Maturing as a TG or as an SO

[Sheila]

do any of you look back to those early posts and see the change brought about by being a member here, both in your growth in terms of who you have become today as opposed to who you were when you arrived ?

Do you ever look back at your earlier posts and say "OMG did I really think that ?, feel like that ?, say that ?"

I know that on the odd occasion I look back, I cringe at some of the things I asked or said in reply in my ignorance, and hurt and anger somedays :o

What are the biggest change being here has brought about to you in either dressing or your change in how you view yourself ..........what point has your personal growth reached after being here X amount of time ? and do oyu foresee any future short/long term changes being in the pipeline for you ?

[Jonianne]

I think being here has helped me really become settled in my spirit about the many things I had previously questioned in myself. When I first started here last year, reading others thoughts and searching deep inside of me and expressing my own on screen to a vast number of like minded people and especially to the wonderful SO's here, have helped me clarify and cement my earlier thoughts I expressed on this site. I was pretty settled before, but being here has really fine tuned my inward thoughts.

I especially enjoy watching the SO's that join the site and in a matter of weeks and months gain vast knowledge and you can see it in their writings. I feel so happy for them for how far they come in understanding not only their CD's but themselves. Whether or not their particular relationship works out with thier CD, I see them become so much more stronger in themselves.

[Rachel Morley]

What a great question Shelia! I'm sure you'll get a lot of answers :)

Over the past 4 years this website, or rather the people who post on it, have helped me understand the complexities and diversities of the transgender spectrum and where I fit into it all. I know and understand much more about myself and how my feelings differ and are similar to many others. Previously I thought I was the only person who felt like me.

The folks here have also helped me constructively in how to improve my presentation and the biggest thing is it has given me increased confidence to push myself further. Hearing and reading about everyone's adventures going out in the big wide world dressed and how they handled it was the reason I made it out the door in the first place. I love this place! What I've written in my posts, that is to say how I wrote it and my viewpoint on things, has pretty much stayed the same. My understanding of others however has definitely grown. :)

[Kate Simmons]

Difficult to explain and most folks would not understand. I was already accepting of myself when I came here as Ericka. I had been going to therapy, not for self acceptance but to figure out to deal with others who were having a problem with it and who I was. This opened a whole new facet of looking at things from a spiritual perspective and learning how to marshal the male and female energies(which we all have) under one umbrella in order to utilize them synergistically. This united my overall self rather than dividing it along gender lines and allowed me to always be the same person regardless of appearance.

As a result I learned that it was mostly about feelings for myself rather than anything else and being able to freely embrace them , integrate them and express them no matter what my presentation is.This in turn enhanced my appreciation for others and acceptance of who they are as people. What is required to do this is think outside the gender "box" and to embrace tolerance and diversity. I have gone through several changes while being a member of the Forum and with each name change take one more step forward. I've learned that we are only as limited as our own imagination.:)

[Misty is Kindafem]

Well, my "early" posts were just a few months ago but I think I've definitely changed since this board became a daily habit.

I think I may have ruffled a feather boa or two when I breezed in, and as I look back, I could have been a little less, well ...bitchy.

I mean, I'm still the same girl, but this forum is definitely different than any other. A little staid and conservative perhaps, but I'm sure that's better than a board full of kinky pics and panty fetishists.

The biggest change has been in my perspective. My feminine identity is such that I used to feel ridiculous trying to dress up this grotesque male form. Lipstick on a pig is an appropriate analogy. Reconciling how I feel inside with how I look was a study in frustration and desperation.

This forum has changed that. Because of my sisters on this board, (some who have beards!) I have come to grips with my situation. I accept my bad parts and feel grateful for my good parts. Also the FtM's have really touched me because all of them are so sincere and us girls have it so much easier than those dudes on so many levels.

Yes, this forum in just a scant few months has given me perspective.

...and that's not bad.

-Misty

[tricia_uktv]

I would say read my blog, but my blog is always three months behind. We change in subtle ways, we don't know how or why we are changing, but more and more we become feminine. I have noticed that and I'm now very close to passing, although that is not important to me.

