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View Full Version : A question or two for my brothers.



Joan Merrie
09-13-2009, 07:50 AM
Hi guys, I'm Joan MTF transsexual, long time lurker first time poster.
Question, Do you find it's easier to make it through the world as a guy I/E your true self. I ask this because I've noticed that it's like people, can't figure out why I want to be female. They think it easier in life as a male. I tell them not if you are born with a female mind.
Please forgive this question, Do you have to do the same steps as us. Therapy, then hrt, then rlt, then srs?
I'm just wondering, trying to get to know my brothers more.
And every one of you all are, extremely handsome.:daydreaming: :hugs::love: Love, Your sis Joanie

Ze
09-13-2009, 09:58 AM
Well, since you called us handsome...:D (Oh, wait, was I the exception to that?)

I'm still fairly new to being a guy in public and have yet to be lucky enough for full-time, but as far as I've seen: No, it's not that much easier. There's all sorts of rules and tricks to adhere to so that you don't get the crap kicked out of you by your fellow dudes.

That being said, I still think women have it harder what with sexism and prevalent rape, domestic abuse, and sexual assault issues and very few (working) laws to protect them from all that crap. (Can you tell I'm still a feminist? :heehee: )

But, at the same time, still being female-bodied, I worry about the above when I'm forced into female mode or in the chance that I were to be found out. So sometimes I'll admit I feel like a guy who still feels subject to sexism on top of transhate. *shrugs*

So that was a really long way of saying that I don't know how GMs feel as men, but I know how I feel as a man. And, admittedly, it's probably a little different based on my background being different from theirs. I can't escape that. :sigh:

Anyway, one of the more experienced guys could answer this better, but as far as I know, the process for transition for FtMs is: therapy, full-time experience, HRT, SRS. The only major difference I've noticed is that most FtMs don't get bottom surgery since the technology is severely lacking. It simply isn't worth the money, outcome, and sacrifice to most. (MtF bottom surgery, on the other hand, seems to be just about perfected.)

Those are my answers. :ner: Hope I didn't confuse you.

And hi! :wave: I should have said that at the beginning, but it's nice to see that you've stopped lurking!

Joan Merrie
09-13-2009, 10:19 AM
Thanks Ze, and you are too cute, :hugs::love:

Shikyo
09-13-2009, 10:38 AM
Ze, you know already how I think about you so I'll just skip that part. At least I hope you do know it.

I have been wondering this as well about how it is for you. Like Joan, I've also gotten replies or I guess better said questions from others why do I want to make my life harder etc. I never really thought about asking you, my fellow brothers, about this matter. Joan's question was a great idea in my opinion.

There was is one more thing that I'm wondering about, besides what you already told. When you're in within a group a males, do they accept you the way you are as one of them a) if they know about your transsexuality b) if they don't know about your transsexuality? What about yourself, do you feel more comfortable around people who do not know about your transsexuality or who do know about it?

This would be little more mental kind of question but it still fits there. In your life a) as female(look wise only, of course. I know you're a guy but just wanted to make sure that no one here takes it as an insult*hugs*) b) as male did you always feel more comfortable around other males or around females assuming it would be a group of 10 or more? Did you kinda end up hanging out with guys a lot easier than with girls?

Sorry, if I'm asking too many questions but my curiosity has been wakened and there is no way for me to stop it.

P.S. Finally found this thread!

Thornton
09-13-2009, 10:57 AM
Hey. Thanks for finally speaking up. We don't bite, we promise...

It's easier for me to go thru life as my true self, but it's not easier for me to go thru life in general. If I had to go back to living as a female, I'd shoot myself. Living as a female bodied guy, I have to deal with body-dysphoria, public-bathroom problems, the problem with looking almost a decade younger than I actually am, getting a girlfriend when I'm not confident at all about myself, meeting new people and hoping they don't take me for a freak, applying for jobs when I have to "legally-lie" and present myself as female....it's not easy at all...but at least I like myself, who who I'll become.

The process: I actually never had to go thru therapy abut gender issues. I lived as male for long enough and was confident enough with what I wanted to do that I just went to my local clinic that deals with gender issues, got one mental evaluation, one physical evaluation, and then got approved for HRT. After this is chest surgery. And as Ze said, I'm not thrilled about the results of bottom surgery.

Though I don't believe it's required for FTMs do go in a certain order. We could have chest surgery, then hormones, then bottom surgery...though...it's required to be on hormones for a time before bottom surgery...

what's rlt?

Shikyo
09-13-2009, 11:49 AM
Hey. Thanks for finally speaking up. We don't bite, we promise...

I hope you don't! Biting sounds very scary, you know.


It's easier for me to go thru life as my true self, but it's not easier for me to go thru life in general. If I had to go back to living as a female, I'd shoot myself. Living as a female bodied guy, I have to deal with body-dysphoria, public-bathroom problems, the problem with looking almost a decade younger than I actually am, getting a girlfriend when I'm not confident at all about myself, meeting new people and hoping they don't take me for a freak, applying for jobs when I have to "legally-lie" and present myself as female....it's not easy at all...but at least I like myself, who who I'll become.

Sounds like rather similar problems we have to deal with. However, "legally-lie" caught my attention as I'm not sure how you mean it. Did you mean as lie by saying you're male or by stating your physical gender you were born with? Myself, if possible, I state myself as female because I live as a female.


The process: I actually never had to go thru therapy abut gender issues. I lived as male for long enough and was confident enough with what I wanted to do that I just went to my local clinic that deals with gender issues, got one mental evaluation, one physical evaluation, and then got approved for HRT. After this is chest surgery. And as Ze said, I'm not thrilled about the results of bottom surgery.

I wish I didn't have to go through the therapy. The Finnish law requires me and all the other trans gendered to go through psychological valuation that last at least 6 months. No matter the sex.

It's really too bad we couldn't just change our bottoms to make both of us happy. *giggles* Would be so much easier on everyone and in the end would give the best results. Sadly, it isn't possible but just at dream.


what's rlt?

It's real life test, you live for a certain time as the sex you want to live as to show yourself that you truly want to be in that sex. Usually needed for surgery as well.

Joan Merrie
09-13-2009, 01:07 PM
Thanks guys. It seems to me, that we face some of the same issues. Thornton, I've never realy thought about the bathroom situation for you guys also.:hugs::love:
By the way I'll say it again all of you guys are very handsome.:daydreaming:

Kieron Andrew
09-13-2009, 01:09 PM
By the way I'll say it again all of you guys are very handsome.:daydreaming:

Joan, flattery will get you almost anywhere :heehee::love:

Ze
09-13-2009, 01:14 PM
It seems to me, that we face some of the same issues.

Agreed. :) The details may differ, but we're all fighting that socialized gender dichotomy crap.


Ze, you know already how I think about you so I'll just skip that part. At least I hope you do know it.

Whether it's good or bad, I'm pretty sure we couldn't say it on here. :lol:


Joan, flattery will get you almost anywhere

Yeah, that's why we boys are such suckers in real life.

Lady: Want to lend me $5?
Me: Um...no.
Lady: *tickles under chin* Have I ever mentioned how cute you are?
Me: *gives $5*

Thanks so much, both Joan and Shikyo, for asking us questions and coming in to say hi. If you want to know anything else, you might be interested in this (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=115322) thread.

:love:

Kieron Andrew
09-13-2009, 01:16 PM
Yeah, that's why we boys are such suckers in real life.


i'll admit to that...my girl can ask anything of me and she gets it (with in reason)

Shikyo
09-13-2009, 01:40 PM
Agreed. :) The details may differ, but we're all fighting that socialized gender dichotomy crap.

Indeed, like a slightly modified version but in the end exactly the same goal.


