how often do you hear disparaging comments about CD

[bimini1]

...I seem to always hear someone saying something bad about CD. I am trying to figure out is this the norm or is it just me. I may be overtly sensitive to it maybe I am paranoid but I can't seem to go over a couple of days before I hear some hate coming from somewhere. The television, the job, inside my own head-which is probably the main problem maybe?
Is it just me? No one here seems to be as affected by it as I am. How do you cope? I'm sick of it.
Reading this board is what keeps me sane, alot of CDers here seem to be so happy and at peace.

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah it is true there are a lot of rude-ass comments in public or in the media about TG.

The thing is, when something hits close to home you notice it more.
Kind of like -
When you were 5 years old, and everything in a dark room looked like a monster.

When the condom broke and all the sudden all's you saw on TV were commercials about baby products.

When you started a new diet and That very moment they "beefed up" (yes pun) on the food commercials.

So, yeah, I am getting better but I go thru times when I feel like the whole world is out to laugh at TG people. Just remember a few things -

People who have a real problem with us typically don't have any room to laugh at anyone. I notice I have problems with heavy set women giving me nasty looks :brolleyes: Those who have a real problem with TG tend to have a problem with everything.

Even if the world IS out to make a mockery of us, it is just a rough patch on the road to acceptance. Blacks, gays, whoever, went thru it.

Finally, you kind of get to a point of apathy of what people think. I am not talking about just being able to turn the other cheek, I mean you get to a point where you don't even think about some girly top you are wearing or about your feminine hygiene like shaved body hair. Really, what are you going to do, worry and be tense ALL the time?

Bullies and haters tend to pick on people who appear nervous and an easy target. If someone doesn't appear nervous, wouldn't the hater look stupid if he ran off his mouth?

When you feel nervous, make sure you are walking tall and have a look like "Yeah, I am wearing (whatever), and what would your mindless comment be?"

The TG haters and crap talkers are doing us a favor. They are actually raising awareness about us. People will get so used to hearing about TG that one day someone will be like "Yeah yeah Joe likes to wear a dress..., hey so did you see on msn.com about the new banking rules..."

[Cathytg]

I do hear such comments once in a while; but not very often. It all comes from our own treatment of CD in films and television where writers tend to snigger and treat it like some kind of silly child's play.

But, I will counter your question with another - what is your response when you hear someone make such comments? I am afraid that I tend to ignore it although I never laugh along with the crowd. But I/we really ought to use the moment as a teaching experience.

But, then, there are a lot of things that I really ought to do.

[Noxvictum]

I don't hear much of anything. It never really comes up. Then again, I'm pretty oblivious. Don't watch much TV, don't go out much. Far as I can tell, no one is really hunting us down in any sense of the word. We're still pretty far under the radar. The only reason jokes on TV ever come up is because of good 'ol Bugs Bunny. Nothing occurs to anyone until we're clocked. Ha, got carded once en femme. "Yeah, that's me" and I gave her a real big smile. Got one back, too. Ah, good times.

[dameroxy]

Unfortunately, but fortunately as well, my beloved and I moved back home to our native state, redneck, backward and horrifically homophobic and all-things "not normal" terrified as it is, because of family ties. Well... that and no place else is as beautiful as "home." ...and the fishing is really good....and you can build a big fence and act like a hermit...and whoops! We can't go out anywhere local when he's in the mood to be She. We have to travel 40 miles to "the city" for anonimity and safety. YES, there are a lot of stupid and arcane opinions about CD out there! Sometimes I guess you just have to dodge, or fight...and choose carefully. We are just realizing this. Sad but all too often true.

Loves,
Dameroxy

[wendy360]

In my opinion people like to pick on groups or things around them that they don't understand and are in the minority. It' easier to disparage something you don't understand or is different than trying to understand it and accepting who or what they are. It is not just C/D or trans gender but also ethnic, racial and religons that are disparaged out of ignorance.

[Jan W]

I rang the company that provides my companies software last week and the lady I usually talk to was suffering a bad cold.

I commented on her unusual sounding voice and she said "I know, I have been told I sound like a transvestite."

I couldn't help myself. I replied "some of my best friends are transvestites."

She laughed but I bet she had a long think about my comment later on!

Anyway, I sound better than her!


Janny

[Fab Karen]

Rarely, if at all. Can't recall anything.

[christinek]

Yeah it is true there are a lot of rude-ass comments in public or in the media about TG.

The thing is, when something hits close to home you notice it more.
Kind of like -

When the condom broke and all the sudden all's you saw on TV were commercials about baby products.

People who have a real problem with us typically don't have any room to laugh at anyone. I notice I have problems with heavy set women giving me nasty looks :brolleyes: Those who have a real problem with TG tend to have a problem with everything.

Oh so true,

When you lose a pet and all thats on TV is pet food commercials and ads for Pet Smart.

I have heard comments in my community and I am an active part of it so I keep my mouth shut but you are correct those making the comments have no place doing so as they are so far from perfect. Big nasty overweight guy running his mouth.

How come we cant get cars to run on all that hot air :D

I think those that are the most critical need to stop and reflect into a mirror, or maybe they have and it is dark and cold in there. They need to be critical to help relieve their pain.

[AllieSF]

In the almost 3 years of dressing and going out in public, I have never heard a disparaging remark about crossdressers, nor transgenders. Maybe I live a too sheltered life, or maybe not everyone is talking about this and we tend to make a mountain out of a molehill. I really do not know nor care.

[baby beluga]

rarely but when i do it's almost always a result of the large majority of crossdressers having absolutely no sense of style at all.

[Danielle Gee]

But, I will counter your question with another - what is your response when you hear someone make such comments? I am afraid that I tend to ignore it although I never laugh along with the crowd. But I/we really ought to use the moment as a teaching experience.

But, then, there are a lot of things that I really ought to do.

Good point Cathy, One can change some peoples bias if you hold it up and show them how ignorant it looks.

I work in a large factory and there are people of all opinions. Sometime the topic comes around to Gays, Lesbians, Transsexuals or even CDs. The comments are almost uniformly negative. When this subject comes up in my presense, I usually comment that what folks do in their personal life is their business. I also make the point that, unlike wife-beaters,rapists,and other various thugs and gang-bangers; these folks aren't harming anyone.

In most cases this usually causes sheepish agreement for the most part. It's my belief that for the most part intolerance isn't deeply held ....It's merely a weak person trying to fit in to what they believe the majority thinks.

Of course this doesn't hold true in all cases, as various world events have demonstrated.....:2c:

[nicole 555]

It seem when you are a cd you seem to hear it more and more ,but no one know I am. I just do not say anything it seem to be safer to keep my mouth closed and just listen. I would love to set them straight but the after math would be so bad. the biggest thing no one understand us they are scared of us I think. maybe they think it rub off HA HA

[bimini1]

It is a fact of life I'm going to have to get over if I am to ever find true peace. I keep playing this same old victim game like a scratched record I'm afraid, over and over. The negativity is not going away. It's not even about them, or society, it's something I've got to change about me.

I was all set to dress last night after work, and then this garbage started again at the job. I've posted about it before, these folks seem to be hell bent on it. It completely ruined my mood the comments kept ringing over and over in my head, by the time I got home I was racked with too much guilt to dress.
I let them get at me again, its just relentless it seems. Its like I am just too weary to fight it in my mind anymore, like just throw my hands up in the air and surrender, allright you win, I quit. Sometimes the weight of all the stuff I've heard down thru the years feels like it is driving me insane.
I need to get back into therapy.

[AlannahNorth]

It is a fact of life I'm going to have to get over if I am to ever find true peace. I keep playing this same old victim game like a scratched record I'm afraid, over and over. The negativity is not going away. It's not even about them, or society, it's something I've got to change about me.



I think you have it there. I've had a life mostly beset with problems, and would not care to re-live most of it. Over the past year I've been working on myself - and it's been the best move ever. Not that this is the first time (far from it) but consistently and with some guidance. Not easy. Results so far are good, and my world is getting a lot better.

Be good to yourself.

[Teri Jean]

Bimini there is going to be those who strike out for a number of reasons but in a large part people accept but may not support CDing. After reading a number of posts I have developed this reasoning. People at heart are curious but if it is something they cannot understand easily they take a very negative stance. If a person sees a lifestyle that doesn't fit in their predetermined life it must be bad and therefore is a point of ridicule and off colored jokes.

So when I hear the of colored jokes and ridicule I look at it as uninformed individuals who for their own reasons will always be as such. Just be safe and let the skin get a little thicker and develop your own self defense system.

JMO, Teri with huggs

[sherri52]

many times I hear the comment and later the person who said it comes out. It was probably thier way of denial at that time

[Nicole Erin]

People may not like CD's but they are just going to have to live with it cause the world is getting more diverse. Diversity is here to stay.

[MiraM]

I hear more negative remarks about Gays/Lesbians than I do about CD's. For the most part, when I hear either, they tend to shut up fast when I let them know I am both Gay and also Crossdress. People seem to spew most of their crap when the believe that everyone around them shares the same opinion. I find they back down rather quickly when I challenge their misguided, uninformed bunk. They must be scared of little ole queer me.