Sacrificial Lambs of Stepping Out into the Public Eye

[Princess Chantal]

For those that have wondered out into public, have you sacrificed any of your beloved outfits, looks or clothing items as they may attract attention?
Has going out changed your passion for these outfits,looks or clothing items to the point that you have no more thrill in putting on the outfit/the clothing items/the look even when not going out the door?

[LisaM]

Chantal,

I don't know if this is the answer that you are looking for but---my clothing is the type that any woman would wear everyday. I try to blend in. I really don't have any clothing that I wear for a thrill. Maybe I need to 'add' to my wardrobe.

[Sara Jessica]

There is no sacrifice. I go out to express who I am and to experience the world outside. And I feel no less feminine presenting in a casual manner versus being dressed to the nines or somewhere in between.

[Princess Chantal]

Chantal,

I don't know if this is the answer that you are looking for but---my clothing is the type that any woman would wear everyday. I try to blend in. I really don't have any clothing that I wear for a thrill. Maybe I need to 'add' to my wardrobe.

note by "thrill", I do not mean it in the sexual way. I guess that I should have said "no more passion", "no more drive", "no more pleasure", "no more excitement"..........

I am not sure what you and many other describe as "type of clothing that any women would wear everyday", seeing that every women have clothing preferences and may not choose to wear many (if any) items in your wardrobe. A thread on that topic would possibly make a good discussion.....

[Shikyo]

So far I haven't had the need. I wear whatever I want outside now and hopefully tomorrow too.

[Princess Chantal]

Seeing there is misinterpreting of my initial questions. The questions are going to be changed to:
What types of outfits and clothing items that you adored prior to going out in public has collected dust and spider webs (in otherwords, has rarely been touched or worn) since stepping out the door?
Has the passion for these outfits or clothing items changed to the point that you have no more pleasure in putting on the outfit/the clothing items even when not going out the door?
For those that loved a certain look (such as school girl, gothic, trampy, 50's housewife, big hair and heavy make up, very glamourous, etc), have you lost your drive or passion to put together the look since going out?

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I don't know if this is the answer that you are looking for but---my clothing is the type that any woman would wear everyday. I try to blend in. I really don't have any clothing that I wear for a thrill. Maybe I need to 'add' to my wardrobe.

Same here. My posh frocks get an outing when I go somewhere that a posh frock is called for. If I'm going to a face-to-face meeting with politicians, I'll wear a smart skirt suit. If I'm just going shopping, I generally wear jeans.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Chantal-

Well, I'm not sure if this is a relevant response to your post or not, but here goes. As most of the other girls have said, it depends on where I'm going and what I intend to do there. If it's just to go shopping, probably totally casual, if I'm going out with friends to a club where I know it's acceptable, then it may be a skirt up to here and heels up to there (the heck with age appropriate, honey).

However, maybe this is more to the point, I do have clothes that I used to wear fairly often but are now relegated to the dark end of the closet as my tastes and style (if you can call it that) have changed and evolved. Like some super short skirts and a rabbit skin vest. Yes! Can you imagine? Shades of Sonny and Cher! What was I thinking? No more drinks at lunch and then going clothes shopping.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Gerard]

I've never gone out in public, but if I ever would find the courage, it would certainly be in something that allowed me to blend in.

[Princess Chantal]

Hiya Joni Mari,
That's somewhat like what I've been digging for. Is there any chance of putting on those super short skirts and reliving the similiar passion you once had for them, even for a split second?

[Carole Cross]

I dress to blend in, so I wear what is appropriate for where I am going or what I am doing. Sometimes I will dress up a bit but not over the top.

[Princess Chantal]

Hoi!!!!!!!! Wished that I never mentioned "blend-in" or "passing" as they attract the attention away from the questions.

[MissConstrued]

I've ditched a number of outfits that just didn't look as good on me as they did on the pages of a catalog. That changed with stepping out, since I take a friend and try stuff on. (Friends don't let their CD friends shop alone!)

The thrill comes from looking good, so it's only getting better. I haven't lost anything. :)

[Joni Marie Cruz]

<ahem> Yeah, sort of.<g> Like a lot of other girls, at least I kind of gather this, dressing up in girl clothes was quite "passionate" at one point and often times led to acts of...how can I say this?..solitary pleasure. Now it's just more like getting dressed just in something different and more enjoyable. Am I making any sense here at all? I mean, is it worse than my usual nonesense? Toss me a bone, here, fergawdsake.

