A Day of Firsts

[Nicole Parker]

What a day! My first post (I have been around for sometime though), my first purchased dress, my first time to dress completely (at least from the neck down), and my first time to stay dressed for more than an hour or two. My story is like so many here, so I will not bore you with the details other than to say I seriously repressed these feelings for many years. Then like many I found the internet and discovered I was not so weird after all. I have 3 days alone and am determined to spend as many of these hours as Nicole. After several shopping stops for nails, the dress, some panties, and other items to finish the look, I arrived home and emerged as Nicole. What a feeling of calm and relief. There were a few missteps. No one told me to put on panty hose before you put on your nails. The strange thing is the resulting feelings are not what I expected. Many years ago my limited dressing attempts seemed to satisfy some sexual need. But today was not sexual in anyway. I am so relaxed. I watched Project Runway and The Project Runway Models as Nicole and felt that this is who I was meant to be. I am afraid I have opened Pandora's Box as this could lead to some serious repercussions. My wife of more than 30 years will have no tolerance for this. I do not know where this is headed, but if I pursue this, I could find myself becoming Nicole more every day. Sorry to get so deep, but I needed to put this down. Kind of a therapy session. I have never told anyone about my feelings. I have been holding this inside for almost 50 years. You do not know how hard it was to type this. I could only do this as Nicole. Just having this forum has been my therapy for the last year or so. Sorry to go so long.

[Angie G]

Hi Nicole welcome to the family enjoy your stay. And we know how hard it is to get started relax we like you already girl. You may wish to stop by the new Members forum for a proper intro.:hugs:
Angie

[dai101]

hello and welcome to a great place to enjoy first ,seconds and all kinds of info and fun enjoy and have fun welcome to the best place on the planet
dai:)

[Marcia Blue]

Nicole, your day sounds like you had a great time. Just remember thet you are not alone in your feelings.

[Joann0830]

Nicole I am a Senior in age and on here I am soon to be 61 on the 30th of this Month, days away, The feelings that you have we have all been thru them, some like myself, since I was about 7 years old thru my teens and later on in life as they say and I am still feeling them but I enjoy them so very much. I enjoy being who I am and have been thru the fear part with my spouse and my children and it was all what I use to say " Fear of the unknown" I explained in detail to my wife that this did not happen overnite but since I was about 7 Years old and I too supressed these feelings but cannot anymore. My daughters know now and even friends and everyone accepts me as I am not going to change nor do I want to for them, I say this not being harse but everyone has some secrets but I am willing to share. There are ways to express yourself in your masculine role as many of us do. But that is somewhere on this site. I or should I say we understand what you are going thru, enjoy yourself and as I always say everything is not always Black and white but understand there is gray in between and that gray is you brain matter that will help you to think things out and get rid of the fear. If I can be of any help please write me, Enjoy yourself Nicole because that is who you are inside and let her come out and enjoy the days. Great Luck and
Look as Beautiful as you are inside and out. Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love:

[jillnjcd]

welcome - and enjoy the day and take each one as it comes -

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Nicole,

Great choice of names by the way.... :battingeyelashes:

I too am an older girl who started out much as you did, only maybe a few years earlier than you did. You have now chosen to follow your heart and embrace this inner portion of your being. Keep with it and enjoy it to the fullest, it is a wonderful way to live.

I reach the point that you are currently at a number of years ago and have continued to advance the projection of my inner self. I venture out 2-4 days a week fully dressed and totally enjoy the feeling of being seen, and hopefully accepted, as the person I am projecting. Keep going and you will learn to enjoy the feeling of going into a ladies clothing store fully dressed, picking out a new outfit and going into a dressing room to try it on before buying it. Another great feeling comes from going and buying your makeup and asking a sales associate for advice on new styles and trends.

I sincerely hope that you find the joy and sheer pleasure that I have found by being Nicole.

Nicole

[boardpuppy]

The roller coster ride can be a bit much at times but stick with it and you will feel better. Put your questions out here, we all have our opinions, you can form a conclusion that works for you. All the knowledge in the world is here just tap it and your world will level out.


Hugs,
Alice

[Alice B]

Welcome to the family. It is very possible that your wife's reaction may not be as severe as you think. If you are open and honest with her, answer her questions with total honesty and assure her that you are not gay, do not want to become a full time woman and just want to get in touch with your female side and relax from the daily stress of life. Good luck.

[Nicole Parker]

Thank all of you so much for your comments and support. My weekend as Nicole is coming to an end. The last thing to go will be the toe nail polish, and that is so torturing me. I so envy you with supportive SO's and also envy and admire those of you who venture out with confidence and grace. I cannot imagine myself getting to that level at this point. I have a long way to go with the look from the neck up. The whole make up thing is hard for me to get down. I feel like I look like the Joker from the last Batman movie. When Angie referred to me as "girl" in her welcome post, that just blew me away. I have a lot of thinking to do as this weekend has been a revelation and I am not sure where this is heading. I will use this forum for tips, advice, and mentoring. Thanks to Nicole Brown, JoAnn, and Marcia for your thoughts.
I think I am getting all misty.

[carrie-ann]

enjoy the site and welcome.