The Wife found out yesterday!!

[Jonelle]

We were sitting around talking last night watching a little TV, and she laid it out to me!!

Apparently I had left my computer unlocked for the first time in about 6 months and she decided to search my Internet history.

She had so many questions!! But then again, who could blame her! She asked me if I thought I was gay, If I wanted to be a woman, and most importantly what it all meant..

I couldn't give her all the answers, but I was very honest with her. I told her how much I love wearing women's clothing and that it was something I have been doing since I was just a little kid. I told her how much I love her and that these feelings didn't make me any less of the man that I promised her I would be.

She took it surprising well!! She doesn't necessarily agree with it all, nor does she want to necessarily see me doing it, but she understood me desire and was very accepting of it.

I told her that she could dress me up if she wanted to, and she said that she didn't, but I think she might come around to that idea someday. Also I mentioned some things that we could now do together. Shop for panties!! Shoes!! etc.. and she seemed to like that without actually saying it..

Anyways I think I may have turned a corner here and I thought I would share my story with all of you ladies.

[Sarah_GG]

Also I mentioned some things that we could now do together. Shop for panties!! Shoes!! etc.. and she seemed to like that without actually saying it..

Anyways I think I may have turned a corner here and I thought I would share my story with all of you ladies.

Congratulations! Please get your wife to join this forum so she can get her questions answered, get used to the idea... and be careful not to overwhelm her with your pink fog!

:hugs:

[LisaM]

I agree with Sarah, this forum could be very helpful. In addition, you may want to direct her to other resources on the web.

Don't overwhelm her with dressing. Rather provide her with resources so she can learn at her own speed.

[Kayla Shadows]

I agree with Sarah as well.Just remember the stories of those who pushed too hard with the issue after being out.It doesn't always go so well.Go easy with things and see if she will join us here.I'm sure a lot is going through her head and answers need to be found before she can relax her mind a little more.This is a lot.Go at her pace and things should be fine.I'm very happy she is doing well with this so far.That's good news

[Karren H]

Awesome so far but watch out for backlashes... After she has time to digest this she may snap back 180 degrees the other way.. Appears to happen quite often.. So don't go pushing her.. Let her move at her pace.. Not yours..

[Stephanie-L]

Go Slow. I see some serious trust issues here on both sides. You keep your computer locked at all times, why? Were you afraid of her finding out about you? She takes the first opportunity to snoop on your computer, this implies she was waiting for the chance. Did she have some reason to not trust you? The fact that you are hiding and she is snooping sends up huge alarm bells for your relationship in my mind. You two need to talk and work out these issues, totally seperately from your crossdressing. This is just my $.02, I hope thing work out well for you.........Stephanie

[Annaliese]

This has been said but I am going to say it again.

Go Slow, and don't think you know what she is thinking.

Don't push let her ask the question.

and one last thing Go Slow

[Sheila]

Jonelle, the girls have said it already, but I will re-enforce it, go slowly, take it at your wifes pace, and congratulations for telling her you didn't have all the answers at this time :hugs:

As the others have said tell her about the GG only forum, that way she knows she is not on her own in all this, that there others out here who has been where she is right now.

Good luck and remember go slow :hugs:

[SherriePall]

Easy there, partnuh. Don't push her and don't rush trying to dress more or getting her involved. Be honest with her and answer any questions she may have. And, show her how much you love and appreciate her.

[Sandygal]

Same as above. Take it slow. But didn't you have a feeling of relief to have it in the open finally? Maybe for just a few minutes.

[KayC]

Congratulations! As it's already been expressed, please try to get your wife to join the FAB section. Also, I caution you to go slow with her and give her ample time to adjust to all of this before suggesting any participation...this will take time to sink in and for her to learn about this.

[Jonelle]

Thank you for all the advice, as most of you have pointed out it seems to be most important to take it slow, and my plans are just that.. taking it at her speed is probably the most important thing at this juncture.


Go Slow. I see some serious trust issues here on both sides. You keep your computer locked at all times, why? Were you afraid of her finding out about you? She takes the first opportunity to snoop on your computer, this implies she was waiting for the chance. Did she have some reason to not trust you? The fact that you are hiding and she is snooping sends up huge alarm bells for your relationship in my mind. You two need to talk and work out these issues, totally seperately from your crossdressing. This is just my $.02, I hope thing work out well for you.........Stephanie

My computer automatically locks after five minutes, and usually I don't even think about it. She has every right to use my computer whenever she feels like it, it just happened to be that i left my browser open.. my internet history automatically clears when i close my browser. She wasn't snooping, it was more of a "it just happened" Last night we had a really great open talk and we have always been really great at communicating.. I have been trying to find a way to tell her for a long time and this actually worked out. I appreciate however your advice on keeping the lines of communication open however.


