Been a long time coming

[Kathy4ever]

The first real opportunity in a long to get all dress up. My wife lost her job three months ago is at home all the time now. She suspects but I guess we have a don't ask don't tell relationship. She freaked a little last year when she caught me dressed, but really have not discussed it since, She and the kids are at the park so I was able to bring out the heels and make up and have some nice alone time dressed. I wish I could discuss it but am too chicken. Too much to lose. Luv her dearly but it is ashame I can;t really be me any more.

[tinkerbell74]

So sorry to hear that. Did she freak out because it was a shock to see you like that or because she doesnt want you to do it? I am a supportive SO but i might have freaked out if i found my hubby dressed and had no clue about it before hand. Maybe you can try to bring that moment up again to her to get her true reaction and go from there, or not go from there what ever the case may be.

Good luck to you.

[DanaR]

I would think that you owe it to her and to yourself to discuss this. She probably has been scared to death, finding you that way and probably thinking the worst.

[Tracy_Victoria]

I would think that you owe it to her and to yourself to discuss this. She probably has been scared to death, finding you that way and probably thinking the worst.

Agree. it clearly is affecting your relationship, when there may not be a need for it to do so. fear of the unknown is always worse, than knowing what your dealing with, it may be very difficult to actually deal with the subject of your crossdressing, but not doing so may lead her to jump to other conclutions which are not even of concern to you, ie are you gay, are you going to leave her, what about the kids, etc.

As she is aware, the best thing is to talk, and clear the air, and find a way forward for both of you (even if that means you dressing in private) however that surely must be better than both stubbling arround each other to scared to talk to each other on the subject, for fear of what the other will say, or do.

ie if Crossdressing is going to destroy a relationship, it will do so, whether she knows or half knows, or doesn't know! So surely the best way forward is to both know the facts and be honest with one another, and to tackle the problem together. At present, she has the fear of thinking what the hell is going on, and you have the fear, of guessing what she will do next?

[JenniferR771]

So drop some hints or let her find some "things" around the house. She will talk to you about it. Or keep her head buried in the sand. Acceptance will be signaled if she is ready for it.

[Jan Michell Collins]

I feel your pain

[sissystephanie]

Kathy,

Dana said it very well. You had not told your wife anything, and then she sees you dressed? What would you think if you saw your wife totally dressed as a man? You would wonder, "What the h***!" Then you compound the problem by not sitting down and explaining!

Correct me if I am wrong, but I am under the impression that you really love your wife! If that is so, you have no reason to be scared to talk to her! You do need to reassure her that no matter what you are wearing, you are still her MAN! I am fairly sure that the supportive SO's on this forum hear that often. I know my late wife did, and she was totally supportive.

Sit down with your wife and tell her that, yes, you do like to wear womens clothing but that you don't want to be a woman. If you really do want to transition, then you have a different set of circumstances! Find out what, if any, restrictions she might want to place on your CD activities. Above all, don't push her!! Move at her pace, not yours!! A happy life can be yours, if you really want it! My late wife and I made it work for almost 50 years!