What about you are you currently "working on"?

[sandra-leigh]

What particular aspects of your cross-dressing are you currently "working on"?

I go through periods in which I concentrate on some particular aspect of my dressing, such as trying out a number of different varieties of something to find what suits me, or building up my confidence and "naturalness" with regards to that aspect by repeated practice.

A lot of people take their cues from you yourself, and if you are feeling self-conscious about something, or if you haven't done something enough for it to have become "second nature" to you {yes, yes, double entendre noted}, then the way you carry yourself or the way you move, or if you "check out how it looks" too often, then people will notice that "something isn't right". When people notice that you are male, whether they consider it "weird" or "unnatural" depends upon what you project about it being natural and normal. So sometimes you have to deliberately practice something, or deliberately push your comfort boundaries until you get to the point where it is comfortable and normal for you.

Aspects that I personally have been working on lately are:

wearing more obvious earrings and more traditionally feminine earrings, such as larger hoops or earrings that dangle lower, or pearl dangles. Some of what I've worn might normally be hidden by my (long) hair, but especially when I move around at work, the momentum of their movement would tend to bring them into view. I know that my more-obvious earrings are not going completely unnoticed, but I've worn them often enough now that me wearing them is just part of the "flow" of me, not important to anyone else because the naturalness and self-acceptance within me is picked up by other people.
wearing a soft lipstick in to work. I don't mean a "very pale shade", but when I don't use the lip-liner and when I only put the lipstick on the lips themselves (no "over-drawing"), it gives some colour to my lips without being obvious that it is Makeup. Without the lip-linear, Yes, the lipstick does wear off (especially if I have something to eat); I may or may not refresh it. Once I've put it on before going in, I don't worry about whether it was "too visible" or whether it has worn off enough to be "safe" to go into the hall, and so on -- and yes, I've gone to talk to people right after getting to work, when the lipstick would still be there. A GG who was Wearing Lipstick would probably use a lip-liner or use a longer-lasting (less creamy, more waxy) colour, but my purpose at the moment is not to become the company Guy Who Wears Lipstick: the purpose is more to get me comfortable with routinely wearing some lipstick, including around people who know me.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been working on wearing forms at work. Not every day, and perhaps only my smaller forms, and I do sometimes still "chicken out" and remove them if I think I'm going to be dealing with my boss -- but still I'm wearing them when I'm interacting with people at work, and I wear even the larger ones until I get to my individual office, not covering them up or putting an obstacle in the way if I stop to talk to someone on my route upstairs.
Over the last few days, I've been working on going out with a more obvious bust -- with no wig (but shoulder-length hair). Male face, but clearly femme clothes, very light makeup, and with my bosum about as obvious as it would be for a GG who was not choosing to minimize theirs (e.g., T-shirt or sweater instead of covering with a jacket.) Note that I didn't say "with a bigger bust": it isn't the size of the form that has changed, it is the extent to which I am letting other people be aware of the shape, by choice of fabric and top design. If I am going to go "public" as androgynous, then I am going to end up in more situations in which people are aware of my bust (and I'm still considering hormones for breast growth, and I do not rule out implants.) When I talked to human resources at work, HR thought it would likely be easier for people to accept if I started off with forms and had people adjust to that before I switched to obviously-female clothes. Even if my gender therapist agrees, the question would still remain "What size of forms would I wear at work, knowing that they would be noticed?" Which is going to depend partly on what size I can wear with confidence and naturalness... which, for the larger forms especially, is going to depend upon practice and self-pride. C-cup forms are pretty much invisible on me unless I am wearing something specifically tailored to have "pockets" for the breasts, or unless I am wearing something more form fitting like a stretchy shirt... and C cup forms are much smaller than "feels right" to me. The professionals tell me that they are unrealistically small for my body size and projected "presence", that I should about an F or G cup. Start small and shrug off comments with "Yah, so what?" and eventually switch, or go right into the the size recommended by the professionals... I don't know the answer, but in the meantime I'm working on becoming more natural and less self-conscious about perceived bust size. (And I'm also discovering the "joys" of trying to run for the bus when your bust is bounding up and down :o )



What do you find yourself concentrating on or "practicing" lately?

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Currently trying to lose some of the weight that has crept on in the last couple of years so that I don't feel like my skirts are cutting me in half :eek: Apart from that I'm comfortable with how I am.

