Coming out

[cameron1969]

I have been worried what mty family will think about me if I come out to them. I was so frightened and lost I came out to my biological mother and biological father who is a post op MtF. Bot told me I was destroying there daughter and wanted nothing to do with me. I felt so lost and alone. I hope my biological father would understand but he told me i was dead to her. I lost and feeling rather frazzled and lost right now on what I should do now.

Cameron

[Ze]

Um...wow. Sorry, but your biological dad is a complete hypocrite! I can't believe one transperson would put down another. Well, okay, I can believe that, but especially not when they're family! Can you think of any reason why she'd be so intolerant of you, yet expect tolerance in return? I'm assuming you've been giving her moral support all this time...

I'm sorry I can't be of any help to you, but hang in there. :hugs:

[sandra-leigh]

I really don't understand how your father could think that way about you... I agree, if anyone should understand, she should, having gone through the op herself.

It has been noted that cross-dressers (especially ones eager to transition) appear to have higher rates of selfishness and narcissism. It sounds like your father might be thinking of herself: you don't fit the pattern of how she wants things, so you're the bad guy :(

[Ze]

Well, if she's post-op, she's likely a transexual, not a cross-dresser. :) But still, the behavior isn't cool.

[Bethany38]

Wow Cameron, I cannot believe what I am reading here. I hope that they were just in shock and will come around. I would of thought your Father of all people would have had some empathy at the very least considering her history of being a MtoF. I wish I could take away your pain.

Bethany

[Sheila]

Cameron, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now ........... I hope that given the circumstances surrounding you biological father he/she will have a very quick re-think and make a sincere & quick apology. I also hope it is just shock with your mum and that given time she will come round

:hugs: Sheila

[cameron1969]

I would like to thank you all for the support, But I havebeen out for a week now and my second mom, my biological father, still thinks i'm ruining her life by changing my life to be the man i should have been born as. My biological mother is strting to come around. She doesn't like the fact she losing a daughter, but she gaining a another son.

[Seamus_Jameson]

Rough stuff. Just hang in there. Family is family, you know.

I know what it's like to be rejected by close loved ones for something beyond one's control (and I haven't even told them about being trans). A lot of the guys and gals here can relate to what you are going through. Sometimes folks come around.

Unfortunately, sometimes they don't. I hope you realized that before you came out--if not, I feel for you doubly. As Trey and others have advised me and I am coming to know for myself, it is impossible to judge people's reactions in advance. You will lose some people you thought were unshakeable. Conversely, you will find support in some people you thought would never ever accept you.

My prayers are with you.

[Thornton]

:doh: your second mom makes no sense....you'd think that out of everyone, your second mom would be most accpeting and understanding....but apparently not so...

perhaps she's taking your coming out on herself, like she's somehow to blame for you being different?

[Alana65]

It's apalling to me, that your dad/2nd mom offers no understanding/support for you.........but Thornton brings up a good point.

I hope everything ends-up working out for you. :hugs:

[sherri52]

So sorry about you dads reaction. I consider my dad an Archie Bunker but but he didn't disown me when he found out. I can't do it in front of him but to him I am still his son. With four sisters I guess he didn't want another daughter.

[SirTrey]

Hey Cameron....This is rough, man, so sorry to hear it....I do know how you are feeling, trust Me....I also killed My parents' "daughter"....and I don't have a family anymore as a result....I have seen a lot of parents come around reading peoples' stories here on the board, but I have also seen some who do not....Even friends, etc. As Seamus said, it's one person at a time....and people absolutely will surprise you, both for the better and the worse....and you just can't predict who is who, much as you think you can....Suddenly, YOUR coming out becomes all about THEM....If your family is like Mine, expect lots of emotional manipulation to come down the line next....emotional blackmail, lashing out at you, etc. Only YOU can know if you are willing to pay the emotional price for simply being who you are....but, very often, there is one....and it can be very high....Just know that going in....:hugs:

[metalguy639]

Sorry that your family is not doing well with this. At first most families do not do well from what I've seen. They are right though sometimes people surprise you, sometimes not so much. Good luck and hang in there.

[Christina Horton]

That pisses my off to no end.She you dad should be the most supportive person you have . Does nit make sense. When I told my family back in 92 I was 22 I knew my mom would be ok with it and knew my dad would hate it. But guess what my mom hated it and did not ever want to talk or see me dressed and dad was ok but was worried about my safety. The still loved me and that did not change just the support was never there, with my mom. Until last month. See my thread link in my signature . Long story short my mom has now see Christina and going shopping with her and has defended me to (of all people ) my dad who did not want to see Christina. I took all that time for mom to come around and that time for dad to change his mind a little. I mean don't get me wrong y dad would talk to me about my CDing just would be uncomfortable seeing his Son as his daughter. He even jokes that( my sis is gay) he lost a son and a daughter but gained a son and daughter. My sis is a huge tom bay but does not to have SRS. I don't want it either but after all Tam and me plus My Uncle under dresses you know panties hose slips night gowns,High heal pumps, he just does not want to go full out like I do.
Any way I hope they come around soon but just give them time and maybe tell them that this is not about them or how they feel about it , that it's your live you have to be true to and YOUR feeling that need to be taken care of , not theirs. I hope that help and I wish you luck and joy.

[DaphneGrey]

Wow I am glad your out, but so sorry for what your going through. I have no great insight to add, just wanted to let you know I care!

[its just me 919]

i agree.... if it wasok for your biological father, then how come she cannot accept it for you? that isnt right and is NOT what should be coming from someone who loves you... you do what is best for you