How many of you have successfully led a secret life of crossdressing?

[Jesse69]

How many of you have successfully led a secret life of crossdressing?

How many of you have successfully led a secret life of crossdressing? By this I mean that nobody in the society where you live knows about your habit (or maybe just a few friends & family). Also, that crossdressing has not affected your job or social status or ability to make straight friends?

How did you keep it a secret? How did you buy clothes?

[Tristen Cox]

Jesse I did it for 22 years and other than my mother nobody knows to this day. I don't really care if they ever do either. Got my things how ever I had to. Short of murder:D

[Jesse69]

Jesse I did it for 22 years and other than my mother nobody knows to this day. I don't really care if they ever do either. Got my things how ever I had to. Short of murder:D

But how did you shop for clothes? I bought my clothes from Dept stores, Womens Stores, thrifts shops, etc - all while dressed as a man. And so many people call me gay for doing that.

Really, what's your secret for shopping and keeping it all a secret?

[DonnaT]

Not hard to hide if you don't go out in your neighborhood dressed. Not that hard to acccomplish really.

But if you're sitting outside on your deck in a black skirt, there's every possiblilty that a neighbor will walk up and ask to borrow something, like your truck. (Disclaimer: "you" not meaning you specifically :) )

[Jeanette H]

As it happens, I just posted about this on the Census thread. I live with my mother and she doesn't know what I do. I have a couple of rooms up here, and I just come up late at night, get dressed and made up, and stay that way till two or three a.m., looking in the mirror and taking pictures. Mum sleeps downstairs, so I feel reasonably safe from interruption. I'm pretty sure none of the neighbours suspect anything.

I get my clothes and other TV necessities via the internet. I expect I'd be a better girl and would have a more interesting life if I could go out shopping and meet other people, and maybe it will happen eventually. But as things are I'm not unhappy.

[Tiffy]

Been doing it for 20 years now. Noone know except a friend or two that I have told and my mom. It is pretty easy to do, just do not go out dressed. And remember, the people at the stores do not know your personal life. And some of us men shop for our SO all the time. Even when alone. They do not know you do not have a lady at home. And to be honest, many women do not even care if you are a CD. And some are willing to help you find what you need. Oh, and if your friends come over. Do not leave the fem stuff laying about if you do not want them to know.

Kisses, April

[tifftg]

Yes, shopping on the internet--love E-bay, you can buy many things from Eddie Bauer or Land's End and have the packages delivered to the office. SInce they also sell men's clothes, people assume. I travel a lot and when I am in other cities, I really don't care.

[StephanieCD]

All my life. Only a couple of people my whole life ahve ever known and I chose for them to know. For years I never had my own things - "borrowed" sometimes... even fashioned my own from other clothes. Now that I've accepted myself a bit more I've purchased an odd or an end here or there but the few things I've purchased, really, came from the Internet.

But, yes, I've kept the secret from the time I was 5 - I'm 28 now.

[MelindaC]

I've dressed for 49 years now, since I was 11. Other than one or two CD friends, no one else knows (or has let on otherwise). I've bought clothes in the stores and often by internet or mail order. Every so often I might get something from eBay, but I'm very picky about what I get there.

For the most part, I dress at home. I don't get out in public too often --- but I sure would like be out in public more!!!!!!!!!!!

[StephanieCD]

The key word is, in fact, secret ;) I mask everything I do as well as I can and never do anything I can't explain away. I'm more paranoid than a spy on the run, trust me!

[Franchesca]

Steph' says the key wprd is "secret".
In that case, only my TS lover knows for sure. ;)

[crispy]

my secret all my adult life (and before that), more years than I want to remember, only my present wife knows (and doesn't want to know).

no problem buying clothes. just do it somewhere where you are not going to meet anyone who knows you. who the hell cares?

I have the benefit of maturity - I have learnt not to give a damn about what strangers may choose to think about me. I have bought panties, girdles, bras, swimsuits and nighties in Indian markets, Arab bazaars, Chinese shopping malls, British department stores, charity shops and ebay.

what's this thing about gays buying womens' clothes? if that's what people want to think, then let them, but I can't see why people associate gays with femme.

I'm lucky, I have worked away from home in the construction industry all my life, and apart from holiday visits from the family and the occasional married status job, I have managed to be 'single' for 75% of the time.

................... I hate having to go home when I can only be dressed at night in my (separate) bedroom.

[Khriss]

yup only Mom,, found a practice walking video I made and asked" Why are You taping this girl!?" :rolleyes: ( till some time last week when I mistakenly posted my "drab" photo next to "K"'s on a thread here and now, omg its just a nightmare, my dog left me, my pickup was hit by a comet, my left nut fell off, it just gets worse,,,,,,the usa today article,,,excommunicated,,, omg...)

[Stephenie]

No one ever knew for about 4oyrs until I came out to my wife afew months ago. Now just her and her Tharapist and mine know. and all of you Gals

[Rachel Morley]

I'm like others that have posted here. Until I met my wife Marla, no one...not a living sole knew my secret. I promised myself that I would never ever tell anyone ....ever.

I used to shop mail order and on the internet with occasional purchases at stores in the mall at Christmas and Valentines Day. You can buy almost any female clothes on these days and no one thinks anything except that it's a gift.

Then I met Marla on the old "Men in bras" forum and that changed my life forever!

[Rachel E]

I have been cross dressing since i was about 13 or 14 years old. On the 22nd is my 73rd birthday and untill about 3 years ago, no one had or even new that i cross dressed. I had been married for 47years until the passing of my late wife. No she did not know and neither did any of our children. I have spent over 22 yrs in the military and we all know what happens if they were to find out. Well does this make me the oldest CD'r to be able to keep it a secret the longest?? :)

[emmicd]

I like your thread very much!

I have lived in secret for so long about 35 years by now! I am in my mid 40s and had my first experience at 5. The truth of the matter is I've been on again off again on again off again on again with my dressing throughout those years and now I am permanently on again! It would make your head spin how many times I have come back to it. For the longest time I did not talk about it or reveal it to anyone. I really kept it all to myself! A heavy burden that became. When my wife first caught me I was very embarrassed wearing my body briefer in her presence knowing I had to explain this.

After that I was very careful how and when I would dress. I still lived in the closet and still do. However now I am going out dressed in women shirts and trousers during the weekends and not really attracting too much attention.

My wife knows but is not willing to encourage it. She thinks I should see a doctor and go for treatment to rid myself of this. She really doesn't understand what it is like to be a closet crossdresser always having a need and desire to wear feminine clothing!

I have slowly took steps to let the closest people in my life know about it because I just can't keep this secret much longer. I feel I will suffer if I don't admit that I need to express this side of me. I don't have to go out fully dressed but I feel I need to at least open up about it because the fact is I am not ashamed to admit I am a crossdresser. I really wish to integrate it into my life without making a big deal about it. I have admitted it to a woman friend who happens to be friends to both my wife and I. She was a little bit surprised but seemed to understand. Her immediate reaction was Are you gay? To which I responded Absolutely not!!!!! I Love women to much and always have. My wife asked me the same question. This really gets me mad that people assume you are gay because you like to dress up. I am very happy with my male life and am proud of my heterosexuality. I love being a husband and dad! I just also happen to enjoy wearing dresses too!

My son is my pride and joy and I would never dress in front of him. He is a wonderful kid but is special needs so I need to take the focus off myself to help him. I am his father and I must teach him right and help him overcome his difficulties.

My mom passed away many years ago and I feel guilty I never talked to her about it though I suspect she knew because she always wondered why she would be missing some of her bras and panties.

I recently revealed it to my dad when he asked me why I was wearing womens jeans. He seemed ok about it and just told me to remember my wife, family and career always takes precedence and my crossdressing should be done in a discreet way to which I agreed with him and said Thank you for understanding me!

The one place I will not reveal my crossdressing though is the workplace!

So I am slowly revealing this to people closest to me. Next I need to open up about it with my sisters though I feel they suspect it anyway, their families and my sister in law and her family. I feel the more people I open up to the more I will be able to wear womens pants and blouses without any surprises. I will probabaly go to my parish priest to confess about it too!

Though I don't think crossdressing is a sin! I still feel it may be good to talk about it with a priest. I really need to go back to church!

So hopefully the more people I reveal it too the more able I will be to enjoy dressing in femme clothes!

Emmi

[Stephanie]

I haven't been doing it long but aside from my wife, a good friend, and my brother, NOBODY else knows about my crossdressing and so far it hasn't been that hard to keep it hidden from everybody else since I don't wear any overtly feminine clothing to work or out with family members and every opportunity that I have had to go out "en femme" (twice so far) have been at places and at times when the probability of running into anybody I know was extremely low. Also, we don't hang out with family members and/or friends much due to our hectic schedule so there is very rarely opportunities for inadvertently being discovered. As for shopping, my first two trips into the womens section at JC Penny went extremely smoothly. I knew what I was looking for, slipped into the mens changing room, tried on the clothing, and made my purchases. The salespeople that I encountered at JC Penny were very helpful and friendly and they assumed that I was buying the clothing for my wife not myself. My last few shopping experiences have been with my wife and on at least one occasion I went "en femme" so I felt completely unrestricted in browsing and trying on womens clothing.

[Tristen Cox]

yup only Mom,, found a practice walking video I made and asked" Why are You taping this girl!?" :rolleyes: ( till some time last week when I mistakenly posted my "drab" photo next to "K"'s on a thread here and now, omg its just a nightmare, my dog left me, my pickup was hit by a comet, my left nut fell off, it just gets worse,,,,,,the usa today article,,,excommunicated,,, omg...)
Life just doesn't get any better than this :p :evilbegon

[Lisa]

Ive been playing with drossdresing for a long time, i cant tell you the amount of times that ive bought panties and pantyhose and then months later through them all away. I have done this over and over, but now ive pretty much accepted it although no one knows, ive been out in public about four or five times, with pretty good success, and i have to say i just love it.
I go to wal-mart late at night and buy some of my clothes, others i have found in thrift shopes, i love buying shoes, only a few other people know about this and they do it too so no big deal.none of myclose friend know, or my girl friend, although i think she might have half a clue......she ask me for polish remover one day and kinda smiled, plus i think she might have found my make up, just has'nt said any thing! but anyway i love dressing en femme but i have to keep it a secret, execpt for you ladies.

Good luck to All.

Lisa Lane. :)

[DonnaT]

I have been cross dressing since i was about 13 or 14 years old. On the 22nd is my 73rd birthday and untill about 3 years ago, no one had or even new that i cross dressed. I had been married for 47years until the passing of my late wife. No she did not know and neither did any of our children. I have spent over 22 yrs in the military and we all know what happens if they were to find out. Well does this make me the oldest CD'r to be able to keep it a secret the longest?? :)

Sure sounds like you've got the record Richie! :thumbsup:

Happy Birthday!

[DonnaT]

my girl friend....ask me for polish remover one day and kinda smiled

Did you give here the remover? If you did, she's bound to know. If that's the case, ask her next time she's doing her nails if she'll do yours. That should be fun if she does.

[Katie Ashe]

I am the Susan Storm of secrets, 29 years no one knew. Just recently started coming out. I have had enought of :hiding: . Bought things when on solo missions, and outings... I have a large lunch box to hide things ;) .

[GypsyKaren]

I managed to keep my secret for over 40 years,and except for a few close calls it wasn't really hard to do. I shopped wherever I wanted to, and I always had good hiding places for my things. I told my wife about it earlier this year, and now a few more people know. I greatly prefer being out in the open because the pressure of living such a secret was getting to be to much.

GypsyKaren

[Maude]

Jesse I did it for 22 years and other than my mother nobody knows to this day. I don't really care if they ever do either. Got my things how ever I had to. Short of murder:D


maude knows !

[Wendy me]

Not hard to hide if you don't go out in your neighborhood dressed. Not that hard to acccomplish really.

But if you're sitting outside on your deck in a black skirt, there's every possiblilty that a neighbor will walk up and ask to borrow something, like your truck. (Disclaimer: "you" not meaning you specifically :) )



who could you possably be talking abought Donna ???? i have hid my dressing for a long time from a lot of people... but now i am pretty comfy in being me...
i don't flant it in everyones face....and i don't hide it like i use to do.............
but what happens , happens, gone are the days of locked in the fear of the closet.... the air outside is warm and sun shines for us to enjoy....locked in the house no, not any more ....i am not out and doing that 24/7 thingy
but i am dressing and tanning in the sun ....just not on the run....

[Vivian Best]

Only one person in my circle of relatives, friends, and acquaintences know about my dressing (of course you girls do!). My wife knows and has known about four years. She doesn't want to know thought. Totally I guess, I kept it a secret for close to fifty years.

Vivian

[jessbcuzz]

A few of my closest friends know. They were shocked about it and still don't want to know. I get most of my clothing off e-bay, online stores, or mail order. I will upon occasion pick up a shirt or something at Wal-mart. Come christmas time though, it's much easier to get away with it.

[Clare]

I always suspected my Mum knew about my crossdresing from a young age, but she never said a thing to me during her life (God Bless her - I wish we had gotton on better as two people).

With my Wife, i wore panties and pantyhose which she could accept for unrelated reasons to XDR'ing, and i sometimes dipped into her makeup which annoyed her!

Other than those two special ladies - who i didn't specifically tell - noone else is aware of Chrsitine to my knowledge.

Christine

[lissa_cd]

I will tell you this, I cross dressed on the minor level for years and years and in fact was away from it while my children grew, once they left home I indulged more until I finally had the opportunity to purchase all the things I needed to present myself enfem. I've introduced myself here, to a fellow local and two some patrons in certain shops but to family including my wife I have not and will not tell, this is and always will be my secret from them...Melissa

[geegee2]

How many of you have successfully led a secret life of crossdressing?

How many of you have successfully led a secret life of crossdressing? By this I mean that nobody in the society where you live knows about your habit (or maybe just a few friends & family). Also, that crossdressing has not affected your job or social status or ability to make straight friends?

How did you keep it a secret? How did you buy clothes?
I just went out and bought clothes no one with me, Held my secret for years and still dont let some people knoe for fear it will ruin relationship, shes not and understanding person but we are going our seperate was for other reasons so I wont have to tell her now just shop as GEEGEE and noone really notices much if they do I ignore the remarks they make, cause Im content being GEEGEE, luv,kisses,hugs GEEGEE2 :love:

[Jo_2s]

I like your thread very much!

I have lived in secret for so long about 35 years by now! I am in my mid 40s and had my first experience at 5. The truth of the matter is I've been on again off again on again off again on again with my dressing throughout those years and now I am permanently on again! It would make your head spin how many times I have come back to it. For the longest time I did not talk about it or reveal it to anyone. I really kept it all to myself! A heavy burden that became. When my wife first caught me I was very embarrassed wearing my body briefer in her presence knowing I had to explain this.

After that I was very careful how and when I would dress. I still lived in the closet and still do. However now I am going out dressed in women shirts and trousers during the weekends and not really attracting too much attention.

My wife knows but is not willing to encourage it. She thinks I should see a doctor and go for treatment to rid myself of this. She really doesn't understand what it is like to be a closet crossdresser always having a need and desire to wear feminine clothing!

I have slowly took steps to let the closest people in my life know about it because I just can't keep this secret much longer. I feel I will suffer if I don't admit that I need to express this side of me. I don't have to go out fully dressed but I feel I need to at least open up about it because the fact is I am not ashamed to admit I am a crossdresser. I really wish to integrate it into my life without making a big deal about it. I have admitted it to a woman friend who happens to be friends to both my wife and I. She was a little bit surprised but seemed to understand. Her immediate reaction was Are you gay? To which I responded Absolutely not!!!!! I Love women to much and always have. My wife asked me the same question. This really gets me mad that people assume you are gay because you like to dress up. I am very happy with my male life and am proud of my heterosexuality. I love being a husband and dad! I just also happen to enjoy wearing dresses too!

My son is my pride and joy and I would never dress in front of him. He is a wonderful kid but is special needs so I need to take the focus off myself to help him. I am his father and I must teach him right and help him overcome his difficulties.

My mom passed away many years ago and I feel guilty I never talked to her about it though I suspect she knew because she always wondered why she would be missing some of her bras and panties.

I recently revealed it to my dad when he asked me why I was wearing womens jeans. He seemed ok about it and just told me to remember my wife, family and career always takes precedence and my crossdressing should be done in a discreet way to which I agreed with him and said Thank you for understanding me!

The one place I will not reveal my crossdressing though is the workplace!

So I am slowly revealing this to people closest to me. Next I need to open up about it with my sisters though I feel they suspect it anyway, their families and my sister in law and her family. I feel the more people I open up to the more I will be able to wear womens pants and blouses without any surprises. I will probabaly go to my parish priest to confess about it too!

Though I don't think crossdressing is a sin! I still feel it may be good to talk about it with a priest. I really need to go back to church!

So hopefully the more people I reveal it too the more able I will be to enjoy dressing in femme clothes!

Emmi

Emmi thank's for your post, we are so alike, everything you said is me I even have a special needs daughter. I wish like you I could take steps to let people near me know, but I have to think of my wife and children.
Jo

[Priscilla1018]

I kept my secret for 47 years until I came out to my wife last February.

[Drucilla]

I have kept my "hobby" a secret for many years. I don't think anyone knows or even supects --not even my wife. This comes at a price althought. I only dress when I am out of town where no one knows me. I buy clothes , makeup, etc "on the road" , never locally. I buy with the idea that it's all disposable and except for a very few items that I keep well hidden, dispose of everything before I return home. I know it's a sad story and one most of you would frown on ,but it has worked for me for a VERY long time. I don't see my situation changing so I have learned to live with and grab what enjoyment I can when ever I can !

[Katie Ellen]

Like most, I've been very successful at hiding. I've never been caught, but I've had a few close calls. Not bad I guess for a period of about 40 years.
Only my wife and a therapist (who thought I was "latent" homosexual) 30 years ago, know about it. I never told anybody after that until I told my wife (to be at the time) 13 years ago.
The internet, my wife and buying a lot of "gifts" at Christmas works for me. But especially my wife buying for me works the best (as long as I buy for her too!)
Katie

[GirlyBridget]

When I was first starting out, using other peoples clothes, my secret was to put things back, not only in the same place they were in, but in the same position. I'd fold all the same wrinkles into my sisters skirts, and place all the hose back in the same shaped bunchup.

Now I hide my stuff in the wall behind the medicine cabinet. No one has ever thought to look there.

[katrinafltg]

well, what does "succesful" mean? My only real problem with crossdressing is that I have big hands and feet. There is a lot of social pressure to be "straight" because of the stong human instinct for procreation. Its only natural. Human beings are wild by nature. It is culture and rules that keep us under rein. which isn't always bad. You don't want anarchy.

But times have changed. We are not in danger of dying out as a race. quite the opposite. I'm not going to say we have too many people. I don't want to be the one to decide who doesn't deserve to be here. However the human race is not on the verge of exctinction.

So we have the freedom to live human lives. We're not just breeding machines. Some of our contributions are not in the mating arena and they are worth just as much.

My contention is that people dissaprove of "abnormal" behavior because they don't want to give in to their urges.

So its hard to find people who are secure enough with themselves to not be freaked out by those who are different.

I understand that people are frightened by me. and some are frightened because they are attracted to me.

I don't crave acceptance. I'd love to pass. Would be the best thing ever. But I'm not supposed to pass. I am who I am.

Nevermind success. I just want to enjoy being here. I want to feel good about being alive regardless of whats going on.

[StephanieCD]

When I was first starting out, using other peoples clothes, my secret was to put things back, not only in the same place they were in, but in the same position. I'd fold all the same wrinkles into my sisters skirts, and place all the hose back in the same shaped bunchup.

Now I hide my stuff in the wall behind the medicine cabinet. No one has ever thought to look there.

I hear ya about the putting things back exactly - didn't hurt that when I was younger they thought I had photographic memory! ;) My dream is to someday build a home for myself and confide in my contractor so he can build me a secret room through a false wall in the basement! And plenty of secret closets, too! I want a regular small closet full of drab clothes - but, if you slide the wall away it's a walk-in, fabulous dressing room closet! Oh... to dream!

[Phillis]

I have been keeping it secret for 58 years. The only people know about my cross dressing is a very few friends. They accept me the way I am, either as a male or dressed as a female. I do not go out dressed as a female, although I do wear panties under my male clothing once in a while.

[Toyah]

Same as the majority I guess my wife knows, does not really understand but lets me dress from time to time. She does allow me to dress in bed sometimes too and if she wears the same type of panties the sensations are incredable:censor: after that. My bedroom floor is usually covered with piles of stuff its nice to come in too. Think I have more fem clothes than my wife and can wear about half of hers:) :thumbsup: .
My mother I have never told but know she is curious about all sorts of stuff like this , I may tell her some day