I (finally) told my wife

[DeniseCA]

Well, I finally did it. After a couple of years on this site, and much encouragement both in general on the site and from a few friends I've made here, I finally took the plunge and told my wife of 9+ years about my crossdressing.

While there are tons of resources on this site I'd like to especially thank Marla for her post "How to tell your partner" (that post is closed or I would have thanked her there!). It's essentially a guidebook and it shows enormous understanding both of "my" side and my wife's.

Anyway, I love her very much and although this has been a big shock to her, she loves me too and we are working on it. Very slow going here at first, I'm not sure when (or if) she will be ready to see me dressed, but it feels so wonderful not having to hide anymore. Notwithstanding the circumstances not being what she would have chosen, there has been a hidden blessing in that we have had a level of deep conversations and vulnerability that we've probably never had before.

So while this story is still being written, I wanted to say thanks to everyone on this site for their encouragement. For those of you that have healthy, open relationships with your wives involving your crossdressing, let me say that you are an inspiration to so many of us.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now, but I guess I just wanted to say thanks!!

Denise

[Sheila]

to both of you, you for being brave enough to finally open up and for your wife for her understanding.

I hope that this is the start of a new and shared journey that you will be able to enjoy together for many many years :hugs:

[Dana]

Way to go and its really the only way to go.

Its not going to go away ~ its not!

You are what you are!

You are who are you are!

And that's just the way it is.

I've fought it all my life.

It lead me to do my twenty in the Marines.

Attempting to validate my masculinity.

I did not want to be who and what I am ~ the person that I am.

I wanted to be what society and cultural dictated that I was suppose to be?

But that's not me.

Who society and culture says I should be?

Shouldn't exsist?

A crossdressing heterosexual male?

[Daintre]

Congratulations Denise, it has taken courage to do this and I am so happy for you. I hope that you and your SO keep the lines of communications open.

[Sarah_GG]

Congratulations! Can you direct your wife to this site where she can get the support she needs and answers to her many questions, concerns and worries.

And watch that old pink fog! :love:

[Michelle S]

Congratulations and good luck to you both.

[TJ Tresa]

Congradulations, it is always better for the spose or SO to know about our other side. Haveing an accepting partner is very good. Remember to take it slow and give her time to adjust to the situation. Maybe the two of you can have a girl's night before long. You might think about getting dressed and fixing supper for her, waitin gon her hand and foot for one night, tell her that she has been such a good wife that you wanted tobe her wife for one night and repay her just a litle bit. Just an idea, good luck.

[carrie-ann]

Congrats to you both. I agree take it slow. My wife was my best friend before we got married so she already new. I'm full time now and I love it.

[Di]

Wonderful!! Maybe tell her about us in Fab alot of the ladies say how much it helped talking to other GG's that give them insight and understanding.

[Rebecca Jayne]

No doubt you feel a real load off your shoulders
that you had in keeping a secret like this.

A successful marriage is about communicating openly
Which you have done.
Now keep those line of communication open, both of you.

I'm very happy for you.

["Mary"]

Big relief, Huh? Go slow - I can recommend the housekeeper routine as an early step. Best wishes and good luck.

[Sandra]

Lovely news to hear :D

Just keep the lines of communication open and don't let that pink fog creep in....and as a few of the GGs has suggested maybe tell her about the FAB forum we have here.

[Christine Rugby]

Congratulations! I know this is a big deal, because my SO just recently came out to me and I joined this website to help me and her work through things! Please do encourage her to join--she will find so much insight and help.

For you, even though I don't know you personally, I am proud of you and your decision. It takes strength, love and understanding. You will both need this going forward. It will be rocky, but if she loves you, I believe you will work it out.

Wonderful and I will be sending you good thoughts in the future!

[Kitty Sue]

Wow. Good for telling her. I hope she will come to understand that this is something she does not have to deal with alone. Have you given her any information on where she can get support? She may find support groups and the like beneficial?

[Andy66]

Yay! Good for you! Honesty is very important to women, probably more than most men realize.

[Marcia Blue]

Congratulations, Denise. I wish both of you the best.

[sissystephanie]

[QUOTE]Marcia, Congratulations, Denise. I wish both of you the best. /QUOTE]

Denise, I can only echo what Marcia has said so well. I will add that I told my late wife before we were married and she was fully supportive for the 49+ years we had together. One reason was that I told her at the very beginning that I had no desire to become a woman, and would always be her man no matter what clothes I was wearing. We even went out as two girls on occasion, and had a lot of fun. As advised by others, go slow with your wife and don't try to push her into accepting things just because YOU want it to happen. Above all, keep the communication lines open between the two of you!!:hugs::hugs:

[KayC]

I'm glad you finally told her, I'm sure it feels good to have that out. She probably has a lot of questions and may be scared or have ups and downs with it until she gets used to the idea...as has been suggested, have her get her ten posts in and then apply to the FAB section. It has made a real difference to me and my partner.