little brother cd's to!!!!!!!!

[kobe]

First No body in my family knows i dress. I went home to visit over the last week and my little brother still lives at home. My room is now my brothers room and I spent the week sleeping in that room well he slept on the couch down stairs.

I was talking to my mom alone in the kitchen on the third day and she said... "i keep finding womens clothes in your brothers room, i never hear any girls come in or out at night or in the morning. I would just like to meet the girls that are spending the night. Can you ask him to introduce me to this girl."

That night i tore my brothers room apart and found his not so secret stash. The werent used, most were new clothes and they were all his size. In the bag was also a halloween wig, lipstick, some women running shoes.

I never said anything to him or anyone, but it made me happy about dressing and i have to wonder does dressing run in the family OR was it a magical room that turns all men into fem-men?

(p.s. For those wondering I definitly dressed better when i was that age, and he has a long style road to go.)



AHHHHHHHHHHHHH....I now fear that he might be on this thread

[Veronica Nowakowski]

bond, baby, bond!

[serinalynn]

you gotta go meet your little "sister"

[Veronica Nowakowski]

Actually, if you both came out at once, your parents could really say nothing about it, they can't be all:

"Why can't you be more like your broth..... oh....."

[Angie G]

Like Veronica said Bond. You girls could be best girlfriends. :hugs:
Angie

[RachelZ]

Oh my God that is so cute!! I wish I had a little sister to hang out and do girl stuff with.:daydreaming:

[TJ Tresa]

It seems to me that you missed a very good chance to let your little brother know, and let him know that there is someone he can talk to about all this. You could help him not make as many mistakes as the rest of us have made.
I suggest that you call your brother have him over for the weekend and tell him you found his clothes, that your mom had said something about female cloting in his room and asked you to talk to him. Any way the two of you could be so much closer than you ever had. thnk about it, you could have a sister as well as a brother.

[Wen4cd]

Dig that, you can be brothers OR sisters at will!

[Chiana]

Wow, I don't see how you could have left without talking to him. Imagine how great it would have been, when you were his age, to have someone to talk to that would be accepting.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Kobe, with you gone your brother is probably feeling the same kinds of stress that you felt while living here, which created your cross dressing behavior. He may have known about your secret but didn't let on because he saw that it helped you to cope. Now he's doing the same thing. Sit him down in private and have a heart to heart. Maybe by exchanging information you can figure out what initially caused this cross dressing behavior. Help him seek out outside counseling. Help him like you would have wanted to be helped. And in doing so you will help yourself.

Be safe. Be smart. Be helpful and understanding.

Dawn Marrie.

[docrobbysherry]

Why u wouldn't take the opportunity to talk to him, has ME confused!:eek:

I would have JUMPED at such an opportunity!

Wait! How old r u? And your brother? If you're many years apart, that can reduce closeness and communication between siblings!:straightface:

[Barbara918]

I foresee some really fun shopping excursions!

[CharlotteW]

When backed into a corner maybe the young 'un would clam up and deny all knowledge, unless he's an uber modern 17+ year old of course.
I may approach it from a different angle, maybe the 'third person' angle like "I have a friend who wears girls clothes. He's says it's fun and enjoyable but tries to keep it a secret. It's a shame really 'cos some of his friends and family know about what he does and they still like and respect him".

[kobe]

we are five years apart and hes 18. I didnt say anything, because although i'm a very comfortable cd and care to much to have people find out. I also dont really feel like i want anyone to know i do it. If i dont want anyone to know, he probably feels the same.

It would be more weird for the two of us to talk about it. I dont think i ever want to be dressed around my brother or really talk to him about it, or see him dressed. I am oddly however comfortable about think about dressing around friends or strangers or my friends or strangers dressing.

I do support him, but it was just be weird for me.