[DanyaKay]

The wig thread got to me thinking about one. Gotta do some more research on it. Probably go with a long. My job keeps me from being out in public for now. dk

[Jocelyn Quivers]

As always I've been trying to work on getting my eye shadow colors correct.

Longterm I've been working on the "functionality" aspect. Meaning that I think I have the still picture look taken care of and I'm usually pleased with how they turn out.

The problem is my stance, seating, walking, talking and just general existence I look like a "neanderthal" guy in a dress. Hence the "functionality" problem which has a lot to do with why I never venutre outside the closet.

[Karren H]

For me it's Breasts!! After reading an article in "Men's Health" I've been obsessed with them and it's really paying off.. Supliments.. Creams.. Massage.... Negetive pressure..... Eating and drinking soy damn near everything... Changing medications to ones that cause gynecomastia...

[kerryann]

My dressing is wearing girly underwear fulltime so I am working on being more adventurous with the dressing.

[Jannis]

You are very right. i am always working on something to improve the whole aspect. Right now, my main interest is my hair. I have been growing it out for nine months now. I found a friendly stylist to work with. But I need to learn how to make it look femme with my own curing iron and styling brushes and dryer. I am in a constant project of getting the right look with makeup and practicing with colors and applications. I am also trying to be more femme with my physical movements (walking, sitting, using my hands more artfully, etc.) Oh yea, losing weight!!!!!:battingeyelashes:

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Sandra,

Right now I am trying to loose a few pounds. I have a makeover and photo session scheduled in less than 2 weeks and want to look as thin as possible.

Nicole

[suchacutie]

1) I lose weight in chunks, and this week is a drive to lose 4 pounds and keep them off.

2) I'm working on the inflections in my voice without dropping into the lower resonance, working on talking more slowly as it helps a lot, and working on clearing my throat without that masculine lower resonance.

3) I'm casually trying to figure out how to generate a cleavage without sacrificing life-like breastforms and without getting strapped into a harness. I love Gina's method here, but I'd need new bras and I'm concerned that it would leave me a little "hard". Still working on it :).

tina

[ArleneRaquel]

How to blend the perfect eye makeup with the fact that I wear glasses, also lose weight, and find the proper hair style that goes with my VOGUE eyewear. :love:

[Teri Jean]

For me it is transitioning but the fact is it's the whole package. Presentation, style, make up suitable for work, and of course taking care of my hair(shoulder length human hair wig, lace cap).

Teri

[Angelofsomekind]

I think there are always different projects going on. Always looking for new ways to do makeup, mainly eyeshadow, When I go out we usually go to clubs, the makeup I have on there doesn't work as well at other times during the day.

I have been trying to get a website going showing step by step pictures of how to apply eyeshadows in different styles. I would love to help others figure out how to do it. I remember before I knew anything about makeup it seemed impossible, but now it's actually not hard at all. I'm not saying I'm good at it, but I'm working on it, and would love to get more people adding their pictures of how they do their makeup to help others.

Increasing my wardrobe.

And of course loosing a little weight, it's not too bad, I don't actively work for it, but if a little went away I wouldn't complain.

[Melissa in hose]

Mine would have to be losing weight.

[marisa]

what part i'm concentrating the most on is getting my hips padded just right to look natural. make'n fairly good head way but still room for improvement.
and working hard at getting a certain "part" to stay hidden and flat. but other than that i'm content with my looks.

[DonnaT]

My weight. I've made a promise to myself to not go out again until I've lost a significant amount of weight.

-40+ lbs so far.

[Kate Simmons]

Seriously? How epigenomes determine who we are.:)

[Karren H]

Seriously? How epigenomes determine who we are.:)

Reminds me I need to work on my english vobaculary some more.. A lot more!! :)

[Faith_G]

I'm currently working on all this damn body hair. I swear I can watch it grow! :Angry3:

[ashcrimson]

Make-up as a whole and taking care of my face. A few days ago I notice I had this red flaky rash on my face and its somewhat distressing me. The curves, Ill worry about it way way later.

[sherri52]

I'm not working on anything in particular other than make up and nail polish. I have a small thrift store (one employee, me) and lately I have kept my makeup, bra, heels and sometimes nail polish on for hours after I opened. I think in my mind I want to be caught by my customers or even friends because I couldn't possibly get the polish off in time after they walk in..