Whether it's good or bad, I'm pretty sure we couldn't say it on here. :lol:

*jumps on Ze's laps and purrs* You decide, nyaaa.



Thanks so much, both Joan and Shikyo, for asking us questions and coming in to say hi. If you want to know anything else, you might be interested in this (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=115322) thread.

:love:

Oh no...I've been here before. Not asking questions though but getting SirTrey mind of his pain. I admit I was seduc...I mean chatting with other guys too.


i'll admit to that...my girl can ask anything of me and she gets it (with in reason)

Oo...*starts to make a wish list*

So let's shall started!

- I want daily patting and scratching
- Also lots of Kitty toys
- Thing to scratch
.
.
.

Oh wait...I'm not your girl....So what about the kitty postion? Already taken?

Kieron Andrew
09-13-2009, 01:42 PM
Oo...*starts to make a wish list*

So let's shall started!

- I want daily patting and scratching
- Also lots of Kitty toys
- Thing to scratch
.
.
.

Oh wait...I'm not your girl....So what about the kitty postion? Already taken?LOL awww no sorry i am very near enough married lol....but sshhh whilst shes not looking here you go :love:

Shikyo
09-13-2009, 01:48 PM
LOL awww no sorry i am very near enough married lol....but sshhh whilst shes not looking here you go :love:

Oh no...marriage ain't going to be a problem at all, nyaa. I'm married kitty you know. *purrs* Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about our little secret relationship, nyaaa.

Ze
09-13-2009, 01:51 PM
*jumps on Ze's laps and purrs* You decide, nyaaa.

Not again! :hypnotized:

Shikyo
09-13-2009, 01:57 PM
Not again! :hypnotized:

*still purring on his lap* You do know that you were asking for it, nyaa. So an innocent kitty like me couldn't just resist!

Andy66
09-13-2009, 02:00 PM
i'll admit to that...my girl can ask anything of me and she gets it (with in reason)
Awwww... and we ladies sure do appreciate nice gentlemen like you. :daydreaming:

Kieron Andrew
09-13-2009, 02:09 PM
Awwww... and we ladies sure do appreciate nice gentlemen like you. :daydreaming:

:bs: and you know how to make a gentleman smile *and blush:o*

Joan Merrie
09-13-2009, 04:42 PM
OK you all have a pet trans kitty now. How about a pet Trans bunny rabbit?:JoanMerrie::hugs::love:

Ze
09-13-2009, 04:43 PM
OK you all have a pet trans kitty now. How about a pet Trans bunny rabbit?:JoanMerrie::hugs::love:

If there's one thing we like, Joan, it's bunnies. :D

alexis GG
09-13-2009, 04:58 PM
hehe don't magicians pull bunnies out of hats like these http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/Tamara-GG/fedora.jpg ... *runs off with hat before Ze pinches it*

Ze
09-13-2009, 05:01 PM
Curse you, alexis!

:wf:

(Hey! That smiley's actually getting some real use now! :heehee: )

Joan Merrie
09-13-2009, 06:21 PM
This bunny loves hats. Their so warm and cozy.:hugs::love:

Andy66
09-13-2009, 07:12 PM
:wn: :wn: :wn:
OMG OMG OMG! Thread hijacking!!!

...Oh look, a bunny!
*pet pet pet*

-ahem-
My theory is that life will probably be easier overall if you live it in whatever form you feel happiest. No matter what, there will always be challenges in life. What counts is not so much what happens, but how you react to it.

Ze
09-14-2009, 06:49 AM
:wn: :wn: :wn:
OMG OMG OMG! Thread hijacking!!!

...Oh look, a bunny!
*pet pet pet*

-ahem-
My theory is that life will probably be easier overall if you live it in whatever form you feel happiest. No matter what, there will always be challenges in life. What counts is not so much what happens, but how you react to it.

I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, but it did. :rofl2: :loc:

Andy66
09-14-2009, 08:23 AM
I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, but it did. :rofl2: :loc:
I've got a quirky sense of humor. :bs: