Reaction after telling daughters.

[Teri Jean]

The other day I told my daughters of my desires to transition from CD to TG and by far they were not surprised that I CDed but there was concerns of TG.
Well we set it up for them to have breakfast here and discuss the questions that they had as far as my life choices.

First off I lost my wife and their mother two years ago this spring and then this spring my son-in-law decided he wanted to have gf and that marriage ended, and now I decide to transition. That is a lot for anyone to process in a couple of years and my eldest said so, but added she just wanted a couple years of a stable family life and yet supported my desires to dress as a woman as I see fit. My youngest was concerned about my safety, physical safety, as the area I live in is very conservative. She also didn't want me to be hurt by the bigotry that she sees in people and family members. Then there is the family and how would they process this news.

There was the whole series of questions about my involvement with the American Legion, would they ostracize me and remove my commanders picture from the wall. Bannish me from their membership even though I am paid up for life. Then there is the other veterans organizations, six others, that I am life members or members of and what would they do. I have in part become a respected member of these organizations because of my desire to promote veterans and their service to our country.

In a way they pointed out what I knew would be a sticky point but in a way that you may be to close to see. So the discussion closed in a way that only my girls could have done, hugs and kisses with I love you Dad. tears of love

So where does that leave me, Teri, well you might say complicated. Not confussed as I was before me sat down but in a nutshell, continue with my therapy appointments and move to HRT and non-op transgender. In this way I feel I can honor their concerns and yet be the girl I need to be (to a point).

Does that make sense to everyone? Sacrifice for the common good and yet be true to yourself? Sorry for the length of this post.

Huggs Teri :drink::love::hugs:

[Sara Jessica]

I feel for you Teri, of course for the loss you have experienced but also the difficult decisions you are facing.

Balance is a difficult thing to achieve in dealing with this tg thing and a relationship. You are illustrating a need to balance from a somewhat different perspective. I wish I had some advice for you but I really don't. I'm struggling with balance myself on a daily basis. I do wish you the best as you embark on a new part of your journey.

[Teri Jean]

Sara there is as many different ways of approaching a balance as there are individuals and I guess this is going to be mine. Thank you for your thoughts and well wishes. I wish you success also and with big huggs.

Teri

[Patricia Jane]

I would never tempt to tell anyone what to do, but I think you are doing the right things. Your Family knows and is satisfied with yor decision-----That alone gives you Freedon. No secrects! Dress as often as you want. I think The more you dress you become more satisfied with yoursef. Any decision you make is yours, but my prayers are for you.:love:

[Angie G]

I think that would be a good thing for you. If that's what will make you happy. I do hope it will and you find whay your looking for Teri.:hugs:
Angie

[docrobbysherry]

Let us know if the American Legion, or ANY OTHER organization slights u for your choice! :sad:

I, for one, would quit them like they had the PLAGUE!:Angry3:

[Teri Jean]

Sherry and all other Vets,
I for one love working for vets and before I get to the point of transitioning I will not fill an office. Although I see no problem with my transition there will be a higher percentage of members who would have a different view. That would be my only reason for leaving but if there was retaliation I would say that would be over the top.

Let's wait and see. Teri

[Margot]

To honour your daughters' request for a couple of years stability I guess you will not be dressing in front of them and that's only fair.
Good luck anyway.
Margot

[gabe]

I do not know the intricate politics of the American Legion, so I will offer no opinions. If I were a veteran, I would want someone who is passionate about veteran issues to work on my behalf, it should be immaterial whether that is a man, woman, TG, gay or lesbian. The important issue is how hard you want to work for veteran issues. You will have an advantage, you understand the issues from both a man and a woman's perspective. That makes you a very valuable asset. That is what I would think.

As far as transitioning is concerned, that is a very serious decision, you have struggled with it. While there are new societal issues to contend with, you will be moving into uncharted territory, but what the world and people around you get out of it is the same person, just a lot happier and possibly a lot more productive. That is what we need more of in this world - happy, productive people who are working to make a difference!

Just my thoughts. Good luck to you.

[paulaN]

Teri I know how you feel. I am not in the transition phase or anything like that. But I do have the freedom to dress more and I am in kinda the same boat. How far do I go with all of this tg stuff? How far is my freedom going to take me?
I just wanted to say I wish you the very best. And may the process of making these huge life choices be easy. Heck I know better than that. Good luck Teri

[Sandra]

So where does that leave me, Teri, well you might say complicated. Not confussed as I was before me sat down but in a nutshell, continue with my therapy appointments and move to HRT and non-op transgender. In this way I feel I can honor their concerns and yet be the girl I need to be (to a point).



I think your quite some person to do this Teri and admire you greatly for doing so :hugs:

[vivianann]

I live and work in very conservative areas, and I am out to everyone about my crossdressing, the conservatives wont attack you if they see you in a dress. I know this because of my experience being out and about in a small town and in other places where there are alot of conservatives, and I am a conservative myself, I have found that peaple whether they are consevative or liberal really dont care as long as you do not do stupid things while enfemme.:2c:

[Sheila]

Teri, my best wishes and support for you and your family on your journey, wherever it may eventually lead you, :)

I admire the compromise you are willing to make for your family and the love care and concern you are all showing for each other is wonderful to see :hugs:

[pamela_a]

Teri

I'm glad the talk went well with your daughters. I'm sure it's a huge weight off your shoulders knowing they're going to be there for you.

Where you go from here is entirely up to you. I don't want to presuppose anything but you need to live your life. I appreciate your willingness to put some things off for the sake of "family stability" but, unless I'm wrong, aren't both of your daughters out on their own now? Living their lives as they see fit?

I understand what you've gone through the past couple of years has been traumatic and trying but is the past reason forestall your future? Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, life is today.

Please don't think I'm trying to push you but I do want you to ask yourself what "sacrifice for the common good" is anyone else making or is it just you making the sacrifice? What difference will it really make in anyone else's life by you putting off following your heart and becoming who you are? These are things only you can answer.

I understand these decisions are not easy nor the choices always clear but that is life. You only have one life and it's right now; not tomorrow, next week, or next year.

Only you can know what's best but don't sell yourself or your happiness short needlessly.

Hugs for my sis

-Pam-