Anyhow, yeah, I suppose it's one reason I haven't just tossed them or Goodwilled them. I can occasionally slip on one of my old convertible skirts (the kind that turn into a belt when you sit down) and look in the mirror and go, "Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about." That whole autogynephilia thing that what's his name was spouting. But it doesn't mean I'd go out in public wearing it or anything unless I'd spent the rent money on clothes and it was the first of the month.

Hugs...Joni Mari



Hiya Joni Mari,
That's somewhat like what I've been digging for. Is there any chance of putting on those super short skirts and reliving the similiar passion you once had for them, even for a split second?

[Sweet Jane]

i dress appropriately for where i'm going..that means the shorter skirts stay out of the city centre, but they still get a wear to the beach or parks in summer....goodness if you have a figure for it, ummmmmmm, why not (laughs)....generally though, i tend to dress like any other woman about my age (well, no, a few years younger!!!..hahaha)

[Christina Horton]

I have lots of eveing gowns and have never worn them out. Aside for the dress I had made for my 20th high school reunion I have never had the chance to. :( but I do love what I wear out.

[michelle_tx]

I don't know that it's a matter of completely shutting out a certain outfit so much as dressing appropriate for where you are going, like any gg would. I may wear my fishnet stockings and corset when i go out to the local goth/industral club here, but I wouldn't wear them to the mall. For that matter, I wouldn't wear a cute little print sundress I'd wear to the mall to the goth club. It's just a matter of wearing the right clothes for the right situation.

Now, on the other hand, there are clothes in my closet I wouldn't wear out right now anywhere, but that is because they are out of fashion right at the moment. They come back into style, out they'll come again.

[MichelleP]

More of a lemming than a lamb.

When I was younger and still figuring myself out, I dressed impractically for going out in public and I had a lot of great outfits for just "around the house". I loved those clothes and the ultra glam look. I particularly remember a pair of d'Orsay pumps with 5 1/2 inch heels that were spectacular but oh so difficult to walk in. I felt really sexy in those but I could never bring myself to walk out farther than to the front sidewalk with them.

As time has passed, I've settled on clothes which are less provocative (for lack of a better word) to more trendy/fashionable (hence I'm really a fashion lemming). For instance, yesterday I bought this really cute pair of Jessica Simpson peep-toe, sling-backs with 4 inch heels. Oh yeah honey, I'll be putting some "out and about miles" in those for sure. They're comfortable, and ummm a teensy bit sexy too but they're not black patent and they're not the 6 inch platforms of my younger days.

Another thing that's changed is my hair. I've progressed from loads of platinum blonde spirals down my back to shorter and darker styles. Not to say I don't love the platinum blonde cascade of hair, it just that I don't think I can make that work for me anymore...sigh.

So to answer your question and speaking strictly for myself, I'm more of a "Newport News", "Ann Taylor" kinda girl and not a "Frederick's" or "Pierre Silber" kinda girl anymore. The reason is primarily because I like to go out in public.

Michelle

[TxKimberly]

Early on, I had edited my desired outfit in an attempt to blend in, but I realized it was making me miserable. These days I'll be damned if I'm going to wear pants just to fit in. What's the point of being a cross dresser if you aren't having fun.

[Frédérique]

Has the passion for these outfits or clothing items changed to the point that you have no more pleasure in putting on the outfit/the clothing items even when not going out the door?
For those that loved a certain look (such as school girl, gothic, trampy, 50's housewife, big hair and heavy make up, very glamourous, etc), have you lost your drive or passion to put together the look since going out?


Not at all. I still prefer the modified schoolgirl/preppy outfit that I started with. I don’t think I’ll ever lose my passion for that style. I’m doing more with dresses these days, but I love wearing outfits that revolve around a beautiful skirt…

[charlie]

Hello Princess!
Yes, I do sacrifice the really shorter skirts when I go out. I try to blend in with what other ladies are wearing. No use wearing a neon sign when going out! I still feel a bit exposed at places like the mall, theater and town even now. As such, I dress down a bit.

