any behavioural changes after starting cding?

[urmilaaa2008]

This question may not be relevent to sisters who started cding from a young age. But some of us who realise at a later date that there is a femenine side inside us, and begin to try out cding, i want to know, if anybody has noticed any behaverial changes, either by themselves or by others and commented on it.

As for as I am concerned, since i began to dress up at 38, Ifound myself gradually becoming less agressive at my work place, and more empathatic towards others. another thing i noticed is I have become more emotional and dont even try to hide my emotions. these have also been noticed and commented on by others ,who are not aware of my cross dressing habits, since i have not ventured out yet, except of course lingerie, which i always use under my DRAB clothes .

I would like to know about your experiences
:hugs: Urmi

[Teri Jean]

Urmi, first off welcome to the forum. I really started to accept my feminine side later than some (58) and of those who I have told I am TG/TS said they could see the change but were not sure why. Another gg friend from the past said she was not surprised because I did not seem to fit the males in our group. For me I have fought or did not understand why I was different but when I did it was just natural to shift my attitude and mannerisms. Does that make sense?

By the why you have a interesting name, could I be so bold to ask where you are from or what it means? Have a wonderful day and huggs to you.

Teri

[crossdrezzer1]

yes,,, deffintly for me,, I learned after cding how to use the bathroom,, I have been a cd since at least the age of 4,, cant remember before that but know I did it,,, I have gotten more relaxed and also learned to deal with women and appriciate them more and knowing what they go thru daily like cordinating and makeup,, sometimes it can be such a pain just to exit the door so I have been more understanding,, not to mention jealous,,LOL

[urmilaaa2008]

thanks Teri and Amy
I am from India. Urmila i s a name of an atractive indian film actress. that is how i picked up that name. actually it is female charector from Hindu Epic "Ramayana" in Sanskrit laungage and i am sure it has a meaning, which unfortunately I dint know
hugs urmi

[Melissa Rose]

I've noticed some of my female personality traits migrating into my male personality in a good way. I believe it has made me a better person overall and more understanding and empathic. It's subtle, but it is there.

[chica310]

when texting i use the word yupperz (yes) from time to time lol

funny thing one of the first times i cd and i had to pee i did so standing up fully dressed

i wish i had a picture lol

[Marissa Anne]

Absolutely I've seen changes, in similar ways - less agressive, more empathy, happier...I've had severL comments from my staff and my wife...all good.

I see my acceptance of my female side as a great benefit not only to myself but others as well - most importantly, my wife. And I think those benefits help her deal with Marissa's existence within our relationship.

If there is no positive benefit, then why expect your SO to be happy with the changes?

I'm glad you're seeing positive changes too!

Marissa

[Joni Marie Cruz]

My wrists are limper, I walk like a girl, I stand funny, my voice is different, I have a lisp now, when I put my hands on my hips my thumbs face forward, I cokk my hip off to one side, I tend to bat my eyes, I just act more like a girl.

All observations by my wife. Suhweet!

Oh, this, btw, is what I call FSL...Femme Side Leakage. I don't know how much it happens to others, but it has been progressive for me over the past several years. I know some girls rigidly keep their two personas totally seperated, but for me, Joni and John are just more and more the same person.

As far as other things that are considered typically "feminine" like consideration of other's feelings, being kind and understanding for the most part, not hurting someone else merely for the sake of doing so, not being rude or inconsiderate simply because it's how guys are, I have always been that way.

Hugs...Joni Mari

And, oh yes, I had to mis-spell "cokk", as in "cokk my hip off to one side". This whole censorship thing is so silly. Suppose I meant ****, as in a rooster? Suppose I used the word petcock, as in a valve for releasing fluids from a container? Uhh, okay, we'll give that one a miss. But still, there are innocuous uses of the word **** that are not sexual or vulgar. Hah! Petcock got by! So having a petcock is okay! Good grief.

[SandyR]

Welcome to the Forum.

I think every CD will have some female type thingy's cross over it's natural and I do agree wih all the comments around how we tend to become softer/kinder in our words and actions. I know when my wife will ask if I mind that she does not put on makeup on a Sat, I know what she goes through it's ok to take a break.

As for me I had my first kinda experience when I was 12, but nothing until about 4 years ago and now I've had many a fun times since 2007. Other then my shaved legs that one friend did notice (and my wife defended - she loves the smooth legs) no one has said a word. I do catch my self every so often sitting a little to much like a ladie......hehehe

Sandy

[rachel1985]

Welcome to the Forum.

I think every CD will have some female type thingy's cross over it's natural and I do agree wih all the comments around how we tend to become softer/kinder in our words and actions. I know when my wife will ask if I mind that she does not put on make on a Sat, I know what she goes through it's ok to take a break.

As for me I had my first kinda experience when I was 12, but nothing until about 4 years ago and now I've had many a fun times since 2007. Other then my shaved legs that one friend did notice (and my wife defended - she loves the smooth legs) no one has said a word. I do catch my self every so often sitting a little to much like a ladie......hehehe

Sandy

I also noticed my aggressive side is not so aggressive, I'm more thoughtful before I speak, and that I also have changed the way I talk, walk, and act.

Even though i've been "male" for the past 3 years, I still think Rach has her moments and makes me shine for the best!

[Amanda_Robinson]

I understand my wife a lot more. :love:

[Jenniferpl]

I have a better understading of what it means to be a woman. I would say I am less aggressiveand more relaxed.

[Alice B]

Like Teri Jean I did not start until late in life, but there have been changes. I am softer, more accepting and very aware of my female side and not so afraid to hide it. my legs have to be shaved or I feel unkempt, I wear some make up whenever I think can, wear panties and hate the feel of normal underware. I notice how woman dress and freely tell attractive women that they look great. Commenting on their dress, shoes, etc.

[jazmine]

I've been into crossdressing since I was a kid. Probably two or three. I don't think I have any female traits, characteristics, or mannerisms when I'm in my everyday guy mode. Wait......my wife says that I'm like a girl because I like communicating. If there's a problem, I like to get it on the table , talk about it, and solve it. I really wouldn't consider this being a female thing, just a very logical trait for a human to have.

[MissConstrued]

Oh, this, btw, is what I call FSL...Femme Side Leakage.


I almost sprayed coffee all over my keyboard. Please be careful with stuff like that... it's dangerous! :heehee:


As for ****, well, that's just something you'll find on a farm... along with petcocks, cockerels, and cocky people. What poppycock.

[Kittykitty]

If it's leaking, get prepared to get called out on it!
My hips sway, they stick out to the side when I stand still, and yes, my hand goes on them immediately.... the limp wrist dangle happens to both hands constantly... voice goes high...

BUT all of these things happened 100 times a day BEFORE I started coming to terms with myself, only I would consciously cover them up. It feels much better letting the leak free. Do get called out on it from time to time. Last time, I gave the GG a click in the air, turned, and sashed my hips on out of there! LOL!

Think it puzzels people, b/c on some level, they know you're not quite gay... but then... what!?!?

... what INDEED!!! LOL!

[Frédérique]

This question may not be relevent to sisters who started cding from a young age. But some of us who realise at a later date that there is a femenine side inside us, and begin to try out cding, i want to know, if anybody has noticed any behaverial changes, either by themselves or by others and commented on it.

As for as I am concerned, since i began to dress up at 38, Ifound myself gradually becoming less agressive at my work place, and more empathatic towards others. another thing i noticed is I have become more emotional and dont even try to hide my emotions.


Definitely. I’m not aggressive by nature, but wearing female clothes creates a calm space I love to crawl into – it’s like being hugged by someone. I usually work in my studio all dressed up, and it helps me to concentrate for hours on end, not to mention how comfortable everything feels! When I leave this female envelope, the calmness stays with me for a long time.

The only person I come in contact with on a regular basis is my sister, and I’m always very sweet and helpful with her between trips to my magic closet. My sister watches a lot of sports on TV, mainly baseball and football, but I don’t, since I can barely tolerate typical male behavior. However, I wind up watching the games with her, and I’m polite about things for her sake. Its fun to point out brutish behavior on TV while I’m sitting next to my sister – she agrees with me, which may explain why I’m living in the same house with her and vice versa. I may eventually come out completely to her, but my secrets are very precious to me. In the meantime, my sister enjoys the company of her very atypical brother…

Like you, Urmi, I started dressing later than most, and I let my emotions show. The slightest little bit of beauty or feeling can make me cry, even in the ugliest of surroundings. But, I was like that before the dressing up began. I have a lot of emotional baggage, but in a good way…

[MarcieBflo]

I have caught myself using fem hand gesture's, the way i stand & walk i do not do it consciously, when i catch myself i stop, so far no one has noticed, i don't think . . . . . .

[Rachel Morley]

I would say there have been some behavioral changes in me since I've been dressing on a regular basis. Patience is the main one. Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying I didn't have any patience before because I did, but I'm saying I have way, way more patience now - for just about everything in life. It's like that old saying:

"Patience is a virtue catch it if you can, sometimes in a woman but never in a man!"

I'd also say that I'm a happier person (in a general sense) and I'm much more in tune with my emotions that I ever was before I started dressing. :)

[Veronica 1]

I always find myself going into my fem walk, it has almost become my normal to have that fem sway. I take a lot better care of my skin and personal hygiene has improved. I am more emotional and have no problem in expressing it. I often slip into my (poor) fem voice and fem hand mannerisms are becoming more common. My breasts have started to develop and while I should be trying to hide them at work, I find that I often stand chest out to see if anyone notices (gone from 36 negative to 36A). I have only been dressing for a bit more than three years.

[sometimes_miss]

As I started so early in life, I don't think so. I think it was more learning to continue to behave like a boy in public, while trying to learn how to be a girl in private. As I grew up, I often mixed up what I thought I was supposed to be doing, and feeling. When I met someone I was attracted to, I tried to be accomodating, submissive to her, and pick clothing I thought she would like me to wear; I would also try to get her to make the decisions about what to do and where to go, because I had listened to so many women complain about men 'not caring' about their opinions. But it was all behavior more appropriate for a woman to do, and I learned all that much too late in life.
I was also conditioned from an early age to be someone's girlfriend, to have sex as a girl, in the role of a girl. When I got to my teenage years, trying to behave as a normal guy became impossible; I can do it, but it was just an act, I learned to play the role of a 'standard issue guy'. I always felt, and still do, like I was supposed to be in the woman's role. It makes having sex......difficult.
So, yeah, my behavior is pretty screwed up.

[Danielle Gee]

My wrists are limper, I walk like a girl, I stand funny, my voice is different, I have a lisp now, when I put my hands on my hips my thumbs face forward, I cokk my hip off to one side, I tend to bat my eyes, I just act more like a girl.

that way.
Hugs...Joni Mari

Joni, Your posts always make me laugh.....You have one of the best sense of humors (?) in the group LOL:):)

[PaulaSF]

I'm a lil perplexed as to the "mash up" of comments on behaviors (i.e., something tangible/observable) and interior landscape sorts of emotional/mental changes, but I'd certainly say I've observed plenty of both, in myself, and other t-gals I've seen blossom & grow in their femme accomplishments...

I pay a lot more attention to my posture, 24/7: decades of "cool guy" male slouching doesn't help our cases!

I find I keep my knees, thighs, ankles together, 24/7: too much time out, in mini skirts?

I've also been a "gearhead" auto afficianado, and follow a "Drive it like you stole it," approach behind the wheel :devil: But my best t-gal pal, Sara, jokes about the sudden change, and my far less agressiveness behind the wheel, when we're en femme, and heading to the city, for an evening out.

And I've de-programmed myself from opening the door, for whoever I'm with, when we're both en femme...

Emotionally, I realise (my gender therapy helped, here) that I had done a lot of specifically macho things in my past (i.e., joining the Marine Corps), before accepting & embracing being TG, that were, in essence, ways to "make up for"/compensate my interior femme desires & landscapes.

I think there's more contentedness, and, perhaps, more networking/parallel, multiple sorts of connections (i.e., more femme), and less 1, 2, 3 type of "linear thinking" (male-like) in my approach to people and things now, too.

Definitely plenty 'o "FSL" going on in my life, too:)

cheers,
Paula

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Thank you, Danielle. If I didn't laugh I would just cry. I think this goes for lots of us.

Hugs...Joni Mari



Joni, Your posts always make me laugh.....You have one of the best sense of humors (?) in the group LOL:):)

[Susan.]

For years and years I have been what I consider to be a classic CD. Probably more masculine than many of us. I'm been married for a long time. It seems in the last year I've become more and more feminine. I don't know if it is. I know some of it is physical because of low hormone levels.

[Midnight Skye]

My wrists are limper, I walk like a girl, I stand funny, my voice is different, I have a lisp now, when I put my hands on my hips my thumbs face forward, I cokk my hip off to one side, I tend to bat my eyes, I just act more like a girl.

What Joni Said! I have always been more feminine in my body movement, emotions, speech, etc. But since I have really come out to the world it's been ALOT more pronounced. When enfem I move, talk, and emote super girly. Not over the top, but just right for who I am. When in drab I still play with my hair too much (I grew mine out to my shoulders) and fuss about my nails. I move gracefully, but not overly feminine... and my voice generally slides back to my masculine tone, but my speech patterns are the same.

For me I've realized my CD and non-CD self are merging quickly... and I'm going to end up an odd duck somewhere inbetween, but I'm happy with that at this point :battingeyelashes:

[Schatten Lupus]

My SO keeps telling me that I am acting differently. She doesn't give specifics, other than "more girly." I guess since it is me, I don't notice it that much, other than I work at keeping my hands soft, and use practically gallons of hand lotion since my job dries than out and callouses them badly.

[urmilaaa2008]

Definitely. I’m not aggressive by nature, but wearing female clothes creates a calm space I love to crawl into – it’s like being hugged by someone. I usually work in my studio all dressed up, and it helps me to concentrate for hours on end, not to mention how comfortable everything feels! When I leave this female envelope, the calmness stays with me for a long time.

The only person I come in contact with on a regular basis is my sister, and I’m always very sweet and helpful with her between trips to my magic closet. My sister watches a lot of sports on TV, mainly baseball and football, but I don’t, since I can barely tolerate typical male behavior. However, I wind up watching the games with her, and I’m polite about things for her sake. Its fun to point out brutish behavior on TV while I’m sitting next to my sister – she agrees with me, which may explain why I’m living in the same house with her and vice versa. I may eventually come out completely to her, but my secrets are very precious to me. In the meantime, my sister enjoys the company of her very atypical brother…

Like you, Urmi, I started dressing later than most, and I let my emotions show. The slightest little bit of beauty or feeling can make me cry, even in the ugliest of surroundings. But, I was like that before the dressing up began. I have a lot of emotional baggage, but in a good way…

yes dear, u r so correct, it has made me more polite also considerate. earlier I used to hog the TV and was viewing mostly News and Business channels. Wife was not very happy about it. Now I allow her to watch the soap operas and started liking it too.

Another point u made about crying Frédérique, yes, now a days, not only I am more emotional, I am not ashamed to show it and make no effrort to hide them. first time when I had tears in my eye while watching a very emotional scene on TV, my wife noticed it, she didnt say anything, but just put her arm around my shoulders, and gently patted my hand with her other hand . Later she said that she was surprised, since she has never seen me crying. She was correct earlier I used to feel bad but never showed it and definetely not cried. But I have a feeling she liked me better for that
:hugs: urmi

[linda1977]

I don't think I have any noticeable behavioural changes when I'm in female mode, other than peace and comfort within me. I always felt feminine even when in male mode, and I'm not that good as acting as a regular male anyway (I'm not the one to talk about girls the way men do, nor do I go out drinking with guys often), but none of the guys suspect my feminine leanings as I have a "nutty" personality which serves me well.

(BTW, it's been ages since I posted here, but I'm glad to be back with you gals!) :love:

[Kara Connor]

I'm not openly CD so in my everyday life I don't think I'm very "femme". On the rare occasions my wife has seen me dressed she said that my whole body language changed, which is intesresting since it is hard to judge your own demeanor. I don't particularly try to be super-girly when dressed so I suppose it is just something that comes out, and adds to the enjoyment.

[urmilaaa2008]

I'm not openly CD so in my everyday life I don't think I'm very "femme". On the rare occasions my wife has seen me dressed she said that my whole body language changed, which is intesresting since it is hard to judge your own demeanor. I don't particularly try to be super-girly when dressed so I suppose it is just something that comes out, and adds to the enjoyment.

You r correct Kara. once we accept ourselves and your SO [I]also accepts, femme comes out automatically and we dont need to "perticularly try" as u said. It is all natural.
[FONT="Century Gothic"]And one more thing all my friends might have noticed by going thro' this thread, that if any change has occured after cding, it is all positive, and not only they have realised it, even their SOs have noticed it and welcomed it. Not even a single negative behavioural change has been observed. Shouldn't we all be happy and relieved

:thumbsup::love: Urmi

[Pattie O]

I think I cross my legs and hold my hands in a more feminine way (even in drab) without really thinking about it but sometimes feel as though people may notice this.Some older kids used to always call me a girl when I was young and so I must have showed some feminine traits even though what I was doing was often very masculine past times eg football /camping etc(or was this just bullying).I think it helps to feel some feminine qualities when crossdressing because it helps the experience feel more real and does shift your attitude away from being macho hence reducing stress in some situations
Pattie:daydreaming:

[Sarah Doepner]

Does drinking less beer count?

Most of my real behavior changes showed up after I came out to my wife. I was way too conflicted before that and the stress of hiding out made me a jerk much of the time. Now I'm a much nicer jerk I guess.

I do find it easier to comfort others now. It's not uncommon to see me with my legs crossed at the knee rather than ankle on knee. I take better care of my nails and skin and my health in general than before. That probably relates to wanting to drop a size or two so I can fit into some of those cute things I still can't wear. I've never been very agressive, but it used to bother me, but not much now.

[Crysten]

[QUOTE=Joni Marie Cruz;1825982]My wrists are limper, I walk like a girl, I stand funny, my voice is different, I have a lisp now, when I put my hands on my hips my thumbs face forward, I cokk my hip off to one side, I tend to bat my eyes, I just act more like a girl.

All observations by my wife. Suhweet!

Oh, this, btw, is what I call FSL...Femme Side Leakage. I don't know how much it happens to others, but it has been progressive for me over the past several years. I know some girls rigidly keep their two personas totally seperated, but for me, Joni and John are just more and more the same person.

As far as other things that are considered typically "feminine" like consideration of other's feelings, being kind and understanding for the most part, not hurting someone else merely for the sake of doing so, not being rude or inconsiderate simply because it's how guys are, I have always been that way.

Hugs...Joni Mari

I have to say I'm experiencing many of the things Joni is. My Fem side is a LOT stronger now than it ever was before, in fact I need to watch myself and what I'm doing as I'm pretty sure if I was to just "let it go" the cat would be out of the bag right quick. Joni doesn't seem to have a bag. LOL. For the cat to be out of, that is. LOL. Which is very, very, cool, if you ask me :)

Crysten

[Kara Connor]

Urmi, I like how you said "once we accept ourselves .. femme comes out. It is all natural". Nicely summarized.

[Kerigirl2009]

Definately more patience since I have come out to my wife, I too will sit sith my knees together, even cross my legs more in public. I am very conscious about my skin and for that matter hair. I feel less agressive and dont seem to care if my point is not heard or accepted as much as I did. However I do like to be acknowledged still.

[urmilaaa2008]

I came across the thread in which it was said that cross dressers are self centered. I can to say with all my coviction that only self centered persons cross dress is far from the truth, if anything it is the other way round. If a self centered person starts crossdressing, actually it makes him more considerate towards others and even starts apreciating others point of view, and more accomidative..
Cross dressing is no different than a man wanting a nice suit and wears it and without causing any harm or hurt to anybody. If u dont label him as self centered how can we be labeled as self centered?
Even though there was nothing personal in that, it hurt me a little, just to think that somebody may think of me as self centered. I would like ur views on this please
:hugs:

[vjaducd]

When I dress as c.d.in enfem I get soft feelings & I ever work with full efficiency in normal male mode . Also I can better understand others problems/feelings &likings/dislikings
vjaducd

[charlie]

Hello Urmillaaa!
I am 59 and also am a late dresser. I dressed early in life, stopped, dressed again and stopped for 17 years.
Over the last two years the pink fog has descended and I can't stop! Changes have been my walking, sitting posture and yes, my emotions. I'm also very interested in style and fashion shows on television. Fixated on high heels as well! When I look at a woman on the street I study her walk, makeup, clothes and finally what she looks like. I'm no longer the letch I used to be by starting with her legs and tush! All these changes require mental and physical effort to control when in the presence of business associates and friends that do know know the real Charlie!

[urmilaaa2008]

I've been into crossdressing since I was a kid. Probably two or three. I don't think I have any female traits, characteristics, or mannerisms when I'm in my everyday guy mode. Wait......my wife says that I'm like a girl because I like communicating. If there's a problem, I like to get it on the table , talk about it, and solve it. I really wouldn't consider this being a female thing, just a very logical trait for a human to have.

I can tell u, dear jaz when having a problem, putting on table and ad discussing with others to gert a solution, is not so logical as u think. I never used to be open with my problems earlier and my male ego was coming in the way to admit there is a problem and need help to solve. Of course i have changed noe.
U think it is logical and not female thing, because u startrd as a kid and came naturally to u.
:love:

[Sylvermane]

For me nothing but positive changes. I've always known something was off for myself. Never fit the average guy profile in any way other than physically. Once I realized what was going on in my head and more importantly that it was okay, something this site has helped me tremendously with I have been much better. Far less aggressive, very laid back and relaxed. CD'ing has become a regular part of my life whenever possible and I'm in much better shape for it, emotionally in particular. It's as close as I can get to what I know I should be / have been but getting that close has made a world of difference in my outlook on life.

[urmilaaa2008]

Girls, I came across a very interesting site. even though it may not be connected with the title of this thread, i am posting the link. after going thro' i welcome ur comments
http://www.tri-ess.org/Wives_CDs_BofR.html
love

[urmilaaa2008]

Today, in a thread by satin_lover she had a given a link to a quiz to find out "how girly u r". In the same site there were quite a few other quizs and i took that and was pleasently surprised to know my score. If i had taken thesame quiz 4 years back the results would have been entirely different. this shows the effect cross dressing had on me. it showed up so many traits i have picked up after my cding.
i am giving the results here.

when i took http://blogthings.com/whatgenderisyourbrainquiz/
the result was surprising but so pleasing .

it was : Your Brain is 93% Female, 7% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're empathetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice.[/QUOTE]

It is turning out be a very nicequiz site. here is another result of another quiz
http://blogthings.com/areyoumasculineorfemininequiz

You Are 89% Feminine, 11% Masculine

You are totally in touch with your feminine side.
Chances are, you are a very typical woman.
You are emotionally aware, and you feel deeply.
And if you're a guy, then you're just super sensitive.

another quiz result http://blogthings.com/whatsyourinnergenderquiz/

You Inner Gender is Female

You're sensitive, caring, and willing to connect with anyone who's open to you.
You make friends easily, and you enjoy all sorts of conversations.
You understand most people you meet - better than they understand themselves.
You're totally a woman... or at the very least, your soul is female.



You Communicate Like a Woman

You empathize, talk things out, and express your emotions freely.
You're a good listener, and you're non-judgmental with your advice.
Communication is how you connect with people.
You're always up for a long talk, no matter how difficult the subject matter is.

:hugs::love:

[Cathytg]

I started dressing at age 4 (I am now 64) so I can not rrelate to your question. But I wish I could. I can't help but drift into the "what if..." frame of mind at times. I am sure that I would have exhibited different behaviors during my life and who knows where I would be now?

[urmilaaa2008]

I started dressing at age 4 (I am now 64) so I can not rrelate to your question. But I wish I could. I can't help but drift into the "what if..." frame of mind at times. I am sure that I would have exhibited different behaviors during my life and who knows where I would be now?

amazing, u started at 4. how did it start dear, was ur mother who started to dress u up as a girl? or ur sisters. if u r doing since such a long time i expect u would have comeout and living now as woman full time

[Samantha43]

I have been crossdressing since my early teens and had thoughts of wearing girls clothes as far back as I can remember. Because of that, I don't think I have changed at all. I try.....with difficulty.....to act more feminine when I'm dressed, but I don't think it carries over to my male self.