I am such a tool

[Xenia]

Shortly after my wife and I moved here to Baltimore, we were at one of the local malls and I noticed that the Nordstrom Rack store, shockingly, carried a small selection of women's shoes in sizes that might actually fit me--14 and 15. We didn't really have time for me to browse right then, but I figured I'd have to make a field trip at some point to explore a bit more.

So this morning, with nothing else in particular to do, I got up earlyish to beat the crowds and headed out.

Predictably, despite a mostly empty shoe department, I lost my nerve. Did a little mallwalking and people-watching, then headed home. Oh well.

As fate would have it, what did I see on my drive home through downtown but a fellow CD, having an out-and-about day. Didn't look like she was going for the passable look--sort of a mannish walk and a beard shadow I could see from my car at 30 MPH--but it did look like she was having a lovely time mingling with the crowds.

Just what I needed to hammer home what a big fat chicken I am. :sigh:

[sherri52]

that cd has done this before and again and again. Your time will come

[Kathi Lake]

Xenia, it honestly is a very fun time. You need to either "man up and get girly" or swallow your manly pride - whatever is keeping you from doing this. Get out there, girl! You can do it!

Kathi

[docrobbysherry]

Well, at LEAST you're a chicken, Xenia! And NOT a rooster!:heehee:

Welcome to the hen house with us other chickens!:)

[dragdoll]

i seldomly ever pass up a chance to buy something i see that i like (unless i cant afford it) because i know it'll probably be gone the next day.

[Andy66]

Haha! Most people are chickens at times. Don't worry about it, but get back to that store immediately because larger size shoes that are not mail order are just too rare to pass up.

By the way, thanks for the tip. I manage a shoe department in a department store, and it's always good to know where to send people if I don't have what they're looking for.

I would gladly sell shoes to crossdressers if I have their right size in stock, or if I can special order it. Any sales person who gives you an attitude shouldn't be in that line of work, and any other shopper who gives you attitude should mind their own business.

[diannecourtney]

We havw a rack store opening in Sept, boy do i look forward to it now. I havw just bought the lovelist pair of Italian shoes from Nordstrom. They are my second and they both are fantastically sized.

[KristiMartin]

I get the same way sometimes myself. Especially if I haven't done it in awhile. It takes a bit for me to get used to shopping again and to just put on my "big girl panties (tm)" and get back out there and shop.

The sales people really don't care most of the time, they just want the sale.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I can almost guarantee you that if a store sells womens shoes in that size that you are by far not the first male customer they'll have in there trying them on.

I shop at Payless a lot because their 11-12 ranges, depending on the width of the shoe, often fit me, and one time I went in there and the salesgirl came down the aisle just as I was trying on a pair of pumps and inside I panicked but I decided to put on the calmest exterior I could. All that happened was she smiled and asked how they fit and then if I did shows. Apparently one of the other employees there is a guy who does drag shows, so I told her no, I just crossdress and then since I was the only customer there, I even went out to my car and got the dress I had just bought at target and she helped me find shoes to go with it.

[CindyLouWho]

Xenia,

Please, stop beating yourself up. Just take things at your own pace and you'll get to where you want to go! The mall scares me too, and I frequently go out for walks dressed up.

I've also worked in big retail, I know that the stores want our money as well, and so prepare their sales associates for customers like us, so that we don't receive adverse reactions.

There's also shopping in guy mode. I've done this many times without so much as a questioning look from a SA, they are really pretty nice . . . and if anyone does ask try this.



Every year about this time I get a little card in the mail from Victoria's Secret. It's addressed to Ms. ***** (my real name). It's for a free pair of panties and $10 off the purchase of a bra. Yesterday I took it to my local VS store (in drab) and the clerk helping me kind of ho hum asks "what size does she need?" I replied "I generally wear a 6-8 panty and a 36C bra." The SA got this confused look on her face. I showed her the name on the card and my driver's license. "They're for me". The SA broke out into a genuine smile and asked "would you like to try on the bra?" I looked around, the store had two other younger women in it, browzing. "yes, I would." I was showed to the dressing room like any other girl. I ended up buying two Emanuella bras and the matching panties (one was free):).

Some days are just girly great...even in drab.

Michelle


Love,
Cindy

[dragdoll]

she smiled and asked how they fit and then if I did shows.

i hate this! i've been asked this before, a couple of times. apparently it is the popular assumption of most rubes that if you crossdress that you must be a drag performer...or a prostitute. idiots.

[Miranda09]

I know what you mean Xenia. I often do the same thing...get the notion to go to a dress barn or some other boutique, and when I get there, I chiken out. How I got up the nerve to go into Ulta and get makeup for myself I don't know....But, it sure was fun!! One step at a time. :)

[Jamie001]

I agree, just put on your big girl panties (tm) and go try on the shoes. You are not doing anything indecent or illegal. It is just shoes and you will see women all of the time in the men's aisles trying on men's shoes. It's not a big deal.

[JulieC]

I frequently go shopping with my wife. She loves to go shoe shopping in particular (that and dresses). When shopping for shoes, I often go through the women's shoe department looking for shoes that she would probably like and then bring them round to her to see if she does. I of course look for myself too, but usually this is about bringing her stuff to try on.

I've done this zillions of times. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen women react negatively because I can't remember a time when any woman did! If you act like you know what you're doing, people generally don't care.

Now, it might be different if I tried the shoes on in front of them. I don't do that :) There's my chicken kicking in :)

[Kathi Lake]

I love trying them on in front of people! For the most part, I never get bad looks or things said to me. Sometimes there will be a snicker. Sometimes an eye-roll. However, there have also been times when they will engage me in conversation, say they look cute, ask how I can glide so well in heels when they just waddle, etc. Just do it!

