Things that bother me about crossdressing

[Frédérique]

It’s very hot here in Kansas at the moment, and thunderstorms are on the way. I thought up this thread on a trip to the local Wal-Mart last night. This is not a rant, it’s just a bunch of random things involving crossdressing that bother me or make me uncomfortable (some of you may agree):

1. Petticoat punishment. I hate the idea of making boys wear girl’s clothes for the purposes of punishment, in fact I hate the words “punishment” and “crossdressing” in the same sentence! Dressing up a boy just to make him cry and adjust his behavior towards girls is cruel, IMHO. Even worse is this – if the boy likes being dressed up (or enjoys being punished this way), the real punishment begins…

2. Being labeled a “pervert.” I can think of worse labels, but this is the product of weak minds. In my profession, fine art, perversion is a badge of honor – I guess that makes me a double pervert. I wear my perversions with pride (pun intended)…

3. Men in drag. I mean men who should know better, like J. Edgar Hoover and Rudy Giuliani. Exceptions are Divine, Monty Python (all of them), and Vince Clarke of Erasure.

4. Men who dress up as women, yet retain their maleness. This is not the same as “drag.” I call it having a chip on your shoulder-pad. Can we please leave the males at the door? Thanks…

5. Not being younger. I could have dressed up and passed much easier when I was young, and I could have been absolutely spectacular, like those amazing UK trannies. Nowadays I can only hope to pass as a frumpy librarian…

6. Confusion over definitions. What’s in a word? When I began, I feared the word “transvestite,” preferring “cross-dresser.” But, when I first put on a wig and experimented with lipstick and make-up, I knew I was a transvestite, simple as that. When I came out, I emphatically said “I’m a transvestite,” and I’m very comfy with the word. Definitions are still being debated, even here in our little confined space. I blame regional homophobia for this cloudiness – people should know better.

7. Boys. I see boys walking around in these really wide-legged long shorts, and I get my hopes up – could he actually be wearing a skirt? No, it’s only a pair of shorts, but he’s so close! Also, why is it when a boy wears girl’s clothes (for a laugh), 99 times out of 100 he grabs his chest, sticks out his rear end, and clomps around, well, just like a boy? See “Men in drag” above…

8. Cures. I recently read a book about our precious parallel universe, and I came across a chapter titled “What to do about crossdressing.” I started to read it, but when I came to the part about wearing diving suits and putting plastic bags over my head, I slowed down a bit. However, when I came upon the word “Prozac,” I put the book away…
What to do about crossdressing? I don’t know – how about ENJOY IT?!!!!!! Just a thought…

Non-rant over. I feel better now – I’m indoors where it’s cool and feminine…

So, what bothers you about crossdressing?

Sincerely, Freddy :angel:

[Fab Karen]

Glad to see it isn't one of those self-loathing rants.
Watch out for those twisters, I hear they can carry you over the rainbow.:)

[RachelZ]

I miss being able to grow facial hair. I will not dress if I'm not clean shaven. I've been having an on and off goatee race with my best friend for two years now. I just get so jealous when I'm around him.:sad: But I do look prettier without it...

[sissystephanie]

The only thing that bothers me about crossdressing now is not having my dear late wife around to fix my wig and do my makeup!:sad: But I just go without, and enjoy myself anyway!

[linnea]

I just love crossdressing and being transgendered. There are some annoying things about it, more about people's attitudes and misconceptions about it. But for the most part it is a wonderful way of life.

[Ras]

I hate the stereo typical label we get that we are perverted , gay or messed up.

[Tora]

I love the freedom of expression, of exploration, of perfecting our hobby. I sometimes feel distress that at 60 years, I will not become as good as many others here. Like I never will become competitive at Golf. This is because Golf comes way after Dressing in the time available, and Dressing is quite a way down the list. As great as it is, as much as I love shopping for the clothes, the lingerie. My bride deserves more time. My grandsons deserve more time, as do my grown children. My wifes family is large, loving, active and always has something fun planned. The seasons in Michigan offer many pleasent oppertunities, for family. Oh, I almost forgot... work, Even if it does not pay as well as it has over the years, I still have a challanging job.


This group offers alot, more that I could ever THANK, everyone enough. Sorry, I love our hobby, but I have not been able to spend as much time in the pursuit, as I would like. Thanks to you I can admire the adventure of others.

[LilSissyStevie]

Maybe you could learn to be more tolerant or at least just worry about yourself. :2c:

[Cheshire Gummi]

I would like to file away the idea of absolute feminization under that which annoys me.

The people who talk about emasculating the world and turning all men into "sissies," and then rationalize it as something more than a fetishistic fantasy.

It would solve nothing and improve nothing to have that happen. I've noticed that some propose it as some kind of solution rather than an individual's desire.

Same goes with anyone who thinks that way, really. Adult and teen babies who think the world would be better if it was just "babies and mommies." Bondage lovers who insist that submission and domination would make for a healthier society.

I'm tired of other peoples fantasies being presented as the great answer that will save us all rather than the ludicrous, biased daydreams they are. It's counter-productive and it spits in the eyes of individuality, empathy, and understand; something that most of those sorts of people gripe about because others wouldn't grant it to them.

My thought, anyway. I know it's not worth a hillock of mashed potatoes and giblet gravy, but hey... it's here anyway.

[Ralph]

OK, I'll bite... what's your beef with guys who like to be guys in dresses? Some of us are proud to be all man, only we wish there weren't such narrow cultural limitations on what is acceptable for us to wear.

[Penelope Marie]

what i hate about cross dressing is the labels and misunderstandings and those people who want to label me with out educating themselves about being T/G or CD or any thing else. those people who automatically assume i am gay because i prefer womans clothing to males. really if the truth be known i prefer being in a womans body to a mans. Mens bodies are so ugly to me. all that nasty hair on their bodies, just grosses me out. i hate the religious people who aren't even real Christians who thump their bibles and tell me i am hell bound because i don't like or feel comfortable in the shell i am in as if i chose to be T/G, i don't feel any of us chose to be T/G . i don't hate being who i am as a T/G i hate who i am as a male.

[sandra-leigh]

4. Men who dress up as women, yet retain their maleness. This is not the same as “drag.” I call it having a chip on your shoulder-pad. Can we please leave the males at the door? Thanks…



Not meaning to "argue", Frédérique, but this forum includes people (such as myself) who are "neither fish nor fowl" -- that is, whose gender is not strictly male, and whose gender is not strictly female. To a first approximation, I am an androgyne, pretty close to the middle if you view gender as a line between male and female. When I "dress up as a woman", I am outwardly expressing my internal femaleness -- but I remain the same person, and that person also has internal maleness. Female clothes but still with "male" habits and behaviours is normal for me, not an act and not "because I'm not trying hard enough" to be "completely female". Being "completely female" is not the goal of some of us: some of us are just being ourselves.

[kellycan27]

Just sitting here wondering.... What qualifies someone as "a man who should know better"?

[Sophie Lynne]

What bothers me is the stigma and knowing that if caught, my career is over and possibly my family life.

And yet here i am...

[MissConstrued]

4. Men who dress up as women, yet retain their maleness. This is not the same as “drag.” I call it having a chip on your shoulder-pad. Can we please leave the males at the door? Thanks…



How do you propose I do that? Shall I just pop them off, ftpp-ftpp, and toss them in a bowl when I come in... and retrieve them later?

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but dictionary.com defines male as


a person bearing an X and Y chromosome pair in the cell nuclei and normally having a penis, scrotum, and testicles, and developing hair on the face at adolescence; a boy or man.

And this little blurb under "man:"


Man, male, gentleman are nouns referring to adult human beings who are biologically male; that is, physiologically equipped to initiate conception but not to bear children.

I did not notice anything about clothing, nor was there any reference to what one feels oneself to be.





Female clothes but still with "male" habits and behaviours is normal for me,


So just to clarify, store clerks should address one's clothing, and not one's habits and behaviors? And was it your clothes, rather than your habits and behaviors, that were offended by the honorific "Sir?"

I admit considerable personal confusion on this one. :brolleyes:

[NathalieX66]

What bothers me is the stigma and knowing that if caught, my career is over and possibly my family life.

And yet here i am...

Unfortunately I'm in the same boat. I know me & you know you, yet I do not have a clue how to explain this to the rest of the world. I will honestly say, that daily I witness the behavior of common everyday people observe an elderly crossdresser in a small northen NJ town walking the sidewalk (I won't say where), and I have to put myself in that person's shoes for a moment , which I have seen a number of near accidents involving motor vehicle vs. pedestrian because of this peculiar situation, for whatever the reasons may be.
I'm from a pretty liberal minded east coast city where people accept gay & lesbian couples like anyone else......but CROSSDRESSERS? That is pretty frightening to the average folk.

[Princess Chantal]

- Crossdressing peers that are obsessed with "passing" *note that crossdressing peers refers to crossdressers and not those that are actually transitioning or plan to be.
- People assuming that I have the mindset of a feminine person when I am dressed. "Hey look, nice bright white snow! Wonder if I could still write my name while in these heels!"
- Being constantly hit on by crossdressers that in the open they keep on referring to theirselves as heterosexual.
- Being groped by mtf transsexuals that refer to theirselves as "lesbians"
- People correcting theirselves when referring to a group of us. for example; "you guys..... errrrrr girls have fun now!" I am totally cool with "you guys" or "you girls"..... but the correcting, is so annoying.

[Sammy777]

OK, I'll bite... what's your beef with guys who like to be guys in dresses? Some of us are proud to be all man.

Very well put Ralph.
I really have to give it up for you and the few others in here who are with ease and happy to be a "man in a dress".
I think it takes a lot of guts to do that.


Not meaning to "argue", Frédérique, but this forum includes people (such as myself) who are "neither fish nor fowl" -- that is, whose gender is not strictly male, and whose gender is not strictly female.
To a first approximation, I am an androgyne, pretty close to the middle if you view gender as a line between male and female. When I "dress up as a woman", I am outwardly expressing my internal femaleness -- but I remain the same person, and that person also has internal maleness. Female clothes but still with "male" habits and behaviours is normal for me, not an act and not "because I'm not trying hard enough" to be "completely female". Being "completely female" is not the goal of some of us: some of us are just being ourselves.

Soooooooooo Just how exactly is a stranger supposed to know what your personal mixture of guy/girl is on any given day? Especially when your clothes might say one thing but your behavior might be saying something completely different?

Seems to me, you can send some pretty mixed signals on some days but expect everybody around you to just know what it is your feeling that day.



How do you propose I do that? Shall I just pop them off, ftpp-ftpp, and toss them in a bowl when I come in... and retrieve them later?

Sorry MC, but I think that only happens after your married and I believe its the wifes job, not yours* :lol2: :lol2:

[*Just kidding Ladies :D]



So just to clarify, store clerks should address one's clothing, and not one's habits and behaviors? And was it your clothes, rather than your habits and behaviors, that were offended by the honorific "Sir?"

I admit considerable personal confusion on this one. :brolleyes:

Agreed, it seems like some out there need to send a clearer picture or be prepared to not gripe when misjudged.



Just sitting here wondering.... What qualifies someone as "a man who should know better"?

Since when does any man know better? :heehee: :lol2:

[MissConstrued]

Sorry MC, but I think that only happens after your married and I believe its the wifes job, not yours* :lol2: :lol2:


Hey, that's my joke. :)

Fortunately, I have my own purse to keep them in, so at least I'll have them nearby.

[Wen4cd]

1. It bothers me when people use 'need' and 'addiction' synonymously.

2. It saddens me to imagine some TS folk who are actually deluded CD'ers in for a lot of misery instead of resolution.

3. While I think much of 'society's condemnation of the activity' actually lies in the subject's imagination, it still pains me greatly to hear stories of completly over-reacting parents.

4. I don't like when I'm dressed up, and that voice in my head commands me to shed the blood of the innocent, and make an alter to the devil out of human toes. Shut up, little voice.

5. Forgtetting to put roll-on antiperspirant on my face before applying makeup, and having 2 hours worth of work sweat off in another two hours.

[Sammy777]

1. It bothers me when people use 'need' and 'addiction' synonymously.

And it bothers me when Government and Intelligence are used in the same sentence. And....


2. It saddens me to imagine how many TS folk are actually deluded CD'ers in for a lot of misery instead of resolution, and I'd venture a guess of about 90%.

