Mood Swings/Gender Swings

[nicky22]

Still pretty new at this and for the past month since my Bf has been dressing - frequently - with me it's been loads of fun and we've really been enjoying each other on a whole new level.


But...for the past few days he's been very unhappy and uncomfortable and edgy when dressed and exhibiting super masculine behavior when not dressed. When he dressed last night everything about him changed from happy guy to completely distressed, uncomfortable girl. He's moody and crying when in girl mode and extra assertive in guy mode. I don't know how to handle it. He won't talk about it and says he doesn't know what's going on. I think he's so repressed and in denial that he really doesn't know.

I read in another thread something about how difficult it is to process all of the different emotions sometimes if you're suddenly given too much freedom. Is this true? What do I do about it if he won't talk to me? The only thing of an substance that he's said is that it's hard to do this in front of another person. But for the past month he's been...seemingly...more than completely fine and extra enthusiastic dressing in front of me. Is this normal? What can I do to help? Could it be possible that the excitement level from being totally in the closet is gone and it's a different thing now?

Thanks...this is all so confusing...Nicky

[Joanne f]

It is difficult to know what is going on unless you know the person, but to me it almost sounds like something has happened that has really upset your bf emotionally, let your bf settle down a bit and then try to get him to talk to you a bout it .

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Perhaps you've both gone too far too fast? Or perhaps he's worried that it's too good to be true and that it'll all come crashing down around him? Whatever the reason, I'm convinced that getting him out to a support/social group would benefit him greatly and so benefit your relationship.

[Ashley_in_Texas]

Or perhaps he's worried that it's too good to be true and that it'll all come crashing down around him? Whatever the reason, I'm convinced that getting him out to a support/social group would benefit him greatly and so benefit your relationship.

I agree completely. I had the same worries.

[Olivia]

This happens to me: I will be feeling good about myself. Life is good; then, maybe I'm at a mall or at a wedding, full of stylish women, going about their normal day. It hits me. I won't ever 'look' like they do, I can't 'look' like they do. Mood now plummets. I call it "the Gender Blues". I love the blues, music that is. The Gender Blues sucks though.:sad:
Olivia

[Myojine]

Still pretty new at this and for the past month since my Bf has been dressing - frequently - with me it's been loads of fun and we've really been enjoying each other on a whole new level.


But...for the past few days he's been very unhappy and uncomfortable and edgy when dressed and exhibiting super masculine behavior when not dressed. When he dressed last night everything about him changed from happy guy to completely distressed, uncomfortable girl. He's moody and crying when in girl mode and extra assertive in guy mode. I don't know how to handle it. He won't talk about it and says he doesn't know what's going on. I think he's so repressed and in denial that he really doesn't know.

I read in another thread something about how difficult it is to process all of the different emotions sometimes if you're suddenly given too much freedom. Is this true? What do I do about it if he won't talk to me? The only thing of an substance that he's said is that it's hard to do this in front of another person. But for the past month he's been...seemingly...more than completely fine and extra enthusiastic dressing in front of me. Is this normal? What can I do to help? Could it be possible that the excitement level from being totally in the closet is gone and it's a different thing now?

Thanks...this is all so confusing...Nicky

When i try to "man up" i become an inccesent asshole a,nd jerk but when i act my self(my girl)im a really obnoxious, confused, and video game obssessed girl. ive had guys that who hung around me as a girl tell me that i like video games more then dating them,"Its all you talk about"

but as i guy omg no one likes me when i turn into a dick headed prick.
but thats about to end for me because im no longer gonna be a guy.
permanent girl from now on.

[Tina B.]

"Hard to do in front of another person" Sounds like the new freedom has turned back into the old guilt, it comes with a life time of hiding. About all I can see that you might do is be supportive, remind him that it's not a bad thing, and you love him as he is, when he is not being a macho as---le. The rest has more to do with him than you. He is lucky to have a woman as understanding as you have been. I hope he learns that before messing up the relationship.
Tina

[Sophie_Serendipity]

This happens to me: I will be feeling good about myself. Life is good; then, maybe I'm at a mall or at a wedding, full of stylish women, going about their normal day. It hits me. I won't ever 'look' like they do, I can't 'look' like they do. Mood now plummets. I call it "the Gender Blues". I love the blues, music that is. The Gender Blues sucks though.:sad:
Olivia

I really 'get' this whole thread. I too feel that crashing feeling when I realise no matter how much time or effort I put into this, I'll never be able to go back and get reborn genetically female. I have also experienced this mood swing thing of 'should I really do this?', 'is this more serious than just a bit of expression of the alternative parts of my identity?'

I guess my message is, Nicky, your partner is not alone in feeling this way. You sound like a great partner yourself though, so hang in there and just keep loving the way you do.

...and Olivia, I hear you.

Take care everyone.
Sophie.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Perhaps you've both gone too far too fast? Or perhaps he's worried that it's too good to be true and that it'll all come crashing down around him? Whatever the reason, I'm convinced that getting him out to a support/social group would benefit him greatly and so benefit your relationship.

I 100% agree! Get to a local support group.:hugs:

[SherriePall]

Sounds to me when dressed, your BF realizes that it is only temporary -- no matter how often or for how long -- and depression sets in. When he's drab, then he is super assertive because he knows that he is male and that is how he feels he should act to compensate for his femme feelings.
That's my take on this situation.

[Lainie]

CDing gets easier, more comfortable, as we gain experience. But to some it feels like an addiction--we may feel we need it and need to push the boundaries as well. That can be really scary for a person who isn't ready to give up being a guy.

So talk to her, and to him. Remember that the genetic masculine brain is not as well connected between emotion and speech centers as a GG's, so it may be harder for the brain to get the message out than you might expect. Hence, Patience.