I finally met Dory, my fem side... The next step.

[HunkyDory]

OK so this weekend I finally met Dory, the feminine side of my persona. After all the prep and detail I looked into the mirror and stared back at the transformation. I looked very much like my sister except heavier. I was a bit taken back as I did seem to show some feminine qualities in my face. Guess my wife was right. Without my mustache I look a bit feminine.

All the time, while putting Dory together, I was thinking what I was going to see, experience, feel, etc. When I was done I wasn't sure if I truly felt different. Had to ponder a bit and ask myself: Do the clothes, lingerie, makeup, etc. make the woman in me come out or is it all in the mind? And do I have to dress to conjure up these feelings? As I stared in the mirror I posed these questions directly to Dory ... "Who are you, really, and why are you here now?" The answers are definitely gonna be revealing when I can sort thru all my thoughts and feelings.


dawnmarrie1961 wrote in a previous thread: I know how you feel. Right now you feel the excitement of being able to cross dress while your wife and children are away. But don't. Use the time to seek out counseling... I don't want you to make the same mistakes I've made.

Too late. I was dressed and read your post after the fact. I appreciate your viewpoint and concern and I have taken your advice to heart. I have too much invested in my family to give up either. I have contacted a local organization that can offer support and resources for CD's and their families.

Maybe Dory is here to stay, maybe she is just passing thru in my life struggles. I hope to find the right tools within myself and/or from someone on the outside to help me deal these things in a positive way.

With that said... back to the grind of life to see where it takes me.

HD

“All of life is a journey. Which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there.”

[sterling12]

I think that if you allow it, Dory is going to evolve much like every other "Human Bean." You might have felt some euphoria, but if you didn't, that's OK too. You seem to be a contemplative person, so wild mood swings are probably not a part of you.

I remember when I first came out of The Closet, it was a very wild ride. I joined a support group, started to hit The Clubs and do all the things that other's seem to think of as "milestones." At first, because it was going very fast, it seemed frightening, just too quick, too much Technicolor!

But, I said to myself: "Self, you and Joanie both wanted this adventure, although it can feel psychologically frightening, nothing really bad has happened; it's just that you are venturing into The Unknown and it scares you." "Let's hang-on, ignore the vague feelings of discomfort and see what happens?"

I took an attitude of accepting new ideas, new people, and really pushing myself to "grow and progress." Sometimes I get into very unusual situations, because I'm a gregarious person, and people readily accept me. But, as I reflect backwards, it's all been good! That started for Joanie about 4 years ago....I'm still evolving.

You let Dory "do her thing," you start yourself on The Road, I think you'll find plenty to get interested and excited about. It's called "growing."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Wen4cd]

The real fun will begin when she starts talking back to you. ;)