It saddens me to think that someone in the community has such a misinformed and close minded view of what it is actually like to be Transexual.

I guess most of us must just really be horny guys in dresses who like girls so much that we figure hey, why don't I just save time and forget about finding someone when I can just turn myself into my own dreamgirl.

IS that it?
Because anybody that believes that dumbass bull-shit are the people that sadden me.


3. While I think much of 'society's condemnation of the activity' actually lies in the subject's imagination, it still pains me greatly to hear stories of completly over-reacting parents.

Wow, now isn't that the Cd'er[pot] calling the TS[kettle] black, or just an oversexed Cd'er in disguise.


4. I don't like when I'm dressed up, and that voice in my head commands me to shed the blood of the innocent, and make an alter to the devil out of human toes. Shut up, little voice.

You know, the little voice in my head told me to be nice.
But I told that little voice to shut the Frack up this time.


5. Forgtetting to put roll-on antiperspirant on my face before applying makeup, and having 2 hours worth of work sweat off in another two hours.

That is what happens when you bring the term coverup to a whole new level now isn't it. :lol2:

[Princess Chantal]

Wow, I didn't think this thread was meant to give swipes with protracted claws at people with contrasting mindsets.

[Wen4cd]

No I probably deserved that. I knew I harbored at least one unpopular opinion, and that was what I probably needed. I am sorry.

[Princess Chantal]

yeah people that express their honest, but unpopular opinions should be confronted and told that it's bull-blahblahblah.......... hey look at all the bodies behind that there shed, looks like some type of firing squad was here

[Frédérique]

Thank you all for your thoughts (and arguments) so far! Here are a few quick replies…


My thought, anyway. I know it's not worth a hillock of mashed potatoes and giblet gravy, but hey... it's here anyway.

You know, that would be a hard hillock to overcome, even with a really big spoon. Sorry -- I have no idea what that means…


Not meaning to "argue", Frédérique, but this forum includes people (such as myself) who are "neither fish nor fowl" -- that is, whose gender is not strictly male, and whose gender is not strictly female.

Yes, I know that. I’m referring specifically to transvestites and/or crossdressers, whatever definition you go by. Men who simply dress as women, I mean. I thought that was obvious. We’re all lumped together on this site for better or worse…:sigh:



How do you propose I do that? Shall I just pop them off, ftpp-ftpp, and toss them in a bowl when I come in... and retrieve them later?


Why not? I don’t mean stop being a man, I mean leave your “maleness” behind, at least for a short time. You know, like arguing for the sake of being argumentative, or acting out your own insecurities by lashing out at the nearest target, or even just being insensitive about people’s feelings. What’s that? Women do that, too? Obviously, but I can be selective, can’t I? I didn’t mean to be misconstrued (quite literally)… ;)



I'm from a pretty liberal minded east coast city where people accept gay & lesbian couples like anyone else......but CROSSDRESSERS? That is pretty frightening to the average folk.

True, Nathalie. I miss Massachusetts, where gays were visible at all times and you would at least see a tranny now and then. Out here in rural Kansas, gays and lesbians are underground, and I’m underneath them…


It saddens me to imagine how many TS folk are actually deluded CD'ers in for a lot of misery instead of resolution, and I'd venture a guess of about 90%

This will just have to do, then…

[Wen4cd]

I think it was the "90%" part that I erred in. I admitted it was a guess, and I admit it was probably amplified by the sense of tragedy I feel when I think of it happening to even one person. I'll remove the exaggerated guess, and just say 'it happens sometimes, and it saddens me.'

[Sammy777]

Wow, I didn't think this thread was meant to give swipes with protracted claws at people with contrasting mindsets.

I guess I should put these away for now then? :heehee:

http://samantha.arcaco.com/deathstrike.jpg



yeah people that express their honest, but unpopular opinions should be confronted and told that it's bull-blahblahblah.......... hey look at all the bodies behind that there shed, looks like some type of firing squad was here

Now just what do yer think yur doing snoopin round behind my wood shed here. :lol2:

I have no problem with people expressing their opinion.
I do however have a problem with any opinion that has a statement that includes a way off guesstament like that one did.

[Barbara918]

Re the whole man-in-a-dress thing :

Sorry, Frederique, but that's all I've ever considered myself. Just a guy in a dress. And since all my friends & neighbors KNOW I'm a guy, it seems silly to try & come across as if I'm not. I'm not gonna fool anybody, so why try? Anyway, I have more fun when I'm just being myself -- a man who likes to wear women's clothing (and who uses a femme name that's not simply a feminine variation of a man's name).

[krissysSecret]

Frederique...wow...you certainly started a real conversation here.Agree or disagree with your particular thoughts, it was nice to see a debate with some substance and opinions.
Nice!

[dawnmarrie1961]

Frédérique,

1: Petticoat punishment. Some people consider this a form of sexual domination. If two consenting adults are doing this for fun? No problem. To each there own. If it being inflicted by an adult on a child then somebody needs to call the authorities because that's child abuse.

2. Being labeled a "Pervert". Everybody's a little "VERTED." from time to time. It's just another useless word that people like to fling around, like fecal material, at things they don't understand.

3.Men in drag? That's kind of tough one. Not every guy looks good in a dress. Then neither does every woman. Give J. Edgar Hoover a break. The guy was obviously under a lot of stress. It takes a lot to create a vacuum cleaner. (Yeah. I know he wasn't the Hoover you're talking about. But he was trying to clean house.)

4. Men who dress up as women but still retain their maleness? Another toughie. That's a matter of personal choice. I kinda like the tomboy look. There are certain things about woman that are desirable traits. The rest is ideological male induced garbage that I prefer to discard. My therapist once said " Why can't you be both?"

5. Not being younger? You can't turn back the clock. Unfortunate. We have to go with where we are. Wrinkles and grey hair. Bummer!

6..Confusion over definitions? The only definition anyone should be worried about is how they define their self. Not what some one else defines them as.

7. Boys? Are strictly off limits! Go for men instead. It's less likely to get you put in jail.(See no.2 "Being labeled a Pervert.")

8.Cures? I laughed when I saw you mention the word "prozac". All I could think of is that darned "ENZYTE" commercials and good old "Smiling BOB" in a dress. It's the once daily tablet for natural male enhancement!! Or try Enzyte topical Rush Gel! Just rub it on and keep rubbing!!! But not in public, Bob. BOB!!!!(See no.2 "Being labeled a Pervert.")


So there you have it. My take on "the things that bother me about cross dressing".
And "YES". I am ranting.

Be safe. Be smart. And stay away from no. 2s .EWWW!!! Ok, BOB, you can stop rubbing now! Bob? I think he rubbed so hard he erased himself. Poor Bob.:eek:

Dawn Marrie

[Frédérique]

Frédérique,

Thanks for the accents, Dawn!


1: Petticoat punishment. Some people consider this a form of sexual domination. If two consenting adults are doing this for fun? No problem. To each there own. If it being inflicted by an adult on a child then somebody needs to call the authorities because that's child abuse.

Duh. I wasn’t talking about adult role-playing…


2. Being labeled a "Pervert". Everybody's a little "VERTED." from time to time. It's just another useless word that people like to fling around, like fecal material, at things they don't understand.

Oh, perversions are good, but making sweeping generalized statements is bad…


3.Men in drag? That's kind of tough one. Not every guy looks good in a dress. Then neither does every woman. Give J. Edgar Hoover a break. The guy was obviously under a lot of stress. It takes a lot to create a vacuum cleaner. (Yeah. I know he wasn't the Hoover you're talking about. But he was trying to clean house.)

Maybe “Hoovering” can be a new term for being in drag – it sounds better, doesn’t it? As in “Bob is Hoovering today.” See “Cures” below…


4. Men who dress up as women but still retain their maleness? Another toughie. That's a matter of personal choice. I kinda like the tomboy look. There are certain things about woman that are desirable traits. The rest is ideological male induced garbage that I prefer to discard. My therapist once said " Why can't you be both?"

Tomboys are fabulous creatures, no argument there. As for your statement about “ideological male garbage that I prefer to discard,” how come we haven’t bumped into each other before? I like you already, Dawn – why can’t I be you?


5. Not being younger? You can't turn back the clock. Unfortunate. We have to go with where we are. Wrinkles and grey hair. Bummer!

I’m there…


6..Confusion over definitions? The only definition anyone should be worried about is how they define their self. Not what some one else defines them as.

I am merely Freddy, and I am at your service (for a small fee, of course)…


7. Boys? Are strictly off limits! Go for men instead. It's less likely to get you put in jail.(See no.2 "Being labeled a Pervert.")

I can look, can’t I? Don’t worry -- I didn’t like boys when I was one…


8.Cures? I laughed when I saw you mention the word "prozac". All I could think of is that darned "ENZYTE" commercials and good old "Smiling BOB" in a dress. It's the once daily tablet for natural male enhancement!! Or try Enzyte topical Rush Gel! Just rub it on and keep rubbing!!! But not in public, Bob. BOB!!!!(See no.2 "Being labeled a Pervert.")

The makers of ENZYTE could make a “cure” for crossdressing called “TRANZYTE,” and have “Confused Roberta” as a commercial spokesperson. You can visualize the ads: “Since Roberta started using TRANZYTE, she’s stopped her obsessive Hoovering!” Cut to the ever-smiling wife. But be careful, Bob – if you combine ENZYTE and TRANZYTE you will spontaneously combust, probably from friction…


So there you have it. My take on "the things that bother me about cross dressing".
And "YES". I am ranting.

Do females rant, or does that involve the purchase of a large attachment?

[TSchapes]

That's what bugs me about cross-dressing. There are so many divergent groups within the CD community. Yet most of us just like to throw on a frock and go out and have fun. How hard is that?

Yet, CD's get upset when one wears a female mask, some get upset at male chest hair, others don't like male attitudes while dressed. Honestly our own diversity within our community is a strength not a liability.

Some don't like drag queens. Really? It was a drag queen that started the riots at Stonewall that started the Gay and now LGBT movement.

Transsexuals barely tolerate us because we come off as flakes. Feminist hate us because we love the girlie clothes that they would prefer to burn. Macho guys would just wish we would go away.

I can't get no respect - Rodney Dangerfield

Some are upset about being called gay. Go ahead, call me gay, you will not change my behavior by calling me gay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

If it's anything that I dislike about CDing is the chicken and egg problem. We aren't understood because the general public doesn't know who we are because we are not out. We aren't out because the public doesn't understand us. Of course there are those that prefer to not be out because it's part of the thrill. That's fine, just admit it, but for the rest of us, I'm tired of hiding.

-Tracy

[Frédérique]

Some don't like drag queens. Really?

I hesitate to submit this, but, why not?

Who said anything about drag queens? Drag queens, men in drag, and men that make no effort to disguise the fact they are men (yet say they are in drag) are different entities, wouldn’t you agree? Men who dress up as some exaggerated caricature of a woman for a cheap laugh are what I’m referring to. Apparently this idea is hard to put across without some frame of reference.
OK – have you ever seen the film “The Birdcage?” This is the American re-make of “La Cage aux Folles.” In this movie, Nathan Lane dresses as a woman and passes as a woman to please a US senator, played by Gene Hackman. Later in the film, Gene Hackman dresses in drag long enough to leave a nightclub unnoticed. It’s a fine line, but I would say Nathan Lane is not really in drag in his scene, even though most people would say he is. On the other hand, I would say Gene Hackman is in drag, even though the transformation is startling (probably because it’s Gene Hackman!). Therein lies the difference -- can you see it? Here are more obvious examples of drag:

I mentioned Monty Python, a veritable smorgasbord of everything from transvestism to drag and back again. Some of their transformations actually inspired me to try dressing up when I first saw them, while others are extreme caricature purely for entertainment.
Benny Hill comes to mind, too. I know Benny loved women, so his impersonations have a certain sweetness and truth about them, IMHO, yet it’s still being “in drag” for laughs. Don’t forget that Benny once said “Any man that dresses as a woman can’t be all bad!”
I also mentioned Vince Clarke of Erasure, who, during a concert in 1992, dressed up as a saloon girl/Mae West/ fertility figure during the song “Who Needs Love Like That?” This is another sub-variation of drag, a sophisticated art form within an art form. See Leigh Bowery…
Drag queens populate the film “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,” to name just one example. I could go on and on, so I won’t, but I will say that when drag borders on passable crossdressing, I’m fascinated. When it’s done by amateurs for a cheap laugh, it’s insulting to women. To someone like me, a male who adores women, the last thing I would want to do is insult them in any way…

[Cheshire Gummi]

I forgot to mention something else that [-]will perpetuate this argument[/-] bothers me about the queer community, specifically cross-dressing and gender roles.

Bioqueens. Damn, are they annoying.

That's like a deli ham pretending to be a can of spam. The spam wants to be the deli ham. It secretly envies the deli ham. It dreams of having the deli hams smoke-house goodness and superior meat quality. The deli ham is the standard, it's a role model for cans of spam everywhere. Then, one day, the deli ham comes out to its meaty kin and says "I'm secretly a can of spam in a deli hams body, teehee!"

Frankly, I'm not entirely certain why they'd want to be one of us in the first place, anyway. Except to get attention from people they think they identify with. Not to be an elitist, but most people don't choose to be a reject; that's why we have our own cliques. It's not to exclude, just to find a place to be tolerated and safe and try to understand our desires better. Certain people see that as a challenge I guess, but...

We're the ass end of jokes, we're condemned, and we're outcast, and they have the goods that keep them from being like one us, and they act like they are anyway? It may be well-meaning, but a slap in the face is a slap in the face.

Those sorts of people really *are* just trying their little asses off to be different.

I'm sorry, bio queens, I really am... I accept you and all that, I'm just... tired, I guess. Tired and bitter.

Quit smoking just yesterday. Day 3 is tomorrow. Wish me luck, ladies.

[Frédérique]

Quit smoking just yesterday. Day 3 is tomorrow. Wish me luck, ladies.



Day 3 is the hardest. I wish you luck… :hugs:
I think I did choose to be a reject. It’s working out well so far, though.

[Vicky_Scot]

I love the freedom of expression, of exploration, of perfecting our hobby.

One thing I dislike when people talk about crossdressing is the use of the word 'hobby'

Being TG is not a hobby, its who you are. You have no choice.

Xx Vicky xX

[Emma England]

That's what bugs me about cross-dressing. There are so many divergent groups within the CD community. Yet most of us just like to throw on a frock and go out and have fun. How hard is that?

Yet, CD's get upset when one wears a female mask, some get upset at male chest hair, others don't like male attitudes while dressed. Honestly our own diversity within our community is a strength not a liability.

Some don't like drag queens. Really? It was a drag queen that started the riots at Stonewall that started the Gay and now LGBT movement.

Transsexuals barely tolerate us because we come off as flakes. Feminist hate us because we love the girlie clothes that they would prefer to burn. Macho guys would just wish we would go away.


Some are upset about being called gay. Go ahead, call me gay, you will not change my behavior by calling me gay.
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If it's anything that I dislike about CDing is the chicken and egg problem. We aren't understood because the general public doesn't know who we are because we are not out. We aren't out because the public doesn't understand us. Of course there are those that prefer to not be out because it's part of the thrill. That's fine, just admit it, but for the rest of us, I'm tired of hiding.

-Tracy

:iagree:

On this forum, there are always arguments.

The best thing to do is to accept that we are all different.
Variety in life makes it more interesting.

[Princess Chantal]

One thing I dislike when people talk about crossdressing is the use of the word 'hobby'

Being TG is not a hobby, its who you are. You have no choice.

Xx Vicky xX

Having people say there is no choice when it comes to crossdressing.......
Personally, I feel like I do have a choice. Right now I choose to crossdress and if or when the fun dies down, I will choose not to crossdress. OMG!!!!! I guess it sounds like my crossdressing is somewhat similiar to most of my hobbies.

[wearingtanpantyhose]

I wish I had the freedom to put on a skirt and run to the grocery without getting all dolled up. I'd love to wear a little denim skirt and sandals without a wig, makeup and so much preparation. When I'm dressed at home, I have to change just to walk to the mailbox. If only...

[MissConstrued]

Personally, I feel like I do have a choice. Right now I choose to crossdress and if or when the fun dies down, I will choose not to crossdress. OMG!!!!! I guess it sounds like my crossdressing is somewhat similiar to most of my hobbies.

Aye!


I wish I had the freedom to put on a skirt and run to the grocery without getting all dolled up.


Your location tag says "Indiana." Is that the Indiana in the USA? Or is there another Indiana in the former Soviet Union? China perhaps?

I don't want to hear bitching that you don't have the "freedom" to wear a skirt whenever you please. I do it all the time, and I have yet to be hauled off to the gulag.

No, what you don't have is the guts. Get it right.

[Lisa Catherine]

There are SOO many "experts" out there who postulate and speculate about us..... Most of them just need to shut their mouth and open their minds!!
As for the Kansas T-storms, I can relate to that, I grew up just West of Yopeka! The saying always was, "If you don't like weather in Kansas, just wait 5 minutes, it'll change completely!!" HEY, could a bunch of us T-girls getting together, like at SCC, etc., be called a T-Storm as well??:hugs:

[xAnne_Mariex]

It's not so much a problem with dressing, but 'admirers' bother me a lot of the time.

The vast vast overwhelming majority of the ones i've encountered have been more interested in getting me into bed than showing me any sort of respect or admiration.

I know everyone does this for different reasons and for some of us it's not a choice, but I do get incredibly frustrated with the people who view this as more of a fetish and make other people feel uncomfortable by forcing theirselves on you.

[joannemarie barker]

i've never considered crossdressing a fetish because it doesn't make me feel horny i itself and thats what i percieve fetishes to be all about.nobody has to stand by and let someone force themselves on them though

[Jamie001]

I agree with Butterfly Bill. There are a lot of us that don't completely dress or present as female. We just like to wear articles of female clothing just as females wear male clothing.


No, I'll take it out the door every time I go out. The only thing that puts a chip on my shoulder is hostility like this. I walk both sides and will continue to do so. I'm queer (in the eyes of a lot of people on this group), I'm here, get used to it.

[Butterfly Bill]

4. Men who dress up as women, yet retain their maleness. This is not the same as “drag.” I call it having a chip on your shoulder-pad. Can we please leave the males at the door? Thanks…

No, I'll take it out the door every time I go out. The only thing that puts a chip on my shoulder is hostility like this. I walk both sides and will continue to do so. I'm queer (in the eyes of a lot of people on this group), I'm here, get used to it.

[Ralph]

- Crossdressing peers that are obsessed with "passing" *note that crossdressing peers refers to crossdressers and not those that are actually transitioning or plan to be.
- People assuming that I have the mindset of a feminine person when I am dressed. "Hey look, nice bright white snow! Wonder if I could still write my name while in these heels!"
- Being constantly hit on by crossdressers that in the open they keep on referring to theirselves as heterosexual.
- Being groped by mtf transsexuals that refer to theirselves as "lesbians"
- People correcting theirselves when referring to a group of us. for example; "you guys..... errrrrr girls have fun now!" I am totally cool with "you guys" or "you girls"..... but the correcting, is so annoying.

Normally I don't quote an entire post but I just wanted to see all of that again. I bet you get your butt chewed for daring to say that some CDs do obnoxious things, but I'm with you all the way on every one of those points. "Self-righteous" doesn't even begin to cover it sometimes. So this is just a long excuse for saying "I agree with everything you said." Good on ya for having the yarbles to say what needed to be said.

[Crysten]

First, I want to say that I TOTALLY AGREE with EVERYTHING EVERYONE has said so far in this thread. And I mean that. It's all about diversity, isn't it.

Now, what I TRUELY HATE and FIND DISGUSTING about crossdressing?

Here it is: Submissives. Utterly, completely, and totally awful.

I might like to wear feminine clothes, act and present myself a certian way, BUT, I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna submit to ANYONE. The whole sub/dom thing is gawd awful IMO. We should all be equals, and treat each other with respect. Which means I guess I respect the sub/dom crowd, I just don't want anything to do with them. I guess.

I was never any good at drinking games either. "Screw you, I'm drinking when I feel like it. I'm out".

There's something I thnk at LEAST the majority of us can agree on. Or, I'm deluding myself LOL.

Crysten