Out in public

[kelly1469]

Hi girls!

I've been out in public dresse 3 times now, and it does feel amazing!

but the longest i've spent out is about an hour (in the day, walking around town)

I have a day coming up, where i plan to get dressed up and spend most the day in town.

I want to go shopping, try on shoes, etc

But - this would mean coming face to face with people! which i'm really scared about!

any advice on how to talk, what to do, etc?

I want to go shopping while i'm dressed, but this would involve speaking to the staff at the till, likewise with buying lunch!!

am sooo nervous about this!

any advice would be gratefully received girls! :heehee:

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Just smile and be pleasant and no-one will worry about your voice.

[tricia_uktv]

Go for it! Where are you going to go, maybe I can help? Build up your confidence and attitude as much as you can though. Stick with crowds, you're safest in them although thats not where you'll likely not want to be. Be proud of yourself because you're doing one of the hardest things of all. Don't worry about your voice just speak quietly. And smile and wink, all the time. Have fun but make sure you are ready and prepared first.

Hugs, Trish

[vikki2020]

Confidence is your best accessory! The more comfortable you are, the better you will be received. I like to start the day with some easy "walks"-- maybe walk to a mailbox and send a letter, go to a drugstore and pick up a few small items,and once I'm warmed up, head for the crowds, malls, etc. Even driving around for a while at first can get you relaxed a bit! Good luck:)

[Fab Karen]

Same as you do when buying in boy-mode: say thank you to the salesperson. Don't worry about your voice, trying to create a falsetto would sound stranger to people ( and you might not be heard well ).
As for for being comfortable, focus completely on the task: shopping.

[Plasibeau]

First and last rule: Be confident in everything you do.

If you act like you're emberassed or nervous that will only draw unwanted attention to you. Sure, you might be read, but if you carry on with a se la vi attitude very few, if any at all, will give you trouble. Including the sales people.

My first time out, I wanted to try on a dress at Torrid. The SA read me clear as day and could tell how nervous I was, then as she led me back to the changing rooms she said: "And don't worry, you'd be surprised how many of your sisters come in here."

Keep that in mind. . .

[TxKimberly]

Yepper, I've got advice! I advise you to speak with as little bass in your voice as you can and then just don't worry about it. You head out the door KNOWING that some are going to read you, and KNOWING that you will be just fine with it. Even those that read you will still treat you with respect while shopping. You hold up your head and walk tall, and above all remember that your doing this because it's fun so SMILE!
That smile part is VERY important. People that look scared to death and that don't smile, tend to sort of creep others out. If you smile and act friendly, so will they! :D

[kay_jessica]

Kelly,

Just do it. After the first hour or so, you'll forget that you'r dressed and just get on with it.

I don't know where in the UK you are, but from the pics from your earlier outings, you'll have few if no problems. Your style fits with your age and you blend in perfectly. As for interacting with shop staff, don't worry about it. I've rarely encountered and negativeness. They will almost certainly treat you with respect. Don't prempt refusal of the use of the changing rooms by drawing attention to your self by asking if its ok to try on something, just take the items to the attendent and behave normaly. When paying smile and hand over the money or stick your card in the PIN machine, the SA's won't even notice you.

I baught a set of heated rollers from boots and had to take them back because they were faulty, I was probably read (my voice) but it did not stop the SA (first a female, then a male) from treating me with full respect.

Just get out there and enjoy. One highlight will be siting in a coffee shop enjoying a hard earn rest of those darn heals.

Hugs

Kay

[erickka]

Kelly, Just be yourself. Hold your head high and proud, be confident, and smile I find that a smile gets you far.

[kelly1469]

Thank you all!

I have my outfit ready (a casual young 20s outfit), just the coming face to face with people i'm most afraid off!

Can't wait tho, been a while since i was dressed and want to make the most of it!! :daydreaming:

[trannie T]

You are going to have a good time. I am a bit nervous before going out (I believe the term is 'terrified') but enjoy most every moment that I am out. Be confident, hold your head up--it will show your confidence and help show off your makeup, hold your shoulders back--it will also show you are confident and make your boobs look better. Enjoy!

[Michelle Enn]

I remember I did my first outing to a furniture shop some 45 minutes drives away from my hometown. Then I went to London for other reasons and decided to go out in public there. And from that it kind of just continued but I am still not out much in my small hometown or to relatives and work colleagues.

The way you are treated in stores is generally great, go into women fitting rooms is never a problem and I have also been flying en-femme 6 times the last year and not even security checks are bothered by my apperance.

This spring I flew to Berlin together with a tranny friend and none of us brought a single male garment with us and we had good fun the whole week. The point is, as someone stated before, keep your head high and do things with confidence. That way people won't read you as easy either.

I am 6'1" and loves heels so I am normally wearing 3-4" heels when I am out. Yes, I am a head taller than most girls but I really don't care and mind my own business. An occasional verbal shout happens but only once per like 25 hours in public so I can live with that.

[CarrieAnneEvers]

Just be confident and friendly and smile and keep your knees close together and shoulders back. I have had very pleasant experiences going out and interacting with people as Carrie here in Georgia. Occasionally I will get weird looks from people (usually GGs) and I'll occasionally hear an urgent whisper "I THINK THAT'S A DUDE!" or words to that effect. But don't worry about that. Most people will call you Ma'am. NOthing more fun than getting a Ma'am!

When I first went out I just believed that everybody in the world was staring at me and knowing for certain that I was a man in drag. But really, you pass as a woman more often than you think and people just treat you like a normal woman for the most part. Most people are just going about their business and NOT staring at you. Relax and enjoy your temporary womanhood!

[Michelle S]

Since you are new to going out there are few practical matters to consider. You might avoid the malls at times kids are there. Shoppes in those small strip malls near the main mall, like Talbots, Pendleton and J Jill, are not crowded and maybe goods low stress places to start with. But the sales staff at the big stores, Macy's, Dillard's and JC Penny, have always been very friendly and professional toward me.

Do you know where to find single user bathrooms? When I am out for more than a couple of hours I bring a razor as I need to shave periodically. You may want to pack some guy closes and makeup remover in your car in case you get stuck and don't feel up to dealing with the tow truck driver en femme (although even that is probably less of a problem than you might think).

Where do you plan to eat? If you want to avoid crowds just eat around 2 pm. The wait staff of the chain restaurants I've eaten in have been fine.

But mostly try to have fun! :)

PS: I just noticed you are in the UK, so the stores I mentioned won't be helpful. But, do have fun!

[jenna_woods]

just relax and enjoy your self and be nice to people and all will go well, and the more you go out the easier it gets.

[sandra diaz]

Take a deep breath, don't look directly at the eyes, and enjoy, and be yourself. Good luck Sister

[Rachel Morley]

Stick with crowds, you're safest in them although that's not where you'll likely not want to be. Don't worry about your voice just speak quietly.


Yepper, I've got advice! I advise you to speak with as little bass in your voice as you can and then just don't worry about it. That smile part is VERY important. People that look scared to death and that don't smile, tend to sort of creep others out. If you smile and act friendly, so will they! :D

These two comments are what I was going to say. It's a weird paradox, but where there are crowds is the best place to be as people are mostly busy minding their own business to look at others for anything more than a fleeting glance.

Being relaxed, making eye contact, and smiling, makes others around you more comfortable with you (even if they read you). Speak slowly and calmly and try to keep your voice a little softer than normal, and lift it up just SLIGHTLY so that it's not deep and booming but that is still your own somewhat natural voice but lighter and quieter and you should be ok. What I do is, I accept that my voice is not going to sound like a woman's but I try by best to have it not sound manly. There is difference. Get me? :)

[Tasha McIntyre]

Go for it! Where are you going to go, maybe I can help? Build up your confidence and attitude as much as you can though. Stick with crowds, you're safest in them although thats not where you'll likely not want to be. Be proud of yourself because you're doing one of the hardest things of all. Don't worry about your voice just speak quietly. And smile and wink, all the time. Have fun but make sure you are ready and prepared first.

Hugs, Trish

Yes yes yes.....what Trish said.

I've only recently come out of the closet, and the last few times out have been to busy shopping malls. It's a great experience, and full of adrenaline. Remember to smile and act confidently and you should be fine.

Just remember where you parked your car and which entrance you came in, just in case you get the jitters and feel the need for a hasty retreat.

Good luck.

Tash :)

[sheidelmeidel]

The main thing to remember if you've got the jitters is that even though you are paying a great deal of attention to yourself, unless you look or act completely outlandish nobody is really paying very much attention you. So as long as you are careful to avoid problems running into someone you know or some physical danger, just relax go about your business.

[Michelle S]

In the US we have nail salons everywhere. I have gone to several to have my nails done and have never had a problem. In the US they are usually run by Vietnamese families. If you were in the US I'd recommend nail salons as great places for newbies to check out. I don't know if this is the case in the UK. Perhaps others can comment.

[pantyhosecd]

i went out for the first time this morning, had on shher energy suntan pantyhose under a pair of shorts, felt so wonderful.

[Carly D.]

Take a deep breath, don't look directly at the eyes, and enjoy, and be yourself. Good luck Sister



Be who you are comfortable being and don't try to be someone you are not..