Panties, age, and desire

[Lara Smith]

In a few months I will be sixty years old. I still look great and feel good. But I don’t have access to my stuff. The older I get, the more I want to wear my panties and camis and heels, and breasts. If I were single, I would be shaved and fully dressed as much as possible. The thing is, the older I get, the more (obsessed?) I want to wear at least the aforementioned girly things. I have been wearing girl’s things since I was in my teens. My wife has been very fun and supportive at many times in our life, but lately, and as she ages, she is less and less inclined to sex of any kind, (suffers from very black depression) and I think would just give up the ghost if she new I was actively indulging my needs and I won’t do that to her. That leaves me very frustrated though!

Looking back on my life I kind of regret being so fearful when I was younger (high school and later) because I knew so many gay females (probably because without knowing it they were drawn to me because I was just like them, meaning a lesbian in my heart and soul) and had several girlfriends later that tried and somewhat did talk me into wearing items of their clothing. So many chances and I never revealed myself. Some of the opportunities were amazing when I look back. But socially those were the Dark Ages and who knew there were tens, hell, hundreds of thousands like me all over the world and had been since God knows when?

I could have spent my life in cross dressed lesbian panty loving bliss and never knew it. The wonderful thing about dressing is that there are so many aspects to it, and so many kinds of sexual fantasies and roles that can be acted out and shared. Since sex is all in your mind anyway, the experiences I could have had, (even though some were so interesting) could have been enriching beyond belief! If I had only been born a few generations later. Who knows…I might have even had a whole career and lifestyle just dressing for my own pleasure and want. Many of us could have.

I had so many opportunities to share my true self with women that came into my life in the most odd ways. Each opportunity came to me in very different and unexpected ways, and each would have found me in their clothes in some way in what I now know would have been a positive and fun way. I missed nearly all of them for fear of being branded and outed. I know they wouldn’t have now, but even if they had, maybe that would have been a good thing. My life would have been very different and I wouldn’t still feel like I was hiding, even though I consider dressing and its need a blessing. I could ramble on all night, but already a long post. Just wanted to share.

[Chari]

Lara, Very interesting post about your feelings. I am certain there are many in this forum that have experienced similar feelings of "shoulda, woulda, coulda", and have found that most of our worst fears come from within. The past cannot be changed, so live the best you can for now & all your tomarrows. Please do what makes you feel good-whether underdressing, or fully dressing as Lara. Always be comfortable and confident in who you are! It is your life.

[Angie G]

I'm sorry to hear you can't find the opportunity to dress. I am 61 years old And wasted a lot of time I'm the past concerning dressing. Such is life we can't always see what's infront of us. I do hope in some way something will work out for you to get some dressing time in.:hugs:
Angie

[Kristy 56]

I know how you feel,because it was just a few months ago at age 56 that I was able to fulfill my dreams. Are there any places that you can shop,or get facials,pedicures etc ? I was able to find a few places where I could go and feel comfortable being a girl for a few hours. I am able to dress there and relax for an hour or two and just be Kristy. I hope that you soon find it too.

[sherri52]

Thanks for sharing Lara. Its nice to know that our own problems over the years were shared with others. Had we only knew how to get in touch with each other then. Thank you Dan Quayle

[RADER]

Hi Laura:
I can relate, the old saying " been thier, done that" applies.
I am 63, and wish I had done more when I had the chance than I did.
Now to make up for lost time as they say. Rader

[Laura Evans]

Lara, I identify with you. I am 61 and dating a woman who knows all about Laura, accepts her 110%, and enjoys making love to her. Because of her acceptance I have ventured out publicly more than I have ever done before. I too mourn the past and wished this had happened when I was younger but alas it was not to be. I have let it go and I am enjoying the present I have now. Take care my friend.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I'm going to be 45 in January although I'm told I look at least 10 years younger. I had CDed alittle when I was 16 but stopped and didn't embrace my femme side and start dressing again till January 2008.Looking back had I known I was going to meet an accepting woman like my wife,I would've been CDIng althrough my 20's and 30's. I look back and think all the time I missed,but you cannot just jump in a Delorean time machine and go back. So now I can enjoy CDing though my 40's,50's and beyond.


Felicity

[Alice B]

A very interesting and reveling post. I'm 67 (almost 68) and did not start dressing until my early 60's, so I can't really comment on what could have been. Given my past life I doubt I could have acted on on any dressing desires or other could have/would have situations, even if I had know that I was a cross dresser then. As it is I'm in the closet, except to my wife, immediate friends and family. And only out to most of them within the past few months. Can only dress at home, but not in presence of wife although it is OK with her. Only get out once or twice a year and at that not every year.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm going to be 45 in January although I'm told I look at least 10 years younger. I had CDed alittle when I was 16 but stopped and didn't embrace my femme side and start dressing again till January 2008.Looking back had I known I was going to meet an accepting woman like my wife,I would've been CDIng althrough my 20's and 30's. I look back and think all the time I missed,but you cannot just jump in a Delorean time machine and go back. So now I can enjoy CDing though my 40's,50's and beyond.
Felicity

How nice to read such a POSITIVE post! :)
I can only hope Lara will take your attitude to heart!:thumbsup:

With luck, she may have 20, 25 years of healthy life left. It's NOT TOO LATE to enjoy your life, Lara!

PLEASE ALL OF U, do what u need to do, NOW! :D

There r too many here with REGRETS. I find that very sad. :sad:

[Megan70]

...I had so many opportunities to share my true self with women that came into my life in the most odd ways. Each opportunity came to me in very different and unexpected ways, and each would have found me in their clothes in some way in what I now know would have been a positive and fun way. I missed nearly all of them for fear of being branded and outed. I know they wouldn’t have now, but even if they had, maybe that would have been a good thing. My life would have been very different and I wouldn’t still feel like I was hiding, even though I consider dressing and its need a blessing. I could ramble on all night, but already a long post. Just wanted to share.
Lara I definetly can relate. I'm 62, on S.S. and have been dressing and going out in public walking the streets at night since i was 13 back in 1960. Back then you were called a transvestite and there were laws on the books in many cities that stated you could be arrested for impersonating a woman, court, arraignment . fine or short jail time. Thank God its not like that now. I staerted being bolder when coming out to my wife, when she discovered me accidently in '72 and went out publically with her to malls, grocery shopping, restaurants, walks, leissure in public. I was 25 and living a dream I could have never imagined 10 years before.

As years went by I can say I experienced it all, everything I wanted to do dressed or impersonating a woman I did, and engaged in wonderful sex with my wife ( and only her). So at this point in my life its routine to go out,talk and buy from sales clerks in my feminized voice, buy thing alone, go out to dinner. All are repeats and I can say there is no stone left unturned.

The thing i do regret and am so damn envious of is I wish my life had been shifted 30 years and I was in my 20's or 30's NOW and had all those wonderful years ahead with todays new mores and values and acceptence. But there would unfortunately have to be a tradeoff and that is that I Loved the retro( now) clothes of the 60's, Bouffant hair, heavy eyemakeup,sexy extra feminine look like the girls on the old Lawerance Welk Showof the 60's., full skirts with petticoats and especiall stockings and garters.. my fetish, no pantyhose then til '67.:battingeyelashes:

I greatly admire those absolutely beautiful CD's in their 20's 30'and 40's on this forum who look so much liks GG's it hard to tell.I wish I were them NOW.young and beautiful, slim and under 140 lbs and under size 12. :daydreaming:
All I can do is wish them a lifetime of good dressing, beauty, vantiy and pride. I will continue as I age, and grow old gracefully and sometimes switch from my brown wig to grey one ( see my albumns) and dress appropriately for my age.So should everyone. My essay is finished
:2c:

Megan

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Sherry,

Thank you very much. I always try to think positive.When I first started CDing again,I admit I felt a little strange,but now I'm very confident.Been out driving while dressed and went out in daylight and hopefully I'll be going to my first CD/TV outing next month all dressed femme.

Megan,
Your picture in your avatar,you look good for your age. If I were you,I'd hold off on the gray wig.Look at Susan Lucci,she looks great for her age. I hope I can look that good when I'm 60.


Felicity

[Glenda58]

Lara I to wish to young now. Will 62 next week.
Things are diffirent now. And I know I would be accepted. I still have fun but my wife doesn't like to dress around her. So I have to wait till she leaves to see her friend on the other side of the state.

[Meghan]

Lara I definetly can relate. I'm 62, on S.S. and have been dressing and going out in public walking the streets at night since i was 13 back in 1960. Back then you were called a transvestite and there were laws on the books in many cities that stated you could be arrested for impersonating a woman, court, arraignment . fine or short jail time. Thank God its not like that now. I staerted being bolder when coming out to my wife, when she discovered me accidently in '72 and went out publically with her to malls, grocery shopping, restaurants, walks, leissure in public. I was 25 and living a dream I could have never imagined 10 years before.

As years went by I can say I experienced it all, everything I wanted to do dressed or impersonating a woman I did, and engaged in wonderful sex with my wife ( and only her). So at this point in my life its routine to go out,talk and buy from sales clerks in my feminized voice, buy thing alone, go out to dinner. All are repeats and I can say there is no stone left unturned.

The thing i do regret and am so damn envious of is I wish my life had been shifted 30 years and I was in my 20's or 30's NOW and had all those wonderful years ahead with todays new mores and values and acceptence. But there would unfortunately have to be a tradeoff and that is that I Loved the retro( now) clothes of the 60's, Bouffant hair, heavy eyemakeup,sexy extra feminine look like the girls on the old Lawerance Welk Showof the 60's., full skirts with petticoats and especiall stockings and garters.. my fetish, no pantyhose then til '67.:battingeyelashes:

I greatly admire those absolutely beautiful CD's in their 20's 30'and 40's on this forum who look so much liks GG's it hard to tell.I wish I were them NOW.young and beautiful, slim and under 140 lbs and under size 12. :daydreaming:
All I can do is wish them a lifetime of good dressing, beauty, vantiy and pride. I will continue as I age, and grow old gracefully and sometimes switch from my brown wig to grey one ( see my albumns) and dress appropriately for my age.So should everyone. My essay is finished
:2c:

Megan

Megan,

Your post is incredible. It should be required reading in my opinion. Thank you for this.

On the other hand, there is still plenty of time for your to go where you want to go! I wish you the best of luck!!!

Meghan