How Long Did It Take to See YOU In the Mirror

[MaiaCalamity]

Its my experience that whenever I look in the mirror when dressed guyish I rarely ever feel like the person staring back is me- but when I'm dressing in the clothes appropriate to the gender I want to be and wearing makeup I can almost see me in that mirror.

So, I ask those that have transitioned, how long did it take you to finally see who you feel you are in the mirror on a regular basis?

[Jessinthesprings]

strange but i feel like both are me, yet neither. the female version might be closer though. This may have to do with me not being full time yet and I'm still getting used to seeing the real me more often.

[Teri Jean]

As I dress daily it seems strange to see the male side in the mirror, I will see protions as I get dressed and put on the makeup but once the wig is on the rest fades away in a puff of smoke(and mirrors, no pun). Once I go 24-7 in a couple weeks this will seem strange to see my male side even more so. Weeeeeee

Huggs Teri

[CharleneT]

It varies ... this morning while slathering lotion on my legs after the shower I glanced over at the mirror and "booM" saw woman. Which surprised me because I was naked - no makeup/clothes etc. Most of the time it is hard for me though. Self doubt and worry about how I appear is a constant battle. Strangely, one of the times when I see me as me the most is coming up my back steps into the house. I see my reflection in the screen door glass and I normally see me as a woman. I think it is the indirectness of it ( maybe just the dirt makes it fuzzy enough to dis-associate my normal reaction to my "image").

It is getting better these days - easier ...

[Scotty]

Unless I'm focused on something and really busy working on something I see the woman IN the guy when I look in the mirror.

It's only when I'm really busy and stop and say "Oh, don't like that look".

But when I too step out of the shower and look across it's like "Whoa".

Some mornings I wake up and feel my breasts rub my arm and it's like "Whoa"...

[dilane]

When I'm getting ready, I see a half and half version of my two selves.

But after I'm out and about, say I'm at a club and go to the ladies' room, or catch an unexpected reflection of myself, I often go "wow" and see Diane only (and hopefully that's how the world sees me!).

[TerryTerri]

I only came to recognize these issues in myself in the last couple of years. A little less than a year ago I started seeing a gender therapist who helped me with some honest truths about myself. When I first started looking in a mirror "for her" I could not see anything that hinted at her. But, now (8 months on hormones helps) I see traces of her when I look for her. Once, without specifically looking for her, I noticed her looking back at me. Think it's part of the self-acceptance stuff with me.
The facts defining this in my life are undeniable to me anymore. I am transgendered. A woman in a man's body. But, fully accepting this in my heart and mind after over 40 years of 'male' programming is not something that happens overnight. Each baby step that I take and everyday I grow within myself with all this and it becomes easier and more natural. I can not predict where the road I am on will lead me exactly. But, The female part of me will no longer fade away, I do not want or will ever let that happen again as I did for so many years when she would appear. The answers about myself concerning being female are making my insides a much more comfortable place. I am understanding more and more why I would feel so fractured inside and slowly those fractures are getting smaller. Anyway, didn't mean to ramble. Seeing her in the mirror is sort of a gage to me of how I'm coming along with this.

[noeleena]

Hi...
For me the (( him & her )) detail has allways been the same its me the person . whether i was dressed male or female . i did not seperate the two . the mirror just showed the out ward side . not how i am wired . being a andro . was what i had to see & putting it all together. now . that took the time . so mirror mirror on the wall who the fiairest of them all . it s not by look s . it s not my charm . it s knowing who you are & accepting your self the way you are ... change s yes & help to be how you see your self & being happy ,
...noeleena...

[akaCathy]

I wore a beard for thirty years and after starting therapy, I knew Cate was under there somewhere. I shaved and was sorely disappointed I didn't look more feminine. As I continued to grow and started dressing more and took a very good makeup class, I finally saw what Cate looks like and I love her and me. Even if I am in drab, I see only me, the feminine me - Cate.

Hugs,

Cate

[Chanicle]

wow... that's eerie... and now when I think about it it makes sense
I used to avoid mirrors because the person looking back frightened me, as if it were a stranger. Sometimes I would stand and stare at the reflection absolutely fasincated... because I knew the person staring back wasn't me.

Now that I've started to transition it's become a bit easier to look at mirrors, as the stranger reflection is starting to look more and more like it should.

I imagine when I start T mirrors will become much more friendly things... :daydreaming:

[Steph2003]

Terri's post says it all!

[Sally24]

I am not transitioning but I dress often and get out alot. When I first started going out, I saw my male self with makeup on in the mirror. After 2 years of steady work with the makeup (and some more internal brain work) in male mode I see Sally without makeup. Now about 4 years down that road I like my look and feel it's finally ME.

97741

[MaiaCalamity]

Thank you all so much for the responses!

Mentally, I realise the person staring back (while not dressed) is 'me'- but its really hard to associate with it. A lot of your responses were really helpful for me.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

I've been or hormones now for 3 1/2 months now and been growing my hair longer. As my breast's grow, as my skin becomes softer, as my face changes ever so slighlty, as my fat changes location I see more and more everyday the woman I want to be be. Eventually I will no longer see Mike, only Kim. Kimberly Marie Kelly :battingeyelashes:

[Alana Beaumont]

Well, I think the closest I've ever come to seeing myself was just a few weeks ago. I've been crossdressing for most of my adult life and most of my early life (teen years are a looong story) and each time I dress I feel closer and closer to perfection. Three weeks ago, I dressed and it clicked; I wasn't happy with my wig, but everything else was exactly as I had been envisioning for so long. I actually started to cry :) The wig problem should be rectified within the next couple of days; I didn't think the style that I wanted existed, then I found it on clearance at paulayoung.com. YAY! Its an amazing feeling to FINALLY see who you've been waiting to see, isn't it?

[TerryTerri]

Terri's post says it all!

That was nice of you to say Steph, Thanks

[Michelle_Sullivan]

So, I ask those that have transitioned, how long did it take you to finally see who you feel you are in the mirror on a regular basis?

After 2 years of medication this is who I see in the mirror:

http://people.sorbs.net/michelle/GalleryData/Others/Michelle/320/me-purple-corset-2.jpg

Yet some days I see a guy in the mirror no matter what I do.

Someone once told me that no matter what I do (including surgery) I will always see the guy side of me when I look in the mirror. Whether that is true or not, I guess only time will tell.

[gillian1968]

My path is a long path, I'm transitioning slowly - changing the parts of me that are less obvious first so that if/when the time is right I have less to do. I've been going out increasingly as Gillian for over 3 years now, but her look has changed with the wigs I've worn.

I've been growing my own hair for almost a year now. About 4 months ago I found a hair stylist, came out to him, and asked for a cut and style that could suit a man or a woman. I haven't looked back.

I style my hair the same, whether presenting as a man or a woman. Nobody has ever commented to me.

I have seen Gillian predominantly in the mirror for several months now.

I just started laser hair removal on my face so Gillian won't have that ugly beard shadow but that will take some time.

I think too that I needed to arrive at this point in my life to give Gillian permission to emerge in the mirror when I wasn't specifically dressing. That it's OK for her to be there all the time. That I'm not diminishing one part of me for another - that it is the same me.

-Gillian

[Jenny Chen]

I see my "real self" every time i get out of the shower and freshly saved. With my Baby face and shoulder length hair pull back i often get mistaken for a girl :daydreaming: But after about 4 hours after shower my beard shadow kicks in and the real me would be gone :cry:, i really should go look into that electrolysis :straightface: