Here goes nothin! First visit with my GP tomo, I am soooo happy, but what now?!

[HollyWolly]

I have never been more giddy in my life, a bit nervous, but yes still...giddy!

Tomorrow I've got my first appointment with my GP (or any health professional for that matter) to finally start doing something to match mind and body

I'm seeing him in hopes of starting hormones ASAP. I'd like to start them right away, as in leave with a prescription on paper, but I dunno how it works. I don't need to "figure out" if this is what I want to do or to ponder if I have GD, I've already done that my entire life so hopefully there is no need for further delay.

The reason I am seemingly suddenly wanting to start is that I finally had the courage to tell my parents the truth about myself the other day, and now I'm just more determined then ever to turn my life around...AT LAST! It took my entire life to work up the courage to do that, and now that I did it I am rearing to go!

Life has been pretty bad, I've come so close to just ending it all on a few occasions, but now I can't describe what I feel! For my entire life I would imagine the future and never be able to see happiness coming. Now I think of the future and it even makes me happy right now! I feel like I can do anything! I am finally so close to being free , and I never imagined how good it would feel!!!

I know finally fixing my body is not a magical key to eternal happiness, but I will definitely be a lot happier in general, and that will spill over into everything I do. I will finally be free of the dark cloud that followed me everywhere I went, and that at times cast its shadow onto those around me. I will finally be able to be the person I really am, and that goes a long way.

So, sorry about the rambling!... I have a few questions:

1) So what should I tell the GP, what's his job in this...is he there to prescribe hormones or does he just refer me to someone else? Am I starting at the right place?

2)Is there any chance I could get a prescription within, say, a week or are hormones much harder to get than that?

3) Is there anything else I should be doing right now? I've dreamed about this day for so long!

I'm ready to run to my future, but now I'm like "Oh yeah....errr...which way do I run?!" :D

[CharleneT]

1) So what should I tell the GP, what's his job in this...is he there to prescribe hormones or does he just refer me to someone else? Am I starting at the right place?

2)Is there any chance I could get a prescription within, say, a week or are hormones much harder to get than that?

3) Is there anything else I should be doing right now? I've dreamed about this day for so long!

I'm ready to run to my future, but now I'm like "Oh yeah....errr...which way do I run?!" :D

Well, there are many ways to start. I think in most cases folks go to a therapist first. If they diagnose you with GID then they *may* refer you to a doctor for hormones. Often it is a endocrine specialist, but it doesn't have to be. Your doctors reaction could be anywhere from "sure" to "not until you have a letter..." -- in some cases if they are not comfortable with the whole idea, they may refer you to another doc. More than likely she/he will want to see a letter from a therapist. If anything, it is a legal protection for the doctor that writes out the script(s). How much involvement they want in the process varies a lot.

The speed at which the doc writes scripts out would depend on whether she/he believes it needs to be done for your better health. In terms of "how fast", getting them is a same day thing once you have a script - unless you go thru a pharmacy in another state or the like ( which I do for monetary reasons ). Then there could be a week or so delay. They are just like any other drugs, you just go to your preferred Pharmacy and pay.

As for what else you might be doing, I guess I would start with, what have you done ?

Good luck with your appt. ! !

Charlene

[GypsyKaren]

It really depends on the doctor, some want a recommendation letter from a therapist, some will refer you to an endocrinologist, and you can expect to have blood tests done before you get a prescription.

Karen :g1:

[Melissa A.]

Woah, there. No one Empathizes with your feelings more than me, and for that matter, everyone here. But your questions indicate to me that you've done scant, if any research about your own condition. Despite the fact that we allow people to do all kinds of wierd things to their bodies(Lyposuction, plastic surgery, unregulated botox parties, gastro-intestinal surgery, etc...), Say you are TS and need to be on hormones, and suddenly everyone wants to figure out if you're nuts, first. I am not a huge fan of the standards of care for the transsexual condition, foremost because there is an inherent assumption in starting with therapy, that being TS has anything to do with mental illness. but the fact remains that they do exist.

Generally, as has already been said, you will need to find a therapist. Hopefully, you live where you can find one experienced with Gender Identity Disorder. Please be careful, there, or you may be in for months or more of roadblocks and skeptisism. This is a real problem, especially away from urban areas.

The guideline for therapy, before one may be "diagnosed" as transsexual is a minimum of three months. However, the standards are not as rigid as they once were, at least in the U.S. I know people who have gotten approval after one visit. But don't count on it. Expect your therapist to have you fill out a long worksheet, with alot of personal questions, about you, your family, and your history. Your therapist, if he or she has experience, will probably then refer you to an endocrinologist who works with transwomen, as well as genetically born women.

My therapist was actually a Liscensed Clinical Social Worker(LCSW) who, luckilly enough, also happens to be a nationally recognised expert and author in this field. But I still waited 3-4 months before she agreed I should transition and start Hormone Replacement therapy. My first endo (after an agonizing 3 month wait for an appointment!) was an amazingly empathetic woman who was of the opinion that I am an adult and responsible for my own decisions. She wrote me my scripts durring my first visit, but also had me go and get blood work done, right away.

So, that's what you can expect, or something close to that. If you hook up with the right people, it can be a relatively frustration-free experience. But I know people who have gone through some particularly long and drawn-out nightmares, so be careful. My advice, for what it's worth, is to network with other transitioning folks in your area through support groups and social organizations and get referals from them. Also, If you aren't already presenting as female in most situations, get used to it. medical and mental health proffessionals will take you much more seriously.

It's not that I am opposed to therapy. I'm all for it. Transsexuals in particular often need guidance in dealing with who they are, dealing with family and friends, and all the other things our culture dumps on us for years before we find the courage and/or desperation to take action. It's just that I believe that this is a physical condition, not a mental one. But a good therapist is invaluable. And you have to have one, anyway.

Hey, with a whole lotta luck, your doc will see you for who you are and prescribe you what you need, and you won't have to listen to our advice. Just don't get your hopes up, hunny. Best of luck to you.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[BreenaDion]

Well HollyWolly, welcome to the community. Sit back get Your thoughts together an first of all find some patience. Then the next step you need to do is find some patience, oh did I say patience yes I did an for a very good reason. Your Mind is racing to fast, SLOW down . Been their done that like every one else. If you dont find patience you probibly have a mental brake down of some kind. Lets not go there ok.

Generally this first step is to see your Primary care Physician an tell the DR you are Transgender an have been all your life. You Need to see a Gender Specialist to see if you are a true Transsexual an futher treament is warranted. That might be according to your age . Younger folks go up to a year before hormones, old can be a little as a month.

Then its the trip to the Endocrinologist with your letter fron a gender specialist to be put on hormones. This first vist is blood work an normal information you need to know. Next vist cold be 2 months later, depends on DR.

When you get to ur PCP and go forward it cold be 6 months before you start the hormones. Thats why I said find some patience an keep it.

Also read up on Transition , will help you find yourself an carm down.

With Warmest Fealings Breena:love:

[HollyWolly]

Ok, well thank you all for some very good advice, I will take it. I cancelled my apt with my GP and made one with a therapist who works with GID.

Melissa, so you think I should go to the session fully female? It's still a bit tough by myself in public as I still look boyish (which is why I would like to start hormones to make it easier on me), but if it will help me get started sooner then I am all for it. Please let me know if I need to!

So, I want to explain more about me too...

I am 27 now, and I've been aware of my condition since my absolute earliest memory. I've read everything you can imagine over years and years and years. Have I studied? My entire life to date has essentially been preparing for this time! :o I've been through emotional hell and back, as I'm sure most girls have.

This isn't something I suddenly decided to do, so why the urgency? I finally told my friends and family. Now that they know there's nothing in the way. I just want to get on with things more than ever. Every day wasted is a day my body further betrays me. I'm only getting older, and the sooner I can get on with this then the sooner I may wake up some day and be the real me.

So if I seem a lil excited, well I am! I am excited for what the future holds. A life, a real life in which I may find happiness and love. No more lying, no more faking...just genuine me! :daydreaming:

I know it's a long and arduous road, but I'm soooo ready for it!! :D

[sherri52]

What you said here is a good start to say to the doctor, but without past counciling he is most likely only going to refer you to one.

[BreenaDion]

Sounds like a plan holly. Glad your getting in the right frame of mind. No need to dress female at first , thats what the sessions are for. Dress normally as you do every day so to feal comfortable an relaxed. Thats the key, be commited to your journey not some crazed CD.

The dressing thing can come along after the hormones take effect , thats fine. Do in graduation of steps. Dont get hooked up in going into a fetish bad sign. Just dress to fit in an be one of the girls, unless you want to draw attention to yourself.

Have fun holly with your new life, you still got decades in front of you so dont push it. Let it come in on its own way. Patience :) you could be lucky an get there soon enough.


Love Breena:love:

[HollyWolly]

What you said here is a good start to say to the doctor, but without past counciling he is most likely only going to refer you to one.

Seeing a therapist who works with GID tomorrow at 4pm! Yeah, forget my GP, he's an old grump anyhow and knowing him I'd guess he's quite bigoted.

Anyhow she [the therapist] seems really nice! I left her a voicemail as Holly, and when she got back to me I had to talk as William . She seemed to completely understand.

By the way I've gotten to sounding 100% perfectly normal as a female so far as the voice goes...after practising for a mere 4 years! I often make my phone calls as Holly just because it warms my heart to be ma'amed. God it warms my heart.


Dress normally as you do every day so to feal comfortable an relaxed. Thats the key, be commited to your journey not some crazed CD.

Oh no! See I already emailed her saying this!! I hope it's okay!! :sad:


"Hi Linda,

I have a question for you. I realise you have a professional office setting and I don't know if it's proper to attend our sessions as "myself" or as "William". It's still fairly hard for me to pass, and with time I hope to change that, yet despite the discomfort of others' occasional glares toward me I still feel more comfortable as myself, if you understand what I'm saying.

However sometimes I may not have a choice, as I'm looking for work and have to dress as the world expects a 27 year old male to dress. It can be frustrating.

Well, please let me know.
-Holly/Will"


As far as dressing goes, you're right it's not a fetish to me whatsoever. My favourite time to dress is at home when I'm relaxing antd watching TV, ya know, when I get to really be myself.

However I would hope it is no requirement by a therapist that I must dress up prior to being able to pass reasonably. I know who I am, I am 100% woman whether or not I'm wearing fake boobs and a wig. It's not the items that define me, I am me either way!

I love this place. You are all so sweet and encouraging, I really don't know how I'd do without y'all! Thank you so much, you all mean so much to me!:)

[Jessinthesprings]

Melissa, so you think I should go to the session fully female? It's still a bit tough by myself in public as I still look boyish (which is why I would like to start hormones to make it easier on me), but if it will help me get started sooner then I am all for it. Please let me know if I need to!

The number one thing to take into consideration is to do what is comfortable. However, I go to a therepist who does not specifically cater to GID and neither does her office, but I have always been treated with respect and warm smiles from her and the other therepists in the office while dressed.

Here's something you should take into consideration. If you are seriouse about a full transition you'll have to go out dressed sometime and you won't look much different then than you do now. It's something you'll have to get used to.

[HollyWolly]

The number one thing to take into consideration is to do what is comfortable. However, I go to a therepist who does not specifically cater to GID and neither does her office, but I have always been treated with respect and warm smiles from her and the other therepists in the office while dressed.

Here's something you should take into consideration. If you are seriouse about a full transition you'll have to go out dressed sometime and you won't look much different then than you do now. It's something you'll have to get used to.

Thanks so much Jess, I like you already! :).You're like me, save the fluff and tell it how it is. Right now I don't need the fluff, that's for sure. I already know who, and why doesn't matter, so now I need to know what, when,and how as it really is so can make a game plan and face it.

What you said about transition, about looking not much different, you are right. I wish it were not so, and with time it won't be, but there will likely be a period of a couple of years where I still have a beardy shadow, still have my ugly nose... etc. I am sure that with time (and money, sigh) I will take care of everything, but you are right.

I guess that's just part of this grand show of life huh? If we want something bad enough we have to do what it takes. I know what I want...no what I need...to do if I'm ever to make it past 30 years of age. I just can't live this lie anymore. Enough is enough. God (or whatever is out there) gave us the ability to ACT and, dammit, I am going to take that ability and finally carve out the life I deserve on this rock.

It is my time now, and I guess it won't necessarily be a pretty little picnic. I will heed the warning of your sobering words and prepare myself as best I can, then the rest I'll have to deal with through mother experience herself.

Thanks so much big sis. I look up to you, and you kinda gave me the kick in the bum I needed to snap me back.

[stacie]

Your therapist will probably need to see you on a regular bases for at lease three months, Plus they will have your write about your life and feelings and they will also have you come out to your family 'as you have already done' before they sign a letter for hrt. It's a lot of hard work with a lot of ups and downs but in the end its worth it. But this journy will never end even after your body transitions.

P.S. My therapist is Michele Omara. She is a great therapist and I hope yours is also a good one.

[Melissa A.]

Melissa, so you think I should go to the session fully female? It's still a bit tough by myself in public as I still look boyish (which is why I would like to start hormones to make it easier on me), but if it will help me get started sooner then I am all for it. Please let me know if I need to!

I would say it's a good idea. But Jesse is correct. You ought to do what makes you comfortable. She's also right when she says you have to get out there eventually. I do understand the fear involved if you haven't presented female in public alot. We've all been there. I remember sitting in my car, scared to death to open the door! That seems so far removed from my life, now. By the time I started therapy, however, I had forced myself to be used to it. And you do get used to it. No matter what you look like. I'm less concerned with passing than simply looking and dressing nicely. I'm mostly a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl, but you can do that and look very nice. In the beginning, it's kind of hard to believe you could ever not care about passing, but it happens. To almost all of us. But it is a process. I understand that.

My advice about presenting female actually came from my therapist, originally. I aked the very same question, before I went to my first Dr. appt. She said pretty much what I told you. You will be taken more seriously if you show that you are serious about, and comfortable, presenting female. I wore a pair of breastforms and a wig for quite a while, until just this past spring. There isn't any shame in that. we do what we have to do. You're obviously ready and I am sorry I got the mistaken impression that you haven't educated yourself. All the luck and strength in the world to you, hunny. Let us know how ya do.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Carole Cross]

Hi Holly, if you are not used to presenting as female in public I would suggest looking for a local support group who hold regular meetings. This way you can meet others like yourself and possibly make some new friends. In most cases you can go to your first meeting in male mode to check the place out. You will also need to develop a thick skin because you will get comments from some people but it is not as bad as you think it may be amd this is what we all have to go through, no matter how well we pass. In time you will become more comfortable presenting as female and you may not be prescribed hormones until you are.
I was in a similar situation to you in January, but now I regularly go out presenting as female, even when doing my weekly shopping. I am no yet on hormones and I do not pass very well, but I don't care what others think because I am just being myself.