sisies are someone else.

[drushin703]

going to my car the other nitght, my neighbor who had seen me dressed as
a woman befor, decided to confront me.He called me many names but the one
that I remember most was a f-----in sissy.Now I will put on my pink frills with
the best of them but I have never considered myself as a sissy.I always con-
sidered sisies to be someone else....what do you ladies think. dana.

[Lorileah]

I think your neighbor was born in a pig sty and raised by neanderthals (Sorry Geico guys). But that's just one intelligent person's opinion.

Some people are proud to be called sissies so to them it would have been a compliment. We are who we are.

[Wen4cd]

"Sissy" is, I believe, a sub-genre of crossdressing. Usually one will advertise the fact that they like the word, or the scene, if one does.

By the way, wtf is wrong with your neighbor? Damn, what a douchebag.

[Jessica Who]

I think your neighbor was born in a pig sty and raised by neanderthals (Sorry Geico guys). But that's just one intelligent person's opinion.


:tw: LOL Good one

[Sweet Jane]

i'm not a sissy.....i'm just me

what do i think?....i think your neighbour has some personal issues he needs to sort out, because whoever you are providing you are not hassling him, is not his business.......sadly though we see it everyday though don't we, people who just need to bully....

[Ashley_in_Texas]

I'm not a violent person (unless provoked), but, If that had happened to me, he would have found himself in the hospital having a high heel removed from a sensitive place. And I would be shopping for new heels.:devil:

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hey girl, I don't know if you're a sissy or not, but I do know your neighbor is an incredible, flaming a-hole.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Shari]

You should have taken a swing at him.

[TNLadiGG]

Love your solution Ashley! Hey, and any occasion to buy new heels is a good thing. Shoes rock!

drushin703, your neighbor is a serious jerk. I think you should come up with a creative way of setting him straight.

[Daphne Renee]

I have to agree with the others. I dont know why some people take it upon themselves to hassle other or to get into other peoples business. I think your neighbor has his own issues. Maybe he is a closet CD?

[Heatherx75]

What grade is this guy in, 4th? 5th? I guess he's a tough guy because he had the guts to go and pick on a crossdresser? Or more likely that's how he reaffirms his masculinity after he gets off the phone at 1900-*******...
Just as long as that guy knows you're not afraid of him, you'll be allright.

[Fab Karen]

Odds are high he's hunting the net for naked pics of men. IF he continues to harass you, call the police.

[Youkje]

going to my car the other nitght, my neighbor who had seen me dressed as
a woman befor, decided to confront me.He called me many names but the one
that I remember most was a f-----in sissy.Now I will put on my pink frills with
the best of them but I have never considered myself as a sissy.I always con-
sidered sisies to be someone else....what do you ladies think. dana.

Your not a sissie from what I read.
From what I heard sissies are masculine men who get dresses in way to extreme girly clothes. (like a pink frilly tu tu or something.) I think it does got something to do with the whole dom/sub scene.

[tricia_uktv]

Sissies in the UK are merely effeminate men. So I guess we qualify. As others say though there is no need to ram it down your throat.

[Charleen]

You think he might be having some doubts about himself? Hmmmm

[RADER]

It sounds like your neighbor is a jerk. Just think, they vote and reproduce.
scary thought is it not.

[TxKimberly]

Strictly speaking and going by the definition for the word, he's actually right.

sissy  /ˈsɪsi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sis-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -sies, adjective –noun
1. an effeminate boy or man.
2. a timid or cowardly person.
3. a little girl.

(From Dictionary.com)

OK, that was the devils advocate in me. Now for my opinion!
I've always thought of a sissy as being someone afraid or unwilling to do the hard or dirty work. That is not me. I find the idea of someone thinking that about me to be highly insulting.

[Nicole Erin]

Sometimes I hear dumb crap like that from neighbors, I just yell "Aww F*** you" and usually they shut up. That is just kind of my knee-jerk reaction

Some people like your neighbor are just kind of "Nyeehhhh" (said while I hit my chest with my wrist)

[Angie F]

So far I haven't been confronted by any of my neighbors for being who I am...but my SO and I were talking about it the other night and how I would handle it..... my responce was that I would simply say " I relize that I wear womans clothes, thats because I feel inside I am a woman, but what is your reason for keeping such a close eye on me and striking up this conversation?" and the I would turn and go back to what I was doing.:)

[LisaM]

I tend to agree with Angie. I have never considered myself a sissy---I have always considered myself a woman.

[Carroll]

make sure you have a video cam next time he confronts you. Tell him to kiss off. If he swings, kick his a$$ and than post the video on youtube with the title "Sissy kicks (insert name) a$$". Make sure that his friends are provided a link.

Of course I am just kidding. (but it sounds like fun!)

[stacy-marie hanna]

Sissy is a pejorative for a boy or man to indicate that he fails to behave according to the traditional male gender role.
also name for older female sibling
or in crossdressing/transgenger terms a male who dresses in an over effeminate style(like a little girl, maid etc)

simplified wiki definition

stacy-marie

[MichelleP]

Your boorish neighbor may well in fact be a disenchanted "f***in sissy" without the means or more likely the courage to truly express their own innerself and thus they remain unfulfilled and angst ridden. Next time you need to ask what's really bothering them:devil:

Michelle

[Frédérique]

He called me many names but the one that I remember most was a f-----in sissy.


