Alise

[Kimberly]

This thread has helped put things in perspective with my situation with my parents (whether to tell them or not.) The time will come, when I return after the summer, to tell them and I will - and not only that, I'll help them too!

(Now someone, quickly!!: Bookmark this so I can't change my mind in a couple of months time!!)

[JoannaDees]

How do you others deal with being caught or knowing your suspected :(

In the end it's freeing. It may or may not be joyful, but stress over hiding is not very good. Stress is hard on the body and mind.

[JocelynG]

The way I look at it Milla is if you get caught or suspected dressing then you just need to say to yourself that it is meant to be and deal with it from there instead of having the fear of what will happen if you do get caught

[alise]

The way I look at it Milla is if you get caught or suspected dressing then you just need to say to yourself that it is meant to be and deal with it from there instead of having the fear of what will happen if you do get caught

I'm agree with you Diane (your g name?!). Well mainly aggree. Indeed, how to deal with our fear to be discoverd ? How others will look at us then ? From the moment our particularity is knowed, people around change. Why, maybe just because we're not yet accepted like we are. Hope the world will change, and that we will not always be "some curiosity" in others eyes.

[Melissa A.]

All the posts about not being ashamed of who you are make sense, and I'm glad your'e getting something out of them. I can't add much.

BUT, what is your sister's nanny doing running back to your sister and telling her what she found in your room? And why is your sister questioning you about stuff that is none of her business unless you choose to make it otherwise?

I'd be more pissed off than scared, but that's just me.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[carson]

That's what I call it, Milla. I've been tormented by guilt and shame for 33 yrs. now b/c I enjoy crossdressing. I had never told anyone. But I finally decided I needed to understand what I was all about so I joined this forum. Because of the compassion and encouragement and support that "I'm not a wierdo or pervert" I began to grow less and less shameful of my crossdressing; to the extent that I was ready to tell my wife. Unfortunately she found out before I was ready by a clothes order I'd made online. She's definately not very happy about it and said she never wants to see me dressed (though she saw a picture last night and liked it!) but her reaction was not the horror and disgust that my shame would have had me picturing. But this side of me that she has never known she finds troubling and together we are wrestling with becoming comfortable with my dressing, for myself, in private.

All the posts above mine have good advice. You are what you are. You didn't choose to be a crossdresser. But you can't help it and you can't deny it. You can try to for a while, but it will always come back b/c it is part of your nature, not just a habit or addiction you can "kick."

I know first hand your fear of getting caught - of an article of clothing being discovered. Now that my wife knows, even though she's not thrilled, I have no worries about anything being "discovered" b/c she knows what I'm up to. What a weight off my shoulders and conscience!

So Milla, you either live with the fear of getting caught, or you face your fear of whatever reaction you may get from telling people.

Sorry this was so long, but I feel for you b/c I was where you are so very recently and I wanted to share my experience on the matter. My thoughts and encouragement are with you! :hugs: