How do you brooch the subject?

[claire_hollinger]

I understand her needing time to come to terms with my crossdressing, but its been 6 months and she still doesnt want to see me dressed at all. She even handed down some of her clothes that she didnt want anymore (lol which i admit i need), but really my biggest weakness in passing is my make-up. I dont know, i just want her to be a little more involved....but if she cant do that, she needs to give me more time by myself....im just venting....fear my frustration (grr arrg)

[Di]

Well less than four months ago you said this

k, so my wife found out, and actually found this site in the history and joined it.........talked with a lot of people about my crossdressing and doing research. When she finally brought it up (I am well aware that it should have been me who brought it up, but I'm not perfect and just couldnt gather enough courage), she was well educated about it and willing to work with me within boundaries that were acceptable to her. She even offered to help with make-up and such (I'm horrible) when she felt more comfortable. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who talked with her (I have no clue who you are, and you might not either, but thank you anyway)

so I would say give her the space and time she needs...you had...what 20 yrs of feeling comfortable with yourself.....and she has had a few months after finding out...give it time...do not push her so she will resent it....................
maybe tell her you need more time to dress.....how is she supposed to know if you do not speak up?

[Karren H]

Listen to the pretty lady!! Di knows what she's talkign about!!

[Round Robin]

She needs more time. I have seen some threads that say they have know for many years and still have ups and downs.

[Marcia Blue]

My wife has no desire to see me dressed. She will go shopping with in drab, pick up cosmetics for me, and will let me sleep in gown and panties. I am ok with things they way they are. Pushing my wife would not be a great idea.

I think you should take the slow road and wait with your wife also. She might or might not come around. At least she has not gone running into the night.

[claire_hollinger]

i do understand all that, and dont want to push her at all, and am a little afraid of bringing it up and sounding pushy....i know its hard for her, and i have a tendency to get somewhat defensive (not because i feel bad about dressing. I personally dont care what other people think, but because her opinion specifically matters to me).

[Sandra]

Six months is not very long, it may seem a long time to you but to her,it's probably not. She still needs time to adjust and to let all of it sink in.

Tell her that you'd like to sit and have a chat with her about it, do your best not to sound pushy, because if you do then she might just clam up more and both of you will get nowhere.

[Sheila]

Hun, the fact that your wife has given you some of her clothes, has joined up here, and not run screaming into the night speaks volumes ........... trust me some partners come nowhere near that comfort level ....... heck some of us who have been involved in the lifestyle and been supporting in a big way turn round one day and say "no More" .... WHY, cos u push and push and push and push, always wanting just that tiny step further, until they feel that all that is important is your dressing ........... she knows, she is trying in her own way to work this out, give her time, 6 months really is not long ........ how long have you known and yet you are still not comfortable with it all ........... you love her, she loves you, don't do anything to make her feel unwanted except as an accepting partner ............ trust me that feeling hurts and badly:sad:

[sherri52]

Claire try to get her to chek out this site. After she posts 10 times she can join one of the GG forums. She may get a little more understanding of how you feel

[sissystephanie]

i do understand all that, and dont want to push her at all, and am a little afraid of bringing it up and sounding pushy....i know its hard for her, and i have a tendency to get somewhat defensive (not because i feel bad about dressing. I personally dont care what other people think, but because her opinion specifically matters to me).

Claire, as the others have said almost unamimously, BACK OFF!! Give her some more time to become comfortable with the fact that her MALE husband wants to dress like a female! How would you feel if she decided all of a sudden that she wanted to dress entirely like a man? You probably would not like it at all!

Bringing it up right now Is Being Pushy, and could cause some problems. Just take it slow and easy. After all, by giving you some of her clothing she has already shown that she is tolerant of your CD activities. Let her set the pace for future development! Keep the communication lines open, but not in a pushy way!