releasing emotions

[Stephenie]

Since I has old enough to reason I have had to hide my emotions. First from my family, they did not think that a boy should show emotions. Then from the world at large for the same reason. Now that I have hidden and repressed them for so long I do not have a clue as to how to release them or how they might come out.

I imagine that a lot of you girls had to go or are going though this also.

How do I do this and what can I expect from letting them out?

[Steph2003]

Hi Stephanie -

Since seeing a GT, my emotions have just exploded! (and I'm not on HRT yet!)

My GT said that this was probably due to my finally addressing my issues and being "free" to express those emotions.

I've always gotten emotional easily, so being more sensative than I was before just seems alike another step in the right direction.

Steph

[Kaitlyn Michele]

It's natural....You are a woman on the inside..she knows what to do...you just have to let her do her thing

most likely you will cry....you will sob, you may wail....it doesnt feel good but it feels right and for me it was a flood....are you doing HRT? that is often the gas on the fire..

there were times i was driving and i had to pull over the side of the road in tears...i was at work once and i had to run out (while trying to keep my shit together in my blue pinstripe suit) to hide and weep...

everybody is different....lots of girls say go see a sad movie, but i still havent cried at a movie since "Bang the Drum Slowly", my crying is about either my kids, or some stupid thing like cutting myself shaving...heh

[sherri52]

Your a girl just let it happen. We can all use a good cry

[Sammy777]

Oh don't worry.

You don't have to find your emotions.........

They WILL find you! :D

Once you have accepted who you are it is like handing in your 2 weeks notice to the male population. :lol2:

Basically, once you realize that yes you are a woman and yes woman can and will cry over the most unexpected things and that it is perfectly ok to do just that, then your emotions will made a mad dash for top and will explode like a volcano over the tiny village below it.

When they strike, just keep in mind that is OK and that you no longer have to suppress them and just let them flow. :D

[Melissa A.]

there were times i was driving and i had to pull over the side of the road in tears...

So I'm not the only one. *whew* :)

It's usually not really any event with me, just when I'm thinking about stuff, or sometimes a song. I know it's a cliche', but it IS very therapeutic, and contributes to better mental health, in my opinion.

And yes, Stephenie. I didn't allow myself to feel anything for a long, long time. It feels good, all over, to live with my emotions right there, rather than buried so deep you don't know they exist or even what they are. My soul is better off for it. It'll happen for you. I'm sure of that.

Just watch the eye makeup.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Stephenie]

Thanks girls,

No, I'm not on HRT(yet). I am still in a situation that will not let me. But I can feel them trying to get out more now that I have excepted the truth. It has always been hard to not cry when watching a "chick flick" and was been embaressing at times. Can't always have something in your eye.

Though crying is not the only thing. The feelings that I had when walking one/any of my babies most of the night because they were sick, that is something that I will charish forever. Could never discribe to my wife how it felt so good and right to sooth and comfort them, I would have done it for weeks if they had needed it.

And I can not watch a movie about child abuse or rape with out getting so worked up inside that I have to leave.

[Hope]

How do you do it?

Well, don't think that just because you are a girl that you it will come naturally. I know LOTS of girls, GG and otherwise who walk around as clueless repressed bundles of nerves.

It starts with being aware of one's own emotions. That might sound absurd, but those years of hiding emotions from others teach you to effectively hide them from yourself as well. One thing you can do is to schedule times during your day to stop what you are doing for a few moments and pay attention to your body and your mind. Is your body tense? What is causing that? Does one part of your body feel different from the others? Why is that? What is your body trying to tell you. Are you experiencing emotions? What emotions are they? Where do they come from?

This becomes particularly critical to do when interacting with others so that you can be in control of your body and have an awareness of your situation and what is motivating you rather than just reacting according to the ways you have always done. Those ruts can be difficult to work our way out of, or even see.

Once you are aware of your emotions - the next step is identifying where they are coming from. From there it is identifying what triggers those emotions - one way to do that is to explore and try to remember the first time you have felt that particular emotion, and try to recall what was happening, who was involved, what was going on, what happened to you as a result et.al.

What to expect?

In the short term, like some of the other girls have suggested - explosions. You can't keep a lid on a pressure cooker indefinitely and not expect to have some pressure build up. You should expect that pressure to be powerful sometimes when it is released. The nature of those explosions, and the frequency and regularity and length of their reoccurrence will have to do with how well you do with identifying and resolving the garbage that led to those emotions in the first place.

In the long term, you should expect to be much happier, calmer, less afraid and feeling more in control about life in general and your relationships in particular. It's good stuff. It's hard stuff, but it's what life is about.

Why yes, this is tricky work. Which is why it is a great idea to have the help of a professional to show you the way, and show you how to avoid the pitfalls. VERY VERY VERY few people can mange to do it on their own. The guidance of good psychologist is almost a must.

[Jenny Chen]

In a way i am in the same boat as you, though i am a tad different. i don't show my emotion when other are around, but when i am alone it come out on it's own. so I just went wiht the flow and see how this pans out.

[Stephenie]

Thank you Hope,

You seem to have a gasp on things. I will send some time today thinking about your post.