Questioning and have a headache...

[Alana Beaumont]

Hi everyone,
So, I have been intermittently crossdressing since I was 3 years old but, over this past year, I have been questioning why. In a nutshell, I have always been (and enjoy being) extremely feminine. I adore women's clothing (and hate men's clothing), and I have scarcely have male friends because I relate to women so much better/easier. In addition, I'm gay.

When I'm dressed as a woman, I feel absolutely amazing and thus feel "right." So, what's there to question?

Well, I've been considering transitioning MTF for over a year, because I enjoy being a woman so much, however, I'm absolutely terrified. At times I'm excited about looking (outside) the way I feel (inside)and, other times, I feel like I'm absolutely losing my mind. So, I was just wondering if somebody, who has transitioned (or is currently in the process of transitioning) could tell me if they have ever experienced these feelings and what helped them on their journey. I'm certainly not about to go rushing out to get some "E" any time in the immediate future, but I was just hoping I could get some general advice.
Thanks!
Alana

:eek::daydreaming::eek::daydreaming:

Also, for what its worth. As long as I can remember, if I could snap my fingers and have a wish granted, I would be a woman..

[Shikyo]

Only you can make the decision to transition or not. We can only offer some advice but the final choice is yours. Never forget that.

To me it sounds like you're little confused about the whole matter still. You aren't quite sure about what you want to do. For now you might just want to sit down and think about your situation. Ask yourself these few things:

- Do I want to live as a girl?
- Do I understand what living as a girl will be like?
- Would I fit into the society better as a girl than as a guy?

By asking yourself these questions you should get a better picture of your own life. However, you shouldn't just stick to these questions but experience it yourself. You're unsure about the whole situation so we have to find a way to get your mind clear about this complicated situation. There are few things you could try out to clear your mind.

- Live as a girl for a while. If it isn't possible for you where you live just take off a week and go somewhere where you know no one and be a girl for a week.
- See a therapist. They will be able to help you out and find out your true self.

I can't really say in the end that I was scared of transition or anything. I felt that the choice was right and something I should do. There were things that caused fear in my mind but it wasn't about me making the wrong decision or anything. For me there was no other way than to transition after I had accept my own self.

The situation will not change nor is there a speed limit you have to follow. Take as much time as you need to so that you can be sure that you won't be making a mistake. It's better to go little slower than end up doing something that cannot be reversed anymore. Just be yourself and the answer will come to you eventually, nyaa.

[noeleena]

Hi...
One of the details is . to be dressed as a woman is very different than being one . some of us are if you like . born with both or wired both ways . so its a lot easyer to know from very young . do we have a choice to change , some would say yes we have a choice . okay . did i if i stop breathing then thats a choice. my body will force its self to breath . so really what i am saying is it s a no brainer . i was driven to carry on & ,,,,,live ,,,,,as a woman . yes at 50 i knew i would very strongly . as i would say. that other ...woman said time s up the male side & was to take a rear seat .
I v been out as a woman for 11 years . & its different for many of us . there is no one size fit s all . those of us who are women know inside & some time s some thing happens . & we then change . Oh yes h r t & op s . all a part of the deal . some do some dont . & its not allways early on that it happen s i m one of the later ones . the best part is . I dont have to try & be male yet that is a part of me & i accept that being a andro . is who i am . so being a woman is really me . so its.. can you live true to your self . for the rest of your life . i can .
I can not answer for any one else that must come from with in you . My life. was trying to be a male . well there were some good thing s there yet just not quite right . being a woman is total right . . there s no going back . . going back to what . trying to be some thing that you r not . this is the best part of my life . & being accepted as a woman . being in groups of women . getting on with them . & being a part of them .
Ill tell you this its like a rollacoaster & it s hard . & you could lose heaps. mind wise very hard . for this kid it took 8 years to go through hell & it included our family . its not just about us. you . me . its your family. friends . work mate s . you look out side you r self . then you ask for help . & hope fully you get it if not . be aware its a bloody rough ride .
it s damm hard ....yet its the neat est thing that you go through in becoming who you truely are .
for me
...... a woman .........
... noeleena...

[Stephanie Stephens]

There are no easy answers Alana. Just keep doing what you are doing and things will come together (asking questions and reading). Being gay may seem like an extra whammy but it may just fit into who you really are. I am bisexual and so it makes sense to me that I like to dress as a woman. Good luck Alana.
BTW are you in Humboldt ca?

[Alana Beaumont]

Thanks for all the advice, everyone; I appreciate it! And yes, Stephanie, I'm in humboldt.

[Stephanie Stephens]

Well Alana you live in god's country that's for sure.