What Does It Mean to "Be a Woman?"

[Holly]

Several threads recently have been talking about the various ways we believe and behave as it relates to "being a woman." One current thread proposes that childbirth is the "ultimate expression " of a woman. Another poster says buying woman's clothing is not good enough and the clothing they wear has to have been worn by a woman before she feels feminine. Still others have propositioned in the past that having breasts or other "native female body parts" in and of itself makes one womanly. None of these activities hit the mark for me. I dare say GG's who are unable to conceive would be offended by the thought that they are any less womanly than any other GG. I am also quite certain not a single GG would say she doesn't feel feminine unless another GG has worn her clothing before her.

So what is it really "to be a woman?" What does it actually take? What would one who is not born that way have to do to achieve the goal of womanhood? Or is it just some hopeless, non-achievable objective for some, a dream to never be realized?

**Edited to add**

GG's, your input to this question is more than encouraged. :D

[Tanya.Rebekah]

Hi sis Holly! ~

In my opinion, it depends. Because for me (am speaking on my behalf), the ultimate expression of being a woman is simply to be appreciated as being one. I have a wife who somewhat supports my CDing.. When she considers and look at me as a girl, I feel that I am really a woman. She usually calls me with my girl name, and it really gives me the feeling that I am also a girl. I guess it has something to do with mindset. But for me, that how it goes. She respects my feminine side. I guess respecting women as women would be the ultimate expression of being a woman.

Mwaaah ~

[kellycan27]

Clothes and such ...boobs,body,long hair,make-up are more or less cosmetic.It's what is in my heart and soul that does it for me. I am transsexual,and proud of the fact, and proud of what I have accomplished in my goal to be as womanly as possible. I can never be, and have no illusions of being a real woman, but I am happy with the life I have chosen to pursue.
And for the record..... the cosmetic stuff is a big help.:heehee:
:hugs:
Kelly

[Tanya83]

I have no idea but the constant effort of trying to feel like one is such a pleasure! :D

[docrobbysherry]

I date, and have married GGs. To me, they're like a different species!:eek:

I'm very interested in the answers here! And, I would like to hear YOUR definition, too, Holly!:)

[danielle_from_cal]

The whole idea of "feeling like a woman" or "being a woman", to me, means feeling comfortable looking like I want to look and behaving as feels natural. I have not illusions about "being female"; I know I am not female. I just love feeling like something inside me tells me is "correct".

[pattyv]

Clothes and such ...boobs,body,long hair,make-up are more or less cosmetic.It's what is in my heart and soul that does it for me. I am transsexual,and proud of the fact, and proud of what I have accomplished in my goal to be as womanly as possible. I can never be, and have no illusions of being a real woman, but I am happy with the life I have chosen to pursue.
And for the record..... the cosmetic stuff is a big help.:heehee:
:hugs:
Kelly

Kelly-well spoken,well considered.Coming from a girl like you I concur wholeheartedly.

[Sherlyn]

Mmmm Holly that's such a tough one...I don't have answer .. just because I am not a Woman ..on the other side what would you say to the question..What Does it Mean to Be a Man..you could list all your macho doings.. but yet does it really mean anything..Better yet ..If you just want to Be Yourself..I can answer that...that just means your happy... :)

[Jenniferpl]

My wife seems to enjoy the effect of my cross dressing. I have asked her several times what see gets out it and she has never been able to really express. it. She has told me that I do think like a woman. Therefore, I have no idea what it takes. I just know that it is a lot fun trying to be one. They are unquie and it would be boring without them. They make the world a better place.

[Holly]

...I would like to hear YOUR definition, too, Holly!:)I will be more than happy to post my thoughts in a day or two (or three :D... )

[Ronni Seymour]

Holly, that is what I have been turning over in my soul, heart and mind for some time now. In dressing as Carol, I try to enter into the female experience. But I always have that big question in my face, "And just what is that experience?" The act of dressing and personifying Carol doesn't get me any closer to it. But I still enjoy it never the less.

[Tamara Croft]

One current thread proposes that childbirth is the "ultimate expression " of a woman.Well that shows ignorance imho. I'm pretty sure most women do not feel very feminine trying to push out a baby, with all n sundry out for everyone to see, the hours of pain, the hours of pain afterwards. IMHO, that is just pure fantasy and those who think that childbirth is the 'ultimate expression' of a woman, don't really have a clue at all.

[Penelope Marie]

what is is to be a woman, Well, for me, being a woman is not about a dress, breast or any other thing one can actually see. i had a girlfriend who lost her breast to cancer yet, she was 100% percent woman, sadly shes gone now and i miss her still after 15 months. a woman is soft, not only in her skin but in her affection and compassion for others, she is gentle and graceful, she is considerate of others. Though she Will not be bullied or pushed about. in my flesh i am male Sadly, however ,with in my soul and my spirit it i feel i am female or woman. my make up and lingerie does not make me a woman though it does sooth the desire and takes me a step closer to my dream. my lingerie and make up dresses and what ever else i may wear only mask the male with them. a woman is lovely and cherished. though i may speak of a lady of which i believe there is a difference between a woman and a lady. women are borne ladies are made from women. A woman has the ability to turn on her sex appeal and her charm and with that can woe any thing from a male. A woman is lovely, though the cloths and breast don't make a woman they do aid in the making of a woman. it would be difficult to be a woman with out them. My friend who lost her breast and her life was woman to the hilt. she later got prosthesis or not really prosthesis but had reconstructive surgery. sadly, for me she lost her battle. it was not the cancer that took her but Angio edema took her. I don't however, believe one can pin all these attributes to every woman. After all women are people and as people go some are selfish and not so considerate of others, some are not graceful and some are not very lovely. Women think differently than a male, i have never had interest in "male" things such as hunting, Nascar or any other thing, i have never enjoyed "hanging with the boys" with a beer and a football game. i am a gentle compassionate soul. i am considerate of others even if it means i come out on the loosing end. i do not think of my self as a man, it's even hard for me to say i am a Man. so i refer to my self as a gender neutral thing such as person. i think it would be difficult to pin any certain trait or attribute to women in general

[kellycan27]

Having had the opportunity to give this question more thought I have to honestly say that being transsexual is something that I don't really ever think about....(unless I am here on the boards). Away from the boards, I am just me. I am just out there living it 24/7,365. Home,work,play,relationship,intimacy. I don't see my life being much different than my gg friends,or gg co-workers as far as everyday living. I am perfectly comfortable in a cocktail dress, or a pair of jeans,make-up or sans.
So maybe that's what it takes (for me) to "be a woman"........ not thinking about NOT being a woman. :battingeyelashes:
Kelly

[Angie F]

Originally Posted by kellycan27
Clothes and such ...boobs,body,long hair,make-up are more or less cosmetic.It's what is in my heart and soul that does it for me. I am transsexual,and proud of the fact, and proud of what I have accomplished in my goal to be as womanly as possible. I can never be, and have no illusions of being a real woman, but I am happy with the life I have chosen to pursue.
And for the record..... the cosmetic stuff is a big help.

Kelly


__________________________________________________ ______

I would have to agree with Kelly on this, Sherlyn made a good point too..... what does it mean to be a man? To me, I believe that you are whom you truely feel in your heart that you are :)

[sherri52]

I am a woman now, this very moment. 30 minutes ago I was a man waiting to become a woman. I have no womanly parts, I don't think I could ever pass (although I try), and I only spent a few minutes getting dressed. I am not going anywhere and I'm not going to see anyone, I'm in for the night alone. However; at this point I feel like a woman therefore I am woman.

[Penelope Marie]

I am a woman now, this very moment. 30 minutes ago I was a man waiting to become a woman. I have no womanly parts, I don't think I could ever pass (although I try), and I only spent a few minutes getting dressed. I am not going anywhere and I'm not going to see anyone, I'm in for the night alone. However; at this point I feel like a woman therefore I am woman.

ok if you say so

[Adelaide]

For me, being a woman is feeling & acting like one....and being comfortable with it!
A.

[Kate Simmons]

Hmm, this could very easily become one of those "no win" questions Holly. Women have a big job. Not only do they bear, deliver and take car of youngins, they are the adhesive that holds families together. Their biggest challenge by far, however, is making sure their men behave and play nice with their toys and stay in the sandbox, all the while looking beautiful. How many "would be" women can do that and still manage to smile?:)

[Patricia Jane]

We are both Male and Female. One part dominates at one time, and the feeling may last for a few minutes, hours or days! Then the other side takes over. We should learn to enjoy the side that is dominate at that time. All of us are both male and female. Learn to enjoy both, and try not to hurt anyone, yourself or your SO.:hugs:

[Ze]

So what is it really "to be a woman?" What does it actually take?

Your mindset. If you feel like you're a woman, then you're a woman. Simple.

Same reason why dudes like me feel like dudes. Our mindset.

The only problem people might feel, then, is how to project that mindset to the public. But that's a whole different story and not at all what the question asks. We start to get in trouble there as we begin to start playing into (sometimes seriously offensive) gender stereotypes.

I think a lot of people here constantly confuse their essence as a specific gender with actually projecting that gender essence.

Essence before experience, people. Otherwise, where would it come from to begin with?

Thanks for posting this thread, Holly. :)

[Chrissie P]

I read this a long time ago and I am not sure I completely agree. A girl becomes a woman after she has sexual intercourse. "you are a woman now..."

To me, a woman is well... womanly. Her body is female, she is soft in all of the correct physical places and she has the equipment to give birth, although not all women can. These things we, as CD's cannot have.

A woman mind is different than a mans. She is generally more gentle, a little more subtle in demeanor, she has the ability to attract men, her movements are "feminine" and she dresses and wears her hair differently than a man. These things we, as CD's CAN have with practice.

I know that I go into "womanly" mode when I am dressed. The effect of the makeup, clothing and hair puts me in a bit of a trance or mood that is very womanly. My personality changes to a softer, quieter yet firm and somewhat demanding Chrissie. My thoughts become very womanly, and when I am intimate I am completely a "woman" in actions and feelings.

I will never be female, but I can be a woman.

[lynnd]

a woman is soft, not only in her skin but in her affection and compassion for others, she is gentle and graceful, she is considerate of others. Though she Will not be bullied or pushed about.
After all women are people and as people go some are selfish and not so considerate of others, some are not graceful and some are not very lovely. Women think differently than a male,
i am considerate of others even if it means i come out on the loosing end.


Penelope Marie - As a GG myself I think you did a wonderful job describing a woman.

[Penelope Marie]

Penelope Marie - As a GG myself I think you did a wonderful job describing a woman.

Thank you,

[carhill2mn]

I do not know what it would be like to be a "woman". This word has so many meanings and implications.
My goal is to be as a "lady-like" as possible and to be accepted as a lady when ever I am presenting myself as a lady. This includes, clothing, makeup, hair, jewelry, manners, actions, speech and behavior.

[Cheshire Gummi]

I'll say pretty much what I said in other thread I answered this question in.

I think being a woman means one thing. It's the same thing for men, as well.

Is that who you feel you are?

The other details are irrelevant. Yes, gender is *supposed* to be a system to classify physiological differences between those with penises and those with vaginas, but that's quite a different discussion.

How you feel about what a woman is or should be is entirely yours to possess. If you feel a woman is someone who is warmer, someone who is perhaps more confident, someone who births children, whatever your definition, it belongs to you. Just keep in mind that it is not my definition, nor is it a global definition. There are plenty of women who never have children, women who are careless and cold, women who are completely consumed with themselves, just as there are men who carry those descriptions.

But the long and short of it is that people simply are who they are. There is no way to categorize humanity and character, so forget the categories and try to be what you feel you are. I am a woman and I don't need to prove it with my genitals. I do nicely with my personality. If you do not agree that personality makes me a woman, that is simply your cross to bear.

To put it another way, is it really going to be chaos if we let people define themselves?

[Fab Karen]

think it would be difficult to pin any certain trait or attribute to women in general
That would be correct, just as it's true for men.

[suchacutie]

When I post, I try to be careful to talk about being "feminine" and not about being a "woman". This has been talked about before and I buy into the framework that there are simply experiences we can't have...sad as that may be. I do think it's clear to "present as a woman" as when we are putting forth our feminine persona. One doesn't have to 'be' a woman to present as one.

Having said that, those of our group here who have made the transition to 24/7 m2f have come as close as one might come to making the transition to the other gender. I think it's those wonderful people that I would like to hear from because they really have gone there, and without exception I'm sure it's been a terrifically difficult journey. The more I attempt to be feminine, the more I am amazed at what it takes to make that incredible commitment to the 24/7 lifestyle!

tina

[Kolokea GG]

Well its very hard to describe...I am my own woman...We are all different and that's what makes us who we are. I am what you might say is so what old fashioned because of my up bringing. I think a better way to ask is "what kind of woman are you?"

I am a mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and wife. I am the one that holds the family together. I am the doctor, nurse, or counselor if it is needed. i am the problem solver or the shoulder to cry on. I am ME.

[Wen4cd]

"I wish to be a woman, a female human, defined as that sex which produces the larger of the gametes needed for reproduction.

No, wait. I wish to produce larger gametes what...? No no no....

Hmm...How about this?

I wish to be what I perceive to be a woman, a female human, not defined as that sex which produces the larger of the gametes needed for reproduction, but actually defined by that which I subjectively perceive to be female - through secondary sexual characteristics; symbols associated with gender in my own social environment and time-frame; and my own fantasies.

No wait, too much going on here. Let's simplify.

I wish to be [-]what I perceive to be a woman, a female[/-] human, [-]not defined as that sex which produces the larger of the gametes needed for reproduction, but actually[/-] [-]defined by that which I subjectively perceive[/-] [-]to be female - through secondary sexual characteristics; symbols associated with gender by my own social environment and time-frame; and my own fantasies[/-].


There we go."

[TGMarla]

To me, although I try to manifest an outward image of a pretty lady, it's mostly an internal, or mental feeling about myself at any given time. Inside, I feel like a female much of the time, especially when I'm dressed. So it's fair to say that the clothing, the breasts, the makeup, and the wigs do a lot for me to bolster that inner feeling.

However, I also am very drawn to the clothing, the styles, and the fabrics that they're made from. I love soft, pretty sweaters, for instance. I adore wearing dresses, hosiery, high heels, and jewelry. I enjoy wearing makeup like lipstick and mascara. And I love the smell of perfume, especially when I know it's coming from me.

So it's quite a complicated little package of several things that make me feel like a woman. And when I'm dressed, I get to feel like I'm "being" a woman for a short time. But truthfully, I know that I can never really "be" a woman. But I can sure try to feel that way.

[Sharon]

I haven't a clue as to how to be a woman. All I know is how to be me..., a woman. :)

[DemonicDaughter]

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't a woman... I was sleepy.

When I began work today, I wasn't a woman... I was an employee.

When I cooked dinner tonight, I wasn't a woman... I was a cook.

As I sit here and type this, I'm not a woman... I'm a friend.

When I go to bed tonight curled up next to my partner, I'm still not going to be a woman... I'm going to be a soulmate.

If I gave any moment in my life where I would use the description "woman" for myself it would be when Bre tells me she loves me, when my mother tells me how proud I make her, when my best friend calls to vent his heart out on my shoulder or when I have a quiet moment in front of my easel.

What does it mean to be a woman? Same as it does to be sleepy, an employee, a cook, a friend, a soulmate....

Human.

[Holly]

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to respond thus far. I sincerely appreciate the varied viewpoints expressed and I grateful to have heard from such a wide portion of the spectrum of gender. I am assimilating (resistance is futile :D) the material written thus far and would like to hear from others still, if you are so inclined to participate, I will post my own thoughts soon.

[stormrider]

I know a lot of women who look, act, and think like men. Are they any less women? Probably not. Is it the body. the clothes, or the acceptance of society that makes a woman a woman? This definition is different to different people and societies. For myself, I am a woman because I feel like a woman. My emotions, thoughts, and desires are the same as I have heard women express theirs to me. Would I like to have children? I have children and although I didn't physically birth them, I love them as a mother would. I have never been macho, even though some of my occupations would have been considered such at times. Because I have been cursed with a male body, doesn't make me bitter about who I am, nor does it make me any less of a woman in my mind. You are who you are, embrace it because you only get one chance to be you.

Michelle

[shannonsilk]

I have wondered about this myself. I only seem to know what it is like to feel like, or be, me. I am not exactly sure what it is to feel like a man, let alone a woman.
This is probably the best answer I've see.






How you feel about what a woman is or should be is entirely yours to possess. If you feel a woman is someone who is warmer, someone who is perhaps more confident, someone who births children, whatever your definition, it belongs to you. Just keep in mind that it is not my definition, nor is it a global definition. There are plenty of women who never have children, women who are careless and cold, women who are completely consumed with themselves, just as there are men who carry those descriptions.

But the long and short of it is that people simply are who they are. There is no way to categorize humanity and character, so forget the categories and try to be what you feel you are. I am a woman and I don't need to prove it with my genitals. I do nicely with my personality. If you do not agree that personality makes me a woman, that is simply your cross to bear.



ZE talked about a mindset. I can see where that would be true for those who live only in one gender. I am amazed that some other people can apparently throw an internal switch and "be a man" one moment and "be a woman" shortly thereafter. That is a fantastic achievement.

[sometimes_miss]

What would one who is not born that way have to do to achieve the goal of womanhood?
Really difficult to know this one. I'd have to say it can't be done; but you can get sort of a clue. SRS, move somewhere where no one knows you, and live the life. But unless you've done it, there's no way to know the experience of growing up female. Their lives and experiences are quite different from that of boys; so much of a woman's life revolves around their relationships, rather than activities and things; just listen to their discussions. And, they're acutely aware of their appearance, 100% of the time; we aren't. Even when we try, we can't know what it's like because we haven't lived our entire lives being stared at. Every part of a woman's clothing is geared towards making her sexually attractive to men. I've tried to learn by reading a whole lot of adolescent girl targeted literature, and have learned a lot; but 'classroom' will never be able to replace real life experiences.

[CharleneT]

Hmm.... you know this is a great question that I have no good answer for. Every time I think I have "it", I realize a good example of why "it" cannot be generalized to all women. I know what I think it means to be a good human.

I think that being comfortable in your skin, kind in your actions and having the ability to multi-task for life while those around you fall apart, seems to sum up a really basic viewpoint of what it is to be a woman. For me, a strong personality is a hallmark. But you could say the same about a man... I think that woman need to be more flexible in all things. Gosh ... this is hard !!

Live your life so that when a GG (or man ) looks at you, regardless of whether they clock you or not, they would say: "there goes a great woman...". There isn't one thing, or even a set of discrete things, that fill the bill.

[charlie]

Wow Holly, You have cut us to the quick so to speak. We can't be a woman, but only what we think a woman is. How we see women sit, eat talk, act and react. The closest to really feeling like a woman was when I went out on a date with a man. I got flowers, doors opened, taken to a restaurant, treated very special and even hit on. For my part I dressed well, kept up the conversation, complimented my date, minded all my manners, kept my knees together, and tried keeping my lipstick on! I acted and tried to be the best woman that I could. I was awarded with the feeling of being a woman and told that I was thought of as a woman as well.

[Earlene]

I'm not sure how to answer this post?

What is to be a women? What is a woman? My mother is a woman, but how do I define her? When you see someone walking down the street, what tells you she/he is a woman? Is it the way she presents herself? Is a "Woman of the night" a woman?

I really think it has to do with the way you present yourself. If I met two individuals walking down the street, one a GG and the other a CD and they presented themselves in the same manner, I would have to say they were both acting like woman, if they followed some criteria. Just to be a GG, in my opinion, doesn't automatically label you as a woman. It has more to do with what is inside, but it also has to do with the outside appearance. It is a total package.

Now, if you "aren't a woman"...what are you?

What I want is to be pretty (and I think I am) and to be accepted by my wife, whom I love very much. I don't think she will ever say that I am acting like a woman, but that doesn't matter, just as long as she accepts me, as I am, warts and all.

Penelope