Congratulations! Please get your wife to join this forum so she can get her questions answered, get used to the idea... and be careful not to overwhelm her with your pink fog!

:hugs:

My pink fog could easily overwhelm her, and thus I will go slow, she told me she would even support if I did want to transition, although it wouldn't be good for our marriage. She is confused, as I would expect her to be. I'll be careful!!


Same as above. Take it slow. But didn't you have a feeling of relief to have it in the open finally? Maybe for just a few minutes.

OMG!! such a relief, and not just a few moments. Still and I don't see those feelings dissipating any time soon.

[Stephanie-L]

I am glad things are going well for you, and that suspicions were not justified. If I jumped to conclusions, I apologise. As I said, and others have repeated, go slow. You have had years to come to grips with who you are, and may or may not be comfortable with that. She has only had a few days to adjust, and the faster she is pushed the more likely things will turn out badly for you. I hope things continue to go OK and keep us informed, we are thinking good thoughts for you sister.....Stephanie

[DanaR]

The only thing that I'll add is to try to be understanding and sensitive to her feelings.

[Emily01]

i felt troubled when i read this thread.

troubled by what appears to be a subtext that, over time, by "going slow" with her wife Jonelle could find more and more expression in her marriage. i understand that that could happen, and i don't have a problem if it does, in fact i would be happy for her. no, the issue for me is that it feels as if manipulation is at work. that by going slow with the revelation that the marriage could be reworked in favor of Jonelle. i guess it troubles me at that level in that the underlying message is one of deceit. i don't believe that anyone here is consciously advocating that, but i wonder if it might not be an ulterior aspiration. i understand that with this post i risk offending and i most certainly do not mean to do that, yet i believe it's important to avoid those sorts of behaviors especially in our most sensitive relationships of trust and i just wanted to point out how this thread might easily be read and possibly viewed, even by Jonelle's wife. just my humble :2c:

[TxKimberly]

Congrats! If your at all like me, your going to feel like a thousand pounds was taken off of your shoulders now that she knows. :-)

[Michelle_NY]

I went thru the same thing almost 5 yrs ago gf. But THANK GOD it was just her finding out that I dressed, not the COMP. If it was, it prob would be a totally different story here. XO Michelle. Try to take things one day at a time

[Chari]

Great advice from previous posts! Continue to "go slow" & communicate to let her know your feelings. Hopefully she too will confide in what she is comfortable with when Jonelle appears. She has a lot to digest, but IMO can be a wealth of information to help you enjoy your feminine side.

[annieb]

Hope all goes well for you and shes supportive

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Good luck...hope it works out better for you than it did for me...:daydreaming:

But being single now does have it's "perks"!!!

[JennaR]

My wife found out about 15 years ago and we have been making progress with it all. I'll actually be going out on sat. in Sac to a dinner dressed. That, has been very difficult for her but she has relutantly given me her blessing. I/we have a habit of pushing too much. Although we may look and feel female dressed we can't forget that we have male minds and sometimes are selfish. As pointed out by my wife "if men needed to carry children for 9 months, give up thier bodies, and be denied what they want our spieces would be doomed"

Let her take as much time as she needs and you will both be happy.

[TJ Tresa]

My dear Jonelle, please listen to all the advise given to you. GO SLOW!! Just can not say it enough. Just about everyone who has gone through this has found out that it can turn against you or can go your way. go shopping with her, point out things you would like to see her wear, hint every once in while. "Honey, I love this. I'll bet it would look good on you." something like that, let her addit up.
Let her know how far you are willing to go with your CDing, Wether or not you are ready to go out in public, tell friends and family or just keep between you and her.
Also be awear of the fact that alot of womewn have close friend in whom they confind in, so she might talk to someone and they may convience her to take a strong dislike toward you CDing. they may convience her that she is lucky.
there are wso many varibles that you must go slow.
Now that I have battered your head with this let me say with all my heart, GOOD LUCK.