Oh, dear – I seem to have offended that gentleman…


Odds are high he's hunting the net for naked pics of men.


Good one! Surfing for sissies, perhaps?


Sissies in the UK are merely effeminate men.


Yes, I suppose. I think ‘sissy” is an old-fashioned term – effeminacy is out of fashion these days. :sigh: I wouldn’t mind being called a sissy. I’ve been pushed through the male forming machine against my will, but I never completely became one of them (thankfully)…

[Cheshire Gummi]

I can understand how a homophobe would throw "Sissy!" at one of us, but there is a difference as far as I see. To me, sissies are the sadomasochistic version of what we are. While we seek to live out the role of another gender, they seek to be sexually emasculated.

I guess, if you want to boil it down to its base components, it really comes down to control. Girls like me want to control our gender and sexual identity. Sissies want theirs to be controlled by someone else or a fetishistic ideology.

It's just another, subversive form of BDSM. I regard it as a proclivity and not a lifestyle.

[LilSissyStevie]

I rather relish my sissyness and would have considered it a compliment. I would have offered him a flower.:love: I would never resort to fisticuffs. I could hurt him anytime I want, that's why I have a safe full of firearms, but I choose not to.

Oh, and Cheshire Gummi, here's a flower for you.:love::tongueout

[Rachel Morley]

I'm assuming the person who said this was a guy .... a regular guy who hates to see other guys doing anything he doesn't consider the sort of "guy-ish behavior" he would do :rolleyes:

I personally have no fear or bad feeling about being called a sissy (even to my face). In fact, I actually think of it as a compliment. To me a sissy is the term regular guys call a feminine man ... and that's what I am, and I'm proud of it! :D

[Jamie001]

I agree with Rachel. I am a Sissy and I am very proud of it. I have even thought of changing my name to "Sissy".



I'm assuming the person who said this was a guy .... a regular guy who hates to see other guys doing anything he doesn't consider the sort of "guy-ish behavior" he would do :rolleyes:

I personally have no fear or bad feeling about being called a sissy (even to my face). In fact, I actually think of it as a compliment. To me a sissy is the term regular guys call a feminine man ... and that's what I am, and I'm proud of it! :D

[Andy66]

It seems that sort of behavior is almost always caused by insecurity.


drushin703, your neighbor is a serious jerk. I think you should come up with a creative way of setting him straight.

Ooohhh... that sounds like fun.
:devil: :devil: :devil:

[Misty is Kindafem]

There is a sort of "sissy" scene that involves forced fem or bloomers or other various fetish stuff but that's not what I'm referring to when I proudly refer to myself as a sissy.

When I was young, clever, articulate and a bit too graceful boy growing up in a very rural back woods kind of environment, I got called a sissy at least once a week.

Fight? Oh yeah, I fought and got beat up quite a bit. You see, while I am admittedly quite headstrong, I'm not very physically strong so the average boy could over power me fairly easily. The truth is I've always hated to fight even if I was winning. I'm reasonably competitive but I have zero percent of that killer instinct guys like to talk about.

After many years of working out, rough sports and endless skirt chasing I finally decided to quit running from that little sissy that had such a hard time.

I am a feminine man.
I am a special kind of girl.
Call me a sissy
I'll wear your invective like a badge of honor.

-Misty

[sterling12]

Well, here's the really important question? He now has himself in a "lather," got to call you a bunch of names, and act like a "big man." Can you imagine that he will probably escalate? I don't think he's going to be happy with just calling you names.

I bet if you asked just about anyone, (including our thinking-challenged neighbor) to define a "f***in' Sissy, you wouldn't get two answers out of a thousand they were anywhere near the same. It's a nonsensical label, that anyone who has a brain bigger than a hamster's wouldn't enunciate.

BUT, you would be wise to now start "The Ball Rolling," and make a formal complaint at your Police Department. I think you have a real opportunity to make sure that he gets "talked to," that The local police get to "eyeball" him and know who he is, and that they try to make him understand that if he keeps on with this, there will be consequences.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Cheshire Gummi]

I rather relish my sissyness and would have considered it a compliment. I would have offered him a flower.:love: I would never resort to fisticuffs. I could hurt him anytime I want, that's why I have a safe full of firearms, but I choose not to.

Oh, and Cheshire Gummi, here's a flower for you.:love::tongueout

Are you insinuating I need to lighten up?

'Cause I'm pretty sure step one to sissihood is to never speak unless spoken to. It's not very proper to stick your tongue out at someone, either.

Bad girl. No cake. And relinquish your firearms. Sissies are not allowed protection from life. You're helpless, remember?

:naughty

[LilSissyStevie]

Are you insinuating I need to lighten up?

'Cause I'm pretty sure step one to sissihood is to never speak unless spoken to. It's not very proper to stick your tongue out at someone, either.

Bad girl. No cake. And relinquish your firearms. Sissies are not allowed protection from life. You're helpless, remember?

:naughty

Actually, all I'm saying is that you don't get define what a sissy is or make rules fo them. Sorry, I guess your just not man (or woman) enough.:love:

[Cheshire Gummi]

I understand you're offended by my initial statement, but I fail to see how I'm defining what a sissy is. I'm pretty sure the definition is pretty clear already.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sissy_%28transgender%29

You may not be one of the more extreme, but...

Well, when you say something like "I'm into bondage" people assume there are whips involved, not that you just handcuff yourself to the bed from time to time. "Sissy" culture may incorporate people who just crossdress and act rather girly, but its majority are people like that.

I didn't mean to offend you if I did, nor was I trying to define you. That's just what I know and think of it.

[Christina Horton]

I think your neighbor was born in a pig sty and raised by neanderthals (Sorry Geico guys). But that's just one intelligent person's opinion.

Some people are proud to be called sissies so to them it would have been a compliment. We are who we are.


Ok ok first I THINK you need to apologise to the Geico guys cuz you just slammed them and insulted them very badly hun. There good guy and don't want to be brought down to the neighbor level. There better than that , the neighbor is not.




Well, here's the really important question? He now has himself in a "lather," got to call you a bunch of names, and act like a "big man." Can you imagine that he will probably escalate? I don't think he's going to be happy with just calling you names.

I bet if you asked just about anyone, (including our thinking-challenged neighbor) to define a "f***in' Sissy, you wouldn't get two answers out of a thousand they were anywhere near the same. It's a nonsensical label, that anyone who has a brain bigger than a hamster's wouldn't enunciate.

BUT, you would be wise to now start "The Ball Rolling," and make a formal complaint at your Police Department. I think you have a real opportunity to make sure that he gets "talked to," that The local police get to "eyeball" him and know who he is, and that they try to make him understand that if he keeps on with this, there will be consequences.

Peace and Love, Joanie



Ya what she said. I was going to tell you to call the police and charge him with verbal assault. Then at least if he did try something in the future you know that the police have the report. Even if they only just talk to him it will be recorded as long as you insist and don't back down. Like If he vandalise you place car etc If you don't call now they might not believe you.
Plus if he does attack you and there is a report out on him If you fight back and really hurt him your covered eh!

Personally if some one did that to me I either would have set him straight or kicked his ass. I would not consider it a complement just in the way he said it. If some one said it as a joke I might but it would depend on how it was said. And if I did not beat him into the ground I would stand there and call the cops right in front of him and wait till they came. I think that would either shut him up or give me an excuse to trash him,:heehee: I know I know Not lady like , well that's the guy in me , Dam I thought I tamed him. :doh:

[Ballerina]

Omg.. what a jerk off.. If he don't like it, he can turn the other cheek and be a real American.

Ya, I may like to dress as a ballerina, but as far a wiki's term, and my knowledge of karate goes, I am no "sissy". Heaven forbid that a man should dress in female clothing and be subjected to the same disgusting stereo types that women see everyday.

And yes, I am referencing to the fact that he not only insulted the TG community, but also women. I don't even want to know what that Jack *** thinks of his own wife..

[Samantha Girl]

I'm sorry you had to deal with a moron like that drushin703 :(

I agree with Christina W, the way he said it was meant to be an insult. And if it was me I totally would've confronted him and if it came to it kicked his ignorant ass. My boots could do some serious damage! :heehee: And as someone said on the last page then he'd have to deal with getting his ass kicked by a sissy :p!

[Pattie O]

I think Sissy mostly is used as a bullying type term by males BUT I believe that sissy is sometimes used by females to belittle ie bully females as well as males and I think bullying is just showing someone's inadequacies in understanding and or ignorance so, just ignore it!

[Stephanie Stephens]

I am sorry you have a neighbor like that. Get someone to mail him a gay (not that there is anything wrong with it) magazine. Then call him a sissy.

[Emma England]

In the UK, the term sissy is never used.

So I have never understand what it truely means.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

As insults go "sissy" is about as feeble as you can get. Stick and stones may break my bones but "sissy" is going to cause about as much damage as a dust particle :lol2:

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Actually, all I'm saying is that you don't get define what a sissy is or make rules fo them. Sorry, I guess your just not man (or woman) enough.:love:

Really? No one is allowed to discuss an absolutely documented type of sexual fetish because it happens to share a name with a term you apply to yourself too?

Sometimes I am still amazed at how thinly skinned so many of us are.

As far as this guy is concerned, I doubt he knows there's a sub-culture of fetishists that crossdress as submissive misogynistic images of women, it is much more likely he's an ignorant old fool who just went to the easiest most base insult he could come up with to describe the image that frightened him because it was different.

[tanya1976]

going to my car the other nitght, my neighbor who had seen me dressed as
a woman befor, decided to confront me.He called me many names but the one
that I remember most was a f-----in sissy.Now I will put on my pink frills with
the best of them but I have never considered myself as a sissy.I always con-
sidered sisies to be someone else....what do you ladies think. dana.

I quite like being called a crossdressing sissy (!) but context is everything. This guy sounds like an idiot.

[Patricia1]

What a sad, angry little man your neighbor must be!

[TGMarla]

Look, he said it because he's a confrontational ignoramus. He said it to provoke a response, and he's your run-of-the-mill average moron. He, like most people, doesn't want anything out of the norm waltzing around in his world. His reference to you as a "sissy" came out because that's the first word that came to his small mind when he thought about a guy dressed as a woman. So pondering the absolute definition of "sissy" is not relevant here.

I wouldn't put up with it from him. What does he think? That just because you wear a skirt, that you're some shrinking violet who cowers at anyone who says anything to him? He's the one causing the problem. I wouldn't confront him while wearing heels, but I'd definitely let him know that his comments are not welcome, and not acceptable. He's no better than you, and you have a right to be wherever you are, especially your own home. No one will ever tell me how to act in my own home. I don't give a damn if I'm mowing the lawn in a bikini. It's my life and my house. If he were my neighbor, I'd tell him to deal with it, and shut up. His ignorance is showing.

[marisa]

sorry to hear about the meat head that lives next to you. if he try's to insult you again just tell him what i tell my sister when she catch's me picking my nose. don't like it, don't look. works for me. i might concider putting a heel some place tender to. i could use new shoes.lol. i would sujest not getting physical with him. cause s#!t splatters when you hit it, and you don't want that on your clothes.

[sherri]

In the minds of people like your neighbor, they don't give a rip about the definitions, terminology or distinctions that we make within the CD community. He used "sissy" as an insult, expressing the kneejerk loathing and hate some people feel toward us based on a self-righteous conviction that we are perverts deserving their condemnation -- and possibly their retribution. He doesn't like having a perv in his neighborhood and and probably feels a primordial need to defend his family and territory, to rid it of this pestilence. The fact that he was willing to confront you in such a manner tells me he isn't frightened by the prospect of an escalated altercation -- in fact, he would probably relish it.

The sad thing is there's probably not a lot you can do to change this guy's attitude, especially now that he's taken a stand. I do know that responding to his verbal attack by initiating physical violence would be a big mistake, almost sure to land you in hot water that could have far-reaching consequences. For that matter, responding in kind verbally isn't going to solve anything either, and may make the situation worse.

As some have suggested, you could file a complaint with the police, and if they're willing to follow the letter of the law that might chill the situation somewhat -- put him on notice, so to speak. And yes, that would put him on their radar, but it also puts you on their radar and if the truth be known, their private sympathies (along with those of the rest of your neighbors) would probably lie more with him than with you. Not that that should matter, but I'm just saying.

There's another thread going on right now about CDing and neighbors that should take note of your experience with this guy. To my way of thinking, about the best you can do under these circumstances is to try to defuse the situation as best you can by being a bigger person than this jerk, which means demonstrating to him that you are a person of quiet conviction and courage unwilling to be shamed by him, and doing so without lowering yourself to his level or letting him bring out the worst in you.

Also, I might make this observation/suggestion: personally, I fully support your decision to be more open about your gender orientation and expression, and I respect your courage. But based on the current realities of the world around us, if you wish to live your daily life more openly, it might be prudent to consider relocating to a neighborhood / cultural environment that would be more tolerant. Sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor.

[Ralph]

His reference to you as a "sissy" came out because that's the first word that came to his small mind when he thought about a guy dressed as a woman. So pondering the absolute definition of "sissy" is not relevant here.

Hey, who asked you to bring common sense to the table?

Totally agree, of course. My only surprise is that he trotted out a last-century epithet instead of the default US term for insufficiently barbaric men - "faggot". Most guys of his caliber, that's the only insult they know. (note to our friends across the pond - yes, for some reason men perceived as homosexual are called cigarettes around here. I have no idea why.)

[KarenCDFL]

Sounds like your neighbor is a real closet case.

I wonder what his big secret is and him being demeaning to you is a way to make himself feel better about himself.

It is times like this that makes you think that being stupid and ignorant should be a terminal disease.

[Gerard]

Sissies in the UK are merely effeminate men. So I guess we qualify. As others say though there is no need to ram it down your throat.
That's what I thought. Does sissy have other meanings in the USA?

[silkenhose]

it is really to bad that you had to go through this. sounds like a clossed mined ahole.

as it relates to being a sissy i think there are several layers to the term sissy. i consider myself a sissy as i am dominated by a GG, love to be dressed up in pretty things, however not neccessarily frilly. somepeople consider that to be a sissy's one must be dressed in frills and act like a little girl.

either way isn't dressing FUN!!!!!!!!!

silken

[tricia_uktv]

Come on girls (sissies), it goes with the territory. Be it race, gender or creed there will be some people who can't accept it. We can because we are stronger than them. We have proved it. It is not our problem what we are called - it is theirs. We are and hopefully will live fruitful and interesting lives - I know I am. They won't because they are clouded by prejadice. I get considerably more encouraging comments than destructive ones. So lets go out there, be confident, be ourselves but above all be aware of what we are portraying and how that affects them.

Whisper it, but many people are frightened of us, merely because they don't understand us.

But then again I suppose, do we?

Have fun - we're only here once.

[LilSissyStevie]

It seems that for some folks the problem is not that the person in the OP used "sissy" as an epithet, but that he was mistaken about it. They ain't no stinkin' sissies! {spits tobakker} They actually share his contempt for those pathetic weirdos and are offended to be called one. It's like when "they" ignorantly associate crossdressing with homosexuality. Imagine being accused of something so abominable! The solution then is to approach the fellow and explain that you're really just a regular guy who likes to dress up as a girl sometimes. {hums the lumberjack song} But, underneath the skirt, you're all man. {scratches the boys} Maybe then you could get together on the weekend, drink a couple of six-packs, go downtown and slap some real sissies around. LOL

From where I stand, I don't see a whole lot of difference between the sissyphobe in the OP, the hypocritical sissyphobes here that whine for tolerance and understanding for themselves, and the homophobes that felt a need to gay bait the sissyphobe in the OP. But please don't overestimate the amount of offence I take personally since whatever offence I do take is tempered by already low expectations.