[TSchapes]

I'm more or less happy with my look.

I'm now more concerned with the pain and guilt that so many of our sisters feel. Too many have not accepted themselves, too many have not even come out to their SO's and family. I spend more of my time educating others about things TG. Once we reach and teach enough people, we will tip the tables in our favor and being TG will not be an issue.

I believe we will see a change in our lifetimes (yes even at my age).

-Tracy

[dilane]

Well, I'm not into gender blending -- I'm either boy mode or girl mode.

My look is ok, I'm slender enough (size 8-10), face is nearly clear, and short of major facial surgery, I'm probably looking as good as I'm gonna get. I'm too thin and toned to worry about cleavage -- so I don't.

I'm out in public a lot. These days, I observe other women, and focus on my presentation: voice, gestures, and walk when I'm out and about. Coughing, sneezing and clearing my throat ("Ahemmm!") were the among last things I worked on.

-- Diane

"You can observe a lot just by watching" -- Yogi Berra

[Nicole Erin]

trying to drop a few vanity pounds and working on voice.
both are doing well, but kind of half ass. I just need to get more serious about both.

those are the only things I can really do right now

[Michelle123]

Well, several things come to mind that I shall work on, starting next month, and certainly going into the new yr.
1. Losing weight. (the old beer gut thing)
2. This is a big one. Working harder on trying to make my GF understand that when I want to be dressed, it is more than a sexual thing. We have discussed this several times before, but she is still having trouble understanding that most of the time, I just want to feel (content), at piece with myself, natural....(oh I could use so many words to describe how I feel, but I think all here get my drift). I could even say I want to feel normal, becuase being as we are, dressing in feminine things IS normal for us isn't it?
She has always had a problem understanding why I need to dress for that reason, and why I feel so comfortable having feminine "mannerisms" while in my fem mode.
3. If I am succesful with reason #2, I want to begin working on my makeup skills, wearing a wig more often, and just looking complete.
4. Again, with the succsess of reason #2, being able to finally live full time as a female in our home, with limitations of couse, such as visitors, service people, etc.
Wish me luck. I plan to keep all here posted as to how things develop. I am so glad I found this forum to be able to express my feelings.

[Elaine Michelle]

I am trying to figure out how to create feminine eyebrows. Mine are very low guybrows. I need to somehow create higher, arched feminine brows. My latest approach is using tape to lift the eyebrows, which is an approach I found on these forums

Also, just makeup in general, contouring. Trying to identify and eliminate the guyness cues and find and emphasize the girliness cues.

Elaine

[sandra-leigh]

To all who have shared their stores so-far, Thank You!

I notice that weight is coming up a lot; weight has been a concern for me as well, but not enough of one to actively work on, especially as I had the "excuse" that some of the medications were futzing with my system. One of them had me eating about twice as much as normal and still not feeling full.

But this year, my weight has fallen a fair bit without my having taken any particular care. I believe, and my GP thinks my belief to be well-grounded, that for me, the key to that spontaneous weight loss was my having started therapy. Originally I had a very specific focus in mind, but we have drifted and the therapy has become more about coping with my overall situation, including a non-trivial amount of "validation" from the therapist that although I am not perfect, that many of my stress feelings have real roots, that if life "doesn't seem fair", it has to do with the fact that some people really are treating me unfairly. And the weight loss? Because through the therapy, my internal conflicts and frustrations are lowered, and discovering and accepting myself more, and I am asserting my own needs more -- and thus my brain has dropped out of constant "fight or flight" mode, reduced the cortizone production a lot: cortizone is a precursor to a number of steroids needed for combat, so when it drops, your body stops holding on to fat that it is hoarding as an "energy reserve" for the fight.

So, seriously, if you are overweight and you can't seem to lose it, and you are feeling chronically stressed, then therapy might help a lot in getting your mind to the point where it knows the emergency is over and let's your body return fat-retention to normal levels.

To Karren: I'm still having arguments with myself about whether you were being serious or not :heehee:



I think in my mind I want to be caught by my customers or even friends because I couldn't possibly get the polish off in time after they walk in..

Yep, there have been many of us who have gone through a phase of being sloppy or taking risks or "accidentally" not being careful; we have such trouble bringing ourselves to outright tell others, but we allow ourselves to be unsafe on the matter, somehow telling ourselves that being "caught" would just be an "accident", something "not really your fault".

I'm nearly certain that at one time I had a thread about "Do I *want* to get caught / Do I want to get *caught*", but when I went back to try to find it several months ago, I couldn't see any sign of it.

I don't know why so many of us start to feel that we want someone else (sometimes it doesn't matter much who) to know about your dressing. There might be an aspect of wanting to be "given permission" to dress, to be told by someone we know personally that dressing is acceptable and not perverted or that you aren't a weirdo.... even if you don't think of yourself as a weirdo, the little recesses at the back of your mind sometimes need to hear it from a "peer" or "person of authority" in order to totally release the idea.

I know that in my case, I was starting to feel physically sick because I was feeling that in not telling my wife, I was in some sense lying to her. I didn't have a specific about what the lie consisted of, just that hiding it from her was a lie, a bad lie; that I was being untrue to my ethics (which are quite important to me) by not telling her. By that time, I was no longer the person that she thought I was, so hiding my stash and the fact of my dressing was hiding what had become the "real" me under the disguise of who I had been... and in a marriage, (IMHO) hiding who you really are is a form of a lie to your partner. For me, it become time to rip open the disguise, and to hope for the best while fearing the worst.

A few months ago, I got sick of hiding who I have become from my sister and my mother, and told them too. There was only one other person who I felt "deserved to know", my best friend who is honest and open with me about his human struggles, so a fairly short time later I took the plunge and told him as well (and made it clear to him that I don't expect him to keep any of the story from his wife, who is also a dear friend of mine.)

The reasons vary from person to person, but Yes, it is common to come to the point of feeling that the secret has to be let out.

[AllieSF]

Like Marisa I am trying to get the best shape from my waist down. So far that requires cinchers, padded butt and hip panties and a skirt that really hangs perfectly. I am getting better and more accepting of my own physical limitations. I just hope that I get that elusive shape I want before I get to old to remember why I was trying to do that!

[Terri Andrews]

Like others have said ,losing some weight would be first followed by working on a femminne voice . I get by ,with my voice ,but am always nervous when engaged in conversations.
I also try to push the enevolpe by wearing feminne clothes when in guy mode and have found that ,so far ,few have noticed .

[Secret Sis]

For me there are two projects I've been working on for years now... First is losing some weight so the clothes I enjoy wearing so much actually look a little better on me and second, being able to finally tell my wife about my CDing... Married 10 years and I still haven't told her!:doh:

[PretzelGirl]

I am one of those that has been changing my appearance over a long period of time. I was using an ID I have where the picture is 10 years old and I was asked for another because it doesn't look like me.

So right now I am gradually thinning the eyebrows. I have long hair and I am working on how I want to style it (and I have made some really bad "do's"). The make-up is next in the queue along with working on arm hair, which is the only hair left for me to get rid of (the face stays for now).

[StaceyJane]

Currently I've been getting laser treatments to get rid of the hair on my arms.
Next I would like to get a wig and learn about makeup so I can be a bit more passable.

(oh, and lose weight too)

[ticklishcd]

I've been working on finding out which toenail polish looks best with the various colors I like to wear. I like to offset colors, like I've found that using pink with white is good for me, or using a light purple under white nylon has a great effect, for me.

[Karen__Starr]

I am currently working on

Liposuction, currently at a good weight but want some tightening up, have an appointment in two weeks
Voice control, making it more natural
Second letter of recommendation for SRS

[Rachel Morley]

My voice (although it's not going very well at the moment) ... and soon it'll be electrolysis on my face.

[Adelaide]

I need to work on my make-up, especially my eyes (the MAC girls are so good at it!!!). Then, my voice. Finally, I've been trying to "work" on my wife for many years...however without any success whatsoever...

A.

[tiffanytrapt19]

Just my face at the moment, then maybe some chest area but firstly my face.

[Jenniferpl]

Like most of you, losing weight is a right up there. Mainly just trying to be a better person. I have a lot of dark colored clothing and I am trying to become more comfortable in brighter colors.

[erickka]

That is my downfall. I look like a neandrethal when in guy mode, slouching, etc. I am trying to make a real effort to learn to carry my head high, shoulders back, chest out, belly in. I am starting to do it more naturally, but it has taken A LOT of time .

[Vickie64]

I have been trying to be more aware on how I "move" when I am dressed, things like my walk, my hand and body movements.
I have also been trying to soften and raise the pitch of my voice a little, aside from not being able to visually pass, my voice is one big giveaway for me ( it is very deep).
And as always trying to get better and quicker with the makeup...my wife says I take to long putting it on. :daydreaming:

[Deborah Jane]

I am currently working on my confidence for when i'm out and about :)

[PretzelGirl]

I am currently working on my confidence for when i'm out and about :)

So that is what you are doing in your avatar! :heehee:

[BonnieJG]

well for me ,I am currently working on my confidence on going out, makeup my hair ,losing weight

[borbiusle]

I am currently working on my confidence for when i'm out and about :)

Same, that's the final frontier for me, actually going out.

[Aeval]

I'm gearing up for a second round of the South Beach Diet. I managed to lose 35 pounds last time and though I may not (or perhaps shouldn't) lose that much, I'm still excited about trying!

Also, posture has always been a real issue for me. That is something I'd really like to improve on.

[docrobbysherry]

That sticks to silicone!:brolleyes:

[Princess Chantal]

Exploring more creative ideas for my crossdressing to maintain the level of my passion for it

[Miranda09]

Working on my legs and makeup skills, both of which are essential for me to achieve my goal. :)

[Jodi M]

Just working on my feminine appearance overall. Would like to become more knowledgeable and skilled in the use of make up and lose about 30 pounds.
I would love to have hips that would hold up a garter belt. I am thinking a structured program such as Nutrisystem would help.The cost of it would be an incentive to stick with it also.

[Frédérique]

What particular aspects of your cross-dressing are you currently "working on"?


I’ve been working on my shape lately (breastforms and etc), plus I’ve been building a decent collection of dresses during the past few months…:)

[slamddoger]

my is working on little thing. l like working on blend in. working on accepted my salf. as crossdresser and buidind on confidence to go out and blend in

[BunnieCashmere]

Currently I'm working on a few things.

*I'm working on coming out as a CD to all my friends. I've told the vast majority of them, but I'm still working on a building up the courage to tell a few of them. (the more macho ones)

*I'm working on my make-up skills. I want to look convincing when (and if) I start to go out, not like a drag queen. (although looking like a drag queen is super-fun sometimes.)

*I'm working on my posture and walking. I want to appear more feminine in every way when I'm dressed up.

[Regina]

Down to two things right now, I had my braces removed in May....(need to practice smiling), my hair has been growing out for over a year now despite scorn and ridicule, finally started electrolysis on my face in April, still a ways to go on that one.





Regina....

[SallyjoCD]

My eye makeup, my wigs, and finding clothes that complement my figure.
I'm getting better at the makeup, think I've found a wig that works best and love shopping for clothes.

[jessidresser]

I'm wearing complete women's underwear everyday, plus pants and t shirts
since it's still pretty warm.
:battingeyelashes:

[[alice]]

My weight. I'm 6'1", 126 pounds. It's not something I'm ashamed of, I just want to be... well, bigger. Thicker, really. More meat on my thighs, midsection, and arms. I'm far too bony for my own liking.

It's not a self-image thing. I hate when people try to tell me I'm beautiful the way I am. I don't find myself hideous or disgusting, I just want to change something about my physical appearance, nothing more. You can't ask anyone on sites like Yahoo! Answers how to get flabbier without people telling you you should be happy with the body you have. :Angry3:

[Diane Smith]

I am trying to lose about 10 pounds, and I'm practicing daily about 6 - 8 hours in heels to improve my endurance and confidence when out and about. Both are actually going fairly well.

- Diane

[sandra-leigh]

and I'm practicing daily about 6 - 8 hours in heels to improve my endurance and confidence when out and about.

Wow, where did you find heels you can regularly wear for that long??

[MissyW]

I am just starting to use makeup so i am really working on applying it decently.

[Joy Carter]

Behaving myself for once. LoL:D

[ArleneRaquel]

Getting the nerve to have a complete makeover.:2c:

[Dayna3]

2 things actually, makeup and losing some weight.