Kathi

[Xenia]

Please, stop beating yourself up. Just take things at your own pace and you'll get to where you want to go!

Heh. Thanks for the kind words, but I really wasn't beating myself up....that's just my usual self-effacing humor. The juxtaposition of those two things just made me have a little chuckle at how ridiculous I can be. Gotta be able to laugh at yourself every now and then, right? :)

Heck, I know there's no logical reason I should be so bashful about stuff like this. History would indicate that I'll only wuss out three or four more times before growing a pair.


Maybe five.


Six, tops.


:)



...ask how I can glide so well in heels when they just waddle, etc.

Somehow I think the best I could hope for in this vein would be, "Wow, you fall over so gracefully! And that ankle totally doesn't look broken...just a little sprain!" :)

[Kathi Lake]

Now, now. I'm sure you've grown a pair. It's possible that they simply haven't dropped yet. :) Give the poor little things time, dear!

Kathi

[Angie G]

Shopping is no big thing Xenia you can do it girl. Most of us found it hard at first. Now let me say JUST DO IT GIRL.
Angie

[cdoll]

I have a hard time out shopping also. I pick things up and then I chicken out.

[Charleen]

Shopping? Did someone say shopping? For shoes no less? I'm outta here! Where's my bag?

[MichelleP]

Hi Xenia,

Warning, once you do start shopping without a care - oh boy, it can be very addictive, girl! Shopping for shoes at Nordie's rack is one of my favorites. Sometimes the shoes are all jumbled and its like an Easter-egg hunt to find a matching pair. I try on shoes in drab or dressed. The only comments I've ever gotten in drab are "hey, those are cute" or "those are darling, what size are do you wear?" (this is when I have to ask for the other shoe). I wear an 8 typically so I'm usually over in the section thick with GGs - the bottom line is: they don't care. Shoe shopping is a girl's rite of passage! Have fun!

Michelle

[Gerard]

I've chickened out several times near shops too. Never found the courage yet - thank god for online stores.

I'll find the courage some day...

[RobertaFermina]

There's a little truth in everything I say about myself, maybe for you too ? :heehee:

Send your inner-chicken a little Love:love:, and your inner Hen:doll: too!

Maybe you can take both of them to Nordstrom's Rack soon !

:battingeyelashes:
:rose: Roberta :rose:

[sarahNZ]

You actually found a store that stocks size 14 and you didn't get any???

I demand you go right back and buy those shoes!! then send me a pair as well:D

If only I could find a store here that stocks larger than the norm size shoes I'd be in heaven. :tongueout

[Michelle55]

Don't hate me... I wear size 8 1/2 or 9 so I can shop anywhere! My SO wears about 1/2 size smaller shoes. She has borrowed some of my shoes from time to time.

[Alice Green]

that cd has done this before and again and again. Your time will come

I agree your time will come, and mine will too.

[Monika G]

Xenia, Why do you think the Rack stocks those larger sizes? Nordstrom will gladly take anyone's money. The Rack in San Francisco gets all the larger sizes just for us gurls.

[Jenny J]

Xenia-

I think the problem is forcing yourself to stop shopping. I can't go by a Payless without at least looking in the window. My CD budget gets shot to hell when I shoe shop.

It's been my experience that the sales people want to sell you shoes regardless of what kind. I've even had one tell me that it was BOGO and go get another pair, half price!

Jen

:rose2:

[TxKimberly]

It's OK, the very vast majority of us have been there and done that. If you read about all the stupid things I do . . . err . . . I mean all of the out and about things I do these days, you might be tempted to think that I've always been at it, and you would be dead wrong. It took me years of trying and failing to get the guts up to walk in to a store and just go buy what I wanted. Even when I DID start doing it, I'd play stupid games like starting in the mens section and sort of sneaking my way to the womens. When I did take it to the counter I would offer some stupid excuse: "Yeah, this is for my wife. Think she'll like it?" Of course the SA would just look at me and smile, knowing damn good and well I was lying. Eventually I just got to the point where I was irritated with the game, irritated with the nerves, and irritated with myself, and I haven't looked back since. By the way, trust me on this - you will draw far less attention if you just go in, find what you want, smile at people that smile at you, pay for it , and leave. Don't "sneak" your away around and don't offer any excuses. Most SA's are working on "auto pilot". Grab the item, scan the item, bag the item. For the most part they don't even pay attention to WHAT the item is or if it may or may not be appropriate for the person buying it. When you start making excuses, you kick their auto pilot off and they start to pay attention. lol



Don't hate me... I wear size 8 1/2 or 9 so I can shop anywhere! My SO wears about 1/2 size smaller shoes. She has borrowed some of my shoes from time to time.

Sorry, I'm gonna have to go ahead and hate you!

[Southern Jenni]

I'm right there with you, hun. I was looking at a pair of size 14 patten leather platform heels at a Halloween store yesterday. Only $25 and I chickened out.. at a Halloween store!!! jeez. Probably for the best, the shoes woulda made me close to 7 feet tall... lol

[Rebecca Jayne]

after my first 1000 failures I approached it like I was at Home Depot buying tools, which I know, And I know what I want in Fem, so now "I Chic Up" with the panties, bras , shoes , dresses, just like I would a drill or a bucket of paint, and its all good.

The best part is waiting in line to pay with an armload of pretty things and the line moves ever so slooooowwwwllyyyy, "I just put on a happy face."