cross dressing and anxiety

[Crissy]

Hi Girls

I get really nervous just thinking about cross dressing, and when dressing.

I get really nervy and emotional.

Any one got any tips on calming down a bit, before i crack

thx

Crissy

[Angela Burke]

don't do it

[jessbcuzz]

If you aren't comfortable, don't do it! If it's the fear of getting caught, go get a hotel room for the night.

[Barbara]

I agree...don't dress at home if it gets you upset...I do not .I use a hotel when I can . I am so much more relaxed and really enjoy my time.

[Toyah]

Beer and lots of it hun.

[Julie York]

Hi Crissy.
The nerves bit is the conflict between what you want to do and what you feel is wrong. It'll settle down a bit when you have done it a few times and / or feel more comfortable with what you are doing. I still get very jittery when I do it for probably the same reasons.

Some of us don't ever really lose that buzz and , in some cases, that's the addiction. The fear of getting caught also causes anxiety and paranoia. It's the two emotions pulling in opposite directions that causes the fear...desire versus guilt. Desire is first.....guilt to follow.

What you are experiencing is a very normal reaction to the internal conflict you are in. Most of us have been there in one way or another.


And so, logically, though I suspect it was said in fun...."don't do it"...would actually work too.....but where would the fun be in that?

:D

[Deborah]

May i ask why do you dress then if it gets you all nervous?

Some people here dress because it makes them feel better. I dress because i feel "normal" whatever that is. :confused:

[StephanieCD]

I get the nerves about it too - less now. The only thing that made them go away at all (and I'm still working on it) has been to force myself to create a safe circumstance like KNOWING I'll be alone and making myself just chill out in an article of clothing. It seems my nerves are my brain being so aware of random visitors and the chance of being caught. Control your environment and control your fear. You also run the risk of alienating all of your friends and becoming a troglodyte freak like me ;)

[Tristen Cox]

I get really nervous just thinking about cross dressing, and when dressing.

I get really nervy and emotional.


Why do something you are not comfortable with? Unless it's the rush you seek and if so calming down will only dull your desire to dress IMHO.

[Vivian Best]

Stephanie, I think you are hard on yourself, I guess, I don't know what a troglodyte freak is! I'm sure that nice girl like you couldn't possibly be one of what ever it is.

I do agree with you about controlling your environment and fear when dressing. I spent years trying to control my environment and had an irrational fear that I would be caught but never was. Both have to be controlled, then enjoy the moment.

Vivian :hiding:

[Wendy me]

the only time i get any anxiety when cding is when the key turns in the door lock ....and i can't change fast enough......

[ladyjim]

To make you feel better, I often crossdress to get rid of anxiety- after a hard day at the office for instance- I come right home take a shower and lately slipping into panty hose pumps and perhaps my wig as I unwind. Enjoying being a woman!tonite; tooka dip in the pool then changed into denim shorts and sandlefoot hose and my pumps!

[StephanieCD]

troglodyte \TROG-luh-dyt\, noun:
1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller.
2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.


A hermit, cave-dweller, anti-social, etc... ;)

[Tristen Cox]

A hermit, cave-dweller, anti-social, etc... ;)
Why thank you for the compliment :love:

[StephanieCD]

I was talking about ME! ;) But you can come, too :flirt:

[Khriss]

troglodyte \TROG-luh-dyt\, noun:
1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller.
2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.


A hermit, cave-dweller, anti-social, etc... ;)

hey- who let Spiro T Agnu loose in here,, I figured he was dead by now! ,, :lol:

[Khriss]

I think Your comfort level would change a lot with a secure, calm environment-location-location-location,, and plenty of time to relax and enjoy,, clean up after etc,, plan ahead, be prepaired, have fun :) :thumbsup:

[emmicd]

Chrissy

I enjoy the thrill of crossdressing but always concerned about being seen by my wife or son. That would not be good. So dressing secretly does take its toll on you.

Even though my wife now knows I'm a crossdresser I still respect her wishes and do not dress in front of her all that noticibly. Only femme trousers with polo shirt. Of course I do have femme swimwear underneath or panties.

I feel you should dress when you are comfortable and always exercise proper discretion.

I really like the picture in your profile. It is very sexy and very feminine!

Dress to feel good not to be scared!

Good Luck!

Emmi

[Florence Crook]

Hi Chrissy,

What sort of emotional do you get?

I still find, if I'm not very careful, that I can get very tense when I dress. This doesn't have to do with the risk of being discovered; I live on my own and, anyway, my dressing is not a secret. But I can still get very tense, and a bit compulsive about trying lots and lots of different things on. Perhaps it has to do with the intense concentration and focus involved it getting everything how I like it. I try to tell myself, Hey, this is supposed to be fun! Sometimes this works; sometimes it doesn't.

love, Florence

[michellej]

Try to figure out if your feelings are of nervousness or anticipation. There have been lots of comments here about being afraid of being discovered, but not the adrenalin (sp?) that comes with thinking about dressing. You just might be excited and thrilled about the thought of getting dressed, I am! What a rush! Wheeeeee:cheer:

[DonnaT]

It's a fear of getting caught, most likely. Do you have this fear?

If so, then you need to figure out who might catch you, how and why.

Then figure out how to prevent getting caught.

If it's not fear of getting caught, maybe you are thinking way ahead, about going out dressed for example. If you don't plan on going out, then try not to think such thoughts.

Maybe you were disciplined as a child because of showing some traits not considered manly, and are reliving it.

There are a number of reasons you might be getting nervous, which only you can really provide the true answer.

So think about why, tell us your answer, and maybe we can be more definite in our responses.

Note, however, that crossdressing is not wrong. It is a part of your nature, like handedness. Kind of hard to change.

[ronna]

It is a thrill, isn't it, Crissy!
As long as it's exciting, it might be risky too.
But you have to take that chance, don't you?

[Rachel Morley]

I'm quite a nervous person sometimes in my normal everyday life. Sometimes I get a "fluttery" feeling in my chest. I remember when I first started dressing regularly I used to get so nervous and shaky inside when I was putting my underwear on. Sometimes I got so nervous that I found it difficult to do up the buttons on my blouse or cardigan especially if they were small feminine buttons.

Thankfully, I have calmed down a bit now and only get a little bit shaky if my wife Marla has bought me something pretty and is watching me put it on for the first time.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Of course there is the "fear of getting caught". At least thats what you attribute it to.---But admit it, this fear has a certian "unusually deep" quality. Yes, some of it is fear of discovery, but for the most part, I would think that you are triggering a deeper, more "primal" fear---This is usually subconciously based and it is a natural reaction of the mind system when one's personal IDENTITY is threatened.---By crossdressing, you are symbolically becomming ANOTHER person, leaving your "normal" identity behind, jumping the natural bariers that contain your identity. Like when your LIFE is under threat, a Deeply seated "Fear" reaction is triggered.---In many people this fear is quasi-erotic especially when you "Jump the fence" so to speak of your identity bounds.----beyond THAt point there is a "Calm" that many CDers relish---those of us that CD to get away from ourselves (rather than those who want to be women) seek that calm. SOME of us seek the rush from crossing the line--a lot of the fear is part of that rush.

This is not unlike what the "extreeme thrill seeker" does and seeks when he crosses the "self preservation line" which is a similar mechanisim to the identity line.

Remember there are at least THREE main driving forces that may compel one to CD. One being that some people consider the "Female persona" their "real self"---and they go there to experience that. Other CDers (like myself) consider their fem self their "NOT self" and use CD to escape and relax from their personal stresses, and finally, there are those who only want the rush when the ID line is crossed. I would think that the last two would experience the "fear" more---as the "Fem identifier" is moving INTO her real identity and the other two are moving OUT.

Most of those that post here are of the first type, so they may not understand us the 'excapist' or 'pleasure rush ' CD objective. The feelings are different. We BOTH want to and Don't want to become women at the same time----"becoming a woman " for us is just a means or method to an end and not the end in itself.

[crispy]

[QUOTE=Angel Darling] Sometimes I get a "fluttery" feeling in my chest. I remember when I first started dressing regularly I used to get so nervous and shaky inside when I was putting my underwear on. Sometimes I got so nervous that I found it difficult to do up the buttons on my blouse or cardigan especially if they were small feminine buttons.

QUOTE]
I know that feeling only too well. Now I only experience it when I've bought something new and take it out of the bag in private. I relish undressing, showering, shaving my whole body, getting in the femme mood, and then putting on the new garment as slowly and sensuously as I can manage, holding my breath, my heart fluttering.

............... what a sissy !! I luvvit !! :cool:

[misty_waves]

Wow, Marina - so many interesting thoughts that you put down. And I think you're right... you can tell just by reading the posts of different members where they fall on that continuum. For me, there is no anxiety, but instead, the opposite of it. For me, it is like a wave of extreme ecstasy because it is a form of escapism, a fantasy. It allows me to escape the mudane-ness, or the cage, that I feel trapped in on a daily basis.

[Elinor]

Well part of crossdressing is the thrill of it.
I have a neighbour who gets out a ladder now and then and goes up to clear
the guttering passing my window :eek:

My feminine side had the desire to go out wearing a dress and wig and I loved every scary moment, hair brushing my cheeks, sound of my high heels clicking feeling the breeze blow up my skirts it was WONDERFUL.
yes I'm glad I did it but then I did not get caught .

To tell the truth a real thrill now is when wearing something "NEW" and I'm still looking for a pink pleated skirt. But its a thrill well worth waiting for it to come about, searching shops or the net, ebay ect for the prefect girlie look .

Its also a thrill to take a skirt on holiday and wear it in my hotel room.
What if its found in my case what if its found in my wardrobe?
Who cares? I'm a Janegirl I can't go weeks without wearing a slip: dress or skirt!

Elinor is part of being me and she is always with me wanting out.

Some things become the norm like putting on a dressing gown before answering the door to cover the fact I have a skirt on checking the mirror that I don't have lipstick on. Its all part of being a crossdresser.

More than once out the corner of my eye sitting dressed at the P.C. I have seen the ladder by the window and I had to move quick before the neighbour
came into view.

If a girl is in the closet then a girl must watch her modesty :rolleyes:

Summer is more of a problem as in winter the curtains can be closed early at night Nov-Feb as early as 4pm/5pm in Scotland.

My female neighbour has asked me why my curtains are closed.
Because I'm a lazy sod and to much stuff are laying around was my answer.

Well I could hardly say it was because I was cleaning the house while wearing my French Maid's uniform.

Girls being nervous while trying on something new to wear is normal for any girl not just Janegirls. :D

[Clare]

Hey Crissy, welcome to the forums.

I think you need to identify why you are so nervous. Is it fear of being caught by loved ones? Is it because you think you're doing something bad?

Whatever your responses, have faith that your feelings are based on your inner self. You can't change how you are, and it can take time to come to grips with your desires.

Just try to relax and don't get so worked up over your crossdressing. It will be with you for the rest of your life, but your life's circumstances will change over time, as will you.

Christine

[Crissy]

Hi Angel darling

i get flutters in thechest too. Extra beats due to the adrenalin surge.

Id love to hear how you deal with it more

Crissy



I'm quite a nervous person sometimes in my normal everyday life. Sometimes I get a "fluttery" feeling in my chest. I remember when I first started dressing regularly I used to get so nervous and shaky inside when I was putting my underwear on. Sometimes I got so nervous that I found it difficult to do up the buttons on my blouse or cardigan especially if they were small feminine buttons.

Thankfully, I have calmed down a bit now and only get a little bit shaky if my wife Marla has bought me something pretty and is watching me put it on for the first time.