Help! 1st outing

[Heather65]

I'm sure this subject has been covered, but I haven't seen it. I am new at xdressing and still learning quite a bit, but I am wanting to go out en femme and have a couple of concerns:

1. I am very apprehensive about going out. I would like to go shopping dressed, but am afraid that I'm not pretty enough and my body shape and voice would give me away. I really trust you girls and would like some honest feedback on this.

2. When going out, what do you do when you need to use the restroom? The last thing I want is to get beat up or arrested.

Thank you so much in advance girls.... :hugs:

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Heather,

Good on you. Before venturing into the outside world though, I would practice a bit. Is there a place where girls like us meet or a gay bar near you? If so go there a few times to build up your confidence and attitude. If not, and you need to get out, its attitude, attitude, attitude that counts. Oh, and I always use the girl's room,

Hugs and good luck,

[Tracy_Victoria]

Passing out, is something you very much have to learn over time. it as much a confidence in yourself over being able to throw on a female image and look good.

it a timezone, or period you must enter and work through, ie building up a passable look, and your confidence too, you need to take small steps, and learn to walk first before you can run!

[Sheila]

Firstly hun all us GG's come in all shapes and body sizes, so don't worry about your body shape . I am a little fat round GG :heehee: 5 foot 3 inches and well u ain't getting to know my weight :tongueout and trust me I will win no beauty contest EVER :sad: but that don't matter cos I am me, I am unique and so are you. Some fems have deep voices, speak slowly but clearly, and most of all don't worry, most folks are to busy getting on with what they are doing to give you more than a glance:)

Go out act as if you are the fem you feel, be confident, don't hunch your shoulders & look at the ground, smile ( not a huge grin just a tipping of the corners of the lips. If you are presenting as female then use the female restroom ........... remember to point the feet the right way :heehee:

Go out and enjoy, then come back and let us know how you got on :hugs:

[Tracy_Victoria]

Firstly hun all us GG's come in all shapes and body sizes, so don't worry about your body shape

This is so very true, and it's a fact many people get hung on, you don't need to look like a filmstar or a glamour model to pass, all you need to do, is look like a woman. (any woman!)

[vikki2020]

Hi Heather. I know the feeling, and it can be a little intimidating. Maybe for your first time, just walk around town a bit. I would scout some locations first, an area with lots of stores, where you could window shop. Being in a crowd helps, where you could blend with the masses. I see your in Montana, so I don't know if you have "masses" there!:heehee: Just pick a spot that you can park, and walk around for a while. As for the bathroom, scout that out also. A good spot is an office building, or a medical building--they usually have single occupant rooms, go in and see if they are locked or not. And---- Good Luck!:)

[Ann Thomas]

Hi Heather,
I first went out en femme in southwest Washington, not far from you really. What I found was that I gradually got more and more dressed as people got more and more used to it. I tended to go first where I knew people and trusted them, and where I knew there were security cameras, like the local banks and the stores that have security in them, like the big box stores. That's a good thing in case anything happens, because it'll all be on tape.

I only was accosted verbally once in the four year I went around dressed in my little tiny farming community (less than 4,000 people live there). It happened only once when I first went out, and I now know why it did. (I was never accosted physically.)

What I found worked by far the best was to dress whatever I felt most comfortable in and just set all the thoughts aside as I went out the door. I immersed myself in what I was doing and just was myself at that point - I ignored the clothes. If I got self-conscious or felt intimidated, that's when I had trouble. Most people just ignore everyone around them. A few women would see me and their faces would light up and they'd smile very warmly - those women make my day whenever I come across one. Guys don't care, in general, if you have the confidence to carry off who you are. They tend to pick on the weak, so don't express weakness.

I never have tried to alter my voice by speaking in falsetto. The guys that can pull that off best either have had good vocal training or naturally have higher voices to begin with.

As far as restrooms, I was really in a quandary over that too, so went out only for short trips at first. I sought the advice of a trans that I met on line who lived in Seattle and has been trans, and very good at it, for years. Their advice was to always use the men's room unless you have gotten so good that you can really pull it off to most people (think like the ones you might have seen on Jerry Springer, where they do an episode where they ask the audience to guess male or female at birth).

So what I do is head for restrooms that are nearly empty, and if there's some scarey dude in there, head for a stall and lock the door. If not, I head for the urinal, kind of partly for the shock value, teehee! But, when I feel really out of place, like when travelling, like at a truck stop, I'll find a single occupancy restroom and use it. Another thing I do is head for the Family restrooms that are becoming more common, and hey, I'm a bit of both genders, so why not?

So, in general, I'd steer clear of the women's restrooms up in that part of the country. You can;t get arrested for dressing female in a male restroom, when your driver's license says you're male. But you can have alot of trouble if you get caught in the female restrooms no matter how you're dressed.

As far as ID is concerned, I heard that you get less trouble if you have your driver's license picture done en femme. It's much easier to explain to a police officer that it's really you if you're dressed up and using an en femme picture. On the driver's license the picture is really tiny and most people don't notice how you're dressed - but that the officers see the large version when they bring it up on the computers, so they clearly see it. I had my Washington State one done with makeup, earrings, and a cute top that didn't have too much detail at the neckline. I did not wear a wig for the picture, because that really throws people - those can be taken off if you have to prove your identity, but if it's in the picture - sigh - well you get my point.

Hope that helps - being as I pulled it off just fine only a few hundred miles from you. Good luck!

Hugs,
Ann

[Heather65]

Here is a recent photo..i would like some honest feedback on if i look convincing enough to go out en femme. Thanks girls for all the wonderful feedback you have given me.

OXOXOX

[Sally2005]

You look fine, but leave the big jewlry at home. For the mall you want to blend in, so wear what other shoppers do. Your face and makeup look good.

[GINA-CD]

Honestly, you look great and I think you look just fine to go out there but.... there is this other thin you need to add to your look and that is confidence. Nobody says it's easy but once you do it, you'll see it wasn't that hard either.