[Penelope Marie]

Personally, i would have to know and let him know we are in the same boat. so if he need some one to confide in he would come to me

[Midnight Skye]

Hey Kobe, I understand what you mean. I am the oldest... and I have five younger brothers. And the thought of talking to any of them about my crossdressing/feminine side is TERRIFYING. With that said... if I found out one of them crossdressed I would soooo have to talk to them. But thats just me.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Hi Kobe,
Shame on you! How would you like it if some one had rummaged through your secret stash? But, also congratulations too for having a CD sister. Just have a wonderful chat with him/her. You lucky things both of you.

[Gerard]

It seems to me that you missed a very good chance to let your little brother know, and let him know that there is someone he can talk to about all this. You could help him not make as many mistakes as the rest of us have made.
I suggest that you call your brother have him over for the weekend and tell him you found his clothes, that your mom had said something about female cloting in his room and asked you to talk to him. Any way the two of you could be so much closer than you ever had. thnk about it, you could have a sister as well as a brother.
I agree with this. I think you need to let your brother know, and to tell him what your mother is thinking. Then take it from there.

I'd go something along the lines of: You know mom found this and that, and now she thinks ..., but I think this and that because that's what I used to do myself.

Your message sounds like it's a relief to you that the CDing seems to run in the family. I think you owe your brother that.

[Sally2005]

I think you can support your brother without asking or telling. He may not be ready to share it with anyone and it could be embarrasing for him and may feel violated that someone searched his room. If the topic comes up, just say you think it is pretty cool and amazing how some people can transform. Or take a holiday like halloween to dress up and see if he wants to do it.

[Megan_Okana]

Thats awesome hun, I bet both of you can share your burden. I know It felt a lot better when i met with someone to share my secret with

[Jacquie]

Are you kidding? Everyone has to do it at his or her own speed and it that means they NEVER come out that's their choice. Get a grip!

[Shikyo]

Are you kidding? Everyone has to do it at his or her own speed and it that means they NEVER come out that's their choice. Get a grip!

So there is something wrong in wanting to help your little brother through this? No matter how inside a closet you are I don't think there is going to be anyone who wouldn't accept the help of your own brother/sister who is being fully supportive about this.

It is true, that you shouldn't try to speed their process they want to get involved into the matter, but I really don't see anything wrong in offering help to your brother.

To thread start: What a pleasant surprise you have gotten. I don't know how I would react in a case like that, but for sure I would be willing to help. I'm surprised you haven't talked to you brother about this matter yet, because I'm sure he would love to know that he isn't alone. There is not need to be forceful about the matter, just tell you that you found and that his not the only one doing it. Then just offer your help as the older and more experience crossdresser. Maybe one day you will be able to go outside together, which is most likely going to be a lot fun.

[Aeva]

Hey, I'm not your brother, but here's to be from his perspective;

I'm a younger "brother" of two siblings; my older "brother" is now a fully transitioned FTM, and I keep going back and fourth on if I want to myself or not...

I'm not out to anyone in my family, and I've made a (misguided) effort to force myself into masculinity since my elder sibling came out...

I say if you're gonna tell anyone first, tell your brother. It'll make things much easier for the both of you in the long run.

And if ze tries to weasel out of it, mention the cloths, and let him/her know you can be trusted with it.


I really wish my elder sibling told me before she came out to my folks... I think I would be a lot further along in my own journey if I had someone to confide with earlier.

[Carroll]

Hi Kobe,
Shame on you! How would you like it if some one had rummaged through your secret stash? But, also congratulations too for having a CD sister. Just have a wonderful chat with him/her. You lucky things both of you.

That was my first thought!:D

[Shelly Preston]

Well it does look like you have a little sister

As has been suggested you could write a letter to your brother saying you are cool with the idea he may be a crossdresser, given your Mom has found some clothes

You can choose to tell or not tell about yourself but you need to think how you feel about that. Also you need to think about telling your Mom you are a crossdresser (as she may find out if you tell your brother)
How will your brother react ?
How will you Mom react to the news if she gets confirmation of either or both of you crossdressing ?

