so happy/not

[bridget jones]

I was in a mood a few days ago and asked the site to delete my profile and my info....I guess they know me better than I know myself.I have to admit I have been fighting the urge to wear womens clothing since I was about 6 years old.I am questionably heterosexual with homosexual dreams and desires.I often wonder and get sexually arroused thinking about being with a man.I am happy with who I am but I am scared that people close to me will not understand and push me away,because I am more comfortable dressed as a woman.It is strange the way I am so comfortable dressed as a woman as to when I am in mens attire.I feel so alone,I am in desperate need of you girls to re-assure me that what is in my mind is okay.I don't believe it is a choice since I was in my neighbors wash room wearing womens a girls underwear at age 6. I was caught wearing knee highs at 7 years old by my older brother while pretending I was Ginger on Gilligan's Island.Throughout my teen years I went from wearing my sister and mothers clothes and make up to buying my own.I have since bought and worn my own womens attire but the thing that has followed me is the desire to be with a man and having breast,the desire to be with a man is somewhat confusing since I don't want to be gay but at the same time I want to receive him as a woman.I want a vagina,I believe this is my destiny,but again I am scared.I wonder if I am a heterosexual male crossdresser,gay male,or pre-op transexual.I would love to be a woman everyday...make up,nails,clothes,hair,and the thought of him being inside me.I do hope this is not too graphic it's just my thoughs,dreams,and desires.

[kellycan27]

I think what you need to do is seek some professional help. You have a lot going on in your head, and by the sound of it....need help sorting it out. You will find that there a lot of people here willing to dole out advice..but I think your best bet would be to make an appointment with a therapist who deals with gender issues. The only real support I can offer is what I said above, and to try and re-assure you that a lot of have gone through just what you are going through. Good luck, and best wishes

Kelly

[geri-tg.]

I think you need to talk. You have so much to sort out. You will be fine if you take time and do two things talk and listen. Good luck.

[GloriaTutu]

Thank god. i know what youre talking about. i think this place is too advanced. i need to talk to people who are trying to find themselves.

[Carly D.]

I myself am not here very much anymore.. I still dress a little but now I am just not as interested in being here.. that will likely change shortly but for now I have visited three times in the past month.. which is down from at least once A DAY!!

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Bridget,

First and foremost, as Kelly has said, find a reliable, qualified therapist to talk your feeling out with. Many of the girls on this forum have expressed feelings similar to yours, so they are not that unusual. I myself have felt just about all of the feelings that you have and my therapist has been marvelous and wonderful at helping me work through them.

Depending upon your personal reason for dressing, your therapist will assist you in determining what it is, it can be quite normal to dream and wonder about being with a man and what it feels like to be treated like a woman by a man. I myself have wondered these same things and my therapist has helped me to understand, that for me, these thoughts indicate that Nicole is expressing herself and becoming the dominant personality. This works out well for me as I would much rather be Nicole and live as her full time.

Now, this may sound like an easy, simple solution, but it has taken over a year of weekly visits for me to get to this point. As I said, find a good therapist and work this them. Do as they suggest and you will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck..

Nicole