[tricia_uktv]

Ha-ha, a good question and something I think about whenever I go out. I am now finding though that sometimes I want to cause a stir as it makes life more entertaining. If I'm going on a long journey on public transport though I will dress appropriately. I do tend to leave my extremely short skirts and dresses for evenings although I use leggings often to make a utility outfit. If I wish to go pubbing and clubbing after shopping I just take the leggings off.

[Diane Smith]

When I wasn't going out as much, I used to buy lots of fancy gowns and long dresses, mostly on eBay, that now live mostly in the closet. I still dress a lot fancier than the average woman at the mall, but it's stylish skirts and tops that at least look daytime-appropriate. (My style is remarkably similar to that of Joann07, although my face is not as attractive.) I think this us a combination of: (1) I want to look more like I belong (not necessarily "blend") in the real-world settings I prefer; (2) my tastes and skills at matching things have improved over the years; (3) I don't hesitate to shop at "mainstream" stores now where they sell equally mainstream clothes.

But I've still got enough gowns to get me through about the next ten years of holiday parties!

- Diane

[Rachel Morley]

Ah yes, the crossdressers dilemma :) Do we wear something cute but toned down to blend in in public places thus improving our chances of not being read or do we wear something pretty and feminine that will make us stand out more? Humm .... it's a problem to be sure :thinking:

In my particular case it all depends on how confident or attractive I'm feeling that day. If I think my makeup looks good and I'm feeling pretty and in a confident mood to "absorb" being read then I'll wear a dress and low heels. However, if I want to go out but I'm not in the mood to have people look at me and I just want to be quiet and left alone then I'll wear capris or a cargo skirt and a plain top with 2" slides.

Fortunately I still get to wear my other (previously non-going out) outfits as I go to our TG support groups socials and parties twice a month. That's where I wear my really cute and feminine outfits! Our socials are in a private banquet room of a hotel so it's in a public place but you're somewhat protected. :) Do you have any support groups near you?

[sheidelmeidel]

It's been a while, but now but I focus only on things that I can actually wear out as a normal looking middle aged woman. No more miniskirts or cheap flashy jewelry. There was no room so out they went.

[dilane]

I was never a "fetish" or mini-skirt dresser. I think elegance is sexy, high hemlines are not required. Always wanted to (fashionably) blend in. However I started going out when I was in my 30's.

However, if I were starting out these days at age 16, I'd probably dress in the age-appropriate trampy style :)

[Princess Chantal]

Wow some great reads since I left, thank you


Early on, I had edited my desired outfit in an attempt to blend in, but I realized it was making me miserable. These days I'll be damned if I'm going to wear pants just to fit in. What's the point of being a cross dresser if you aren't having fun.

And here, I thought I was the only one that found the "fantasy" island to be a miserable trip. Thank Gawd for the little man pointing out "the plane, the plane"


Not at all. I still prefer the modified schoolgirl/preppy outfit that I started with. I don’t think I’ll ever lose my passion for that style.

Thank you for interpreting the word "passion" to exactly what I meant it to be



(1) I want to look more like I belong (not necessarily "blend") in the real-world settings I prefer;

Fantastic outlook and loved how you summed it up



Fortunately I still get to wear my other (previously non-going out) outfits as I go to our TG support groups socials and parties twice a month. That's where I wear my really cute and feminine outfits! Our socials are in a private banquet room of a hotel so it's in a public place but you're somewhat protected. Do you have any support groups near you?


Yes, we have the Masquerade Social Club for Crossdressers (which I am the Madame President of this year). I also take advantage of our meetings and events to dress in the similiar fashion.

[Fab Karen]

no. I consider where I'm going regarding how I'll be dressed. I've toned it down a little to go out shopping during the day ( but pants NEVER, that's what my twin brother wears), but I haven't given up dressing a certain way.

[Sarah Doepner]

My first trip out was an eye-opening experience and not just for me. I thought I had a great outfit picked out and the longer I was out the more obvious it became that I had no sense of fashion. I also found out that shoes need to be comfort-tested on hard surfaces, not just on carpet at home.

I don't think I have any of that outfit left. I also took a good long look at my wardrobe as well as my desire to dress en femme in public settings before I ever did it again. After that I hit the "blend" button on the mixer and have been much happier ever since. I also try to find activities when I'm out that support different styles of clothing so I can try other looks occasionally.

There are things in my closet that will never see the outside world, at least on my body, but I still go to fantasy island occasionally just because it's so darn fun.