[windycissy]

No doubt about it, my evolution as a person has been accelerated by feedback from this forum, both positive and negative. Does anyone remember the flamewar in response to my first "I've been dating a guy" thread? In addition to a lot of shock and outrage, many girls shared their own fantasies about going out on a date with a man and encouraged me to follow my heart. The negative feedback forced me to re-examine my feelings and toughened me up, and the positive feedback affirmed that I wasn't alone.

[Sarah_GG]

Good question Sheila... I don't think I'd look back and cringe at my previous posts but I do find being on here is a continual learning curve.

We absorb as much as we're capable of (and some of us are slower than others! :o) expanding our knowledge base and understanding of what TG really is all about as we go along.

It's interesting now to see newbies on the site and knowing exactly where they are with it all, particularly GG SOs, that's when I can see how far I've come with it all.

:)

[noeleena]

Hi...
As to the forums . I v only been on them over the last allmost 3 years . & some a lot less. I v met some of our girls face to face . in n z & australia . last year.
As to growing. well i v had 11 years so far . & yes a lot of changes . getting to know your self as a person & for me a woman . it took 50 years to know i would live & be true to my self & as i say . that other woman . who was & is me .
While you grow you unlearn many things . as you learn . for myself even as a mix of both male & female . it has been much easyer . being a andro .
From age 10 i knew . just could not put things to gether . hence the long wait .
One detail was i was not able to express my self as a woman . yet did in little ways . . thinking no one would know . well two people did . unbeknown to me . now of cause i can open up . & be counted as a woman .......The difference is its taken a toll & yes still will for family to ajust to the changes from the so called male to a woman . not easy . far from it . there is no going back . nor would i . because this is the real me as a person
The best part of my life is now . yes at 62 .
...noeleena...

[Daintre]

Maturing is an odd thing, I have been here for 4 years and I have become more confident in myself. I have evolved really from someone who thought she was a CD to one who knows now that she is going down a different path. I am, as all of us are, aging, but that doesn't mean we are maturing, I have come a long way, it has been a hard and difficult road to travel and thanks to all of you, the trip has been a hard but joyous one. I mean that last sentence in a good way. :)

[Shari]

Sheila, thank you so much for such a great question. It's not that often anymore that something just jumps out at me.
You have me so curious I'll simply have to go back and look at some of my earlier posts to see if whether or not I've morphed anywhere over this past year.

One thing this forum has done for me is to allow me to finally accept myself over all the years of denial, purging, etc.
I'm not perverse. I'm not strange. I'm not that different.
I'm okay. You're okay.
No better way to put it.
Thanks to you and all the girls here who helped me to realize who I am.

Shari

[Di]

Great question hon:hugs: I would def cringe at some of the things I said.:o
A hyper puppy comes to mind:brolleyes:

[Sandra]

Hmmmm don't don't know about maturing, but have become more confident when talking to people about the tg comunity, eg at work/friends.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Yes, to the point I don't even want to go back and see some of my earlier post or threads. I kind of view it that just as my male side is a different person with different view points from a few years ago when I first joined.

My femme side is also a differnt person and also will continue to grow and change. The biggest change for me is my pictues. All I will say is there was a reason why I always had my head cropped off some of my earlier avatars.

[Tracy Lynn]

I have been a member here for 4 years now and I have grown so much as a person. I know more who I really am and I am happy with myself. I read way more than I post and I take in all in which I think has helped immensely. Before I found this site I thought I was a freak or something, not knowing where to go for help or who to talk to. Now I can talk with my SO about things I never thought possible and life has become so much happier. :hugs:

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I know when I first joined, I felt a little odd about my CDing.But now, I feel great about it.Fully embraced my feminine side.Except for going to work or going out to see family and friends, I'm in female mode most of the time and love it.



Felicity

[Deborah Jane]

When I first came here I was a lost soul, confused and looking for answers, thinking I was alone with this. I didn't understand my need to crossdress and was looking for a "cure".
Over time I came to realise that this is a very important part of who I am, also that there are many of us from all walks of life.
I have matured during my time here in many ways, but also in maturing I have started to find my true self.

