Have you confided in someone about it?

[emmicd]

If you crossdress and you have lived in the closet for the longest time but all of a sudden decided to confide in someone how did you decide to?

Why did you feel it was necessary?

How did you feel after confiding in someone?

How was their reaction?

Once you decided to confide in someone was it a member of your family, your wife, a friend?

Did you need to find more than one person to confide in?

Overall did it work in you favor when you confided in them?

Are you still living in the closet or slowly making strides with others?

I was curious because I feel the need to confide in my wife and a close friend and am concerned about the repercussions.

With respect to my wife she already knows but I need a good heart to heart talk with her about it.

Emmi

[heathr1]

She is great, assures me she has a friend who is also a CD and has no problem with it.

She occasionally sends me her lipsticks through the post/mail.

Hs even offered to take me shopping, but I'm too shy to say yes.

[Deborah]

If you crossdress and you have lived in the closet for the longest time but all of a sudden decided to confide in someone how did you decide to?
My parents already had an idea. They were just waiting for me

Why did you feel it was necessary?
They actually brought it up.

How did you feel after confiding in someone?
Alot better. Since they already had an idea it wasn't so hard for them

How was their reaction?
They were fine as they have prepared themselves for it for however many years

Once you decided to confide in someone was it a member of your family, your wife, a friend?
My ex-wife guessed and my parents already knew

Did you need to find more than one person to confide in?
No it seems everyone knows before i tell them lol

Overall did it work in you favor when you confided in them?
With my parents it worked out well. My dad gave me some money and said here go shopping

Are you still living in the closet or slowly making strides with others?
In the closet with some people while others do know

[Sharon]

If you crossdress and you have lived in the closet for the longest time but all of a sudden decided to confide in someone how did you decide to?

It finally became impossible not to tell them. It has been over the course of nine months or so, but I have told everyone I am close to, except one (my 80-year-old mother).

Why did you feel it was necessary?

Going through the changes I am going through, it is better that I tell them than to confuse them. I rather people find out my way, and by my words, than to wonder what is happening.

How did you feel after confiding in someone?

Relieved and horrified. Relieved because there are no more secrets, but full of fear that I have forever altered our relationships.

How was their reaction?

Outwardly, they did better than I did while telling them. Sons are tough though, and he is proving to be a difficult sell. Younger daughter, unbeknownst to me, has known for years and has been terrific. May have lost a very close friend.

Once you decided to confide in someone was it a member of your family, your wife, a friend?

Two sisters and their families, two daughters, one son, a couple of friends, selected neighbors. Wife knew since before the marriage but she has passed.

Overall did it work in your favor when you confided in them?

Honesty ain't all it's cracked up to be, but for the most part it's been cool.

Are you still living in the closet or slowly making strides with others?

Making strides, but still live just part-time as I wish, due to fear more than anything else. I still conduct business as a male and when outdoors in the neighborhood.

I was curious because I feel the need to confide in my wife and a close friend and am concerned about the repercussions.

Good luck!

[Tristen Cox]

how did you decide to?
Why did you feel it was necessary?

It was doing more damage than not.

How did you feel after confiding in someone?
FREE

How was their reaction?
They were fine with it

Once you decided to confide in someone was it a member of your family, your wife, a friend?
Family

Did you need to find more than one person to confide in?
Only one person

Overall did it work in you favor when you confided in them?
Yes


Are you still living in the closet or slowly making strides with others?
No one else to tell, at least not yet

[katheverson]

Why did you feel it was necessary?
We had been married for 5 years, and I didn't feel like I could keep the secret anymore

How did you feel after confiding in someone?
Relieved, overjoyed, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders..., but read on....

How was their reaction?
She was very calm and understanding initially

Once you decided to confide in someone was it a member of your family, your wife, a friend?
My wife

Did you need to find more than one person to confide in?
No

Overall did it work in you favor when you confided in them?
It did for a while, but later on her attitude changed quite a bit (not sure why). So, I made the dreaded promise that I would 'never do it again...' Yeah, that lasted all of 6 months... Who was I kidding??

Are you still living in the closet or slowly making strides with others?
So, based on the previous answer - yes, I am still living in the closet. I really want to bring it up again, because I have learned so much about myself and where cd'ing fits into my life over the past 5 years. I sometimes wish I had waited until now to tell... I feel much more prepared to answer her questions and really explain my feelings

[Jenny Beth]

A couple of years ago I confided in my wife's younger sister but it was not something I had planned to do. With my wife out of town for the weekend I stayed at her sister's place to have a few beers and shoot pool with her and her husband who's my best friend and a few of his friends. Anyway I got knocked off the table and ended up sitting in a quiet corner with my sister in law. By this time we were well into the beer and "M" made the comment that her sister always seemed to be hiding something from her. I wasn't sure exactly what she meant but I felt she was refering to my wife's secret about me. All of a sudden I had this huge urge to tell "M" what her sister was hiding from her. With the music quite loud and us in the far corner I knew we could not be heard from the pool table and I just started telling her everything. In short she was shocked but not upset and listened to what I had to say. At one point she said I'd had too much to drink and would regret telling her this in the morning but for some reason I felt as sober as a judge telling her all this.