[heatherdress]

Sorry that it happend and your neighbor is a jerk. Does it really bother you what he said? Who cares what he says or thinks. Screw him. Ignore him, avoid him - like any other obnoxious neighbor.

[sherri]

Now, there I disagree. There are many occasions when I've been taunted in the street. (The standard taunt in France, by the way, is "How much for a blow-job?") My response is always to try responding by talking to the guy reasonably and it almost always works.

Why? Because loudmouths like this, as everybody above seems to agree, are talking without thinking. It's almost a conditioned reflex with them. They expect you to come back with an equally conditioned reflex - fight or flight. So as any Judo wrestler can tell you, the secret is to take them off-balance by doing the unexpected, by responding as if they've made a reasoned comment. This, I find from experience, makes them suddenly sober up and apologise, or even enter into a sensible conversation where they actually learn something.

I wonder why so many of us allow our actions to be dictated by yobs...?IMO, there is a substantial difference, on several levels, between a passing taunt on the street and the confrontation described in this thread! To name just one issue in play here, this neighbor has some deep-seated insecurities and hostilities that would be very difficult to dislodge. If I were betting on the outcome of this scenario, I would wager that an appeal to reason and compassion would fall on deaf ears, and might even escalate the situation. I'm not saying that this particular situation is absolutely hopeless, but I am saying that the first order of business is to defuse the hostility as much as possible without being reduced to a simpering wimp by a bully.

As for street taunts, I'll take your word for your own experiences, but maintain that here in the U.S., for every scenario you might point to as a potential victory (however small), I can conjure one with the potential to be a disaster. For example, I've been going out for more than eight years now without a single negative experience of any consequence -- until a couple of months ago. Now I have two encounters under my belt that ultimately amounted to no more than verbal harassment, but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that had I handled them differently -- in other words, if I had chosen to be confrontational or chastising -- physical violence would have erupted. Considering who I was dealing with, it wasn't worth the risk because I know those particular neanderthals are beyond redemption. Even if I had won a fight with them -- which I wouldn't, cuz I'm not tough (in fact, I'm a sissy) -- nothing would be proven or gained; it would probably just make them be more brutal with their next victim.

If I allowed these episodes to make me paranoid, or if I let an abusive neighbor force me back in the closet quaking with fear, then perhaps it could be said that my life was being dictated by yobs. But that's not going to happen (a fact that would probably cause the yobs to shake their heads and say, "See, you just can't reason with a pervert.") Nevertheless, there are certain facts of life that have to (or should) be accommodated unless one has absolutely nothing to lose -- and let's face it, most of us do have something to lose or otherwise many of us would be full-time TGs instead of part-time crossdressers.

Let me get to the main point I want to make by saying that I agree with you in principle and, up to a point, in practice -- CDs and other TGs face a lot of cultural prejudice and nothing's gonna change until enough of us are willing to crusade for the cause by putting our rights and beliefs into action. But -- and this is a big but -- most of us have to balance the cause with our own personal circumstances. In other words, we have to choose our battles. Tilting at windmills and engaging in skirmishes that can't be won don't accomplish anything; they can in fact have a negative net effect. To my way of thinking, a good starting point to striking the right balance is to not foul one's own nest, because in order to have the strength and courage to carry on we have to have a safe haven where we can recharge and maintain the balance necessary to sustain responsible lives. And at the end of the day, it might just be that it is our responsible lives that serve as the most effective proof to the world that we deserve their tolerance and respect.

**********

PS -- by the way, I'm curious, what is it exactly that you say in reply to someone on the street pricing a blow job? I think my answer might be something like, "An engagement ring, sugar. And of course we're going to have redecorate your apartment if I'm going to live there."

[Stephanie Heplby]

Stacy-Marie hits the nail on the head (i.e., gets the point correct) in her paraphrasing of the wiki definition of "sissy":


Sissy is a pejorative for a boy or man to indicate that he fails to behave according to the traditional male gender role.
also name for older female sibling
or in crossdressing/transgenger terms a male who dresses in an over effeminate style(like a little girl, maid etc)

Think this through people, the man who addressed Dana intended to give offense and the most likely interpretation of his behavior has nothing to do with sub-genres of crossdressing.

He likely cares very little about whether some men like to be maids, instead reacting to both his fear of emasculation by association with effeminate males and his deep seated misogyny. There are a great many social science studies linking homophobia to misogyny and it makes perfect sense. (Do some digging, you might be surprised at what you find.)

Remember, whatever label you give yourself, crossdressers "transgress" established gender norms in most societies (particularly rural parts of "modern" western societies). This is one reason why the notion of "transgender" as a broad label (covering crossdressing, transexuals, etc) is so compelling because it has the literary implication of "transgression".

Many men (in the U.S. anyway) feel that a man who transgresses his accepted gender roles is a threat to other men in a very personal way.

While I realize that much of the invective on this thread was written either as black humor (which I enjoy) or as catharsis, I must urge you not to respond to this idiot with any kind of violence. This solves nothing and may get you killed.

I am not being reactionary, I am being sensible. If you confront him, you make the threat real and you may find yourself severely beaten, or worse.

