Why Did You Give Yourself a Name?

[Cathytg]

There have been threads here that dealt with why each of us chose the name we did and the reasons are interesting and sometimes profound. We can easily see that some names are somewhat fanciful and could never actually be used in society and that some names are ordinary - they are "passable" you might say.

I have a question directed largely to those of us who do not actually mingle with the larger world on any kind of interactive social basis:

Why, if nobody ever addresses us or even talks to us, why have we taken the trouble to give ourselves names? Certainly there is no social value, so why do we have feminine names? Do we think of our fem selves as being distinct persons from our masculine selves? Is the name merely an extension of the desire to look good dressed and, therefore, part of the image? Why do we bother?

Upon reflection, I think about never being called by my fem name (this does not happen in my case) and a great sadness comes over me. There is a loneliness in a world where nobody calls you by your name.

So, why do have a fem name...at all?

[Kali]

While it's not the screen name I use here, my SO gave me a name so she could introduce me as something other than my male name if I was dressed.

[Cathytg]

Now, that's a good practical reason. It sure beats "Hey, you"

[Karren H]

It's the name in the back of my head since I could remember.. Maybe if my mother hadn't kept reminding me I was supposed to have been a girl when I was young, I would be happy... Happish.... Happier.... with my birth name?

[Kate Simmons]

It's all part of a larger process Cathy.:)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

You know what's funny about me, is that I had two femme names I used online for the history of my crossdressing "career," from my teenage years into my twenties, originally I called myself "Zoe Carlyle" because it just sounded so sophisticated, and then eventually started going by "Alyssa Ryan" because the name Alyssa means truth and Ryan is my first name. However, what's funny is, the few times that I did actually go out with some friends and I was dressed up like a girl, the first time a stranger asked me my name I said "Ryan."

[JulieC]

I don't attempt to pass in public, and so calling myself "Julie" has nothing to do with carrying a public persona. The only real reason I started using a femme name was so my wife and I could discuss something related to crossdressing in front of our kids without our kids quite understanding the gist of the conversation. "Honey, do you think Julie would like these shoes?" We have no actual friends named "Julie", so it offers no confusion for our kids. Of course, if we manage to acquire a friend named Julie, we'll have to come up with another name :)

I don't subscribe to the idea that I have a second personality that can be encompassed in the convenient box of "Julie". I am who I am, 100% all of me, which includes femme aspects and masculine aspects. "Julie" is just a name as a convenient tool, nothing more.

[skirtsuit]

I don't subscribe to the idea that I have a second personality that can be encompassed in the convenient box of "Julie". I am who I am, 100% all of me, which includes femme aspects and masculine aspects. "Julie" is just a name as a convenient tool, nothing more.

Well put.

I picked the name 'ann' simply because I needed some other 'handle' when out and about. It has nothing really to do with me, except I'll respond to it when dressed.

I thought about using a different femme name each time I went out to the TOC or Angela's but I'm enoying enough already

All the Best,

Ann / Skirtsuit

[JennyS.]

Oh... It's way different for me. My male and female personas are very different. I love being 'Jenny'... But, I love my male self, too. While I'm getting dressed, my mind starts to 'switch over' to Jenny. I don't think about the things that my male self does. As a male, I love football, golf, NASCAR, martial arts... Those kinds of things. As Jenny, I don't even think about those things. It's more about my hair, do I match, does my makeup look okay? Yeah, in male mode I may think about Jenny and stuff, but I still love the male in me.

[Barbara918]

oddly, I chose a fem name for business reasons.

I used to write for a magazine that had a policy of never usingthe same byline twice in a single issue. So if they used two things I wrote, one beeded a pseudonym. As to why I chose a fem name, it's a pun on my male name. So the name existed before the fem persona did.

[Crissy Kay]

Well, if I want to talk to the girl I see in the mirror, I would feel pretty silly calling her my male name!!!

[maggiecdva]

Hmmm .... I picked a name that would be appropriate for my background and sound feminine. In this case Maggie (I am Irish).

My therapist once asked me if I had a middle name and I was actually thinking that I should create one about the same time. I chose Katherine (spelled with a K).

So now when I leave voice messages for my therapist I will often say Hello this is Maggie Katherine. The funny thing is she will look for me in her phone list under my female name forgetting that she has me entered with my male name.

Hugs - maggie

[Miranda09]

Well, it separetes my male and female personas, and even tho I don't go out much, I do intereact alot here and having a name to refer to makes it a more personal experience.

[SandieAE]

I have reverted to using the first name of Sandie when in drab mode in all my dealings with people except family and legal issues. So far I have had no issues at all. A couple of times, I have been asked why and I just say that I like the name Sandie - no further issues. Nobody seems to have a problem with this. So I say do what ever makes you feel good.

Sandie

[Emma Chase]

I needed a name for this site ..

Also like has already been mentioned here.. if I was dressed en fem I would not wish to be referred to by my male name :)

[BunnieCashmere]

Well, if I want to talk to the girl I see in the mirror, I would feel pretty silly calling her my male name!!!

Exactly! Calling myself Robert in the mirror or having my wife call me Robert would be weird.

I used to call myself Robbie, but that was weird because my mother called me Robbie when I was a little boy, and it just reminded me of my mother.
Eventually I started calling myself Zoey, because I thought it was exotic, but there's a lot of TG and CD girls named Zoey.
Now that I've come out to all my friends and stuff, I'm Bunnie, and it's actually an ironic name, I wanted it to sound like a tranny name.

[Stephenie]

I choose a name when I started here some years ago. But since then I have felt more and more that Stephenie is the real me and my male name (name is different enough to out me:eek:)is the one I have been hiding behind. I see myself as Stephenie wether I am dressed or not.

[suchacutie]

It happened quickly and, seemingly, naturally. My wife and I discovered Tina together, and since we wanted to find out who she was, we needed to let her have an identity. It seemed clear to us that blurring the masculine and feminine side of me was not a good idea and we still think that's true. Having a name lets us talk about how Tina thinks or acts without confusion. It followed that she would have her own e-mail address, etc.

I guess the short answer is that it gave an identity to the whole aura of being feminine!

tina!!!

[tricia_uktv]

I've just had two days of only being called Tricia or Trish. But then I've just had two days fully dressed. I love it! Not sure about Iain though :)

[Lorileah]

The story I stick to is, Lori was who i was supposed to be if I was a girl and it's better than being called "you with the skirt!"

But I must have three personalities because I also have another female name Mina Castor

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I consider my femme side to be a seperate entity from my male side. Therefore "she" needed, demanded, and picked a name.

[Phyliss]

The name I picked was easy enough. A simple change of my "boy" name, Philip to Phyliss. As for the spelling, there must be at least ten different ways. I picked that way, just because.

Now to the question of why did I even pick a name.

A simple answer would be " I AM SOMEBODY " and I deserve a name.

[ashcrimson]

Because my old name was not the one I wanted, but what someone else wanted for me.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Michael Kelly, as I am transitioning soon and essentially living and presenting full time at home and 80% at work I wanted a nicer sounding name than Michael Herbert Kelly. I chose a new first name and middle name from people I admired, that I knew. I came up with Kimberly Marie Kelly.

So for me a new name was a requirement and a need to be me. Kimberly Marie Kelly :battingeyelashes:

[Maxi]

A sport group I belong to refers to me as Maxi already in male mode, so it is a name I answer to without a second thought.

[jenna_woods]

well with me I do use my female name, and its used in some of the shope I shop in, and besides we all need a female name.

[Paula G]

I want both sides of me to be equal, in a yan/yang kind of way, and since I already have a male name I needed to have a female name in order to balance it out. Complicated, but true.

[Kristy 56]

My male name just sounded all wrong while I was dressed,or feeling girly. I so much love hearing the GG's at the salon,or when shopping call me Kristy. Because when I'm feeling girly,that's who I am.

[Sarah-RT]

I dont give myself a name i must say, i
used the name sarah however as my previous username was a risk to outting myself.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Rebecca Jayne was that little voice inside of me for years. I nurtured her until she grew strong enough to come out and join the world.

[sherri52]

Although many do not yet go out in public, they may do as I have done. I am on many sites dressed as a female Zwinky, Imvu, twitter, and flitter. We may not engage outside but on line it's a different story.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Well, many years back, I had been thinking about having one for a while, I knew about the tradition of them in support groups, even though I didn't go out. I didn't get to use it till 1999, online. and now, it's me, but yet not me. I've not decided what my permanent name would be (if I ever reach the legal documentation point), but I have decided that I will have the traditional middle name of the female members of my family, in honor of my late mother.

Veronica Rogers

[AmandaM]

Since looking in the mirror and saying "I feel like Black Bart" doesn't seem girly? :)

[Frédérique]

Why, if nobody ever addresses us or even talks to us, why have we taken the trouble to give ourselves names?


I gave myself a feminine name because it was required to have a presence here – until I found sites like this, it never would have occurred to me! I always thought of myself as myself, dressed or not, but since everyone else in MTF had a feminine name (well, almost everyone), I thought it would be fun to join in. Once my name was in place, I got into the whole idea more, but only in a hidden one-step removed sort of way. I mean, I don’t get all dressed up, look in the mirror and say “Hello, Frédérique.” I’m only Freddy when I come here, and it’s fun not to be “me,” even though my feminine persona is 100% me – does that make any sense?