So a little over two years later and I have to say nothing has changed. We have not spoken about this since nor has my wife spoken to her sister about this side of me....or so she tells me. We visit often with them and I always get the best hugs from "M" and I have to believe she is very okay with this. I don't care if she ever sees me en femme and it is not something I feel I need to do. The fact that she knows and accepts me as she did before is enough for me and I consider my coming out to her a success.

[Pip]

Since this is still pretty new for me I have not felt the need to tell anyone. My wife and I discovered it together so she knows but I have no desire to tell anyone else. (except the girl at KatieWannabe....see other thread)

Now, the first weekend we were playing with this my wife told one of her closest friends. I was horrified about it until I heard the response.

"What took you so long!" She said she and a couple of her former beaus played around with it for erotic reasons and it was great. She congratulated us on finding out how great it could be for the relationship in the bedroom. She then added that in history it was always the men who wore make up, wigs, nylons/tights, and so on. Think about our founding fathers sitting around writing the constitution with their little white wigs on and their tights, with a bit of powder on their faces. Interesting concept.

So, the answer is....one person other than my wife and I know, and that is plenty for me at this time!

Pip

[Natalie x]

If you crossdress and you have lived in the closet for the longest time but all of a sudden decided to confide in someone how did you decide to?
I haven't really been in the closet, except that I denied it to myself for my whole life. But when I released Natalie, I found most of my inspiration and confidence through the sisters here.
Why did you feel it was necessary?
As soon as I knew about myself, I knew that I couldn't keep it a secret, and didn't want to
How did you feel after confiding in someone?
I felt glad I had done it, but knew that life could never be the same again
How was their reaction?
Everyone I have told so far has been affirming and supportive. Mind you, I have so far only told people who I feel confident about.
Once you decided to confide in someone was it a member of your family, your wife, a friend?
The first person was a friend who I chat to online. Next my son and his fiancee.
Did you need to find more than one person to confide in?
Yes, I really want everyone to know, although there are one or two people who I may never tell
Overall did it work in you favor when you confided in them?
Yes, I have learnt a lot about those people, and received a lot of support from them. I think in every case it has strengthened my bond with those people
Are you still living in the closet or slowly making strides with others?
Slowly making strides
I was curious because I feel the need to confide in my wife and a close friend and am concerned about the repercussions.
You are right to be cautious about repercussions, although they may be worse if those people find out by other means. My experience is to try to get a quiet time with them, and to lead into the subject gently. Adjust your approach according to the person you are telling, and be sensitive to their feelings. This is a big thing you are telling them, so go easy and show them that you care about how it affects them. You probably don't need to tell too much too soon; if possible, try to just break the ice; you can build up the information over time, and it won't hit quite so hard as it would if you pour it all out at once.
With respect to my wife she already knows but I need a good heart to heart talk with her about it.
Then start with her, and do it soon. If she knows and has not blown a gasket already, then I guess she loves you and will appreciate your honesty.

[emmicd]

Thank you for all your responses! I find them all very interesting and also very helpful. Thanks for all your advice. I really appreciate it!

Emmi

[GypsyKaren]

After living in the closet for 40 years I told my wife about me.I was tired of living a secret life and hiding my real self. Her reaction has been wonderful, we go out dressed together as often as we can. She helps me with shopping and taught me about make-up. Our relationship is stronger because it's now open and honest.

My wife did feel the need at first to confide in someone about it, so she told one of her best friends. My daughter-in-law found information about being tg while using our computer, so we told her, and she told my step-son. Two of my neighbors know because they've seen me leave the house dressed. Since they know I've decided to tell my 3 kids, who are all grown. I've told one so far, one of my sons, and I'm going to tell my other boy next month when we go out to visit him. I'm still unsure about telling my daughter, maybe at some point but not right now.

Everybody we've told is cool with it, including my son. I was so nervous about what their reaction would be, but so far all of my fears have been unfounded. We visited my wife's friend for a week-end, and I was dressed the whole time. She was really great, making me feel welcome and comfortable. I no longer worry about what people will think, I guess I'm at a point in my life where I could really care less. I'm going to live life on my terms from now on.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. Once you let the secret out of the bag you can't put it back in, but I feel that being honest, especially to yourself, is an important part of a relationship. I found out that living a lie just wears you down. I hope things work out for you.
GypsyKaren