Engage people like this very cautiously. Violence against trans people is a huge problem and not to be taken lightly.

[Stephanie Heplby]

On any number of levels, Sherri's analysis is brilliant and right on the mark. Let me point out some of my favorite bits:


IMO, there is a substantial difference, on several levels, between a passing taunt on the street and the confrontation described in this thread!

Amen. Importantly, these two people know each other and are forced to be in close proximity repeatedly (given that that live in close proximity). This is on a completely different playing field than a casual jab, however much that might hurt.


As for street taunts, I'll take your word for your own experiences, but maintain that here in the U.S., for every scenario you might point to as a potential victory (however small), I can conjure one with the potential to be a disaster.

Again, this is right on. Each situation needs to be assessed based on experience and intuition. No instantaneous gut reactions. Those tend to be very wrong unless your gut reactions come as the result of a lifetime of training to be a zen master.


... CDs and other TGs face a lot of cultural prejudice and nothing's gonna change until enough of us are willing to crusade for the cause by putting our rights and beliefs into action. But -- and this is a big but -- most of us have to balance the cause with our own personal circumstances.

Again the choir sings amen.

But my all-time favorite had to be this response to the blow job taunt:


"An engagement ring, sugar. And of course we're going to have redecorate your apartment if I'm going to live there."

I actually laughed hard at that. Just fantastic.

[billie earls]

If this jerk was calling you or anyone else a sissy because you were brave enough to do something against the norm then he doesn't know just how much guts it takes to do it. I myself accept the term of sissy and it doesn't bother me, but I'm in the closet and don't have the nerve to come out. Those of you who are out you have my admiration and support. I learned a long time ago that whenever someone puts another down be it race, religion or sexual behavior I speak up and let them know that I do not agree with them. I believe that its the best way to combat this type of ignorance.

[drushin703]

thanks all for the intellegent replys.but never forget, the biggest fear of
being a child and trying on moms girdle is being caught.The greatest fear of
being an adult and being so compelled to leave the house dressed as a women
(and not just in womens cloths) is the redicule.Being found out or outed is
what chops the heads off of picture profiles,it makes us hide our cloths even
in homes where we live alone,it makes us drive around going nowhere at night,it causes us to lie about panty, girdle, lipstic, poise and dress purchases
to salesladies that we dont even know.redicule forces us even further into
a closet where fantasy and roleplay take over for every day life.I read all
the great stories of liberation, of walking with your head high, of confidence.
but redicule from even the smallest of minds can be crippling.

the hell with my neighbor or of any one of intollerence.forget their names.
judgeing by the responses, redicule of any kind against us strikes a nerve. I guess I am
a sissie.......and ime having one hell of a good time being one.dana.

[Kiera]

:sh:

Sissy or not I do not think it matters. If we are.. ok.. If not just more of the same. The name that he called you really has no meaning other than a show of his fear and misunderstanding.

I am certain it has more to do with his own insecurities than about you or any one of us here.

I know it is not easy being the focus of someones ignorance, but I hope you take it for what it is and learn from it rather than let it bother you.

Please use caution and reason in your future dealings with him and any others you may encounter like him.

While I believe that we all are in agreement that you should not take his comments seriously, fear and misunderstanding of any nature us can manifest itself into violence and very dangerous situations.

So anyway.... I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope you use the above average intelligence that most of us, "sissies" were graced with, and be yourself while also paying attention to your surroundings.

Hugs,
Kiera

[Michelia]

http://www.sissyschool.com/whatisasissy.html

See above link for the many definitions of a sissy by sissy experts. It seems that we qualify under most definitions.

I kind of agree with TxKimberly but then what about sissy maids. If a good maid is to clean a house well - that is hard work!

I do not define myself as a sissy, but if someone calls me that my feellings are not hurt. A lot of sissies are sweet creatures. I can think of a lot of worse things to be called. Then again, one needs to develop a thick skin if we want to go out dressed and be ready to be called whatever and blow it off.

Sissy as a term also applies to girls that are very girly. I know an old lady that calls her 20 year old grandaughter a sissy as a compliment.

I think you should ignore your neighbor and not have anything to do with him. And if he gets out of hand, call the police on him so they have him on file for abusive behavior.

[Lacy PJs]

The term does kind of turn me off as well. But when you go against what are generally accepted as social norms, you may find yourself on the outside looking in.

I don't like to shop for Ebay items that are advertised/listed for "Sissies" either.

Lacy PJs

[MsJanessa]

your problem is that you don't dress in black leather and carry a whip-lol---try it and I guarantee your neighbor won't be calling you a sissy---in fact you can borrow mine if you like

[Cheshire Gummi]

From where I stand, I don't see a whole lot of difference between the sissyphobe in the OP, the hypocritical sissyphobes here that whine for tolerance and understanding for themselves, and the homophobes that felt a need to gay bait the sissyphobe in the OP. But please don't overestimate the amount of offence I take personally since whatever offence I do take is tempered by already low expectations.

Alright, I hate to drag up arguments here, but... sissyphobe?

Sissyphobe!?

Do you really think you're so special and so persecuted just because of how you've chosen to label yourself? Is that it? It's so much harder for YOU because you choose to call yourself a "Sissy"; a title that happens to correlate with a subculture you seem to not want to be associated with and yet seem to defend?

Please, explain your angst, regardless of how minimal it may be. I know, personally, I don't lower my expectations of people unless they consistently disappoint me. Is that what you feel has happened here? Do you feel you've been marginalized or disappointed? If so, why?

I truly, truly fail to see why you carry such an attitude with people who are just trying to find fellowship with you or why you'd behave like this beyond the age of 13. Just because I don't share your fetishism or your definitions thereof doesn't mean I want to antagonize and polarize you. Frankly, it just seems to me like you're lashing out.

Otherwise you wouldn't have accused people who you've never personally encountered of "Sissyphobia," a condition I'm fairly certain is entirely fabricated.

[silkyness]

Yeah that's horrible :(

I'd feel really bad if somebody said that to me. I'd probably stop dressing for a few days or swear back with rude remarks :D

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Alright, I hate to drag up arguments here, but...

Honestly I'm glad you did because I missed Steve's little tirade the first time and I want to call BS on it. You know what? I PROUDLY state that I do not want to be associated with people who partake in the sissy fetish. In my time perusing the internet trying to figure out my identity as who I am as a crossdresser, I have occasionally found myself on a few sissification or forced feminization sites, and they have always left me a little bothered. I find the entire concept of being into being treated like a sissy to be degrading to both women and crossdressers at the same time.

The very concept that behaving in such a way is the way to be "treated like a woman" comes from such an ugly, misogynistic place and I absolutely do not want someone to ever think that I would share any such thoughts vis a vi my own crossdressing, so I am more than happy to throw up my hands and make it clear that this is not a practice I condone or would ever participate in.

To me, Sissification is the male to female equivalent of white people wearing blackface and doing minstrel shows. It is horribly offensive to me and it gives all of us a bad name. Sorry if that makes me a hypocrite or intolerant in some way in your eyes, but I am not soon to change my position on such a thing.

As far as the OP example, and Steve's half-assed attempt to compare it to not wanting to be associated with homosexuality, in a "oh at least I'm not one of them," aspect, I honestly have never cared if anyone thought I was gay, except for women I want to date, and then I definitely want them to know I'm straight. Having said that, as much as I don't care if people think I'm gay, it doesn't mean I'm ok with people calling me a F****t in a derogatory manner, and I don't think that makes me inherently homophobic.

[Misty is Kindafem]

Look girls, a lot of you seem to be really hung up on the sissy fetish or culture or whatever. Personally, I'm so vanilla that I wouldn't consider myself a fetishist of any sort. Of course the straight world would likely disagree after seeing a few of my pics but still, as queers go (yes I said queer) I'm pretty damn boring.

I've mentioned a few times that I'm proud to be a sissy and it has nothing to do with any websites that you may or may not have seen. I have simply reclaimed the word that was hurled at me more times than I can count. Keep in mind that few things are as horrifying to a young boy as being called a sissy by a group of "tougher" boys.

Why would they call me such a thing? Why not? I was different. I was quiet and sensitive. I was a sissy.

An effeminate boy.

I was scarred by the taunts, and for years I tried to prove how manly I was. I battered my body in sports and activities that I wasn't physically suited for. I was running from the girl inside me. ...The girl was faster.

When I finally admitted to myself that I was something other than a man, I proudly accepted the brand those boys burned into me. They called me a sissy because I was different. Not because of what I was wearing and certainly not because of anything they found on the yet to be invented internet.

The sissification sites are definitely pandering to a very specific clientele but long before those sites existed, femmy boys were being called a sissy and like it or not, those experiences get imprinted on us.

Frankly, I care nothing or less about any attempt to redefine the term or me. My story is real, not fantasy and the pain of growing up different does not go away just because other groups adopt the epithet.

You don't like it? Whatever.

It should also be noted that all of you girls are in grave danger of being thought of, or (gasp) called a sissy by most every guy in the straight world. Oh, I know many of you are so macho and straight, breaking arms and putting your boots in rectums and whatnot, but no matter how you feel about it, a guy in a dress and makeup is nothing but a sissy out there.

I can almost hear your argument;
"Oh no, I'm not a sissy, that's a subset of a crossdressing fetish and I'm just a regular crossdresser who loves to wear panties and bras. I'm just like you man, except I want to express my feminine side."

Me thinks thou protests too much.

-Misty

[karennjcd]

As others have said, I believe it's all in how the term is used in context. Calling somebody a name because you don't agree with how they dress, act, or even their race, creed, preferences, etc. is just plain childish. But if you've been looking at the various CD sites, there are clothes sold as "sissy clothes". Nothing wrong or derogatory about that. CD's come in all shapes and sizes, and likewise we can choose to be whomever we want when we dress up. In that vain, we may not dress as somebody our own age, but rather somebody younger. Well younger girls when dressed up tend to wear dresses with large flair, most likely the result of a petitcoat underneath. Some like to dress as maids in the same way. So we should not hate the term "sissy" as that is exactly what we might be trying to portray when we dress up.

Karen

[Mirani]

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"

Taught that as a child. Yes, I know it is simplistic and that IF WE LET IT we can be hurt inside.

My mum was wise. She said that insults say more about the person making them than the person aimed at.

I ignore verbal abuse. I wont feed the animal by showing any response. IMO it is a mistake to engage at all. And offering violence as a solution is not the answer - it takes it up a level and who knows where it will end?

Have I ever been upset by a remark? Yes. BUT ... I talk to myself and remind myself that it is NOT me with the problem.

In your situation, if it continues, report him for harassment. In the UK it is an "aggravated offence" if it is motivated by a "Hate Crime" (race/gender/religion etc).
"Illegitimis non Carborundum "

[Samantha Kelsey]

Get hold of his email and post it to us then we can all write to him about sissies. Maybe we could send him pics as well!
Just joking Mods.

[Heather65]

The desert is a big, lonely place

[Paula W]

I like the sound of brick in purse personally.

[JennyS.]

Never considered myself as a 'sissy'. 2nd Dan Black Belt, former state Amature Kickboxing Champion, studied MA under some of the best in the world. But, if my desire to wear a dress and bra makes me a sissy... So what.
Is that any business of yours?

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Look girls, a lot of you seem to be really hung up on the sissy fetish or culture or whatever. Personally, I'm so vanilla that I wouldn't consider myself a fetishist of any sort. Of course the straight world would likely disagree after seeing a few of my pics but still, as queers go (yes I said queer) I'm pretty damn boring.

I left this whole quote in for a reason, which I'll address later. There's two different things being discussed here in this thread and I think you're blending them into one thing. It's confusing because they're both using the same term, sissy. If it makes you feel better, try imagining one as "sissy" and the other as "Sissy."

The OP was in regards to a neighbor calling someone a sissy simply as a pejorative to mean effeminate man, and clearly not implying the sub culture. ("Sissy")


I've mentioned a few times that I'm proud to be a sissy and it has nothing to do with any websites that you may or may not have seen.

While I don't understand the "may not," (are you implying we're making it up?) this is the meat of the argument here.

The reason I left in your whole quote from the beginning is because you made a point of emphasizing that you self identified with the word "queer." This is a very important point of the discussion because it shows that you are proudly using a word originally intended for derogatory purposes and making it a badge of honor. I absolutely support your decision to do that with both queer and sissy. It's not something I prefer to do myself, but it is an entirely personal decision. In regards to the original post, it was an ignorant old man making a slur in regards to an effeminate man, and it's just something we will all have to deal with occasionally.

But then the thread split off in a different direction,

My last post was directly in response to the post that LilSissySteve posted in which he said:


From where I stand, I don't see a whole lot of difference between the sissyphobe in the OP, the hypocritical sissyphobes here that whine for tolerance and understanding for themselves, and the homophobes that felt a need to gay bait the sissyphobe in the OP.

Tolerance doesn't mean being absolutely open minded to every possible thing without putting any thought or ration behind it whatsoever. I'm sorry, but I'm not on board with tolerating any lifestyle that actively degrades women as a whole, and for that matter, crossdressers as a whole. So if that makes me a "Sissyphobe" then so be it.



I can almost hear your argument;
"Oh no, I'm not a sissy, that's a subset of a crossdressing fetish and I'm just a regular crossdresser who loves to wear panties and bras. I'm just like you man, except I want to express my feminine side."

Two can play that game though:

"Oh, sir, indeed I am a sissy, because I was called it often in my childhood by boys with a similar mindset to yours, and thus I now wear it proudly as a badge of honor! So thank you, good sir, for noticing the sissy that I am. "

Let's be fair here, BOTH are silly arguments to put forward towards another person, especially one who is clearly ignorant enough to yell "f***ing sissy!" at one of his own neighbors, and I don't think anyone is implying that this would be the course of action.

However, I don't think there is anything wrong with someone being in a situation where they were called a sissy, didn't like it and coming to a message board where the topic of discussion is male to female crossdressing and saying "hey, I didn't like this" and someone else saying "me either, and here's why I don't like to be associated with that particular term."

[Karen Born]

It's unfortunate that a closeminded individual had to express his thoughts in a manner that is hateful and demeaning. Besides, who gives a rat's a$$ what he thinks.

Frankly, I would do what I do normally (due to some hearing loss) and ask him to repeat himself over and over and over. Eventually he'll either give up (which is usually the case) or move closer to continue to verbally assault you. If he makes a threatening move towards you remind him that he is tresspassing and warn him any further incidents will be reported to the police.

If he wishes to become physical you have another problem entirely and the authorities should become involved.

[Misty is Kindafem]

Okay I'm finished with this one.

I'm obviously unable to get my point across and I apologize to all of you perfectly straight and macho ladies for my apparently offensive position on what the world thinks of boys in dresses.

Consider this;

The average Nascar fan would consider every genetic male on this site a bunch of sissies. I can't believe anyone would disagree with that. This is what happens when semantic nonsense overtakes honest discourse.

By the way, there were no sissification web sites when I was in junior high. Is it at all possible that my definition was first?
I'm quite certain that those jerks weren't calling me names because I was wearing a petticoat and a ball gag.

Okay, flame on with the vaguely threatening and entirely male attitudes.


-Misty

[5150 Girl]

Well,,, I almost always have a vehicale of some kind taken apart in my drivway. I have a mucle car, a pickup truck, and a fish'n boat. Most of my neighbors are yuppies. I think I could do just about anything, and my neighbors would be afraid to say anything about it for fear the keeper of the Ford 302 would give them a 14 in cresent wrench upside the head!