Going out Thursday and Saturday, scared as hell!

[Alana Beaumont]

Hi everyone,
So, I'm going out en femme this Thursday and again on Saturday, but I'm scared as hell about it. Long story short, my first outting in femme was a fiasco which ended after only five minutes. Maybe I'm just looking for some words of encouragement; I don't know. What goes through your minds and how do you deal with it when you go out?

[Sheila]

Hun, congrats on being brave enough to try again .......... where are you going and are you going with friends ?:hugs:

[tricia_uktv]

Its hard when you start, but well done for trying it again. Be proud, stand up straight, head high. Divert the pressure back on others.

I know that sounds so hard but is so important.

But whats even more important is to smile.

I wish you so much luck and remember what life is about; having fun. So have some, enjoy yourself,

Deep hugs,

[PaulaJaneThomas]

What goes through your minds and how do you deal with it when you go out?

Just the normal things such as where I'm going and what I've got to do or buy.

[Barbara Jo]

I assume you are dealing with paranoia, which is normal for the most part for a first outing.
You can assume that everone is looking at you and reading you as a male.

However, people will assume you are female unltil you give them reason to think otherwise.
It has often been said that when you try to pass as a female you have to really believe yourself that you are female and act acordingly.

Have confidence while "out" and just do as any other woman would. Don't think of yourself as a male dressed as female. Just think of yourself as female.

Remember, females come in all sizes and shapes :)

[Karren H]

My mind isn't worried about what anyone else is or isn't thinking or is or isn't saying..... its full of "where were those cute dresses on sale"...... Just ignore the rest of the world.. Act like you own the place and go do what you want.. Where you want...

[Michelle-Leigh]

Hey, maybe you could try doing what I did on my first outing; I just put on some casual ladies' clothes and walked twice around the park fully dressed, but with no wig or makeup, just my male face.... When I did it, only one person out of the dozens who saw me even gave me a strange look. If you can brave that, then going out fully en femme ( if you are looking as good as your photo appears to show!) should be much easier.

[Cindi]

Alana, My advice to you is to be confident in yourself as a lady. Hold your head high, do not look directly at anyone with fear in your eyes.
Remember, everyone will look at you as a woman unless you give them reason to think otherise.

[Teri Jean]

There is some great advice here and I would add, it's like swimming in the lake. When you first get there you test the water for warmth and although it may be colder than you like you press on in small increments until you are swimming. So keep trying and go slowly. A drive or walk through the neighborhood, next to a movie or show, then shopping with a friend, and then out for a meal or club. Be comfortable but not to much. Push your comfort a little each time until you can take a deep step and soon you will be swimming with the rest of the girls.

Huggs, now go for it. Teri

[Alana Beaumont]

Thank you all so much for the encouragement; its so good to know that such wonderful people still exist in the world *massive group hug*. I'll be going out with friends both nights. The first night, I'm going to Karaoke at a local LGBT club and, the second night I will be attending a local monthly art festival with some trans friends. I think my biggest concern is that my wig will give me away. Although, I personally don't think it looks bad. I've definitely got the paranoia thing going on, but I just need to work on how I might react to being read; I have a tendency of curling up inside when it happens.

[Jeanna]

It looks like you need to get out en femme. Hell you look like a woman. Be confident, be you and have fun.
Jeanna

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Alana,

Let me make a suggestion to you, don't worry about being read, just go out and have some fun. Most people are too busy with their own lives and hangups to worry about or even notice you and those that don't have worries or hangups are usually too polite to say anything to you.

Just remember 2 things:

1 - Go out
2 - Enjoy and have fun

Nicole