I rarely cringe at my old posts as I try to avoid them, especially the pantie threads :o :o:heehee:

[KayC]

I haven't been here all that long and yet even so, I feel being here has changed my outlook, I'm more open and willing to consider other things, and of course I've learned a lot, that there are all kinds of gender identities that I never even thought about before. I also feel more protective and sensitive towards others who might endure anything for being different than norm. I just feel my outlook has changed totally.
I can't say as I feel bad for how I thought before because it's all a process and if that wasn't your life experience, how could you know? At least I've moved from shock to a stance where I'd consider more...
This has answered a lot of my questions and fears, most of which, although understandable, were unfounded.

[jweanie1]

Im just a newbie but already I have learned that my first thought that I had lost my "guy" was not the cast at all. Im sure there are more revelations to come.

Jean

[Lorileah]

I never look back, as they say something might be gaining on you. And besides in heels not watching where you are going can be dangerous.

I don't think things have changed. I have gone through a metamorphoses and I have learned that you have to pick battles and people here are not here to change but to look for self validation (wow that's deep man.) The ones who want to grow do so. Most stay stagnant and remain in their own darkness (wow this 60's mode is getting wild).

There are a few lucky ones who get to grow together (:hugs: Debs and Sheila) some of us just get moldy ;)

[sherri52]

The one thing that I have learned is that there are alot more cd'ers than just me. I have found many ladies here who thik like I do. The way I answer someone now is more on the line of a female answering verses a man in a dress answering, Feeling more with what is said.

[Sheila]

thanks to all for your replies, it is interesting sometimes to look and see where we were and evaluate out growth :)

[Karen564]

do any of you look back to those early posts and see the change brought about by being a member here, both in your growth in terms of who you have become today as opposed to who you were when you arrived ?

Do you ever look back at your earlier posts and say "OMG did I really think that ?, feel like that ?, say that ?"

I know that on the odd occasion I look back, I cringe at some of the things I asked or said in reply in my ignorance, and hurt and anger somedays :o

What are the biggest change being here has brought about to you in either dressing or your change in how you view yourself ..........what point has your personal growth reached after being here X amount of time ? and do oyu foresee any future short/long term changes being in the pipeline for you ?

Yeah, What a great thread Sheila!!
For starters....
I was WAY to open about my personal life & thoughts!! Very embarrassing....:o But of course was only doing because I was trying to help some other TS girls going through some very tough times in their lives discovering who or what they were and give some direction the TS section, so I would pour my most personal & intimate thoughts of how I felt growing up to convey my message across so they could possibly relate to it.. it did work, but now have other ways to do that..

Hummmm, The change in how I view myself....

Well, when I came 1st came here I didn't want to show my face, because I thought it was way too ugly, but all my wonderful friends in the Safe Haven had given me the confidence I needed to show it publicly after I showed them privately, so for better or worse..and besides, they told me they were tired of seeing my boobs hanging out in my old avatar, so dont blame me, blame them, it was their idea,,,,LOl

Personal growth??
Not sure I had any real measurable personal growth, I'm sure I had some though, or so I hope I did, but not too much has changed, I guess I feel a little better about myself now..I had always loved helping others with solid real world advise from my past experiences, and hopefully that hasn't or ever will change..

Where I'm going??
I've been transitioning for a while now, way before I came here, and will continue to transition until all my goals are accomplished, SRS is a definite YES for me in the future, cant wait!!, but dont know when I can do that due to finances..
Hopefully someday, I will also find my prince charming to sweep me off my feet too..., I have lots of lost time to make up for.. :heehee:..:o

:hugs:

[Tasha McIntyre]

When I arrived here a year ago I was the only person in the history of the universe who felt like this.......I felt awkward and looked awful. I was living in fear in the depths of a very dark closet, and not even my wonderful wife knew my secrets.

Then I stumbled on this site, and my world changed forever, in the most incredible way.

Biggest changes you ask? After reading thousands of posts and chatting to many wonderful members here -

I understood that CDing is fun and widespread
I found the courage to tell the wife about Tash.
I exited the closet and entered the mall

Thank you everybody

Tash :)

[Aquamarine]

When i discovered my H's XD, It was the late 70ies.I was young and inexperienced.I had to figure it out by myself,no computer, nobody to talk with.Years went on, I learned a lot,understand better, got more information,joined the forum, listened to others wives...Unfortunately,deep inside, I am still struggling.