[Edwina27]

It goes along with the rest of the image, the clothes, shoes, makeup etc. Kinda completes the package.

Also comes in handy for online games when a fem name is needed for those female characters we play. :D

[NathalieX66]

I never liked having femme names because I always though such a thing was a lie, and kind of hokey. But then I thought, what the heck? I am not Nathan, I just went with the family heritage.

...unisex names are better, like for instance, Dana, Darcy, kelly, Tracy, Robin, Ashley, Jamie, Meredith, Jody plus French names like René & Michel, minus the 'e' at the end.

[Tamarah]

I just LOVE the way Tamarah Michelle Lee, rolls off of my tongue. Tamarah Michelle is of my own creation, but the Lee is after the most beautiful and wonderful woman I have ever known! - my wife -
xoxo
Tamarah

[Tamarah]

Soooo many of you have such Beautiful stories, and such Beautiful Names. Makes me cry, with tears of endearment to what I feel, and tears of pride for all of you and us!

Im new here, so, I just want to say Im PROUD of ALL of YOU!
xoxo
Tamarah Michelle Lee

[AllieSF]

I took a female name because it seemed like the right thing to do. Now that I have had it awhile, I see it's usefulness and i like it. I picked something close to my male name becuase I tend to forget other people's name and I was afraid that I would also forget my new name.

[Brina Halloween]

I'm dull...I needed one for this site.

I know a lady with the female version of my name and she wasn't amused when a guy used it on me a few years ago. So, mixed letters a bit, added Halloween since that had been the reason to start....presto, let's have a name.

Strangely, I actually met a Brina after choosing this username.

Brina

[kellycan27]

So as not to confuse people

[Philipa Jane]

Hello all.
I for one gave myselfe a screen name that is close to my male identity.
I would not expect to be refered to by this name anywhere but here.
I was astounded at the weekend when my partner who was hugging me at the time told me that she loved me, and in the next breath said "but I'm not sure on Philipa".
The suprise was that one she was having fun at my expense(no problem there) and two that she used my screen name.
Both to me are signs of progress from her.
But it is still only a screen name.
PJ

[Cheshire Gummi]

I'm using my pen/stage name. It's feminine because I'm a cross-dresser. I want to be referred to as Fran.

There are only five or six people who can call me by my birth name. That's a privilege I do not hand out to just anyone.

[sterling12]

Ah, but a lot of people do know me as Joanie! In The Clubs, within my group, various merchants, just a lot of people. But, even for people who are not "out," I think they still need a femme name. For me, there is a definite female persona sharing this body with John. Seems only right she should have a name. I'm sure it is the same for others.

The name Joanie is obvious: John=Joan in female speak. As a kid I was always called Johnny, and Joanie seems a little less formal and far friendlier than Joan.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Jonianne]

.......There is a loneliness in a world where nobody calls you by your name.......

Oh, but that is why I pronounce my femme name - Joni - the same as my real name "Johnny". That way I get called by my femme name all the time. Christian writer "Joni Eareckson Tada" pronounces her name Johnny, too.

[Ballerina]

I'm not partial to names to begin with, but, "Sally" holds sentimental value to me, and it also addresses that I am, in fact, a CDer. I wouldn't care at all if no one mentioned my other name, I just find comfort in the fact that it is there, and it is a part of me.

[Jenniferpl]

I always liked the name and decided to use for this site.

[Jessi57]

I couldn't see dressing without a femme name, at times I wish I had a non-gender birth name.

[BLUE ORCHID]

As I don't venture outside I didn't need a femme name but
last Dec. I joined this forum and needed a screen name
so I thought long and hard to come up something diffrent.
My favorite color is BLUE
My favorite flower is an ORCHID
And That my friends was the begining of Blue Orchid
If and when I venture outside I will use Orchid as my name
.
.................................................. ...............thanks.........ORCHID

[Sally2005]

Its simple...you need a name to register. 'Sally' was taken so I added a few numbers. I like the song Mustang Sally, I got the name from there.

[Tomara]

Mine is pretty simple too , I really never though too much about a feminine name for myself until I joined here at which point I decided to keep it simple and add an (ara) to my male name.
See I told you it was simple.
Tomara

[Karen43]

I actually have duplicate credit cards in my femme name and use them when I am shopping while dressed.

[TGMarla]

Why Did You Give Yourself a Name?

Because "Phillip" (not my real name) just doesn't seem to cut it when I'm en femme.