I would think long and hard before making any decision but I am sure you can tell your Mom not to worry :)

[Jill]

I personally think that you should approach this with caution and discretion. When I was 18 I was incredibly ashamed of my CDing. If I had an older brother that approached me about it, I would have been absolutely mortified, even if he was also a CDer and was trying to be supportive, helpful or whatever.

[kobe]

I have to say that back then if some one had found my stash and confronted me, even if the roles were reversed and he was the older brother i would deny everything. I think at that age if my brother comes in and says he knows and he is one to, i would deny.

I also feel if anyone did find out back then, i would have stopped right away and felt ashamed, no matter who found out and if they were to. I know i would have stopped and probably would have spiraled down.

I believe everyone has their own personal journey and for me this part of it needed to be done allown.

I understand that some of you want the world to know, but some of us dont. The ones that dont arn't ashamed and dont feel like we are in the closet we just dont want it to be public.

I find the term in the closet offensive, as some people arn't hiding they just arn't running around.

[Mrs. X (gg)]

Well....may I suggest don't make this about him but about you trying to confide in him you're a CDer and that you just want him to support you as your brother because you really need to come out to someone and who better than him. You know reverse pshycology.

Don't force him to say or accept nothing about him, but start to bond as like he's the one who's being there for you.

And perhaps you and him can shop together (only to support you remember). When he feels comfortable he will tell you. :hugs:

[sterling12]

I agree with some of the others. Ladies try and imagine your 17 again. It is probable that no matter how well thought out, no matter how accepting and enlightened the person who is initiating the exchange, it's probably going to just be a "denial, and let's turn surly teen" conversation.

My "OPINION?" I say leave him be, but you might drop a few hints. But, put him on The Defensive, and it's probably just a lost cause. I have a friend who found out the same info about his younger brother. That was thirty years ago, and still little brother denies! Their time together at family events is always strained, and my friend has a lot of regrets about it.

But, to get back to your original message. I think there might be "a Joker in The Deck." I think your Mom already knows or has a darn good idea. I think she probably already knows that you "indulged." It's very hard to fool mom, especially if both of you have/had been "borrowing." I would imagine she brought this information up with you for several reasons. Don't be surprised if she finally confronts one or both of you about it. "The I want to know about this girl" ruse may have been her way of opening up dialog....with both of you!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Julogden]

You need to have a talk with your brother. If you don't want him to know that you know about him, just come out to him about your own CD'ing and see where things go.

But if I were you, I'd clue him in that the family is wondering about the girl's clothes in his room, and let him know that you don't care if he's a CD too.

Carol

[Crysten]

I think.......well, what everyone else said. He's your brother. He will ALWAYS be your brother.

Is it better to hide? Or to be open? Especially since both of you are CD/TG.

He's terrified 1) your parents will find out
2) YOU will find out

It sickens me to think you would waste this opportunity. You must not be very close to your family. What a shame :sad:.

Crysten

[Emmalee_Summers]

Thats nice, now you have a little sister to go shopping with

[Kara Connor]

I like Mrs. X suggestion that you confide in him. No need to say the family are suspicious of him though. I could see that you might not want to be dressed in each other's company - that might be weird (to you I mean, I am not saying it is) - but it would be great to be able to talk to each other, I would have thought.

[Nicole Erin]

Things like this hare hard with male relatives.
In my family, I will talk with my sisters, step mom, and mom about my TG side but the guys in the family like my brother or nephews, they all know but we just do not talk about it. As far as I know, I am the only TG in my family.

I guess it is a little too bad that the brothers/siters could not have talked about this but maybe neither of them are ready.

18 and 23, they are both still pretty young. Give it time.

[Stephanie Heplby]

As a few others have noted, you have created a slightly difficult situation by ransacking his room and 'discovering' his 'secret'. (I only use scare quotes because it seems you were hardly the first to discover it, making it a bit less than secret.)

The reality is that you violated his privacy in a way that could be incredibly hurtful, if handled improperly. Naturally, you will be incredibly sensitive, based on your own experience, but I could not pass the opportunity to point out the obvious.

Again, restating some other recommendations, it might be very hurtful to 'out' him. It would be better to create a 'space' (meaning emotional and physical) in which he can feel accepted by you and can trust you. This might be done by confiding your own practices to him. You might go out on the town with him and talk about clothes, highlighting the feminine clothes you prefer, creating a 'soft' out for both yourself and him.

Definitely begin to engage your brother, but do not force him (which definitely seems to be willyornot's concern above in post #15). Give him space, while giving support.

This is a tough act. Good luck.

[Gerard]

Things like this hare hard with male relatives.
In my family, I will talk with my sisters, step mom, and mom about my TG side but the guys in the family like my brother or nephews, they all know but we just do not talk about it. As far as I know, I am the only TG in my family.

I guess it is a little too bad that the brothers/siters could not have talked about this but maybe neither of them are ready.

18 and 23, they are both still pretty young. Give it time.
Yeah. Men don't talk about these things. I think the OP should just do a factual communication, so his younger brother knows, and then leave it open if further talking happens.
I do think the younger brother needs a warning that his mom is onto something, and he has an ally in his brother in a way that he might not have expected. You could even stage a scene, where the next time the younger brother visits the older one, enough clues are left that he will find out that his older brother is a CD too. That leaves the choice to talk about it up to him, but he'll still know he's not alone. Even with that the older brother should tell about the suspicions that mom has.

I can totally imagine a setup to have the younger brother discover the older brother's stash (or a few items of it), and then the older brother commenting on mom finding female items and thinking about hidden girlfriends and that the younger brother should hide those items better. A setup I can think of, is asking the younger brother to get a towel or a dish towel from a cupboard or washing line, and there also happen to be some pink panties there. ;-)

[Jaclyn NM]

Have you thought of opening up to him? It might be nice for both of you. As far as if it runs in the family, I don't think so, but that's just my opinion.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Kobe, That's all so neat,Kobe. It's just one opinion but I think dressing is hormonal or neurological and that it runs in families. But maybe you should wait until he's a little older like for just a year or two before you open up to him. He could be very nervous and touchy about his dressing and having anybody find out about it,even people who are sympathizers. When I was his age I was often in denial about CD'ing and I even lied about doing it to people who would've made cool CD'ing freinds. Just wait a little while and kind of observe him. He'll be more receptive later on and then it could actually be mutually advantageous to open up to him. Even the best of siblings argue over silly things like "Who drank my coke" or "I know you took the TV remote,you clown" but sibling freindships what run deep make life easier as you get older.

[cd_jamie]

i remember my mother finding my stash when I was 14..... she had tossed my room looking for drugs. if she had found a bag od weed I think she would have delt with that better than panties bras and a skirt

I would talk to your brother. let him know your mom foun d his stash. if he is cd'ing he is not hurting anyone. I dont know how close you and your lilttle bro are but if it was my little brother I could have talked to him and it would have been cool.

[sandra diaz]

Confront your brother and tell him your secret and explain him that there is nothing wrong about cross-dressing, maybe he opens out and tells you his secret

[Chiana]

I was/am an only child so I really can't speak from experience of dealing with a sibling. I can only relate to what I would have done or been open to if I was his age again. Like I said in an earlier post, I think you should talk to him. But I think it might be wrong to try to confront him by bringing up his CDing or that your Mom found some of his clothes. But I think you could approach him with your "secret" while you are in drab mode. That way, he would not really be pressured into revealing his "secret" but he might want to learn more from you and this might give him a gradual way to finally open up to you. When I was his age, I wouldn't have wanted to be confronted with my CDing but I would have been really fascinated with the opportunity to explore more.

[Joann0830]

Hun I would have asked him as your Mom said and told him about yourself. It really is a great feeling for anyone to be able to open up especially if it is your Brorther, You can even invite him over and share a Sister to Siter Day. You can give hime some advice on clothing or makeup. You both could have a ball. "Go with the Force" Have fun. Good Luck, I have a friend who just found out his son is a CDM and I advised him the same and his son felt a great lift off his shoulders. Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love: