An Awkward Dinner

[Amalia]

So my mum and her friend came down to visit me and her friends daughter here and we decided to all go out to dinner. during the dinner the subject of drag queens came up. My mum's friend mentioned that there was a bar in town that had shows and we should all go see it, but then they all started to make fun of them and saying stuff like "I've seen these people out in Barnes and Noble and I like to follow them" they continued on to make fun of them and insinuate various common myths about us. The whole thing made me very uncomfortable.

After the dinner my mum asked if i was mad at her or something I didn't really give her an answer as I'm only out to 3 friends. my only problem was I wasn't really sure how to react without completely outing myself.

[Stephanie Miller]

Well Amalia, Quite a few of your other posts suggest that you have given your mother a fair amount of information for her to be "in on your little secret" :heehee: Remember: Mothers have that intuition thing going for them. I'll bet she suprises you.
But just in case you want to play it safe.....
I have done quite a few outreach programs at the "U", so I know for a fact that for anyone that was there during one they would have come out of it with plenty of "ammunition" to defend crossdressers in general - without outing yourself. "I understand your misconceptions auntie, BUT, I have talked to several personally when they came to our human sexuality class ( or class of choice) for an outreach. Let me help clear up some of your misconceptions......"
Still not too late. If you have lunch with them again, just let them know about the outreach you attended since your last lunch.
Best of luck to you hun.

[trannie T]

Assuming that you are not ready to out yourself to mom you can stand up for crossdressers without giving up your secret. Simple statements like, "I understand that," or "I read that," can allow you to discuss the subject.

[Elsa Larson]

What a dilemma !!! The perfect opportunity to educate your mom and her friends, but you'd have to out yourself to do it.

I understand your reluctance to correct their misconceptions until you have completed your education, gotten a job and have your own place.

When you are ready, you have the perfect conversational opener.

[Miranda09]

If you approach this topic just as a matter of fact discussion, no one will think that you are a CDer. If they ask how you came upon your opinions, just say you were curious about it and did some research. You don't have to out yourself to have an opinion. :)

[Nicole Brown]

So my mum and her friend came down to visit me and her friends daughter here and we decided to all go out to dinner. during the dinner the subject of drag queens came up. My mum's friend mentioned that there was a bar in town that had shows and we should all go see it, but then they all started to make fun of them and saying stuff like "I've seen these people out in Barnes and Noble and I like to follow them" they continued on to make fun of them and insinuate various common myths about us. The whole thing made me very uncomfortable.

After the dinner my mum asked if i was mad at her or something I didn't really give her an answer as I'm only out to 3 friends. my only problem was I wasn't really sure how to react without completely outing myself.

Hi Amaila,

I am not sure if I am reading you post correctly, but from what I read from it, I am not sure that I would have been upset. First your mum and her friend talk about going to a show that features 'Drag Queens', no big deal, I love these shows and have seen a few myself. Then you state that they 'see and follow those people in Barnes and Noble', also no big deal. I personally have never seen 'these people' in B&N and I go there quite often.

I probably would have felt funny also if I considered myself a drag queen, but I don't, I consider myself a lady. You state "they continued on to make fun of them and insinuate various common myths about us." This is where I get confused, are you indicating that you are a drag queen? As I said, I am not, I am a lady. Perhaps you should reconsider who you are and have a more accurate image of who you are, unless I am reading too much into your comment or totally misreading you post. Sorry if I am...

Nicole

[Fab Karen]

I probably would have felt funny also if I considered myself a drag queen, but I don't, I consider myself a lady. You state "they continued on to make fun of them and insinuate various common myths about us." This is where I get confused, are you indicating that you are a drag queen? As I said, I am not, I am a lady. Perhaps you should reconsider who you are and have a more accurate image of who you are, unless I am reading too much into your comment or totally misreading you post. Sorry if I am...

Nicole
Some mainstream people say "drag queen" when discussing crossdressers- of course out of ignorance. Usually (as mentioned in this case) they have no idea of what they're talking about.

[Sheila]

hun sorry for being uncomfortable with your mum, her friend, and her daughter ............ and this is not to make you feel bad but ........... you could have challenged their misconceptions without outing yourself and perhaps paved the way for coming out to your mom a little more ............ if they asked "how come you know so much about it" you simply reply I have spoken to several people who are trangendered and if she asked where form, the net is a coverall :) .... and that is no lie ......... you are on here ;)

[TxKimberly]

I've been in situations like that myself. Not with family, but with my manager when we were eating lunch where they have a TG waiteress. I too was uncomfortable, but in the end the only compromise I was comfortable with was not making fun of her when the others did.

[JenniferR771]

Just say, "Oh they were talking about them public radio last week. Did you know that most crossdressers were married with children?"

It is sort of true. When I was seeing a counselor. Terry Gross of NPR's Fresh air has an interview with the author of the book, "Low Life in High Heels". About six years ago. Forgot the author, but...

Found it, Holly Woodlawn:
http://product.half.ebay.com/_W0QQprZ1382361QQtgZdetailsQ2drefresh

[Amalia]

thanks for the replies, there was quite a bit more said than I let on. I've actually been debating on outing myself since I posted. But if i do not i will use some of the advice whenever they start going off on crossdressers again.