Your kids dressing

[GirlyGirl26]

What do you think you would do if you ever walked in on one of your kinds dressing? If you were cought do you think you would react the same way as the person/people did that found you dressed?

[Ediosa]

My son has walked around in my heels, and when he was even younger, he would wear some of my ex-wife's clothes. We both thought it was cute. One time my ex-wife even said, "He is his father's son". Now, when I see my son trying to walk in my heels, all I tell him is to be careful, because of the heel height. I really haven't thought anything about it. I will talk to him when he's older if he continues. I think it's no big deal with him, cause I already have told him that I wear clothes that are made for women and that I wear them cause it makes me happy and I like them. Plus, I keep telling him to be who he is, become what he wants and if he wants to talk with me about anything, then just ask me. He's an awesome boy.

[Jonianne]

Oh, I would certainly handle it differently than what I imagine would have happen to me when I was a kid, decades ago. My kids know I am a crossdresser and although I'm sure it would be an embarrassing moment, I believe they know that I am someone that loves and accepts them just as they are. If they wanted to talk, I would certainly encourage communication and offer to talk about it. Kids NEED to feel love and acceptance from their parents. Particulars can be worked out.

[5150 Girl]

Well,, the only kids I have are step kids. And the're all big o'l rednecks.
How some ever... I know I'd be cool with them in the long run. The youngest one though, I'd tease him a bit at first, just cause that's the way we are.
I think I would do what i could to help them along on their "journy"

[karennjcd]

Very interesting topic, one I was considering posing too.

What if I caught my teenage son dressing in my clothes? Would I be a hypocrite and tell him it's wrong? Probably not. I mean, since I'm the only parent in the home, and since I haven't had female companionship since his mother left, it would be obvious to him whose clothes they are.

Probably I'd have no choice but to just let him continue... we're probably the same size now anyhow.. :)

[Stephanie Miller]

I guess if I had a son and walked in on him wearing a cute dress and heels I'd be very mad and say something like " Dadgumit kid take that off right now! I paid good money for it and I've seen how you treat your own clothes. If you want your own - just say so!" :heehee:

BUT...... if it was my daughter (which I have two of ) I caught wearing my things, it would be a different speach... "make sure you put that flannel shirt back before I need it for work".
Wait a minute... I DID have to say that to them :Angry3:

[Angelofsomekind]

I would be mad! I want them to tell me so I can help them with it. But when we have kids we plan on letting them know about it right from the start, so I can't see them hiding it from us.

[Deborah Jane]

Son...Take off that dress
Son...Take off those heels
Son...Take off those tights

And if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, i'll sign you up to Crossdressers.com :)

[Kathi Lake]

I would indeed be more forgiving, more empathetic and more tactful than my parents were.

I would make sure to tell him that he was doing nothing wrong - hopefully sparing him the years of anger, shame and bitterness that I had experienced. However, I would definitely let him know to seriously search himself and ensure that he wanted to go down that path. I would honestly tell him to avoid it if he could. Even for all the joy it has brought me, it has also brought me pain as well. As a parent, I would spare him from as much pain as I could.

Kathi

[Josie M]

I've actually thought about this....and I guess I'm with Kathi

Honestly, I'd support him and let him know he's most definitely "not alone", but I'd be upset as well. Crossdressing comes with a lot of baggage and, even though I'd be OK with him if he turned out to be a crossdresser (or whatever else for that matter), I would be concerned about all the bigoted a-holes of the world he might have to deal with.

If it turns out he's a CD, that's OK, but if he doesn't have to deal with this, that's OK too.

[trannie T]

Billy! What are you doing in daddy's dress?

[Kara Connor]

Billy! What are you doing in daddy's dress?

Brilliant! Just been chuckling top myself about your comment :)

also, perhaps

"Son, take that makeup off immediately! The foundation is clearly wrong for your skin tone. Let's have a father-son day at the MAC store ..." etc. etc.

[CharlotteW]

My 7 year old son has a penchant for nylon clothes, namely tights and a certain swim suit. We allow him to continue wearing them but we get him to keep it private, just between him, his mum and myself to prevent ridicule.

[karennjcd]

I guess this also begs the question, if we did catch a son doing what we do, was the trait inherited genetically from us?

[JulieC]

I guess this also begs the question, if we did catch a son doing what we do, was the trait inherited genetically from us?

Nobody knows if crossdressing is genetic or not. The whole transgendered arena is almost a third rail of psychological research. Few people are willing to touch it. There might be a genetic tie, but who knows? :idontknow:

I think the question of how to respond to a child crossdressing falls into a more general category of how to respond to a child doing something that is not socially generally accepted.

It's a moment to provide some education on what society expects of us, to educate on those expectations while making it clear that the expectations should never be shackles. We are permitted to be who we are, but we have to take into account society's reaction to it. We have to be responsible to ourselves; wary of danger, embracing of differences, and accepting of ourselves. We are who we are.

Parents, I think, have an obligation to teach their children how to succeed in the society they live in.

Crossdressing as a topic has come up with my kids, mainly because of Klinger in M*A*S*H (and not with respect to me, they don't know and won't at least until they are adults). My kids understand that most men do not wear dresses, heels, etc. but that there's nothing wrong with doing so. We are all different, and it is good that we are so.

[gender_blender]

What do you think you would do if you ever walked in on one of your kinds dressing? If you were cought do you think you would react the same way as the person/people did that found you dressed?

Well, I wouldn't want my kids walking around naked... So, clothing is probably required.

[cindym5_04]

I think I'd be quite understanding and talk to him about it. I definitely would handle things different than my mom did. I'm not going to tell him that crossdressing is worse than killing people, molesting kids, and beating women. I'm also not going to feel like I've "failed as a parent" nor make him feel like the worst person on the face of the planet.

[Angelofsomekind]

I always thought it would be interesting if I have a boy to keep a pair of satin panties in his drawer, or a dress in his closet, just to see if he would ever wear them, or prefer to wear them without anyone saying anything about it.

[Jaclyn NM]

I'm sure I would be much more understanding and supportive than my mom was when she caught me. I know what it's like to be a crossdresser, and reguadless of society, I know that there is nothing wrong with it. It's just who we are!

[Randee]

Charlotte's opinions appear to be closest to my own so far.

I have thought about what I think would be the best way to handle this. He would not need to know I dress, but I could use my insight to show a bit more understanding than I thought I would receive if caught. He would probably be wearing something of his sister's when he got caught. I would have to make him understand that, even though our home was a safe place for him to experiment with wearing whatever he was curious to try, it was absolutely unacceptable for him to dress in his sister's clothes. So what he was dressed in from his sister's wardrobe was now his and he would be expected to change into them whenever he was home after school and on weekends until he replaced his sister's clothes that now belonged to him. Anything else that he admitted to wearing would be his also to replace and would be added to his wardrobe as well. This would probably keep him dressing everyday for a couple of weeks, and by then he would either love dressing in his girly clothing or have his fill of it. Since he had been previously sneaking into his sisters clothing, his routine would be to get up in the morning and make his bed, then lay out his outfit he would be changing into from his newly acquired girly wardrobe. For me that would have meant leaving a black leotard and tights from my sister's dance bag and a pair of silky panties laying out on my bed to await my return. Or perhaps a one piece swimsuit and pantyhose. He would then have to announce what he would be changing into when he returned home. I think he would prefer to choose for himself, buy if he did not do that, his sisters or mother could choose what he was to wear and put it out on his bed to change into.

This would give us plenty of opportunities to talk about his dressing choices. He would be allowed to try anything he was curious about around the house be it not just clothing, but also makeup, nails, hair, shaving if he liked. I would make him understand that he was safe to dress any way he wanted around the home without criticism. It's only clothes, after all. But I would make sure he understood that he would be subjecting himself to criticism when he dressed in some things outside the house, aside of unisex items. His mom and sisters could take him shopping to replace their clothing items lost to him, and pick out some other garments for himself.

I think this would feed his desire as much as he wanted without the criticism and guilt that most of us feared. Many boys are curious about girls clothing, maybe all. Make it easy and it might pass. Or he might keep wearing what he wants when he wants like so many of us.

Has anyone experienced this kind of handling for real? Did it work out like this or differently?

[Ralph]

Well, I tried telling my daughter that she risked public ridicule if she continues to wear jeans and t-shirts and other "male only" clothing (rolls eyes)...

Seriously, first off I would apologize like crazy for walking in, since we ALL know not to walk in to someone's room when their door is closed. Since he knows the clothes I wear around the house don't come from the men's side of the store I probably wouldn't need to ask him if he has any questions. But most important I would talk to him about the risks/benefits of going your own way.

We actually did have a similar talk several years ago, not about crossdressing about about standing out as different in general. I said there are times when it's in your best interest to just blend in and not get noticed, and times when you are better off beating your own drum and public opinion be damned... BUT if you go that way you have to be prepared for whatever consequences society might throw at you, from loss of friendship to mocking to divorce. Only you can decide how much you're willing to pay to be yourself -- and the more different you are from society's norms, the higher that cost will be.

[Stephenie]

Well, one of my 7 yr olds likes to wear his mom's shoes. High heals and pumps, and his sister's pink cowboy boots. I don't have any problem but jealesy:daydreaming:,my feet are to big. Last night his mother said I should talk to him about it. I told her I didn't see an issue. Then turned around so I did not have to see her reaction. He is a identical twin and his brother complained about him wearing "girl's stuff" afew weeks ago. I told him that there wasn't anything wrong with it. And that he was just playing around. I do tell him that he can't wear them to the store.

[Carol A]

You know I'm not sure what I would have done if I walked in on one of my son's if he was dressed. I can still remember the day my mother walked in on me (long Story). I just don't know, I think we would have had to just sit down and find out what and why.:hugs: